(Mi Na)

"Let's get married."

To say I got a huge shock is an understatement. Dong Shik oppa looks up from his desk as my mind goes blank. He points to the phone in my hand, still held closely against my ear, and reminds me that I am still on the line. That brings me out of the shock, and I realize I have not uttered a single word after hearing that sentence.

"Woo Bin-ssi... I'm with Dong Shik oppa right now. I'll call you when I'm home."

A low, guttural sound from the throat comes through the other end. He didn't appear quite like his usual self. Was that how guys sound when they propose? Not that I'd not been proposed before... but that was a long time ago. It is not something I should be thinking of now.

"What's wrong?" The manager eyes me with a squint, made more dramatic as his eyes are a little small to begin with. "You spaced out for quite a while there. Wasn't that your hot, young lover?"

I look up from the phone, "He said...," and shake my head. "Never mind, it's nothing," he just asked me to marry him! "Oppa, if we are done can I leave now? I barely have enough rest recently."

"Go, go! ...You sure you don't want to wait for me? I'm finishing soon and can send you."

"It's ok, I can hop on a cab. Could you just make sure the workshop send my car back by tomorrow?"

He nods and goes back to the papers on the desk. Dong Shik oppa is not my first manager, but he certainly is the one that works best with me. I know he is one I can count on.

"Oppa, he asked me to marry him."

The manager looks up from his papers, sits back and folds his arms across his chest. "Is that what you meant by nothing? ...You don't look too excited or happy for someone who just got a proposal from her boyfriend."

"It's just... a little out of the blue. Of course I'm delighted!" I make a crescent smile with my eyes.

He nods his head, thinking through what I just said. Somehow that makes me uncomfortable. Dong Shik oppa has always been the one who reads me better than myself.

"So, when do you plan to get married? You know I have to be the first to know. There would be lots of work to be done with the media," he goes back to his papers as if this news is just another schedule to be done.

I look at him helplessly. My smart manager probably knows I'm more shocked with the proposal than him. I turn to walk out, knowing there's much for me to think today.

"Mi Na-ya," he calmly calls out from behind. "You do realize you still call your boyfriend 'Woo Bin-ssi', right?"

It's the norm for celebrities to deny their relationships, and to make up a non-existing one - all for the sake of their careers. I didn't expect my past rumor to surface again a few months ago, and the agency having to bury it with something new. But I was surprised they chose to work with Woo Bin's agency. What's his reason for agreeing to this? It didn't occur to me that we would eventually date for real. We aren't exactly the same type of people, but he is a gentleman, and our relationship could be considered amiable. Well, amiable. The proposal, it caught me totally off-guard. It's like a puzzle in this relationship, with way too many missing pieces.

The wind that greets me as I step out of the building is cold if a little foreboding. The weather is turning cool enough for a stroll and I welcome the crisp air to settle a restlessness within me. Few cars are plying on this side street and it is easy to take in the whole place in a glance - that includes a person in a black cap worn low, standing just across the road.

My heart skips a beat. It recognizes the familiar figure. Without seeing the person's face, it is clear to me who he is. The quiet wind sends a fallen brown leaf across my face, so slowly, like how time flows. My cream heels stop at the pavement, they contemplate, to move forward or turn to the right. They cross to him. The brooding eyes staring at me from under the cap, they made the decision for me - against my will.

The street is clear. There are no litters, no paparazzi. I cross the road with a heavy heart, while making sure to look confident and poised. He doesn't say a word, but look quietly at me before opening the car door, signaling for me to get in.

"What are you doing here?" I ask emotionless. I have no intention to get into the car.

He remains silent but his body language is insistent. So many years and there's still no change in him. I quietly slip into the car. I have no wish to invite a spectacle.

"When did you get a license?" I asked. He ignores the question as he swiftly gets on the road.

Ten minutes later when we are well on a quieter area, he finally speaks. "How have you been?" He says without taking his eyes off the road.

