The light snow from the evening before had turned into a dizzy rain, leaving children whining about it not being a snowy Christmas day. Winter wasn't like it used to be, it wasn't as cold and not as exciting anymore, what could one say about it? The atmosphere wasn't there when the holidays arrived and it just lead people being sulky all the time until spring arrived. One couldn't drape into the beauty of the glistening snow but into the counterfeited side of humanity.

Why was it so easy so deceive people nowadays with resplendent opulence, everything being made under poor hands but given with such an amount of arrogance, putting every candid boy and girl under the supervision of those arrogant s.

Honesty being dishelved between greedy long fingers and bulky paws turning everyday life into a battle of reputation, clearly leaving the losers standing on the outside from the beginning as a battle wasn't even needed for the following outcome.

Youngjae had sometimes thought of it, linking the slight hint of controversy to himself and it was sad to find similarities.

He didn't want to say that his opponents were s because he'd surely never be allowed to put a foot into college. Because to be honest, and Youngjae knew that it wasn't only him, sometimes the authority his professors had was overpowering the students in a way that made them feel worthless. They could just shut you up with a single word and not obeying would lead to fatal consequences, it was clear who had the upper hand, the battle, once again, wasn't needed to prove supervision.

But the worst was that he had caught himself thinking like this when it came to his and Nayeon's desisted relationship, it felt pressured after some time, as if he'd been put under a person in charge without really feeling like being under someone elses control.

When they were able to spend time together Youngjae felt as if he'd been stripped in the most uncomfortable way, his flaws being pulled onto the surface in a cruel way of words coming from lipstick stained lips.

Nayeon had been the most gentle person he had known but with time she started talking without thinking and it weren't those soft words Youngjae would have loved to hear, not small, oh so small love declarations, no, Nayeon had grown to be brutally honest telling him he should lose weight which he did until she was satisfied. She had told him to behave calm and not be too hyper all the damn time, cutting down his excitement for almost everything. She had told him to be a gentleman in order to look perfect to her parents and the world outside their apartment, no scandalous acts such as drinking, going out to late or even smoking.

And when they stepped into the shared flat the charade fell and Youngjae didn't listen anymore, heading for a shower and not waiting for Nayeon to go to bed together.

But he had loved her, and despite those atrocious words, he had tried to hold on to something he shouldn't have and after letting go he thought of all the things he never did because of simply thinking he hasn't wanted to do them.

It easily explained his little trip into the city, feeling free yet lonelier than he would have wanted to but the sight at the local bars in Itaewon made his head spin just from looking at them, the danger he had always thought about that wasn't there but the adrenaline that was rushing through his veins was. 

It was unexpected and too much for the start, leaving him feeling dazed and bemused but he did not want to stop, however the outcome. It was nice forgetting a little bit through his inebriated state, feeling light headed and carefree for once when he knew that the next day would be humiliating his pride. But it was worth it, he knew.

When Youngjae's eyes slowly fluttered open, he was deeply regretting his decision. His head was throbbing and he was feeling tired even after hours of sleep and a low groan left his lips when the grey skies came into his eye sight, still too bright even if there was no peck of blue to be seen and rain pouring outside.

Youngjae nuzzled his nose into the comfortable white pillow, resting there for a moment until he rapidly sat up as he inhaled an unknown scent, eyes large and staring at his surroundings.

The bed he was now sitting in was under a huge window, white bed sheets in contrast to the dark Mahogany wood of the bedstead. His eyes steadily wandered further, landing on a shelve on the right wall made out of the same material, books scattered over the flat surface and it somehow still looked organized.

He roamed the wall, landing on a door, again, made out of the same dark Mahogany and a doorknob which was a pure white. It didn't seem that this door was the exit when right across the bed was a slightly bigger door, this time out of white wood and with a golden doorknob.

Yeah, that probably was the door leading out of the room and even if Youngjae was slightly creeped out to have woken up in a stranger's room, he couldn't resist looking around a bit more.

There was a white table on the opposite of the dark door, paper stacks on the left and a few pencils in a small golden jar which seemed to be written over with Chinese letters in black ink.

