It did matter.

Youngjae noticed that the second he was left alone he couldn't help but think about regretting thanking the kind bartender. After all he could've ended on the streets, somewhere, passed out and oh he didn't want to think of anything worse, but believing there had to be some kind of protocol for handling intoxicated people. Thinking about it in that way made it even more difficult to understand. If there really is some sort of rule for bartenders then why was he brought to another ones home if the situation could have been handled a lot more distant?

The boy wouldn't have believed anyone if they'd said he would not enjoy Christmas this year, not only because of the sudden loneliness but because his mind didn't seem to stop running. A train of thoughts always, somehow brought him back to the extravagant apartment he had woken up in and Youngjae found himself not forgetting his troubles for once, not letting go for at least three days. But honestly, over thinking the entire thing just made it worse and worse and the student was growing frustrated as the seconds slowly passed.

The most permanent matter stuck in his head was desultory ridiculous but Youngjae could be laying on his bed and suddenly think about why the strangers apartment had been so clean. No glitter, no garlands, Christmas lights and not even a tree. The flat had been looking the complete opposite of festive and the boy couldn't help but feel sad about it. He could imagine the living room being plastered with red and green lights along the walls near the ceiling. He could imagine small candles standing on the window sill, lightening up the room just a small bit when it was getting late at night and the young man came home from his shift at the bar. He could imagine a huge, beautifully adorned Christmas tree, placed in the spacious living room, thin, slender fingers embellishing it with his most loved one.
But that obviously had not been the case and Youngjae was so embarrassingly desperate to know why because the entire idea was haunting him.

Had the other been spending Christmas alone too? As bad as it may sounds, Youngjae had found a small amount of comfort just grasping the concept that the world has indeed, not ended. Despite it being really wrong (Youngjae at least thought so), he was relieved to know that he wasn't the only one spending this time of the year alone. Of course he wasn't the only one, he knew that but it had been so much better to see it with his own eyes, yet Youngjae couldn't tell for real. And he really shouldn't bother, god he knew but why not seek some calmness from the uncertain. He tried to keep that mind set, his thoughts wandering back to the apartment from time to time in the lonely spend days between Christmas and New Years Eve and sometimes to the sleeping man on the couch.

Youngjae had expected it.
After telling all of his close friends of his break up with Nayeon; which was basically just him calling Jaebum and Junhong and getting comforting words through the line, the boy wasn't surprised when he found Jaebum standing in front of his door with a big grin on his face and soon strong arms were thrown over Youngjaes smaller frame. Jaebum left Goyang a little bit earlier than he'd thought was all Youngjae could get out of his friend, his sister being fine with her boyfriend. But really, he couldn't find himself being unhappy about it because Jaebum was his best friend and has been for years, meaning he was that person Youngjae would run to for everything.

They've met years back in elementary school and Jaebum has ever since been like an older brother to him. Youngjae was the short, fragile boy everyone found adorable but it didn't help him when he was enrolling in school because the boys would sometimes make fun of him and Jaebum was the first to tell them to stop or else he would call the teacher. And back then calling the teacher was a real thread so the other boys stopped picking on Youngjae and Jaebum just somehow stayed around. They just got along so well that a seven year old Youngjae wasn't surprised when the other boy told him just before they left for winter break that his birthday was coming up and Youngjae smiled excitedly, saying his was also really soon which lead them to the result that Jaebum was merely 20 days older than Youngjae. The younger had found it cool and was telling his mom the second he came home, smiling and talking about his new friend. On the other side, Jaebum always wanted to be called "Hyung" but Youngjae thought it was ridiculous because really, he wasn't much older and the boy never liked to refer to someone else as his Hyung, his brother being the only one he was comfortable enough to do so.

