“Are you feeling better?” Hoseok asked as they plopped down under the tree comfortably. Sooji nodded as she took out 2 packs of orange juice and handed one to Hoseok.

“Better than the last few weeks but I know I would not be able to make it.” There was a dead silence as she finished her sentence. Everyone knew she would not be able to recover but Sooji was so chill about dying. Most people are scared of death but she isn’t. How can she say it so easily?

“People are born to die, Hoseok,” She said as if she was reading his mind, “mine just happened to be early.”

As he pierced the straw through the orange juice box, Sooji took out a small notepad from her pocket and handed it to Hoseok. “Look,” she said, “I’m gonna live the rest of my life to the fullest.”

Hoseok took the pink notepad from her hands and studied it. Her handwriting is messy and abstract which left some words unreadable, but he likes it that way. He noticed it’s a list, even though there are no bullet points of any headers written, but some sentences and words were already ticked. Then it hit him.

It’s her bucket list.

He looked up at her who was anticipating some words from him.

“What?” She asked as Hoseok was staring at her with eyes colder than seconds ago, “I know it’s not complete but that’s what I had in mind. I’m thinking of doing the simplest one first today.” She said those with such anticipation and happiness that made his heart burn even more. He was upset.

“How is this living your life to the fullest?” Hoseok asked her, “You did this because you’re just waiting to die, Soo. You can’t do this.” He was close to seeing red. How could she prepare to die? How could she prepare to leave her loved ones?

“Well,” Sooji took a deep breath. She knows it’s going to be exhausting having the need to explain. “Ever since I got this stupid cancer, I can’t do what I want to do and I got my teenage days taken away from me. Whether I die or not, I still want to do these things. I don’t want to die, Seok. I want to live.

“I know it seems really cliché that all those who die made bucket list before they die but it’s because when I’m restricted to the machines, I won’t be able to do these things. When I’m gone, I wouldn’t be able to know what it feels like to experience things that normal people do.

“I want to be normal for once. And I want to do it with you.”

Hoseok was almost hysterical as he heard that, he wasn’t sure if he heard right. “I’m sorry. What?”

“I said I want to do it with you.”

“Is that a question?”

“Sorry,” Sooji laughs and cleared , “I’ll rephrase that. Will you be able to be my partner and help me achieve the things in my bucket list?”

And Hoseok found no means to say no.

●

At night, he found himself on the same spot near the tree with Yoongi’s o