004. Rule #3: He’s the Kim Heechul, he can apologize however he wants.

(A/N: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a507jISnumU put this on repeat ! i'll give another soundtrack later hehe )

I stood beside Ryeowook as he tried to wake up the sleeping members. Leeteuk and Kyuhyun were both awake so that left only 7 members to wake up.

Ryeowook suggested that we wake Heechul up last and I agreed. Maybe we had different reasons in mind but thank god great minds think alike.

“Jongwoon hyung! Wake up!” Ryeowook shouted.

“Mmmuhgj..” Yesung grumbled and then turned his back to us. I laughed and Ryeowook tried again.

“Hyung, Ddankkoma (A/N Yesung’s turtle for those that are wondering; but I don’t know if it’s still his pet? Inform me~!) is drowning!”

“WHAT? NOT MY BABY!” Yesung shot up and his eyes opened wide.

Then he peered suspiciously at Ryeowook’s accomplished smile. “Wait, turtles can’t drown.”

Ryeowook bent over laughing.

“WOOKIE! You’re such a liar. And I was having this great dream about pancakes~ although none of us know how to make it.”

“Well you’re in luck, hyung. Jae Mi made pancakes this morning!”
”Jae Mi?” he paused and thought. Then his eyes lit up.

“OH! JAE MI! I was thinking why Ryeowook had a girl with him. He never gets the girls, it’s always me that has the fans’ hearts.”

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Shindong was easier to wake up that Yesung. Maybe it’s because Ryeowook pulled the ‘Jae Mi made pancakes’ card as soon as we reached his bed and he immediately jumped into his washroom. Ryeowook looked at me, impressed, and gave me a thumb up.

“Normally the hyungs don’t wake up as fast. My job is so much easier now that you’re here!”

As soon as we approached Sungmin’s sleeping body I started having flashing images of the pink apron. I started cracking up and couldn’t stop no matter how many gulps of air I inhale. Ryeowook looked at me worriedly but I assured him that I was fine.

I think he’s a light sleeper because once we reached his bedside he slowly rose. Then he gave both of us a big hug.

“Wow, Sungmin hyung didn’t try to use aegyo to sleep longer! Your presence is a miracle,” Ryeowook commented again as we walked down the hall.

I immediately felt guilty as I saw my very own blood related brother curled up in a ball on the floor, trying to give himself heat.

I’m such a horrible sister; I really don’t deserve all this. My first night and already I made my brother sleep on the floor.

My devil sneered. He volunteered to sleep on the floor, stop worrying. If he wants to be Superman, let him.

My angel popped out and glared at the devil. Well, what if he gets a cold? Hurry and wake him up and give him tea or something! He isyour brother! The brotheryou’ve always wanted.

My devil slowly shrunk. It got smaller and smaller until I finally popped them both and ran to wake up Eunhyuk.

“Oppa! Oppa, wake up!”

His body feels as cold as one of a corpse, it’s as if he has no life or energy. My hands sprung away from his skin.

“Please~ I’m so sorry! Please, please, please wake up, you can do anything to me!” I started shaking him more.

He grunted and rolled over almost lifelessly, his teeth chattering slightly.

“Wookie, *cough*, make sure you don’t *cough* wake up my *cough* sister...” he murmured softly.

It’s all my fault. I’m pulling his leg and last night I only thought for myself. I should’ve slept on the floor instead since I’m so used to the Canadian weather, but instead I probably thought that he should’ve done that for me. That he should’ve given up his bed to get sick for me.

And here he is, having a cold and coughing all over the place, yet still thinking about me. Me, his heartless inconsiderable sister.

“Ryeowook oppa, are you strong?” I asked him. He stared back incredulously.

“Well…I could sorta lift Sungmin hyung, so I guess I’m not that much of a weenie.”

“Can you lift Eunhyuk onto his bed? I’ll go get him something to drink.”

Ryeowook looked at Eunhyuk doubtfully, then nodded.

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I walked back to Eunhyuk’s room holding a cup of red tea and I saw Ryeowook panting heavily with his hands lapped on his knees.

“Ohmygoshareyoualrightimsosorryishouldnthaveletyoudonethatohnoimsostupid.” I bent down and immediately started checking his knees for bruises or for sprains.

“Whaaa?” his large eyes looked up at me, confused.

“Never mind that, are you alright?” I hurriedly asked.

“Of course! Hyung isn’t that heavy and I’m not that weak, don’t worry!” he assured me.

“Eunhyuk oppa? Are you awake?” I slowly approached him and put the cup of tea aside on his dresser.

“Ryeowook, can you *cough* get my clothes for me? I have to do *cough* SuKiRa with *cough* Teukie hyung.” He managed to sit up with his eyes still shut tight, a limp hand hanging out the blankets.

“Of cour-” Ryeowook seemed hesitant though.
”WHAT?! No! No way is that happening under my watch. You are not allowed to leave your room during flu season, and you don’t know how cold it is outside. It’s December, the temperature is almost rubbing into below zeros, you’re here coughing and sick, and you’re thinking about some SuKiRa stuff?” I screeched.

Ryeowook stayed still, frozen by my loud lecture, then he nodded and walked out the room, shutting my room to give me time with my brother.

“Jae Mi? Are you awake?” he slowly mustered, sliding back onto the bed again.

“Yes, oppa.”

