January was a lot colder than December:

Flower petals were freezing beneath the layers of white snow, enveloping around the blooming snowdrops, oh how one had wished them to be sterling silvers. And yet he didn't know when they'd bloom, maybe this year wasn't their time and maybe next year it would be too cold, maybe the year after the rain would catch their petals every time of rising. Maybe the year after that they'd have a chance. But maybe they could fight, even if it wasn't their time now, they still had a chance. And yet it was pathetic to think they'd bloom in winter but their roots were strong, supported by wealth obsessed earth with not enough love tarnished by the sun. Summer would come along, eventually.

Youngjae was shuffling out of class, a few smiles goodbye were sent towards classmates that were going home after the exhausting first few days of classes. Somehow the boy had forgotten the time whilst laying around in his apartment, old records playing in the mids of it that were drowning out the students thoughts. And when the few seconds of silence between each song filled in, Youngjae felt himself miserably thinking about his failed being together and Daehyun. It was strange that the bartender would ever so often cross his path of mind, hell, he barely even knew his name. Youngjaes lucky charm had somewhere disappeared beneath the depths of his skin, his thoughts were a mess and he didn't really want to get up from the floor in the living room when Junhong was knocking on his door three days before school started. His eyes would tear up at random times and his chest would tighten, he was a fool for ignoring everyone after New Years but he knew that clearing his mind before school would be the best for him so he didn't really bother. It did help, the boy had slept a lot during those last days and didn't think back to what happened the last year because it was in the past, why bother?

So there goes nothing really, and Youngjae was all but strolling tiredly through the hallway because why couldn't winter break last a little longer. The thoughts were all the same every year and he knew that after a week or two everything would be settled, maybe not his sleeping pattern but he'd let that slip. The boy headed towards their schools library, having to do some research for an assignment that was due in a few weeks and he promised himself not to slack off, New Years resolution and all that. His civics teacher was this kind man that was probably nearing his mid forties, but the assignments he gave always required a ton of work and Youngjae thought that meeting up with Junhong would be the best to get some books, besides it was sort of an apology for ignoring the younger student. But of course Junhong wasn't there yet and Youngjae just shifted from one foot to the other in the empty, cold, corridor. The entire day it had been extremely cold and Youngjae grew grouchier with every passing minute and it wasn't as if he didn't like winter. He even, sort of, favored January but it was probably only because his birthday was in the first month and hey, don't blame him everyone loves the month they were born in. But this year felt- different. It felt bizarre and Youngjae couldn't really point a finger to it because nothing really was different. Except of course, people leaving his life; one person leaving his life but he didn't want to dwell on that any longer and be a grumpy douche about it. And his birthdays always were something special for Youngjae, he wasn't even the tiniest bit ashamed that he still got excited when he was opening up presents, although the presents grew to be smaller and smaller every year, from big, deep red fire trucks to a watch, expensive perfume and ties. He didn't mind though, he had always been one of those "The thought counts" people and besides, his friends were all broke college students and he didn't expect anything huge. Partly glad about it because the thought of being pampered made him a little flustered and maybe even afraid because he could never give the same amount back, at least not until he finished college and found a decent job.

Maybe Youngjae should ask Junhong if the boy preferred October just to make sure he wasn't the only one. But considering that the younger was already ten minutes late he'd have to think about ignoring him for a little bit longer because you simply don't let Yoo Youngjae standing alone in an empty hallway after his classes ended for the day. It wasn't too late, maybe a little after three in the afternoon but Youngjae could be at home now, laying on his bed doing nothing in particular until he would be able to fall asleep after nightfall.

"Youngjae hyung!" A cheery voice emitted, the sound bouncing off the walls with great force and Youngjae shifted his position on the wall to see the tall teenager happily strolling towards him. The older suppressed a chuckle, the lanky boy was way too happy to be in an educational building, college, and one could easily detect his age by the way the boy was acting but because of his tall stature no one really thought about his age and behavior.

"Don't 'Youngjae hyung' me, you're late and I'm cold." Youngjae muttered, nudging Junhong to follow him around the corner where the library was behind fair wooded doors.

"You don't have to be so prissy about it, geez." Junhong commented, still grinning from ear to ear and Youngjae didn't even want to ask so he lead the other to a table and put his bag down, gesturing Junhong to sit down.