They once fought over that specific topic, some time around seventh grade when Youngjae was afraid of growing up and Jaebum accused the younger of not respecting him and not caring about their friendship. Youngjae would still say that this one week they didn't talk to the other had been the worst week in his time before high school. They never really fought, it was mostly Youngjae teasing the other about his funny looking hair when Jaebum had it cut extremely short or something likewise endurable for the older boy. Jaebum also just wasn't a person to pick a fight, he was too calm to do so and with every year added he grew more mature and his popularity raised when he and Youngjae enrolled in High School. Youngjae sure had to say that Jaebum was getting handsome and he never admitted that he had been jealous when the other got his first girlfriend before him. But despite being bitter about it, he was happy for his friend too because Jaebum never neglected him during his relationship that lasted one year. And when the older told him that he broke up with the girl, Youngjae tried his best to comfort him but couldn't help but feel guilty, thinking it was partly his fault because Jaebum never canceled their plans even when his girlfriend asked him to because she thought that he was spending more time with Youngjae than with her, which was the truth but Jaebum never wanted to admit it.

What Youngjae liked the best was that the never grew apart, even after they finished High School in different classes they still stuck to the other which gave their other friends a reason to call them "Stray Dogs". Jaebum didn't understand it at first but Youngjae had to smile at that, the others meaning that they both were like strays and the other was that one person that took the other under his wings. It was a beautiful metaphor.

And as cheesy as it sounds, Jaebum had insisted that they would get matching necklaces, knowing that Youngjae was quite the accessory fan. So one warm day in the summer before college, the older had dragged Youngjae into one of those small shops that were plastered all over the side streets near the center of the city to buy the necklaces and it took surprisingly long because Jaebum just couldn't decide and whined about Youngjae not being serious enough about it.

In the end they ended up with a small, round silver pane out of light metal with small engravings on them neither of the boys could decipher. But it was something that laid out their friendship and Youngjae always wore it, probably because Jaebum would kill him if he wouldn't but also because he wanted to cling onto it, kind of hoping that Jaebum would never disappear.

Youngjae was glad that he and Jaebum had decided to apply for the same college, it wasn't much of a topic after all they both had the same mayor. And after a year, neither of them drifted from the other, fallen leaves freezing over the cold months and flowers blooming until the hot sun seemingly wanted to burn them.

They were okay.

But at some point Youngjae thought- no, felt the coldness coming from Jaebum and the younger didn't know what he's done wrong, seeking help from someone more mature. But Yongguk didn't know either, guessing he was having trouble in some of his classes or family matters, but he didn't know the other boy so he couldn't have been sure.

The silence had died down the last summer, Jaebum apologizing that he's been so distant, some essays had held him back. Youngjae didn't believe him but he also didn't want the warm Jaebum to disappear again.

The only thing the older never seemed so fond of was Nayeon, he never showed it but Youngjae saw the harsh glances his best friend always gave his girlfriend and it worried him. He had tried to get Jaebum to come along with their friends when Nayeon was there too but the older always had a poor excuse to why he couldn't make it. It was weird, Youngjae thought. He had always agreed on the many girls Jaebum had dated, sometimes he didn't know what the older saw in them, some of them seemed a little... odd. But those kinds of relationships of Jaebums were mostly over in a week or a bit more and Youngjae didn't think about it anymore.

He couldn't bring himself to and so those were forgotten faster than one could see.

"Youngjae?" Jaebums smooth voice echoed from the floor, the young mans hands hovering above his face with his phone in them. Youngjae hummed in response, locking his own phone in progress and he peeked over the edge of the couch, glancing at the boy on the floor and waiting until he continued with what he had wanted to say.

"Remember that one time in our junior year, when Jinyoung introduced us to that Chinese dude?"

"You mean the exchange student who told us to call him Jackson instead of his birth name?" Youngjae asked, shuffling a bit on the sofa to get more comfortable.

"Exactly. I saw him a few days ago when I was out with Jihye and we talked a bit. Guess what." The older propped himself up on his elbows, looking up to Youngjae with a small sparkle in his eyes and a grin spread along his lips.

"I'm not guessing Jaebum, tell me." Youngjae groaned, rolling his eyes at how his friend was acting, actually wanting to know what they had talked about.

"Fine." Jaebum said, a bit of grumpiness behind the words at how boring Youngjae was. "He invited me - well us, basically everyone - to have some get together, said he stayed in touch with a few but it was probably only Jinyoung."

"Oh, is he staying in Korea?" The younger hummed, watching his friend shifting around on the floor.

"He's studying somewhere, not sure if he said in Seoul or elsewhere. How long did he stay in Jinyoungs class anyway?"

