out of fear, i hold my breath. through a hole in the closet, i see a silhouette entering the bedroom. i cannot see his face through the darkness. my heart seems to jump out of my chest, i’ve never felt so scared. am i dreaming, and is this just a nightmare? the person throws my blankets from my bed, as if he expected someone to be in it. “he’s not here,” he sighs to another person.

with the door open, some light sheds on them. they’re both dressed in dark cloaks as if they came from the previous century. but how am i related to them? are they my enemies? many unanswered questions float through my mind, but there’s no time to think about it. suddenly i realize i’m still carrying my phone in my hand. i quickly send chanyeol a message.

the strangers are having a conversation, when one suddenly stops talking. “you smell that, junmyeon?” one asks the other. what could it possibly be, the dirty laundry under my bed? my heart stops when i see them moving to the closet. my eyes are tightly closed, as i beg god to not let them come near me.

“he’s here,” i hear a voice saying, before the closet is pulled open. i’ve never felt so helpless. my eyes are still closed, still hoping it’s just a nightmare. “we’re on your side,” an unfamiliar voice whispers. i slowly open my eyes and notice the lights are . in front of me, there’s a pale man who’s wearing a dark cloak. a long scar is drawn in his neck.

“trust us,” he shows a faint smile. i don’t feel like distrusting him, but i’m not a person who easily believes one. so i stubbornly remain in the closet. the pale man smiles and mutters something to the other person. the second man is dressed similarly. “i’m yixing,” the first man sheepishly says. he gives his friend a poke. “i’m junmyeon,” the other one tells me. but what am i with their names, i need to know why they are here? but i remain silent.

“we saved you, well actually yixing did,” junmyeon responds my not-outspoken question. his answer makes nothing clear, it wakes up more confusion. “saviors?” i question curiously. yixing takes a seat on my bed. “the accident you inexplicably survived,” junmyeon begins a story which brings up a forgotten past.

months ago

“we must hurry, yixing. the hybrids may emerge anytime,” i warn yixing who’s the blood out of a squirrel. the animal lifelessly stares into the distance. i’d almost pity it, however animals are the least barbaric way to survive. yixing wipes the blood from his face, and digs a hole in the ground.

“yixing, we have no time for this sentimentality,” i may sound harsh, but time waits for no one. moreover, the hybrids can’t discover our traces. yixing ignores me and buries the squirrel. “we need to arrive before the dawn,” i remember him for the last time. i know how yixing despises his vampire nature, just like me. perhaps our hidden disgust is what brought us together. i give him an encouraging pat, and we make our way through the forest. “it’s okay,” i break the silence.

“just leave it,” he answers, quickening his pace. i try to pass him, but he’s too fast. i can see his shadow in the distance. out of breath, i arrive beside him. “why did you stop running?” my question is answered when i look up. a highway is in front of us, which we didn’t expect at all. “the last time we were here, it was still wooded here,” i’m bothered when the plan goes a different way. yixing doesn’t seem disturbed, and crosses the road. “come on, junmyeon. there’s hardly anyone on…” his words are interrupted when a car appears out of the dark. i still manage to pull him back.

“are you out of your mind?” i yell, realizing i could lose yixing by his dumb action. “someone could run over you!” yixing stares in front him. is he even listening? “am i not immortal?” he faintly smiles. i know we’re the only ones who hate it to be a vampire. we see it as a dreadful curse, while other seem to be proud of their brutal lifestyle. yixing and i travel from city to city and we try to live as human as possible. even though i know him the best, he never mentioned his past life. i don’t even know how he died.

“yixing, we need to get to the others. unseen!” yixing’s sweat shines on his forehead. i hope he’s not having a panic attack. at times, yixing is extremely emotional and i hope it isn’t now. in this manner the hybrids will discover our traces and thus find our headquarter. yixing remains quiet. i drag myself behind him. “yixing, stay near,” my words aren’t even cold when i get to hear what i feared the most.

the honking of a car. my hand goes through my hair, not knowing what to predict. out of sudden a human scream echoes through the forest. “no,” a hoarse cry comes out of my mouth. as i look down the road, i can just witness the fatal crash. the car is folded up against a tree. “,” i cuss under my breath. yixing has done this? “yixing!” i scream loudly. i catch a glimpse of him. he’s unharmed, only some scrapes on his cheeks. his eyes are glued on the crushed car. i’m aware that there will be blood, but i learned how to control my desire.

