Chapter 3

Jessica’s onyx eyes stare back at Taeyeon, intense and unblinking. Jessica has onyx irises? Since when? Taeyeon’s lips move, but no words come out, only the empty shapes of unvoiced characters at the tip of her tongue. She stares in shock as Jessica melts, a look of amusement on her face as she turns into a puddle of clear water.

You. Melted. Me.

“Taeyeon.” her ghostly voice calls out mockingly.

“Taeyeon.”

Something feels wrong. Taeyeon looks around, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands as she turns around, observing the white background. Everything is so bright, the glare of the sun, or at least she thinks it’s the sun, blinding her.

A shake.

“Taeyeon.”

The world spins and only the blinding luminescence remain. It takes a couple of seconds for her eyes to adjust. She’s in a green room that smells like mould and stale green tea. Yuri’s room? As far as she recalled, Yuri’s room was the brightest in the whole dormitory, with peeling green wallpaper and the one with the most . For those who are wondering, having such a luminous and moudy room isn’t a good thing.

Finally, she can see muddle of a blur to her left. Yuri with her usual blatant face. Where is Tiffany? A heartache pangs her heart. It’s probably only been a couple of hours since her spiritual encounter with her best friend, but she already misses her.

Why did you have to leave me behind.

Taeyeon dismisses her pining-for. Yearning is not a stranger, she shouldn’t be surprised at losing another member. Nor should she feel such responsibility towards them.

“Awake al–”

“.” she exclaims, covering in shock that she had actually thought that way. Feeling the loss of someone is normal, she should never say that. Especially since its related to Tiffany’s departure.

Yuri gawks openly at the leader, her face surprised by the sudden intrusion. The sudden inappropriate intrusion. “Excuse me?”

Realizing that she cussed out loud in front of her fellow member, Taeyeon blushes a rich shade of red, a ruby sort of color. “Sorry.”

The corners of Yuri’s lips twitch, a smile pressing to be shown. Knowing how she normally is– she’s a gangster, the one who cusses and acts in an immature way that will get other people cracking up in laughter. Approval glints in her eyes as she eyeballs Taeyeon, her head resting on her right arm as she sits in a masculine pose.

“Yuri approves.”

Taeyeon laughs for the first time in days, her body heaving for another reason than sobbing and sulking. She feels free, like a bird being unchained after thirteen years. The last time she had laughed was the day Tiffany had her car accident. She can see it clearly, both of them laughing about how Sunny looked like a tomato head on their latest photoshoot, and both giggling, or more accurately (much more accurately), gagging on their pumpkin spice lattes.

Then it happened.

She wasn’t aware of what occurred next after she had received the news, only that she had taken it badly. Her phone fell, shattering the display and cracking the aluminium. Piece of ‘priceless’ crap. But that was how she felt, shattered and cracked, her life slipping away from her grasp, into the hands of something dark. A Shade? Maybe they’re real.

“Earth to Taeyeon?” Yuri waves her hand in front of Taeyeon’s face. Face crinkled in curiosity and worry. “You drift off… a lot.”

“Sorry.”

Is this the only thing she can do? Drift off while others talk. Taeyeon sighs, lately, she’s been tripping all over the past again. Reminiscing what’s left to process, as much as she loathes going into her memory. Sometimes, things that have happened should be left untouched, not forgotten, just jostled to the back of a mind; it shouldn’t be thought too much about.

Yuri snorts. “Seriously, stop apologizing.”

“Don’t say sorry again.” she says quickly, just in case if Taeyeon feels the need to squeeze out another apology.

Taeyeon shrugs and sinks deeper into the sweat immersed mattress. It’s so hot in the room, hot and humid. How much longer does Girls’ Generation have to live in this place? Until they get thrown off to the streets; living in this place is better than having to scrounge for cardboard boxes to stay warm.

“So,” Yuri pauses, thinking twice before continuing uncertainly. “You were muttering Jessica’s nam