"For like a year, seriously how could you forget, he was around us all the time that year." Youngjae laughed, remembering Jackson clinging to Jinyoung the entire time which lead to them hanging out with the Chinese student every day as Jinyoung brought the boy into their group of friends.

"Yeah yeah, it was the year we weren't dying yet, senior year was hell." Jaebum whined, cringing at the memories he had made and tried to forget, most of them falling asleep with a book in his hands in the most ridiculous places.

"For you maybe, how are you even surviving college?" Youngjae smiled, his thoughts far away from his troubles for a short amount of time. He was glad that Jaebum had come.

"Not taking chemistry or physics was the best decision I ever made." Jaebum said, grinning proudly up to the younger boy who only frowned but was still smiling along with his friend.

"God you were so bad in those classes, I'm pretty sure every teacher we had in those thought you'd end up as a drop out." The younger started to laugh again, remembering the many times Jaebum was sent out of class because he was accused of distracting his friends and not paying attention, which wasn't too far from the truth.

"And now I can rub into their faces that I'm an English student, successfully in my third year and not a ing drop out. I swear they thought I was stupid just because I wasn't that good in those subjects."

"You weren't that good, Jaebum you nearly failed." Youngjae was now holding his stomach from laughing so much, watching the older sulk beneath him until he had to wipe at his eyes, water lingering under the brim and he didn't see Jaebum standing up. Not until his wrists were roughly grabbed and Youngjae started to scream when he was being tickled, he could only glance up to see Jaebum with a sadistic grin spread across his face.

"You were the one that was basically failing at everything sports related." Jaebum teased after he stopped attacking Youngjaes stomach, risking to be nearly kicked off from the couch but he was securely sitting a bit above the youngers knees, keeping himself there.

"Wasn't my fault, I was very small, I couldn't do anything against it." Youngjae whined, squirming under the weight of the older when his legs started to hurt. "Get off of me Jaebum!"

"You were such a cute kid but look where we are now." Jaebum sighed playfully, earning himself a harsh jolt coming from Youngjaes legs and he steadied himself the last second before falling off the couch. "That's what I mean, you're so rude and grumpy."

"Shut up and get off." Youngjae grunted, pulling his legs towards his chest and away from Jaebums heavy body only to feel nothing, his legs were numb. "Oh my god, you crushed my legs!" Jaebum dodged the fist that was aimed for his side and sprinted into the youngers bedroom, locking the door behind him.

"You're weak Yoo Youngjae." Was the only thing heard coming from the other room until silence occurred and Youngjae heaved himself up, quickly gaining back the feeling in his legs and running to find his keys from the drawer in the entrance corridor.

The next hours were spent with Youngjae trying to kill Jaebum, but in a nice way, both of them lying on the floor after not too long and then getting up to watch TV which lead to them talking more about their last years in school.

"I don't think I've done something nicer than this on New Years Eve, like ever." Youngjae sighed, shifting his feet around on his friends lap.

"Really?" Youngjae couldn't bother to lift his head but he saw Jaebum looking at him out of the corner of his eye, a big smile tracing the older ones lips.

"Yeah, it's nice to dig into old memories."

"You're right, but something even better is getting food. I don't want my last dish this year to be cereal."  Jaebum said with a light chuckle when he could feel his stomach literally begging for food, grabbing Youngjaes legs and heaving them off from his lap to stretch his own.

"We could go out and head somewhere for the last hours." Youngjae suggested, sitting up and rubbing his eyes willing his weariness away. "Oh, we could head to the bar I went the other day. I kind of have to apologize to someone."

Youngjae did talk to Jaebum about Christmas eve, he believed that he didn't let out the most important elements and so he might have forgotten to tell the older about the embarrassing encounter with the bartender. The boy didn't exactly know if the bartender would work today but considering the other had worked on Christmas eve if shouldn't be much of a misconception from his side. Youngjae knew if he wouldn't apologize he'd be feeling guilty until he was too worked up about exams to worry about it or even think about it, but the sting deep inside of his stomach would stay firmly rooted and it'd refuse to leave. As much as he would like to forget it, the boy couldn't simply wipe the memories away.

