He cracked his eyes open slowly. His eyelids were heavy, heavier than they'd ever been in his whole life. How had he ever blinked so easily before?

He got a glimpse of something white... Or perhaps just a very bright light?

Someone was saying something. Muffled. Far away.

Everything was so blurry. So unclear.

His eyelids were so heavy.

He let his eyes shut once more.

When he opened his eyes again, they seemed to work better. There was still a bright whiteness in front of him and he felt exhausted. A slow ache started up, all up his arms and legs. He let out a slow groan of pain.

Someone's voice called something. His name, maybe?

Suddenly the bright whiteness was blocked out by a silhouette of someone with a halo of light around them. His eyes struggled to focus. A hand had taken hold of his own, soft and gentle.

The voice was still talking. Upset. Distressed. Crying?

A tear hit his face and he blinked, vision slowly clearing up.

“Himchan? Himchan can you hear me?”

Youngjae.

He let out a long groan of pain as his body woke up, every inch of him aching. His arms stung a little and so did...

One of his legs...

He flinched with a sudden jolt of sickness and pushed himself to sit up unsteadily. He felt Youngjae grab him, trying to stop his movements.

“What are you doing? Stay still, you're hurt!”

“My leg! I can't feel--” He looked down and saw the white sheet draped over him, marking out two distinctly leg-shaped bumps. He reached out, hand barely coordinated, and grabbed his thigh. “That's my leg.”

“Yeah...”

“Oh thank God. I thought it had been amputated.” Himchan let out a relieved sigh, immediately relaxing.

“You thought... You thought they'd...Oh my God.” Youngjae threw his arms around Himchan, pulling him close. “Oh thank God you're okay! I was so worried! I didn't know what had happened!” Hot tears were soaking through the flimsy hospital gown.

“Ah! Hey, hey,Youngjae, Jaaeeeee, why are you crying? I'm fine.”

“I-” Youngjae hiccuped and straightened up, freeing Himchan from his grip and wiping his face with the back of his hand. “I was so worried that- that the last thing I'd said to you had been so harsh and- and even though I called you to apologise you couldn't really hear me. You'd lost so much blood when the ambulances arrived that they weren't sure you'd make it.” He breathed heavily, eyes puffy and red and cheeks flushed.

“How long have I been here?”

“'Bout two days. You had to have a blood transfusion and stitches and...” He waved a hand, unable to continue. He took a shaky breath.

“Were you here the whole time?”

Youngjae nodded. “Jongup, Daehyun and a few others dropped by to check on you,but I stayed here. I- I just felt so awful and-” he choked on a sob.

Himchan felt a rush of affection for the younger. “Hey, Youngjae, there's no hard feelings. You were right. I was being an . If I'd died I wouldn't have come to haunt you for it.”

“Oh God, what if you'd died?”

“Youngjae, it's fine! We're fine!” Himchan laughed a little, still weak but glad to have company.

Youngjae's eyes welled up and he threw himself back on Himchan, pulling him into a hug. Himchan patted his back gently, arm still heavy. He was thankful for all the painkillers he was clearly on, because Youngjae's hug was probably crushing his ribs.

When the younger's tears subsided and he'd calmed down, Youngjae eventually took his leave and made Himchan promise they'd go out for lunch somewhere when he was out of hospital. There was a moment where Himchan desperately wanted to ask the question that had been playing on his mind since he'd realised that it was Youngjae at his side, but he kept his mouth shut. Youngjae left, and he was alone.

It took some time, but eventually he was released. Jongup had come to pick him up and was eyeing the thick brace that had been strapped around Himchan's ankle as he helped him walk. The sun shone down on them, the first truly clear sky of spring.

“Honestly, Himchan. I'm starting to worry if I should ever leave you alone. Every time I hear from you it's like another awful thing has happened. Do I need to babysit you?”

“Maybe that's it, Jonguppie,” Himchan lamented, “I was never meant for the good life. You were always destined to smack my hands when I got a stupid thought into my head.”

“But I am sort of serious. Do you need me to like, move in for a few days and help you out? I mean, I'd offer you space at mine but my house mates wouldn't appreciate it.”

“Noooo~ I'll be fine. But do drop in occasionally. I've got leave from work until I can walk properly again and I'll be bored and lonely. You don't need to worry about me looking after myself” He pushed a hand out to open the front door of the hospital, struggling for balance for a moment.

“I definitely don't trust you on your own at all, but sure, okay. I'll come by before and after college and make sure you're not dead.” Jongup secured hold of his arm and helped him out to the car park.

“Thank you for your kindness and generosity, without which I would be...” he trailed off as he spotted someone walking across the car park.

Jongup saw his expression and followed his line of sight. “Ah.”

“He's here.”

“With flowers.”

“He's here with flowers.” Himchan blinked, brain going numb.

For a moment he worried that the anaesthetic hadn't worn off properly. Then the man in the car park looked up and their eyes met. His head filled to burst with memories, concerns, decisions and words he definitely wasn't ready to say yet. His breath caught in his chest.

“Do you want me to start the car and bring it over and wait here? You can talk to him.”

“N-no. It's not worth it. He's probably here to see someone-”

“He's definitely here to see you. I'm going to get the car. Stay here.” Jongup gave him a reassuring pat and headed down the steps that head to the hospital doors, then jogged away to his parking space.

Himchan stood in silence, unsure of what to say. He cast his gaze down to the steps. He tried to descend, taking the first step carefully. The second step he lost his footing and fell, his heart skipping a beat in fear.