"Well for a fact, I am prissy because it was ing freezing. I'm gonna look for my books now, stay put." Youngjae said, all ready to go but he was held back by the other groaning in annoyance.

"I didn't even tell you what happened today, can't I help you with finding your books?" The boy whined, looking like a cute kitten that was being rejected eating any more of the chocolate pudding its owner had given it mercifully.

"Nope, stay put. Read a book, educate yourself. I can't afford getting the wrong documents." And with that said Youngjae left his friend sitting with a small pout on the lonely table somewhere in the middle of the library.

Off to head to the right section, Youngjae skimmed over the paper with the assignment given, eyeing his specific subject. The class was parted, everyone, and with everyone there were no exclusions, had a different subject on politics in Europe and because the assignment was given by their oh so charismatic (Youngjae couldn't hide the sarcasm but it wasn't a lie, his teacher was somewhat a very gentle man) civics teacher, they would have to pair up with students from their partner college who took the same major. It wasn't much of a big deal, Youngjae only had to do some research and in his next lesson he would get paired up with someone he probably didn't even know and they'd have to work on statements as to why Hungary's youth was being repressed by their countries prime minister or, occasionally as to why the elderly population still voted in such huge numbers. And as much Youngjae loved attending the course because of its structure and flexibility, he was scared to make a mistake as this was their first political subject throughout the year as in real politicians and all that stuff. And there were so many things that could go wrong, his partner not having the same opinion as him, or their teachers hating their point of view of whatsoever. But hey, being pessimistic wouldn't get him anywhere now so he just trailed off to his section and started looking for some material.

And there was a lot, all Youngjae knew about Europe was that the continent was rather small but had, approximately, hundred countries (he really didn't know) and crazy many languages so he never really got into the topic too much. But now he had to do research for a country he sorta, kinda knew where it was located but not really and that with another, unfamiliar student. So yeah, digging through the section wasn't as easy as Youngjae had hoped for but soon, after maybe a little bit more than half an hour he found himself approaching Junhong who had kept himself occupied with his phone and some game which as much as the older wanted to recognize, he had no clue what it was about.

"Wow, took you long enough." Junhong said, plugging his earphones out and putting them into the depths of his backpack.

"Did you think I'd come back after five minutes with all the needed material?" Junhong opened his mouth to speak but didn't get to it as the other cut him off. "Don't answer that. At least I think I have everything covered now."

"Why did you drag me along when all you do is talk about studies." The younger groaned, lolling his head back in a dramatic way and he earned a chuckle from the older.

"I'm sorry, this assignment is just creeping me out I think." Youngjae smiled, putting the books securely away.

"Well, try to ignore that assignment because I have to tell you something." The younger students smile tugged at his lips again and soon Youngjae found his friend grinning like Christmas and his birthday fell on one day, which could never happen because of science. And Junhongs birthday was in October.

"I'm listening, stop grinning you look like a creep." The older snorted, leaning back in the chair because he really missed talking without anything to worry about.

"You'd be grinning too but okay. You know that girl who's a year above me? The one I told you about?"

"I guess, if you're talking about Namjoo then yeah." Youngjae answered, humming to himself as he listened to Junhong.

"So she actually asked me out and we're meeting up on Friday." Junhong finished, smug grin along his lips as he leaned onto the table.

"Isn't she just sleeping around? Honestly Junhong, do you even like her?" Youngjae asked, warily of the others mindless actions.

"Wow, and I thought you'd be happy for me but okay." The younger spit, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I am, but seriously, don't do anything that's too much for a first date."

"Yeah, I mean, it's not like I'd sleep with her right away." Junhong stated, hiding the anger beneath a steady face.

"I'm just worried, you're the youngest out of us three. Don't be mad Junhongie." The last was drawn out in an absurd cutely manner and Junhong scrunched his nose, amused by his hyungs attempt to do aegyo that some girls did in front of their crush. But Youngjae was admittedly cute. The arriving Jaebum who pinched said boys cheeks from behind the chair only increased the amount of cringe worthy cuteness.

"Yeah, don't be mad Junhongie. How could you stay mad at that face." Jaebum laughed, stretching Youngjaes cheeks farther without even seeing what he was doing to the poor boy because he still stood behind the latters chair.

"You , that hurts!" Youngjae screeched, and within seconds Jaebums hands disappeared after a pained groan left the students mouth.

"No reason to bite me, Jesus." The older said, pulling the chair next to his friend out and plumping down on it, a playful glare stretching his features.

