5..4..3..2..1

And the rain starts pouring down..

Here with you now I’m good, still miss you
I don’t know what I can do, we can’t be true

It was raining too when the first time we officially met. At your fiancé’s, my best friend homecoming party, I thought you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, always were always will.

We didn’t talk much that night, you were busy being paraded by him like you’re his winning trophy, while me, doing what I usually did during those kinds of gathering, sitting alone at the corner of the room, enjoying my cold beer. That’s my real intention anyway, to get free drinks other than of course, showing my face to my friends. But somehow our eyes would always found each other.

This distance between us won’t ever be fulfilled
It tears my heart every time it shrinks

After that, we never got in touch, our life just went as it supposed to be, then one day our path crossed once again.

“ you!” one of the girl I’ve been seeing couldn’t accept the fact that, well, she bores me, so she got mad, threw her drink on me and in the end, I’m all wet and sticky. You were there, watching the whole scene and approached me only when Sojin, or was it Yeojin? Hyejin? Anyway, after that girl left.

The overflowing emotions just grow stronger
Uh It’s hard for me to say

“Looks like you had fun” was what you told me the moment you took the seat the other girl occupied before.

I smirked “I’m wet, as you can see, of course I had fun” matching your sarcasm. You didn’t say anything after that, sipping your favorite iced Americano instead “For what occasion do I get this honor to have a fair lady as yourself, to come and sit with me whom in such, unpleasant situation?”

“Nothing special, just came here to say hi, you’re after all one of my fiancé’s best friend” you told me casually “So I thought, it won’t hurt if I’m trying to get into my fiancé’s friends good book, right?” you were so blunt, I wish you are about some other matters.

“Speaking of your beloved fiancé, where’s he?”

‘Cuz we, we can see how it’s going to end
But I got my love for you
If I could only just forget you..

“Where he always are” you answered me shortly, rather coldly I wondered why but I didn’t need a long time to find the answers. Not long after you said “Let’s get you changed” and dragged me away, back to your apartment.

It just happened that day. No reasons why, its simply why not, when we ended up on your bed few hours later, .

I couldn’t help but to laughed at our situations that day.

“What are you laughing at?” you asked me as you passed me the cigarette we shared, blowing some smoke from that sweet lip of yours.

“You, me and this ed up situations we’re in?” I let her lay her head on my chest, encircling her arms around my waist, snuggling onto me tightly.

“What about it?”

I snort, can’t believe she’s so cool about this “I’m ing my best friend fiancé and it’s just couple of months away before you guys will get officially married” she just hummed “You’re not going to consider what I ask you the other day, are you?” the question made her leave my bed then get dressed, I sighed “Where are you going? Get back to bed Krys”

The more I think something like that, I know that it’s not possible for me to forget you
We always wish tonight could last forever
I can be your side

“I have dinner with my family and his” she said without sparing any glance to me, so I walked out of the bed and stopped her from getting back to dress completely by hugging her from behind.

“Its still hours away from dinner time” I kissed her shoulder up to her neck, deeply inhaling her intoxicating sweet body scent “You still have a lot of time Krystal, please?”

“Can we not talking about that?” she asked me firmly, I sighed, but agreed anyway, I mostly were.

But sometime I didn’t.

And when I didn’t, we’d end up with an argument “I just don’t understand why did you always had to kept talking about that? Way to ruin the mood Amber” she snapped as she harshly put her dress back on.

“Is it wrong for me to ask you where do I stand in your life? Because for sake, I’m confused Krys” she glared at me, in another circumstances I would find her glares y and alluring, but not this once “You don’t want me to see someone else, you forbid me to meet my friends at the club if its not with you which means, you with your fiancé. You act like we don’t know each other well in front of him and then the next day you came to me and you expect that I’ll be okay after we had ? I am not your toys Krystal!”

She glared, shouts “ you!” at me then she stormed off out of my apartment.

That happened once in awhile, but it will always me, who’d come to meet her and showed her that I’m sorry first. Not much words being shared we kissed each other desperately, stripped each other clothes in a rush then made love.

I shouldn’t be in your heart
Either the time we have spent

Love, is it even legit to call this love?

It’s two night before her wedding day, and around midnight, she managed to sneak out of her family house and went to my apartment.

Again we had then we’re just laying on bed with our own thoughts running in our mind. As usual, she has her head on my chest, her arms around my waist and she’d snuggle onto me tightly. I kissed her forehead then continue to gently rub her back.

That’s when suddenly she gave me the answers of what my heart and mind been questioning for.

And I want you to know what the truth is
But sometimes it makes me feel so sick, oh no
I just can’t say to you, No I won’t

“Honestly, when I first came to you after we met at his homecoming party, it was pure lust” she started “The second time, the third, its all lust. I didn’t know if you remembered, but we’ve met before, once, in my friend’s party. We did it once then I went home, and got engaged. I doubt you’d remember though”

“Black mini dress with black killer heels, very contrast with your flaming red hair, but suitable with your red blood lips, I remember” she looked at me, surprised.

“Since when? How?” she asked me curious.

“Our first time, technically second, from your body scent” I answered her honestly “I expected to see you again after that night. That would be the first time ever that I’m sure I’ve made mistakes not to asked your number even name”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

‘Cuz we, we can see how it’s going to end
But I got my love for you
If I could only just forget you..

I smiled “Would you not marry him, if I did?” she mum “Then it wouldn’t matter if I told you, right?”

“You know I couldn’t, you know I had to” she said after few minutes of silence. I know. For all that society, fortunes and family pride .

“I always hope the time we were together will last forever” was the last words being said that night, by her, before we fell into a deep silent. None of us could go to sleep that night, until she had to go back home.

Love, is this what love supposed to be? Even if it is, I have no will to confess and confirmed it. What for?

5..4..3..2..1

With a sad song played in my car’s radio, I drove away far, far away from where my heart belongs, no matter how much each distance I made between me and you would pierced me deeply. .

Whatever tomorrow will brings, let it come..

Can I ever love again?
Would I be able to call that happiness from the bottom of my heart?
Yes, we always wish tonight could last forever
I can be your side..

But for now, as I wrote in a note for her, under a small box with a ring inside that I bought for her, as her wedding gift “Goodbye..”

After all, love isn't always meant forever my friend..

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I have no idea how hard it is to start writing again after so long, but as promised i made to a bacon kid!One-shot angst,coming right at you,pardon for all mistakes and probably confusions, its my intention to write it this way, you might want to listen to the song, it's good, see you around some other time ^_^