"To whom?" Jaebum asked, standing up to look at his best friend who was still sitting on the couch, an oversized white shirt hanging loosely over his broad shoulders and Jaebum could easily catch a glimpse of the younger boys collarbones but he quickly turned around to get his jacket, not noticing the confused look Youngjae was giving him.

"That's a little... embarrassing." Youngjae muttered under his breath, following Jaebum to dress himself for the freezing weather outside.

"Aw, come on. Tell me." As lightly as the sentence rolled off his tongue, Jaebum felt his muscles tense for a second but continuing to put on his jacket he tried not to let the other notice, Youngjae couldn't mean something bad, right? He would've told him.

"Just, you know when I told you I went drinking that day?" The younger mumbled, putting on his shoes to avoid Jaebums eyes.

"Yeah, and?"

"Well...One could say, I didn't wake up at home the other day." The boy stumbled over his own words as he slowly stood up to grab his keys and wallet from the closet, ready to head out but a firm hold on his wrist held him back.

"You can't just tell me something like that and expect me to tag along." Jaebum frowned, glaring at Youngjae until he realized he was still tightly holding onto the others wrist and he quickly pulled back.

"It's nothing, really." Youngjae voiced, cheeks blushing in the lightest hue of red. "I was too drunk so a bartender brought me back to his place."

Jaebum froze and Youngjae looked up to the older to find him staring with blank eyes, worrying the boy just a bit but the older soon broke out of his rigidity. The both of them stood still for a moment, Youngjae confused by the odd behavior of his friend until Jaebum broke the silence.

"He brought you to back to his place?" The older blurted, looking at Youngjae only to pull the smaller boy into his arms. "Oh my god, did he do something to you, are you hurt?" Jaebum caressed the younger ones hair, pulling him incredibly close whilst doing so.

"Uhm, Jaebum you're kinda, suffocating me." Youngjae choked, squirming in the tight grip his friend had him in.

"I'm sorry, I just-" Jaebum grabbed the younger ones shoulders, releasing him only to take a good look at Youngjae. "He didn't try anything funny?" Worry slipped through those words too easily, the emotion settling itself in Jaebums eyes.

"What, no. No one did anything to me. I woke up alone to find the guy sleeping on his sofa." Youngjae stated, removing the heavy hands from his shoulders. A sigh came from the older boy, clearly relieved by the other ones words but Youngjae couldn't quite figure what Jaebum was thinking about so he left it at that, shaking his head when he turned around to open the door. "So are you coming?"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me to change, this shirt is way too big." Youngjae groaned, tugging at the loose shirt.

"Seriously, you look fine, tight pants always make loose shirts look good." The older assured, digging into the meat in front of him to ignore the nagging boy who was sitting in the booth across him. They both decided that they shouldn't go anywhere too fancy, with Youngjae whining about his clothes and Jaebum saying he wasn't carrying money for one of the better restaurants in the city they chose a simple place not located in the center of Seoul where they'd eaten once or twice before.

"I don't look fine, this makes me look fat."

"Youngjae shut up and eat." Jaebum replied, glimpsing up to see Youngjae still playing with the hem of his shirt and so the older put his chopstick beside to tug ad the younger ones arm. "You haven't even finished your tteokgug. You look fine, don't worry about it."

"Nayeon always said-"

"Everything she said was stupid, you look good and most definitely not fat. Your pants are so tight, no one would assume you're fat by looking at your skinny legs and now eat." Jaebum stated, stern eyes practically demanding the younger boy to finish the soup in front of him.

The silence around them was rather awkward, Youngjae dipping into the soup and Jaebum picking at his meat. It has always been a heavy matter in the past when Nayeon would tell Youngjae to lose weight. As many time Jaebum told him not to, Youngjae started dieting on accord with his girlfriend. Sometimes it was better and other times worse but Jaebum never had anything in hand when it came to his friends relationship and when the other boy wanted change himself for Nayeon then he shouldn't interfere, but nevertheless it wasn't only hard on Youngjae. His friend didn't like to see how slim the younger boy was getting, his veins prominent on the back of his hands and his cheeks hollow. The black shock of hair was in high contrast to the fair color of his skin and rosy eyelids that seemed to be tired for most of the day. It was always a wave of relief when Youngjae started to eat again, when his cheeks slowly started to be rounder again and when his skin took a healthier color. But the boy was never not thin. Youngjae gained muscles from working out with friends over the summer but his body failed at gaining fat and Jaebum couldn't help but worry from time to time. But Youngjae was able to take care of himself and the situation was avoided most of the time, Jaebum feeling a little helpless but the younger boy was stubborn.

