It’s been two months since Yoongi and Youngjae reunited at the park near Youngjae’s university that Youngjae hated so much. It has been two whole months since Youngjae’s hatred towards his university, people inside it and the small park near it has died down. Youngjae actually kind of liked going to school nowadays as Yoongi would most of the time waiting for him in front of it as soon as Youngjae’s classes were done; and the two of them would either go to Youngjae’s house or Yoongi’s studio. Youngjae has been the happiest he’s been in the past two dreadful years; he’s been smiling a lot more, he’s been laughing at the top of his lungs more, he’s been singing more.

Youngjae was finally able to normally react to a random picture of Yoongi on the internet, or to one of Suga’s songs on the radio. Youngjae didn’t want to jump off a random skyscraper now when hearing one of Bangtan Boys’ songs that his classmates loved to play a lot during lunch breaks.

Yoongi could finally take a deep breath and focus on his music. His songs finally stopped containing depressing tones and melodies. His lyrics lightened up and he started to write about blooming flowers and the clear blue sky, instead of bitterness towards everything on earth.

Youngjae was finally singing on the top of his lungs his favorite nursery rhymes he used to listen to with his nephew and niece a few years ago. He was finally standing in the kitchen trying to make his dad’s favorite chocolate brownies for lunch.

Youngjae was finally able to crack a smile on his face whenever he heard some teens screaming Suga’s name and gossiping about how good he looks with his mint hair and baby-like face. Youngjae could now happily think to himself about how he actually knew that mint haired cutie in real life and how they were childhood friends. Youngjae could finally think about his memories made with Yoongi as 5 year olds and not break down in the middle of the day.

Yoongi could now finally see his favorite person whenever he wanted to and get his honest opinion on his newly written fresh beat, instead of annoying s who were too tired to judge anything. Yoongi could finally see Youngjae’s face and not feel guilty about ruining everything, including both of their lives.

Youngjae could now finally buy front row concert tickets to see Suga on stage and get excited about seeing his favorite hyung shining brighter than the sun.

Yoongi could finally feel anxious about performing in front of someone he genuinely loves other than his family members.

Youngjae and Yoongi could now truly be happy.

“We’re gonna flyyyyyy…” – Youngjae sang to himself as he got out of his shower.

This was the first time Youngjae’s parents have heard him be so content with his life. This was the first time any of his parents heard him sing ever since his fifteenth birthday.

“Honey, is Youngjae singing again?” – Youngjae’s mom asked with a shaky voice, not believing her own ears. Youngjae’s mom was on cloud nine to hear her angel singing with the beautiful voice of his. Youngjae’s mom was trying her hardest to hide her tears that unwillingly and uncontrollably rolled down her wrinkled face, as Youngjae hated tears and he hated when people cried.

“I think he is” – Youngjae’s dad replied. Although his face remained calm, his heart, which broke each time he spotted his poor son with the gloomiest expression on his young face, finally seemed to get a tad bit better.

“Mom, dad, let’s go to the amusement park today” – Youngjae suggested, putting down a plate full of freshly baked cookies. Youngjae was smiling.

Youngjae himself didn’t even realize how his one smile put a band-aid over his parents’ ripped and worn out hearts. He didn’t realize how his colorful choice of clothing put a fond smile on his sister’s face or how he frying eggs for his breakfast managed to tear his mom up. He didn’t even know how his dad made every single one of his coworkers try the cupcakes Youngjae baked over night, saying that ‘his amazing son baked them’. Youngjae didn’t notice how he’d been getting better and better by day.

**

It’s been only about four months when Yoongi had to leave for BTS’ upcoming Japanese concert. Yoongi had to leave… again. Surely, he would come back this time and Youngjae would, of course, see his boyfriend again but for some reason it didn’t feel right for Yoongi to leave Youngjae alone, alone with his horrible at times thoughts and fragile self confidence that can be ruined by a small mean comment from a practical stranger. Yoongi felt as if something awful would happen in those 2 brief days he would be in Japan. But of course, since Yoongi was an entertainer he had to put all those bad thoughts and suspicion at the very back of his mind and provide all those excited tweens with amazing show they would never forget.

Youngjae and Yoongi were at the airport waiting for Yoongi’s band mates to arrive. Youngjae and Yoongi were comfortably sat on the empty seats at the almost empty airport. It was strange how empty it was and how fangirls and fanboys weren’t running left and right in order to capture Suga’s god-like features. It was of course a little weird for Youngjae, the emptiness and quietness at the airport, and it made him very paranoid as Youngjae guessed that the fans could be running to Suga out of nowhere in no time. But Yoongi couldn’t be bothered. He couldn’t care less about how creepy it was not to have hundreds of people screaming and crying all over the place. He was too tired to care.