Despite the table, the left side was empty except a huge picture in a black frame, showing an enormous building which looked like some sort of business company building to the youth. Cherry blossom trees were nicely hugging the wide pebbles path and Youngjae could barely make out something written in English, followed by the familiar Korean letters underneath it. He couldn't read it even if he slowly got out of bed and stepped forward, an inch between his nose and the picture.

Youngjae took a few steps back, standing at the end of the bed again and looked around once more. He did not know how he got there, nor with whom and this was definitely not Junhong's lousy dorm room nor was it Yongguk's run down flat.

The boy grew to be more scared by the second, not clearly remembering the last night, only until some moment and then everything was a blur of the bar lights and white.

When Youngjae saw his clothes from the day before neatly folded on the bedside table, he didn't even dare to look down but his eyes did so themselves, finding his upper body in a deep blue pullover and black shorts followed which were most definitely not his and he frantically checked if he was still wearing his own underwear, just to be sure. He was, and when he lifted the blanket to check if anyone else was there, he sighed in relieve when he was proven wrong and he was indeed alone in the, well, really expensive looking room.

Youngjae hastily stripped the pullover over his head, shuddering when his skin was met with air and he put his own shirt on, closing the buttons with little difficulties due to his hands shaking a bit. His jeans followed and he was positively surprised that his wallet was there as well, at least he didn't go home with some crazy stranger although he did not remember going home at all.

All that there was were the lights of the bar, well made drinks and bartenders.

He remembered Himchan, the kind of chatty man who'd been talking about the making of the alcoholic beverages and he remembered himself talking about his break up. The image of Himchan leaving got a little blurry and the following even more, he only remembered being served by two different people with nice black and silverish hair, dark, intimidating eyes but then the blur devolved into grey and white dots.

Youngjae was ed, basically.

He could've been kidnapped, drugged, hurt or even worse but hey, at least he wasn't dead yet. He laughed at himself, looking around the room one more time before slowly heading towards the white doo, yet, halting in his movements. 

If this really was the exit, then it wouldn't hurt looking behind the other, dark wooden door right? He glanced to his right, thinking of cons which could come out of his actions but he was sure it wouldn't worsen the situation.

He strode towards it, his hand resting on the round doorknob and he slowly turned it, pushing the door open. He could have expected a room with some crazy  in it, like pictures of himself leaving his apartment or some real mafia thing but he was not expecting this.

A walk in closet, white shelves all over the three walls and what surprised him the most was that it was, with no doubt, male clothing.

Youngjae didn't step into the closet but it didn't harm looking at the expensive shoes lined up in order on the black carpeting or the watches that were secured behind a glass cabinet. The boy slowly closed the door behind him, staring at the other door and he felt the need of knowing who lived here, his hand rested on the golden metal just seconds after, pushing it down carefully.

He was met with an aisle to his left and right, two more doors on his right and a small staircase across the door, through which he left in only three steps which seemed to lead into an open room. Youngjae stepped forward, feeling a little abandoned before he took the stairs, afraid that the dark wood would creek but it didn't.

He shouldn't have been surprised by the interior of the room but it still impressed him. On the left side of the stairs, which was only five meters until one was met with cream colored walls, maybe a little more, was a kitchen and to that it looked as expensive as his entire living room. The counter was made out of silver steal and probably the same wood, which was all over the entire apartment, was what Youngjae guessed but he wasn't and couldn't be sure even if he wanted to.

To the right was a living room, lowered with two more steps that were dragged along the entire length of the room. There was a long, white sofa with its back to him and a few meters away a TV so big, he never even spared those a glance when he went to buy his own with Nayeon. There was a book shelve lining on the wall to the left of the sofa and Youngjae could have sworn there were at least a hundred books placed in there.

Youngjae's body stiffened when a soft groan emitted into the silent air, and his head turned to the sofa when someone shifted and a quiet snore followed.

The boy didn't know if he should run or look who was lying on the couch, deciding for the latter because he was rather curious and if that person was still asleep and that on the sofa, it had to mean he was a decent enough person not to sleep in the same bed as Youngjae.

"How nice." Youngjae thought with a slight, pained smile and took the few steps down to the living area, quietly stepping towards the sofa to look over its back.

A black shock of hair came into view and Youngjae tapped around the sofa, standing in front of it now and tilting his head to the side upon seeing a young man lying there under a grey blanket.