I nod absentmindedly. There are more things on my mind than to answer such a mundane question.

"Your new drama... it must be tiring," he tries again.

I glance at him, tracing his eye, nose, cheek and ear surreptitiously. My eyes linger longer than they should. This person, is he still keeping track on me? "It's more tiring than usual," I finally reply. "We are still in early stages of the drama and I have to sit through three hours of special make-up every time."

"... It must be really hard work," he says, eyes still not leaving the road. I continue to study his strong features, he doesn't look any different from before, just... more cool. Does he think I've changed much?

We both become silent again. Thoughts of why he comes to look for me after such a long time swim in my head. I glance around the car, nothing to suggest the presence of a girlfriend. Is he living well? Does he still drink too much?

"The boys... they think your new boyfriend looks a little... like me," he suddenly says.

I guess the weather is indeed colder today... I can feel an uncomfortable chill even in the car. "Are they high on something? Better get their eyes checked," I reply without much emotions. My tone must be colder than the temperature.

He pulls over the quiet street. I steal a nervous glance at him but can't guess what is going on in his mind right now.

"Really?" He turns to me, looking at me smugly with those eyes that had once made me forget myself. "I actually agree with them. So how do you like your new toy? Or, are you with him because you can't forget me?"

I'm glad we are in the car. Otherwise the headline for tomorrow would be 'Top Star Going Berserk on Street'.

"Are you out of your mind?" I try to speak as calmly as possible. "You and I are over a long time ago! In fact, he just proposed to me earlier!"

In that instance, I know I shouldn't have said that. His eyes turn the deepest shade, so icy cold and yet ironically full of fire. It is the familiar eyes that I know. It makes me scared, and yet, it stirs a whirlpool lying dormant within me.

"What?! Propose?" He bangs on the wheel so hard the car shakes. Then he hits it again another two times before turning to me. He looms over me, grabs me closer and... forces his lips on mine. I can feel his anger, his dejection, his jealousy... and his love, all over again. It is as though the years did not pass between us. It is as though what happened between us was only yesterday.

"Choi... Choi Sun Hyeong!" I push him away, gasping for air. "What are you doing? Are you not done with your nonsense?"

He bends over and laughs bitterly over the steering wheel. "What about you? Are you done with your feelings for me? Are you really over it, huh? Yang Mi Na?"

"I am," I look away.

"You're not! The moment I see you I know you have not! You couldn't forget me, just like I couldn't forget you for the past seven years!"

Seven years. It is a long time. You and I were so young then. "Please, don't be ridiculous. We have both gone through several relationships since then. We have both moved on."

"Moved on?" He laughs bitterly. "Yes, I tried dating others but I couldn't get you out of my mind! I thought you were the same," his voice trembles. Is it out of anger or dejection? Sun Hyeong... he is still the same. He is still the same person I met and I left. The same person I fell in love with when I was so young.

I open the door, not wanting to see anymore of this person before me. The life I have now is peaceful and assuring. He is the storm I shouldn't look back on. I take a step out, and hesitate, that boy lying over the wheel, how would he be? Did money and fame not fill his vacant heart? What more could he want from a distant past?

"Don't drink too much... it's not good for you."

"Mi Na!"

"Call me Mi Na-ssi."

As I walk off, I can feel his eyes burning down on me. It is many steps away before I can put a hand to my chest to calm my heart.

Sun Hyeong..... Choi Sun Hyeong... those crazy days when we were in love... those exhilarating moments when I had to sneakily drive to your dorm... those times when all I wanted was to lie in your arms and hear you madly profess your love for me... how we thirst for each other and wanted each other like we were the last drops of water on earth...

why did we let it end?

But it did.

I continued my life as if you were never a part of it. Then one day I had to shoot the ad with Woo Bin-ssi. I had a hard time concentrating that day.

That young actor whom I had to work with, I kept staring at him that day.

He... has your eyes.

Chapter song - If You (Big Bang)

https://youtu.be/ToyYk5opyFo