At last everyone, the bangtan member and the staff members, have arrived and Yoongi was ready to fly out of the country to entertain the Japanese.

“Yo, Youngjae, what’s up, man” – Namjoon shouted as soon as he saw the thin and timid guy standing next to one of his best friends, trying his best to blend in to the background and be invisible.

“Oh hello, hyung” – Youngjae shyly answered. Although Namjoon and Youngjae have gotten pretty close in these four months of Youngjae daily visiting BTS’ small dorm and tagging along with BTS to their interviews, music shows and photo shoots, Youngjae, being the socially awkward 19 year old he was, still felt awkward around Namjoon and the other guys, especially in a public setting.

“Jae, no need to be so formal with us” – Jimin commented, immediately hugging Youngjae as if they had known each other for a lifetime.

“Do I need to mention how my own members aren’t even greeting me? And are just ignoring me?” – Yoongi whined jokingly. Yoongi loved how close the 6 of his brothers have grown to Youngjae and how at ease all of them were with each other. Yoongi, of course, knew it had to be a little odd for his boyfriend to be communicating with somewhat stranger as if they were his actual brothers but he was still very content with the fact that Youngjae was actually making a mental effort to be friendly with everyone.

“Hyung, it’s nothing personal, it’s just that we all like Youngjae hyung a bit better” – Jungkook butted in to the conversation earning a strong glare from Yoongi and a loud and cheery laugh from Youngjae.

Everyone loved Youngjae’s laugh as it instantly brightened up the place and made everyone feel less tense and less stressed. Youngjae’s laugh was another reason Namjoon, Jin, Taehyung and everyone else loved Youngjae so much. Not to mention the fact that Youngjae was always so polite and pleasant to talk to.

Youngjae and Yoongi and the others all said their goodbyes and exchanged movie scene-like dramatic glances and Yoongi was about to cross the red line to board the plane. Yoongi was about to leave with a small worry for Youngjae at the back of his mind, when Youngjae suddenly bolted after him screaming his name.

“Wait” – Youngjae shouted, running as fast as he could to catch up with his boyfriend. Yoongi, who was sleepy and was thinking about getting to his seat as quickly as possible to fall asleep again, turned around and saw Youngjae running for his life.

“Hyung” – Youngjae whispered as soon as his arms were around Yoongi and as soon as he was holding Yoongi’s warm body in his thin arms.

Youngjae hugged Yoongi as tight as he could and tried to breathe in Yoongi smell and tried to remember how nice it felt to be holding onto Yoongi’s firm body. Youngjae and Yoongi stood in middle of the airport hugging each other for ten million years. If it was any other day Namjoon or Jimin would’ve probably gotten mad at the two for being gross and for showing their sappy relationship into their single faces. But today for some reason it felt truly necessary for Youngjae and Yoongi to be hugging as long as they could. For some reason everyone could feel the grief of letting someone so dear to you go, even if it was only for two days.

“Youngjae, it’s not like I’m not going to war or anything” – Yoongi tried to cheer his boyfriend up.

“You’re making everyone think I’m fleeing the country or something” – Yoongi smiled at his small and innocent donsaeng.

“But hyung” – Youngjae started, but Yoongi cut him off.

“I’ll be right back in your arms in two short days” – Yoongi said, trying his best to make his brief departure sound appealing.

“I know” – Youngjae whispered, still not letting go of Yoongi. Youngjae being clingy even further worried Yoongi. He could just sense that something was going on with Youngjae. But he couldn’t figure out if it was just his own head messing with him or if Youngjae’s ‘bad thoughts’ were back and were messing with him.

“Youngjae, is something wrong?” – Yoongi asked, forcing Youngjae to look into his eyes with his honest ones.

“No, I just don’t want you to leave” – Youngjae mumbles barely audible.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ll see you as soon as I get back. Don’t worry” – Yoongi whispered as softly and gently as he could to calm his scared donsaeng down.

“But I won’t” – Youngjae whispered but no one could hear him.

“It’s okay, I’ll be back before you even know it” – Yoongi said and softly kissed Youngjae’s forehead. He didn’t care that everyone was staring at them, he didn’t care that Jimin would nonstop make fun of him ten thousand years from now. He only cared about Youngjae and his well being.