"How are you two still friends when all you do is hate on each other." Junhong laughed, amused by his two older friends.

"I honestly don't know, I'm just staying with this grumpy grandpa because otherwise he'd be lonely." Jaebum said, shrugging and dodging a fist that was aimed for his side.

"I ing hate you." Youngjae murmured, sinking his head in exhaustion.

"You obviously don't." The oldest laughed, enjoying the younger boys misery. "At least I'm not always late, like a special someone." Jaebum grinned, nudging his head towards the youngest.

"You're mean, I hate you too." Junhong stated, slumping a bit in his seat. "Like, come one. I have my reasons."

"And they are...?" Youngjae cut in, being the most frequent victim of Junhong arriving too late.

"Well today I met Jongup before I was out of my building to head to this one."

"So you were late why...?" Jaebum questioned, even though he hadn't been affected by it today.

"He actually asked if I'd like to go out and bring you guys along, we're meeting later." Junhong said, an awaiting smile dangling on the corner of his lips.

"I'd be up for it. It's not like I have anything better to do." The oldest sighed, leaning back when he received a nod from Junhong whose head head turned to Youngjae.

"I kinda wanted to look through my books after I got home, get some sleep and stuff." Youngjae tried to convey, yawning dramatically to prove a point.

"You're so boring." Junhong groaned, exaggeratedly throwing his arms over his head. "Honestly, I could get you a date if you want, just have some fun."

"If you've already forgotten, I just went over a breakup so no, thank you by all means Junhong but I do not want a date or anything likewise." Youngjae spatted, not sure if he should feel regret in the gut of his stomach for having such a bad temper but Junhong just was a little bit indelicate.

"Well sorry for wanting you to have some fun hyung." The youngest muttered, head a little bit lower and Youngjae knew that Junhong knew were his mistake was and let it slip, heaving out a "It's fine." to assure the younger he didn't need to use honorifics.

"What a great atmosphere." Jaebum said, a tiny bit of cockiness ringing in his usual smooth voice.

"Yeah, well you're not helping." Youngjae mentioned, finally accomplishing in hitting Jaebum even if it was a light one on the shoulder.

"Should we head out or?" Junhong asked, grabbing his belongings and stuffing them into his way to small backpack. Honestly, Youngjae had tried forcing him to buy a new one but the younger was stubborn and No Youngjae hyung, my backpack is fine. Why is everyone on my back because of this? Funny at least because Youngjae was on the dormitories floor laughing over the unintended pun Junhong had slipped into his statement. The boy was rather special in Youngjaes believes.

"Yeah, so where is Jongup waiting for you?" Youngjae asked, grabbing his back from beneath the chair and his jacket that was thrown over the back of the chair.

"East Wing entrance, he's waiting with a friend." Junhong responded, glancing at his phone and getting up from the table. The three of them walked out of the library in silence, a comfortable one to say because although they were somehow quite a rowdy pack, it was getting late and the sky was getting darker it still being deep winter.

Even though Youngjae always complained that he hated the cold (he did) and he hated going to college (partly) he still liked those afternoons when the buildings were quieter and not as crowded as it fulfilled something inside of him he couldn't really describe and Jaebum would probably call it his "personal aesthetics" and it was somehow a little bit accurate but still not quite it. The boy just liked the way the hallways looked empty, the sound of his shoes clacking against the linoleum even if he was only wearing Converse, it made him calm to think that there were times when everything slowed down too. At a busy place all that much more because seeing students and teacher crowding a place wasn't all that pleasing to him and it made him somewhat nervous. No, he didn't have problems with people or interacting with his classmates it was actually always quite nice to have those small talks about whatever their teacher was going to rant on about in the next lesson. There were students he talked to every day to, maybe they weren't so close to go out drinking or having lunch together but they were still that close to talk to every day and then there were some that he just couldn't stand. All too ing cocky and conceited that Youngjae didn't even want to give them a glance as if that only would make them satisfied because they've gotten his attention and that's probably all they want and god, it's so annoying Youngjae wished them everything bad like their expensive cars being stolen or their cat ran away because she just didn't want to live with someone like that because yes, Youngjae believes that that would be something very horrible and could possibly happen. He just hated those kind of people, that always wanted something in return when they let you copy their homework because you were sick for the last few days but your teacher doesn't take a "no". Simply like that. Maybe that was why he always found himself with Junhong and Jaebum because he knew he could rely on them and also, it was sort of difficult to get to know new people when all you do is study and eat ramyun because you have absolutely no time to cook something rudimentary healthy for yourself.

