“I’m sorry.”

Both of them uttered at the same time, suprising each other. Ryeowook managed a soft laugh, wiping away the tears that had fallen across his cheeks. Kyuhyun took a step closer and pulled Ryeowook into his embrace, resting his chin on Ryeowook’s head as Ryeowook hid in the crook of his neck.

“I’m the one who should be sorry, Ryeowook.” Kyuhyun whispered against Ryeowook’s soft locks. “I’m sorry, beautiful.”

They stayed that way for a long time, both of them holding each other close. Kyuhyun thought back of the fight they had earlier and he closed his eyes. He was so stupid and selfish. How could he have hurt Ryeowook with his words and actions? Ryeowook was the only person right now that he needed, Ryeowook was the only one who bothered to keep him grounded but yet there he was hurting Ryeowook’s feelings. He was ashamed of himself. He was furious with himself. But most of all, Kyuhyun’s heart ache as he remembered seeing Ryeowook wipe his cheeks when he got back to the dorm after leaving him to take a breather.

Yes. Kyuhyun admitted that he was miserable after his parent’s death. He lived life with a sense of loss, constantly feeling helpless, bitter and alone. Kyuhyun wanted to do something, just anything that could help him get over their death. He tried to push away memories of them, he tried hurting himself to get rid of the pain, he tried drinking all his sorrow away and he tried smoking all the feelings away but nothing seemed to work. It was like Kyuhyun was destined to always feel this way, to feel lost and crushed.

More than anything, Kyuhyun wanted to find the people who killed his mother and father. Every time he thought about his parents, he would think of how they had died. They were murdered and Kyuhyun wanted to know who those bastards were. He wanted them to pay, he wanted justice. He wanted to find them for closure so that he could get on with life and start to live a normal life, start to live his normal life again. Kyuhyun hired a private detective with all of the money his parents had left him. There was nothing else to do anyway with that much amount of money. It was better if he found the people who killed his parents and made them pay in the worst way possible; A life for a life. He wanted the people who killed his parent dead. There was no denying about that, neither was there any doubt. 

When Ryeowook found out, he was crushed. Kyuhyun didn’t understand why at first and he was enraged. Ryeowook wouldn’t understand him, no one would unless they were going through what he was going. But after walking away from Ryeowook, the images of Ryeowook’s crying face haunted him and he felt immediately guilty. Ryeowook, of all people, didn’t deserve such harsh comments like that. But as bad as Kyuhyun felt towards his best friend, Kyuhyun was not going to abort his mission of finding his parents murderers, he had set his mind about this ever since he received the call from sister about his parents being shot that night.

“I should have talked to you about it before lashing out,” Ryeowook said, looking up at Kyuhyun with innocent eyes. “I’m sorry too.”

“You’ve been having such a hard time lately and I haven’t been there to guide you through your loss.” Ryeowook said dolefully.

Kyuhyun took a deep breath and then exhaled, find it so painful for his heart to stay intact at the thought of having a conversation about the loss of his mother and father. He pulled Ryeowook close, “You’ve done everything you could, beautiful.”

Ryeowook shook his head and sighed, “Why didn’t you tell me about hiring a private detective?”

“I know you wouldn’t let me.”

Ryeowook thought this over and then nodded, “I probably wouldn’t have.”

Kyuhyun half-smiled at his best friend, “Thought so.”

“But since when has my opinion ever stopped you from telling me important stuff?” Ryeowook questioned, raising his brows. “You tell me everything even if I don’t like it. That’s one of the reason why I love you so much. You’re honest and straightforward, you’ve been so ever since we first met.”

Kyuhyun’s heart skipped a beat. Immediately, he released his hold on Ryeowook and awkwardly stepped away from his best friend who looked at me questioningly. Kyuhyun begun pacing the room as he nibbled on his bottom lip nervously.

There it was again, that feeling as if something sparked in him whenever he was with Ryeowook. It had been going off for some time now and Kyuhyun was worried about it. He knew what this feeling was, he knew that it was attraction and love. He felt these sparks with his past lovers. But what confused him was that why was he suddenly getting those damn sparks for Ryeowook, his best friend?

When Kyuhyun discovered that he might be having feelings for Ryeowook, feelings that were… Not platonic, Kyuhyun did his best to avoid Ryeowook. He had to figure out what was going on and why he was feeling the way he did with Ryeowook. But one afternoon, when he caught sight of Ryeowook and his friend, Donghae walking alongside each other in the school park, realization dawned upon Kyuhyun. All this time with Ryeowook, Kyuhyun had been in love with his best friend. The second Kyuhyun first saw Ryeowook, he had already fallen for him. He gave Ryeowook the nickname not because of how the boy looked physically. No, he gave Ryeowook the name beautiful because falling in love was beautiful. Falling in love with Ryeowook at first sight felt pure, emotional and raw.

Ryeowook was right. Kyuhyun was a straightforward person. He never beat around the bush, Kyuhyun felt like it was a waste of time. But this…. This was different. If Kyuhyun told Ryeowook how he really felt about him then it would risk their friendship. What if Ryeowook told him that he didn’t have the same feelings? Worst, what if Ryeowook told him that he was secretly dating Donghae? Kyuhyun wouldn’t be surprised if he was. That guy had been flirting with him ever since they first met. Frustrated, Kyuhyun rain a hand through his hair and sighed.

“I need to know something first,” Kyuhyun stated and then take a deep breath to calm himself when Ryeowook nodded. “Are you… Are you in love with Donghae?”

Ryeowook tilted his head in confusion. “Donghae? What does this have to do with him?”

“Just … Humour me.”

“No, I’m not in love with Donghae.” Ryeowook shook his head and then swallowed hard, “But… I am in love with someone else.”

Kyuhyun’s heart dropped as he stood frozen in place and whispered in disbe