"Which bar where you visiting that day?" Jaebum asked, easing the tension that has built itself in between them. Youngjae shifted on the booth, raising his head in surprise from hearing the other ones voice so suddenly slicing through the silence.

"It was one close to the city, "Concept" or something." The younger answered, hoping that Jaebum wouldn't be asking too many questions as he still felt quite embarrassed about it.

"Are you sure, because a girl in my literature class was there after school ended and she told me she found her ideal type in one of the bartenders. Not just one but in all of the bartenders." Jaebum laughed, remembering when his friend frantically texted him on how she never wanted to leave the bar again because all of the boys working there were utterly handsome and she swore she'd never seen anything so pleasant to her eyes.

"Well I think I'm sure. The only bartender I remember was very talkative but he looked kind of good, I guess? He was handsome." Youngjae voiced, the dark haired man still in his memory but the words he spoke about alcohol completely vanished from his mind.

"And your knight in shining amour, how'd he look?" The older teased, a grin on his lips as they both grabbed their belongings and headed out.

"Are you seriously interested or are you only annoying me?"

"Very interested, I need to know how he looks so I can look out for the right person." Jaebum claimed, smiling along and Youngjae didn't notice the bitterness hiding behind those words.

"Well, he had black hair and seemed around my height and age? I mean he was laying on the sofa I don't know, and he had really thick lips, that's what I remember." The younger said, glad that the skies have turned into a deep dark blue to hide the small blush that was forming on his cheeks, it was weird describing someone you've been watching in their sleep. Youngjae seriously regretted doing that, just for the sake of sparing him feeling ashamed every time someone asked about it which had happened way too many times already (in his mind).

"Okay, good to know." The older hummed, keeping silent for the rest of their walk to the bar.

Youngjae started to feel nervous, out of no reason at all because he only had to thank the bartender and everything would be over, he never had to visit the bar again. But something inside his gut made his hands slightly shaky and his mind was gathering too many thoughts at once, making the time pass by too quickly and he cursed at Jaebum in his head for knowing Seoul all too well when they arrived at the bar. The older glanced over and opened the door, entering the heated room and Youngjae could feel a sense of nostalgia hitting him. He lead his friend to the counter, glad that there weren't too many people up until now but they'd probably gather with time, young crowds celebrating the New Year with amounts of alcohol until only half of them could even remember the night.

"Youngjae!" A raspy voice called out and in a matter of seconds Himchan was standing on the other side of the counter, a big smile plastered over his face. "It's been a week, I see you've brought a friend." The older stated, eyeing Jaebum from head to toe until he shifted his attention back to the younger.

"Yeah, it's been a while. I'm still not too fond of alcohol." Youngjae said, glancing around the room noticing Himchan must be the only one serving at the moment.

"I see, but you came back so what can I get you two?"

"Actually, I'm looking for the bartender that brought me home last week. I wanted to thank him." The boy conveyed, shifting his weight over, trying to sneak glances behind the counter.

"Oh, Daehyun?"

Youngjaes mind clicked. The boy nodded.

"The boy's not working today, he's in Busan with his family. But I can deliver him a message if you want." Himchan suggested, regarding the boy shifting nervously in front of the counter.

"Could you thank him for me? It was very kind of him to take care of me like that."

Heart beating.

"Sure, no problem. You really don't want to stay?" Himchan inquired.

Youngjae shook his head.

"We'll be heading out, thank you so much."

In no time the two were out of the bar and Youngjae exhaled deeply, earning a confused look from Jaebum who had been silent for the past minutes.

"Let's go." Youngjae sighed, relief spreading in his chest.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(okay I know Jaebum doesn't have siblings but nvmd)

I'm so sorry this took so long :c

I had a very serious writers block, exams coming up and I was at the hospital// I'm sorry I usually don't take that long~

I was quite sad the second chapter didn't receive any comments, please do leave some or I think no one actually likes it

Pretty please (=^‥^=)