The desolated corridors were something he could pass his sanity to, something that was relaxing. Just like going out alone on a warm, springy afternoon just to stop by the bookstore that isn't even that close but Youngjae felt himself relishing those moments, the sun warm enough to tickle his skin but the air still cold from the winter that had just passed so he had to wear a jacket. He loved seeing people hurrying to their destination and some others sitting on a patio of an Italian ice cream place (Youngjae really wished they'd have more of those). And sometimes coming home would be a burden because someone would be waiting for him and he didn't feel like talking but then Nayeon would be offended and Youngjae wished he never had to go home. He could just stroll around the huge city, explore the places he hasn't been to although he had lived here all his life. And it made him sad, he never had the time to do anything he loved, his hobby of photography was soon forgotten when he enrolled in college and it had died down when he was in his last year of high school. Youngjae had always believed that he would find time for it again, and he did, some days in summer when classes already ended he would call an old friend, maybe Jinyoung because the boy always went along with him in tenth grade when he wanted to take some nice pictures for his mother to decorate their home. Those days always ended way too fast in Youngjaes opinion, and soon he was greeted with an all too familiar good bye he wished he wouldn't have to hear.

He hated goodbyes, they always made one smile that particular sad smile and tears would dangle above flushed cheeks.

"Youngjae you're walking irritatingly slow." Junhong voiced out loud, shaking the older boy out of his thoughts as he was holding the door open for him. 

"I'm coming, don't worry." He muttered, trailing behind his two friends who just rudely brought him back to reality.

"That sounded horribly wrong, hyung. And here I was, being a gentleman." The youngest laughed, his crinkling a little bit as he released small huffs of chuckles. Jaebum only snorted shortly, amusingly glancing over to Junhong.

"No you're just very mature Junhong." Youngjae replied, head up in the air as he stalked over to Jaebum and grabbed the boy by his arm, spitting an Come on hyung we don't need that to be around us which earned him a laughing Junhong and a giggling Jaebum.

"I love you too hyung~" Junhongs voice was drawling out sweetly, making Youngjae sick and maybe a little bit weak because the younger could be adorable at times and only when he wanted to.

"And here I was thinking I was your favorite hyung." A rather familiar voice emitted and Youngjae looked to the left, two students were sitting on one of the lower parts of the wall that was surrounding the large green patches of grass that were covered in a layer of snow. The one with the silverish hair (Youngjae didn't think he'd ever dye his hair) wasn't very tall but seemed to have a very agreeable amount of muscles one could guess from only looking at his well structured face and the defined neck. But when Youngjae shifted his eyes from the silver hair guy his breath somehow stuck in his throat for a second, even less than a second and his face started to heat up because  this isn't the guy please don't be that guy but it was and Youngjae once again let his eyes roam from the black shock of hair that looked slightly tousled, to dark eyes and thick, plushy lips. And while all that happened Youngjae didn't notice his grip on Jaebums arm had gotten tighter but the older didn't seem to bother. He was just glad the bartender hadn't caught him looking at him.

"Jongup hyung." Junhong yelled excitedly, as if he was a second grader who was finally allowed to have a sleep over and his best friend was standing at his porch.

"You're late, honestly I thought you only came late to practice to skip the stretching." Silver hair guy - Jongup - smiled and his eyes practically disappeared and Youngjae thought this was the first time he saw eyes getting so small, not even Junhongs did that.

"Don't start with this or I have to hand you over to Youngjae who's always bothering me." The youngest shot a glare over to Youngjae, emphasizing his words which was absolutely not needed because now everyones attention was on him and he did not like it at all. Mission abort Youngjae, you're gonna die out of embarrassment.

"So you're his precious 'Youngjae', Junhong's been talking a lot about you." Jongup said, a warm smile all across his lips and it may sounded a little sarcastic Youngjae saw that Jongup didn't mean it that way so he smiled back.

"Yep, that's me. He's been going on and on about your dancing skills to be subtle." Youngjae answered, trying to lift the heaviness off of his chest.