The face was somehow familiar but Youngjae couldn't quite put it together in his mind, he had to admit that he was glad it wasn't some old weirdo. The man on the sofa didn't seem much older than himself, his long lashes feathery touching the bump under his eyes and his plumb lips were slightly parted. Rough looking fingers were gripping onto the blanket and Youngjae had to think of clear glasses being handled and colored liquor being poured into them.

Right.

The sleeping figure was one of the bartenders, the one with the nice shoes and dangerous dark eyes.

Youngjae tried to put a name to his face but failed after a few seconds, knowing that it wouldn't come. He stood still for a few more moments, eyes rested on the man in front of him who was looking so calm and Youngjae couldn't feel any anger in him anymore, the bartender probably couldn't get an address out of him and didn't want to leave him on the sidewalk.

Youngjae smiled slowly and walked towards the front door, glancing behind one more time but the sofa didn't show any of the man lying on it from where he stood.

The door closed behind Youngjae's back after he found his jacket and he let out a sigh, walking down the hallway and considering that the apartment seemed to be quite high from the view he had when he was still in bed, he took the elevator, waiting for the "ping" to fill his ears.

It did not much later and the boy entered the silver lift, pulling his coat on and searching for his phone in the pockets, only to look at the digital clock on it, reading eight in the morning. It surely was early for him to be awake at this time after he most likely had the biggest hangover since he was 18, but he didn't mind, Youngjae couldn't have imagined how awkward the situation would have ended if the bartender would have been awake already. It was better of this way.

The only thing he now had to worry about was how to get home but he could easily grab a taxi if he didn't know where he was.

Youngjae groaned, his face meeting the cushions on his couch as he threw himself onto it rather dramatically. He felt stupid, thinking about what that bartender would think about him.

Some dude who just couldn't handle his liquor and the fact that the other didn't seem much older was also quite embarrassing.

What if they attended the same college? God, Youngjae turned around, facing the ceiling and he let out a soft sigh just imagining how awkward it would be if someone was to know about his little "trip" after being ditched by his girlfriend. He was so pathetic. It was as if he had stepped down onto his own pride, burying the last bits under the intoxicating alcohol. 

Youngjae grabbed one of the pillows and pushed it down onto his face, suffocating the silent, annoying huffs his lips let out.

Why did he do that? He felt as if he had disgraced himself, getting drunk and forgetting about most of last night, how old was he? How he hated it when people did not act their age, playing dumb only to get what they want. He didn't want to be like this, sitting up with his legs crossed in front of him trying to get pieces of his memory back but staring at the plain wall in front of him did not get him anywhere after ten minutes of flipping those empty pages in his mind. They were even beyond empty, it was as if he just skipped those hours and time connected to the second he had woken up.

"God, I'm so dumb."

Youngjae's face was pressed against the warm material of one of the pillows again, thinking of the extravagant bedroom he had slept in, actually slept in, how nice did that bartender have to be to let some random customer sleep in his room, in his damn fancy room.

Youngjae wasn't only angry at himself for getting drunk, no, it was the fact that he had been taken care of once again not even many hours after Nayeon had left. He felt useless, as if he would never be able to confront his life on his own yet he didn't want Nayeon to be in the right.

She'd always told him that he would be no better of without her when they were fighting, Youngjae's screams that he wouldn't even recognize if she'd leave were purely desperate of wanting those words to be correct. But after this night he felt the lie he had set up slowly crumbling down when there was no one he was able to tell them to.

Another thing scratching the back of his mind was how stupid he must have looked to the bartender. Youngjae was seriously scared to suddenly meet the other on campus or somewhere on his way to Junhongs dorm, he'd honestly die out of embarrassment, no doubt. Would the man make fun of him? Laugh at him? At how pathetic he had acted, out of reflex, showing such a weak side of him. He really needed to get his grip together for once.

Youngjae swatted his eyes open, detaching the warmth from his face and when glancing around his living room, he couldn't help but to compare it to the much fancier one he had seen the bartender sleeping in.