A strong pair of arms caught him, and he found himself overwhelmed for a moment by the smell of cologne and mixed flowers. His pulse thudded in his ears and he swallowed. With all of the bravery he could manage, he looked up at Yongguk's face.

“Thanks,” he managed, barely a whisper.

“Um, any time.” Yongguk replied, voice just as quiet.

Himchan straightened himself up with Yongguks help, and awkwardly pushed his hands into his pockets. Yongguk was watching him, as though expecting him to do something.

“I-” Himchan began.

“So-” Yongguk began.

They both stopped.

“You first,” Yongguk said.

“No, you.” Himchan insisted.

“Um, okay.” Yongguk shifted nervously. “Well I... I bought you some flowers.”

“Oh.” Himchan blinked down at the bouquet. “They're beautiful.”

“I um... Yeah. I didn't think you'd be out yet. I only, um... Just heard about...” He cleared his throat.

“Right, yeah. No, they're lovely. Thank you. Um. It wasn't as bad as they thought it could have been.”

“Right. That's good.”

“Yeah.”

They stood in silence for another moment.

“Um, you were going to say something? Before?” Yongguk offered.

“Oh! Yeah..” Himchan shifted again, feeling nerves claw at his insides. “Listen I... I'm really sorry about that night.”

Yongguk nodded a little, looking downcast. “Right.”

“Not about the first part. I mean, I shouldn't have kicked you out like that. That was really of me. I just... I just let things get to me and I end up overreacting and messing stuff up... I really shouldn't have done that, and I'm sorry.”

Yongguk didn't say anything, but nodded, eyes turned away to look at the hospital windows.

“Um. If it's okay with you... I'd like to... Maybe... For us to...” Himchan took a breath,”I'd like to start again. With you.”

Yongguk looked back at him.

“When I'm able to walk again, maybe we could grab lunch and... Instead of fake-date... Maybe... We could... Try a... Real one...” His voice got quieter and quieter as he kept talking until he was barely intelligible. He scrunched his face, cursing himself internally for being so bad at speaking about it, but when he opened his eyes again Yongguk was looking at him with such relief and happiness he could've cried.

“That would be great. More than great, actually. That would be... Really great. Let's get lunch and... And try a real date.”

“Brilliant!” Himchan let out a short laugh of relief, feeling immensely light headed. He hoped this wasn't some horrible side-effect of the medicine he'd taken.

“You can text or call me when you're better or..?”

“Um.” Himchan bit his lip guiltily. “About that. I sort of... Deleted your number.”

“Oh.” Yongguk shifted uncomfortably.

“So... uh... I guess...” He cursed himself for his own rational behaviours as the tension grew between them.

Yongguk seemed a little at a loss.

“Well... Hey stud, how about giving me your phone number?” Himchan laughed awkwardly and gave Yongguk a very gentle arm slap.

It broke the tension completely and the older let out a laugh. “That's definitely one way to ask.”

“But is it going to work?”

“Well, it seems to be working, though I'd suggest you try a different approach next time you try to hit on someone,” he said as he pulled a pen out of his pocket.

“Oh yeah, what's your approach then?” Himchan laughed a little.

“Save them from some thugs and walk them home everyday.” Yongguk replied, taking Himchan's hand and writing his number on the back of his palm.

Himchan found his face heating up as the gentle fingers held his own, mesmerised by the way Yongguk's lips mouthed the numbers silently.

“There you go. You've successfully got my number.”

Himchan laughed, hoping his face had calmed down. “I'll treasure it. Properly, this time.”

A car horn beeped and they both jumped with surprise. Jongup was sat in his car waving.

“Himchan! I tried waiting but if I stick around any longer I'll get in trouble!” The dancer called from the window.

“Ah, my ride.” Himchan gave Yongguk an apologetic smile.

“Need me to walk you down these steps?”

“Such a gentleman.”

Yongguk helped Himchan down to the car, making sure he didn't lose his balance. When the musician was safely at the door on the passenger side, they paused to look at each other.

“I'll be in contact,” Himchan promised.

“Great. Oh, um, your flowers.” Yongguk held out the bouquet, their hands meeting for a moment a Himchan took it from him.

“Thank you, again.” There was a short moment where he wasn't sure what to do, but then gave up on worrying and leaned in to press a kiss to Yongguk's cheek. When he pulled back, thhe rapper's face had turned pink. “I'll see you soon, hopefully.”

“Yeah, see you soon.” Yongguk's hand had moved up to touch his cheek.

Himchan smiled and climbed into the car. They waved at each other as Jongup drove them away.

“He seems nice,” Jongup commented.

“He is. Really nice.” Himchan smiled down at his flowers.

“So when are you going to tell him that you'll never be able to meet up, what with you being so dependent on me and likely never going to walk again because you're so desperate for me to care for you?”

Himchan slapped his shoulder playfully. “Oh shut up. Just you watch me, I'll be healedin no time.”

Jongup glanced at him from the corner of his eye and smirked.

“What's that look for?”

“You've changed. It's good to see.”

“Changed?”

“Okay, wrong word choice. You've changed back. Back to how you used to be.”

Himchan chuckled and looked down at the flowers once more. “Maybe. Maybe I've just started again?”

“Don't get philosophical on me or I'll kick you out of the car.”

“Tch. I take back everything I've said. You're unkind and mean spirited.”

“There's my old Himchannie.” He laughed at Himchan gave him another slap, but dropped the topic for the rest of the drive.

Soundtrack: Måns Zelmerlöw - Miss America