"I talk about you a lot, I get it. Let me introduce my only nice hyung." Another glare at Youngjae and Junhong gestured over to the oldest of them three. "Jaebum, not as rude as the one clinging to his arm." A satisfied smile spread across the youngest lips.

"Hi." Jaebum said, and it literally was the only thing he said but with this big smile on his face that was typical for the charming boy. 

"This is Daehyun, he doesn't go to school here though." Jongup mentioned, pulling the strangely quiet man a little bit closer so he would be in their sort of circle / line of people.

"Yeah, hi." Said man said, smiling a smile where his cheeks would be all puffed up and his eyes crinkled into crescents, not as much as Jongups did but still. Youngjae only really remembered the bartenders sleeping face, a little bit squished against the pillow underneath his cheek and he felt himself flushing the fairest shade of very light, nearly indiscernible pink he hoped but that thought quickly vanished from his mind when the other ones eyes met his and Youngjae was sure there was something cocky behind them, mockingly looking at him way too intensely and Youngjae found himself breaking the eye contact an shifting away from Jaebums (warm) side.

"So I thought we could have dinner, there's this really, really great soup place and I'm freezing." Junhong broke the moment of silence, that probably only felt extremely long for Youngjae who thought he had to die, once again. Mission abort!

"I don't mind, let's just go somewhere warm." Jaebum said, glancing over to Youngjae to give him a look the boy only understood as You were warm and now I'm freezing, I hate you and Youngjae only kicked him as subtle as he could.

"Junhong I told you I have to go through those books." He stated, only getting a pouty Junhong in return.

"Don't be such a party pooper, it'll be fun." No one ever said No to a pouting Junhong and Youngjae was being pulled by the arm until he was tugging along with the others but he stayed a little behind after the youngest went ahead to chat with Jongup and Jaebum.

Youngjae sadly recognized his mistake a little bit too late when he felt another person walking next to him and he didn't even have to guess who that might be. Mission abort, for Gods sake Youngjae! Daehyun was right beside him and the younger could only await until he would say something.

"I am correct in believing you remember me, right?" The man said, not an ounce of insecureness in his voice and not even looking at Youngjae and so he decided he would do that as well, might reduce the shade of pink creeping upon his face.

"Well I do, I remember both of you actually." Youngjae spoke, feeling the need to be a little defensive.

"I guess so but you didn't look at him like  this is the guy in whose apartment I woke up and ran out without staying for breakfast." Daehyun said, his honey like voice very clear and Youngjae felt the man glancing over.

"Why on earth should I have stayed for breakfast?" He asked, irritated to say at least.

"Why didn't you, indeed?" Daehyun shot back, eyes glistening with something dark but the younger couldn't figure it out without looking at the other for too long.

"First of all, I had no clue where I was and second of all, I just wanted to get home with my throbbing head." Youngjae hissed, not wanting to grab the others attention.

"First of all, if you were bold enough you would have woken me up, I only heard the door fall shut. And second of all, I could've helped you getting rid of that headache, I am a bartender after all." The older replied, humming quietly. "Just so you know, I was serious, I could've made you something that would reduce the aching."

"Well- Thanks, I guess." Youngjae murmured, honestly slightly taken back by the kindness in the others voice. But of course, the bartender had to ruin it.

"I heard you asked for me?" It wasn't even a question and the younger felt himself getting annoyed but mainly because he had asked for him.

"Just to say thank you, and I did just that." He stated, desperate for this conversation to end.

"You should treat me to dinner." Daehyun suggested, still looking at the one beside him with intimidating eyes.

"Definitely not." Youngjae cut in, giving the slightly taller male a short glare. "I honestly should study." 

"What are you-" But Daehyun was cut off once again.

"Junhong, I really need to prepare for my lecture. I really gotta go home" Youngjae said, loud enough for the others in front of them to hear and Junhong started to pout once again but the other just shrugged him off with a "Sorry" and waved everyone goodbye, leaving them a little dumbfounded but definitely not as confused as Daehyun.

"Next time you better be there!" The youngest yelled after Youngjae who was now heading down another street to his apartment.

"Next time..." Youngjae whispered as he fiddled with his keys at his front door and a relieved sigh left his parted lips after entering his cozy home.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(edited) Please don't be mad at me!! This took awfully long I know I'm so so sorry.

Please comment, even a "This fic isn't boring" is enough ;-; I always think no one really likes this sorry for being insecure

life is busy right now but I will try to upload, can't really make a promise though :c