His apartment was much smaller, the kitchen being the first thing on the right when entering and there wasn't much, only the kitchen counter separating the living room from it. At least the window was as nice as the one in the other man's bedroom, giving a great view of the lively Seoul beneath the building. He glanced over to the door leading to the bedroom, wishing he'd be able to fall asleep but he didn't even want to step into the room where everything would remind him of Nayeon. He had been surprised when all their photos had vanished like thin air, every frame with her smiling face had disappeared and Youngjae felt cheap.

When his eyes landed on the lustrous Christmas Tree  he all but wanted to pull several blankets over himself and never escape them.

He didn't want to be alone right now, it was so ing rude of Nayeon to leave him just when the holidays arrived. Youngjae didn't know if it was okay to just call one of his friends, considering that Junhong was most likely visiting his parents in Mokpo all the way south and the only person he was close enough to call on such a day was Jaebum, who was probably at his sister's place in Goyang which wasn't too far away but Youngjae didn't really know his other friend's familues all too well so that would be weird too. Yet, he still had one person in mind, pleased by the thought of telling his older friend of his rather pitiful situation.

The youth grabbed his phone and dialed the well known number, waiting for the older to pick up, hoping for the older to pick up. He didn't know if the seconds just seemed to stretch but a sigh of relieve left his parted lips when he heard Yongguk's deep voice on the other side of the line.

"Hyung?" Youngjae asked softly, anticipating a half friendly answer despite knowing that it was only a bit before ten in the morning and he knew that Yongguk was oh so very fond of his sleep.

"Youngjae, what the ?" Yeah, talking about being fond of sleep maybe was an underestimation.

"Are you... available?" The younger tried, hoping he sounded as desperate as he actually felt.

"You know it's not even noon, for what on earth should I be available for?" Yongguk's deep timbre was somehow pleasing to Youngjaes ears, he honestly just wanted his friend to come over.

"For spending Christmas with your favorite person ever?"

The line went silent for a moment, the older ones breathing slicing through ever so often reassuring Youngjae that Yongguk hasn't hung up on him.

"I thought you were spending today with Nayeon?" The older asked, more questions flowing through with it.

"About that... I mean- You available or not?" Youngjae pushed, knowing he shouldn't  provoke the man on the other line but nevertheless really wanted to have him over.

"I'll be there in... maybe 20 minutes."

"Thanks. See you." Youngjae said, hanging up with a small smile on his lips, grateful to have someone like Yongguk in his life.

"Hey." Yongguk greeted the younger boy shortly, slipping off his shoes and entering the apartment, trailing behind Youngjae to the kitchen.

"What's in the bag?" Youngjae asked, hand reaching forward to pry the paper bag open but he was (rudely) interrupted.

"Yah!" Yongguks finger snapped against Youngjaes forehead, the man looking pleased when he continued. "That's not how you greet your hyung." Giving Youngjae the "respect your elders" look which he still hadn't quite grasped yet.

"Have you been up again grading papers?"

"What did you expect me to do?" Yongguk replied, taking the bag and walking the few steps to the kitchen counter.

"Wooing women so that you won't be lonely on Christmas Day?" Youngjae joked, regretting when he was met with a cold stare from the older.

"I've told you, I'm not interested in 'wooing women', I've got to concentrate on work." The man stated in a matter of fact, slowly pulling something pastel pink out of the bag.

"But the times gonna come, you're not getting younger, hyung." Youngjae smiled, happy to be distracted for a while.

"If you keep that up I won't share the cake with you."

Youngjae breathed in, eyeing the cake with really soft pink pastel frosting all over it.

"What do you want?" The younger questioned, cocking his head to the side, honestly not remembering the last time he had eaten something.

"Ah, you know me so well." The older smiled, gums showing and handing Youngjae a plate with the delicious looking treat. "It's pretty easy this time; just tell me if you're alright, considering Nayeon is not here."

Youngjae sighed, it has been the reason for inviting Yongguk over but somehow the younger boy didn't really feel like talking about the girl anymore, somehow having the strangely misplaced feeling of having talked about her too much already. Maybe not right now but Youngjae simply couldn't shake the feeling off.

"I think I am, though I felt kinda horrible when she just left yesterday." Youngjae said shortly and gulped, maybe afraid to hear Yongguks deep voice after saying it so straight forward.