For five short seconds Youngjae actually thought about telling Yoongi everything and stopping him from going to Japan. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t possible ruin Yoongi’s career that was blossoming and his perfectly good relationship with s just because he possible wanted to do something so silly and stupid.

“Good bye, hyung. I love you” – Youngjae said and kissed Yoongi’s lips as fast as he could so that no one would notice it.

Yoongi smiled, mouthing an ‘I love you’ back and hugged his paranoid boyfriend one last time before boarding the place and leaving him alone with his thoughts for two days.

It felt unusual how big of a deal Youngjae was making out of Yoongi’s ‘business trip’ that would last for only two days. Yoongi didn’t feel good about this, not even a bit.

“Please keep an eye on Youngjae. He’s acting a bit weird” – Yoongi typed and pressed send to one of the people he despised with everything he had – Im Jaebum. But despite the fact that both Jaebum and Yoongi hated each other to death and were ‘life-long enemies’ they still had a huge thing in common – their love for Youngjae; and Jaebum one of the only people who knew Youngjae’s problems.

Youngjae proceeded to hang out with Yugyeom at their favorite spot the rest of the day. He didn’t bother to go to his classes and see his psych professor’s face.

Yugyeom was busy coming up with something new that would impressed the judges at the audition and Youngjae was sat on the floor, taking care of the music.

Youngjae loved watching Yugyeom dance. Yugyeom made it seem as if every other dancer in the world was doing a bad job and as if they weren’t passionate enough. Yugyeom made it seem as if everyone was doing it wrong.

“I love how your eyes start to glisten and how ambitious you become whenever you start to dance. I love how pour your heart into dancing” – Youngjae confessed randomly, carefully watching Yugyeom dedicate his soul and body to dancing.

“Never stop dancing, okay? The world needs your dancing skills and the world needs to see your love for dancing” – Youngjae commented which made Yugyeom stop for a while to look at him.

“What’s with all the emotional stuff, hyung, all of a sudden” – Yugyeom said, smirking.

“I don’t know, I just don’t want you to quit what you love doing. I want you to fight till the end, till you get what you want and deserve” – Youngjae said, getting up and grabbing Yugyeom’s shoulders for more impact.

“Hyung, you’re being weird. Is everything okay?” – Yugyeom asked, feeling a bit odd about Youngjae’s sudden encouragement and motivational speech. Not that Youngjae wasn’t supportive and didn’t throw in compliment whenever he could, but today was a bit strange and a bit different than other days. Youngjae was acting as if he was going to leave for somewhere.

“Hyung, you’re kind of scaring me” – Yugyeom admitted, looking at his weird hyung, trying to pick up any clues.

“Just don’t give up” – Youngjae said, lightly slapping Yugyeom’s . Yugyeom got back to his dancing, laughing but still feeling something not right about the whole situation.

It was half past eight when Yugyeom’s mom called him and told him she wanted him home. Youngjae after saying goodbye to his favorite donsaeng and hugging longer and tighter than usual went to the swing set that was almost like his second home now.

“Youngjae” – a familiar deep voice called him, as Youngjae was sitting on one of the swings slowly swinging back and forth.

“Hyung” – Youngjae didn’t even have to look at to see who it was as he knew who the voice belonged to all too well.

“I was worried because you skipped classes today. Not only me, Jackson was all over the place, trying to reach out to you and freaking out because you didn’t answer your phone” – Jaebum sat down on the only left swing next to Youngjae.

“I didn’t feel like going to school today” – Youngjae answered, not even bothering to apologize like he would normally.

“Did something happen?” – Jaebum asked, looking at Youngjae who had now completely stopped swinging.

“Nothing really” – Youngjae replied, taking a look at his hyung who looked incredibly handsome even after 8 hours of torture – school.

“Didn’t you have your volleyball club meeting today?” – Youngjae wondered randomly.

“Yeah”

“Meaning you had a match, right?”

“Yeah”

“Did you have a shower afterwards?”

“Not really, do I smell bad?”

“No. It’s just that you still look painfully good even after two hours of playing volleyball non-stop”

“Thanks” – Jaebum smiled.

“Hyung”

“Huh?”

“Thank you”

“For?”

“Everything”.

Jaebum was confused but didn’t question it. Rather than questioning Youngjae’s sudden gratitude towards him, Jaebum got up and held Youngjae in his arms as long as he could.

“Youngjae?”

“Hyung”

“Thank you, too”

“For what?”

“For proving me that one can actually love another more than one loves himself”.

Youngjae smiled but didn’t say anything back.