News of his officaial date of enlistment into the military has gone out.

Oh I can hear the ELFs’ cry from where I was sitting.

For the past week, when the date of his birthday and enlistment was just around the corner, I noticed the people around me started eyeing me with concern. I don’t know if they really do or I was just imagining things. But they kept asking me if I was OK. OK? OK with what?

Of course I’m OK, I’m busy, tadaah!

“Hey Dara, it’s me, gwenchana?”  Bom called.

“Bommie, please don’t ask me that question, of course I will say I am OK, I have to be Ok, right?” I said in a sad but irritated tone.

“Oh girl, you want me to come over now?” Bommie sensing my emotion asked.

“No Bommie, you don’t have to, I’ll be OK. I promise.”

“You sure?” she doubted.

“Yeah, you know me, I won’t call anybody but you.” I replied in assurance.

“Call me for anything, OK? Bye..” She hanged up.

Ahh what a friend, concerning herself over me when she was actually the one on hiatus, “reflecting” as they say. She has her own problems to deal with but she was asking if I’m OK..

I turned and looked at my reflection on the mirror, am I really OK?

With a heavy sigh, I dropped my tired body on the bed and my thoughts naturally wandered to this person.

“Lee Donghae.”

I started to sob. Here I am alone with myself again, crying for the love let gone.

It’s been 2 or 3 months?  But it felt so much like it just happened yesterday.

That fateful night, in his apartment, what have you done Darayah?

Flashback..

It started out as a romantic night.  In a rare occasion that he has a day off, I bravely went to his apartment just to spend time with him before he goes to another country for a concert.

We had dinner. I was so sorry I did not bring any food and I could not cook either. So we just cooked and shared a ramen.

But it did not matter at all, what is important is that we were in each other’s presence.

Silently we ate. Looking at each other from time to time. Smiling.

He was in front of me, I was hearing his voice and seeing him, touching him, feeling him at the same time.

I was happy. 

But then I have this gnawing feeling that I just couldn’t push aside.

I realized, I was happy and lonely at the same time.

I miss him. I miss him every second that he is not with me.

How I missed him so much when I am not seeing him or hearing his voice.

And it was sapping me of energy.

As a couple, given the line of work that we’re in, we don’t have the liberty to freely express our feelings even if we wanted to.