"She did what? Are you kidding, please tell me you're kidding." The man said after a loud gasp left his lips and his fork was unceremoniously stabbed into a poor piece of pastel pink cake.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" The younger boy frowned, shoving the sweet slice from his plate behind his teeth

"Youngjae, you know I'm not good with stuff like that." Yongguk cooed, blinking his eyes in an apologetic manner. "But you're okay? Or do you need me to get blankets and catch you as you're throwing yourself dramatically onto me?"

Youngjae glared at him playfully, chewing on the last bit of cake remains in his mouth before leaning back a bit. "I'm okay, I'm good." He chuckled lowly, thankful for his friend that he's just the way he is. "Also, that would be more like Jaebum's and Junhong's task. Although Jaebum would have brought a home made cake." The boy smiled, lips casting downwards when he felt his shoulder being hit rather vigorously.

"Stop being so rude, at least I brought something." The older pouted, leading the smile from before to raise Youngjaes lips once again.

"Yeah, Junhong would've probably barged in and eaten the entire content of my fridge by the time he left." Youngjae joked, his younger friend being somewhat special. "You know, I think you'd like them, I gotta introduce you some day."

"You've been saying that since October." Yongguk laughed, eyes crinkling slightly as he stood up and grabbed their dirty dishes.

"I mean it, you'll like them." Youngjae mentioned, trailing to the sofa and grabbing one of the cushions which were still all crinkly from his attack maybe an hour ago, slumping down.

"Isn't that Junhong like, what, 18?" The older snorted, his fingers shivering from the cold water running over them.

"He's 19, which isn't much younger than me." Youngjae defended the younger blond, kicking Yongguk's sides when he tried to sit down next to him. "He's still taller than you and basically everyone else I know."

"Way to shatter my pride even more." Despite that, Yongguk smirked as he easily took Youngjae's mind off of the entire Nayeon thing. "So what did you do? Crying yourself to sleep just like in those horrible movies?" He asked, jokingly nudging the boy next to him, not letting him interrupt. "Or were you drinking so much wine that you passed out in your bathroom?"

"Neither of them, god, what are you thinking." Youngjae blurted, looking away when there was no denying it that his face was a little bit flushed.

"Yoo Youngjae, I've known you since you were eleven years old, you can't fool me, idiot." The older stated and grabbed Youngjae by his firm shoulders, pulling him back into his arm until he was able to catch a glimpse of those rosy cheeks. "I'm always right, so which one?"

"You're annoying hyung." The younger boy successfully freed himself out of the strong arms and managed to get his skin tone back to the even, milky color of his. "I was just in some bar."

Youngjae shielded his ears when hearing Yongguk holler loudly, bouncing on the sofa whilst clinging onto his arm. Sometimes he was wondering if Yongguk really was older than himself, behind that calm face of his lied that weird personality that not many were able to witness.

"Did you already get it on with someone new, damn Youngjae I didn't know you were like that." Yongguk laughed, easing the tension that has been settled in the younger ones chest for the last day. "So you probably woke up next to some really beautiful girl, ah, you're so cold hearted, just leaving her all alone in the early morning hours." He continued, placing his hand over his chest, sad expression glistening in his dark eyes but Youngjae could tell he wasn't serious, anyone would have been able to.

But Youngjae felt a little bit embarrassed, because well, he has woken up in a beautiful bed but the girl was missing and instead he found the young bartender sleeping soundly on the couch in the living room. The boy sighed, deciding that there was no hiding it in front of Yongguk and he started telling the other about the quite interesting night he had had.

"So to be clear, that guy was the bartender whose name you've forgotten but he had an incredible apartment despite working as a lousy bartender?" Yongguk questioned, lazily fiddling with the cushion he had claimed as his ("Youngjae, there are small rabbits on it!")

"You've grasped like ten percent of what I just said." The younger stated, lightly shaking his head.

"But that dude was rich. You should've asked him for his name, Youngjae." The man whined, wanting to experience the perks of hanging out with someone rich.

"It doesn't matter anyway." Youngjae said, resting back on the couch.

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It has been 3 weeks but I think some of you share my worries /high school/

But aw you guys are so adorable, this has gotten so many subs already and soo many comments for only 1 chapter, you're too sweet!

Please please leave comments and tell me what you thought or what you liked(disliked) I'm the happiest whilst reading your comments ^^