Three days. One day of crying. One day of re-organizing his life and getting back to planning classes. One day of getting back into the swing of his life without Yongguk in it. Three whole days.

Well, he added to himself as he threw his coat off and dropped himself down on the couch, two and three-quarters. One quarter left to relax and get his act together. One quarter to lie in the dim room, maybe turn the TV on, and forget how horrendously dark and cold it had been outside.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, making his brow furrow. He pushed himself up with a groan and dragged himself to the door, ready to tell any door-to-door salesman to kindly off. As he pushed the handle of the door down and just got it a fraction open, something shoved against it and he was pushed back as whoever was on the other side of the door stepped into his house mid-sentence, bringing with them a cold bluster of wind from the black outdoors.

“-don't know what stupid idea you've got into your head this time, Himchan, but you've got some serious explaining to do.”

“Youngjae,” Himchan breathed out. “No, come in, make yourself at home.” He gestured to where Youngjae was already halfway down his hallway, glaring at him like he'd insulted the entire Yoo family ancestry.

“You can rip into Daehyun all you like. Who doesn't get pissed off at Daehyun? Not me, definitely. You can wax on about your ex for the next fifty years and I'll allow it because honestly that guy was a douchebag and you should've left him earlier. You have the go ahead to ing break his jaw if you ever see him again. Hell, I'll pay you to do it. You can break the hands of any drunk guy who grabs you in a bar or beat up the creepy guys who yell at you in the streets-”

“Youngjae, get to your point. Right now it just sounds like you want me to fight people.”

The younger man stepped close and jabbed him in the chest to punctuate his next sentence. “You do not get to hurt Yongguk's feelings.”

He raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“Bang Yongguk is a gentle, precious, angelic being and doesn't need your bitter self tainting that.”

“Jeez,Youngjae, if you like him so much why don't you go and marry him?”

Youngjae scoffed. “Please, even you must have noticed what a genuine person he is. Or are you that deep in your own that you can't even identify a decent person when they're putting up with you?”

He clicked his tongue, eyes narrowed. “What's this to you? How do you even know about whatever you think you know about?”

“I saw you two at Daehyun's party, and then your friend the other day said Yongguk had a date and described you. Then last night Daehyun calls me up saying Yongguk's literally in tears because he's so confused about what's happened.”

Himchan's face changed to a frown. “He was crying?”

“Wasted tears, in my opinion,” Youngjae said with a shake of the head. “You need to sort your life out, Kim.”

“That's what I was trying to do before you came barging in-”

“No, I mean seriously. No more of your pretending and stupid façades, okay? Youhad a ty boyfriend over a year ago and you're still getting over everything he did, that's fine. You're still dealing with all that baggage. Whatever. But you need to stop taking it out on everyone else.”

“I'm not-”

“I haven't seen you smile genuinely once in like... Nearly two years. You don't laugh any more. You're miserable. Then you come across the most soft, gentle person in the world and apparently even your stone walls can't be broken down. Honestly, Himchan, you're pushing everyone away and making life harder for yourself. One day you'll wind up alone and it'll be all your fault!”

“You're being over-dramatic. When you're done idolizing that guy you'll realise he's just like any other guy.”

“Yeah. Exactly. He's not a control freak like your ex. He's a normal dude with good intentions. You're the one who flipped and kicked him out to brave the elements. Just accept you're in desperate need of some emotional therapy that's anything other than eating ice cream with that dancer who is honestly far too young for you to be hanging out with.”

“Get out of my house, Youngjae.” Himchan's teeth were gritted together, jaw set.

“Why? So you can pretend this whole conversation never happened then go shopping with your boy-toy?”

“Get out!”

“Fine, I will!” Youngjae stormed past him, marching out of the still-open door. “If I catch even a hint of you hurting my friends again I'll come back here and make you eat those ridiculous products you put on every day.” He shut the door behind him with a bang and swept off into the night.

Himchan stared down the now empty corridor and took slow, unsteady breaths. He closed his eyes and pressed the heels of his palms against them, shaking a little. He counted each breath slowly, then repeated the mantra a few times until he had calmed.

He located his phone, glaring angrily at his shaking hands, and dialled. He kept his spare hand tucked into his armpit to keep it steady as he pressed the device to his ear. Each ring was like a drill boring into his temple.

“Himchan? It's pretty late, what's up?”

“Are you free soon?” His voice wavered a little and he internally cursed himself.

“I can make space for you on Wednesday. Should I buy ice cream?”

Himchan opened his mouth to say yes, but paused. “N-no.” He bit his tongue until he was sure he wouldn't stutter. “Let's go out somewhere. I'll pay.”

“Okay, that sounds great! It's been ages since we last went out. I'm free after three, meet you outside my studios?”

“Yeah, that works fine. I'll see you there.”

“See you there!”

He hung up and stared at the screen. Had it really been that long since they went out? How often had they been cooped up inside his living room with old movies and junk food? He shook his head and swallowed.

Maybe a change was good.

Soundtrack: Ramin Karimloo - Show Me Light