the scene i see, makes me shiver. the human is clamped between the door and his face is drenched in blood. the crash seemed to have no mercy on his body, since i can’t find an uninjured place. in this condition, he can’t be saved no matter what. i take my phone to call the emergency number and report the accident.

after that, i drag the lifeless body out of the car. tears are streaming down yixing’s cheeks. “i killed him,” he realizes. yixing needs to learn how to move on and that’s impossible when he’s so quiet about his past. i’m afraid the vampires would force him to turn off his feelings. “yixing, hurry,” i turn around to the most unexpected.

yixing’s eyes are flaming red and his fangs are biting through the victim’s neck. the blood is flowing out of the wound. “monster! how could you?” i sprint towards him and with all my strength i push him from the human. i crudely grab him by the neck. “you already killed him, how dare you to act like the others?” i have to stop myself from crying. i never thought yixing would do drink his blood. he now grabs me by the neck. “i saved him!” he shouts desperately. i step to the corpse and realize what yixing did. “no way,” i hope from the bottom of my dead heart, he didn’t break one of the most important rules in the clan. “i bit him, junmyeon.”

hours later

“we arrived,” i announce as i look up to the victorian mansion. our abode can’t be noticed between the oaks and beeches. moreover, this forest is enchanted and thus protected from the world. “let’s go,” i smell yixing’s neck for the umpteenth time. the scent of vampire and human blood cannot be smelled by the other, or they will ask questions. i’ve known the clan for years, yet i don’t feel at ease around them. they’re more powerful than yixing and i together, since they drink human blood.

yixing seems calmed down. even though he broke our law, i can understand his choice of turning the human into a vampire. it’s not that we abandoned the human. we waited for the ambulance behind the bushes. the doctors are probably facing a dilemma right now, since the heart rate of the victim will weaken by the minute. we even planned to go to the hospital.

“i wonder why the clan wants us to unite, maybe just like last time,” i joke, remembering the last meeting which revolved a discussion about a new carpet. yixing chuckles. but once we face the door, our laughter fades away. “home sweet home,” yixing’s sarcasm is fatal. my hands are shaking when i turn in the key, and open the door. the house seems quiet.

out of sudden, we hear footsteps on the stairs. i look up to the most feared vampire in this house. “fellows, how great to see you again,” kris wu’s smirk can be defined as imminent and beautiful at once. “it has been a while,” yixing says and we enter the living room. it strikes me that the old furniture has been replaced by a contemporary décor. “change is always a good idea, isn’t?” kris winks as he gestures to us to sit. how could i forget he reads minds? “i’m going to get the others,” he speaks before leaving the room.

“he seems changed,” i whisper to yixing. kris used to be aggressive and closed, now he almost seems friendly. yixing shrugs, inconclusive. i decide to ignore him and observe the interior. a familiar painting covers the wall. “it’s a talal,” yixing answers my thoughts. how could i forget, it’s the painting i gave yixing for his birthday.

the silence between us gets disturbed by the other vampires. “yixing, junmyeon!” luhan embraces me warmly. his face has gotten some masculinity, such as sharper jaws. “good to see you,” yixing smiles. i know luhan is important to him, since they’re both chinese. minseok brotherly pats my shoulders. “you’ve changed,” he claims as he babbles about me looking tired. am i the only one feeling estranged from the vampires? they’ve changed, in a good way though. i was expecting their disapproving looks, since they don’t respect our decision of leaving the clan.

“where’s kris?” i ask, disrupting the conversation. a mischievous smirk plays on luhan’s face. “probably busy with his new sweetheart,” minseok explains shortly. kris, that heartless bastard, has someone? at that moment, kris enters the room. his shirt half-buttoned and followed by an unknown figure with sharp eyes. “this is tao,” kris tells as he orders the stranger to sit down. luhan places wineglasses on the table and minseok pours out a whiskey bottle.

“i’ve asked you to come today since i have to share bad news,” kris begins, and sips his whiskey. i gaze at yixing who’s nervously sipping from his glass. even luhan and minseok don’t seem to know what kris is trying to tell. only the stranger tao is calm, as if he’s already aware of the news. he’s probably the kris’ new flirt. in that sense, i now notice his unclosed pants and messy hair.