“Do oppa a favor and help me get *cough* my clothes? It’s folded over there, on my desk chair.”

“Absolutely not.” I stood my ground. I didn’t want to rebel against my brother but I had no choice. I wanted for him the best, and I did not want him to get sicker, and a step outside the dorm certainly seemed possible for him to get sick.

“Jae Mi-yah, you don’t understand! I have to do SuKiRa every other day, and today is my schedule.”

“You don’t have to do it if you’re sick!” I protested.

The more I argue the worse I feel, but really, I just don’t want him to suffer anymore.

“I’m sorry, but I do. It’s *cough* just a little cold.”

“Even if it is, any cold should be treated!”

“Jae Mi, I’m not that weak, my body can *cough* stand it!” he protested and sat up again.

I felt his hands and immediately jumped. They were smoldering and it was as if I touched a pile of burning coal. He has a fever and a cold.

“Kay, you know what? Now you have a fever as well. Stay in bed while I go get some medicine.” I stood up from the stool beside his bed and walked to the door.

“I’m going to radio.”

The four short words stopped me dead.

As much as I tried to hold it back, I snapped.

“FINE, JUST FORGET IT. GO GET YOURSELF SICK OR WHATEVER, IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO CARE THEN I WON’T.”

I pulled his door open and stomped into the living room. Still steaming with fury, I snatched my white sweater up and stormed outside the dorm to the elevator.

As much anger as I felt, they couldn’t drown out the hurt and guilt in my heart and the blended shouts of Eunhyuk and Ryeowook.

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(A/N this is what you're wearing out there in the freezing cold of december http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvm6x4JeBv1qectfno1_500.png) 

It probably was a horrible idea to go outside on a snowy December morning in Seoul. I let my stubbornness get the best of me and did not turn back. The cold slowly creeped up my neck and I felt like dying out there but decided against it.

I moved along with the streets filled with cars and buses and circled around the unfamiliar neighborhood. Everywhere I looked I saw huge blocky Korean letters and my head felt dizzy.

A rush of homesickness fell over me but I shook my head.

This is home for me. Although it certainly didn’t feel like it, I can’t change where my blood is from and who I am.

I sighed and as I looked up, still shivering from the winter breezes, I realized that I’ve arrived at a small park

Although early in the morning, kids were running around, laughing joyfully as the adults sat around on benches gossiping and smiling while taking gentle sips of coffee and tea.

I walked through the dew and frost covered grass and found a deserted area at the very south end, far from the cute children and early morning wakers.

The empty bench was a beautiful shade of smooth hazel and nutella; carved from careful inches of oakwood. Its handles were shining polished iron and its ends in perfect swirls.

I stumped on the bench and pulled my white sweater a bit closer to me. I only have a thin layer of a white cotton t-shirt on me and pajama pants. Soon snow began to fall and I looked up, surprised.

Back in New York City, snow feels like nothing when you are so busy bustling around having all those things to do. Most of the time it’s hidden under the heavy dose of city lights anyways, but now it seems so beautiful.

The snow seems like a completely different element here in Seoul.

I stuck out two fingers and watched as the small structures of crystal landed softly on them.

I also stuck out my tongue and felt dabs of freezing snow padded on it.

Closing my eyes, I drowned out the shouting from further away and thought. I thought about how much fun I already had in one mere day and how much fun I will have.

I thought about how I overreacted and I tried to stop my heart from hurting knowing that my brother might not be where I want him to be at the moment.

Just as I sat, staring at the sky, my stomach protested.

“Aish, I forgot to eat breakfast,” I grumbled to myself. I know that some people sell ice cream in the parks, but I doubt they do that in the wintertime.

Sticking my hand in my pocket, I fumbled around and pulled out my passport, my plane ticket, and an extra allowance of 20,000 won (around $20 U.S.).
Smiling, I strode out the park and back to where I started.

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Even early in the morning vendors were selling food, the smell wafting from the stands at the sidewalk seemed irresistible. I couldn’t decide what to eat so I just walked around, inhaling the smell of corn, ddubolggi, bowls of Kimchi fried rice, and mandu (dumplings).

This scene could compare to New York, seeing as how everybody is calling out to each other, women excitedly pumping their children’s hands, hungry people desperately ordering food. I smiled widely and felt at home again, both technically and mentally.

Without realizing it, I stood in line at a small food stand and waited patiently as the mothers, children, and businessmen bought their breakfasts. The line went amazingly fast and soon I was standing there, staring emptily at the food.

To be honest, I’ve never been familiar with Korean culture, and that included Korean food. I know all their names but I’ve almost never tried them in real life.

They all look so good, I can’t choose. My stomach grumbled loudly. I put a hand over it and blushed, embarrassed.

“Ahjuhmma, I’m new to Korean food, could you suggest some?” I smiled shyly.

The ahjuhmma running the food stand grinned proudly.

“OF COURSE! Darling, you’ve been missing lots! Here we have corn, fresh from the fields and steamed just 20 minutes ago. Then here’s ddubolggi, thick rice cakes soaked with Kimchi. This Kimchi fried rice is made by my son, its name is self-explanatory, no?” her eyes twinkled and she gestured at every food excitedly.

“Aigoo, so many, I can’t choose~” I murmured and stared hungrily at the food. Someone behind me chuckled.

“I know, it’s hard to choose when there’s so much. But I recommend ddubolggi, my daughters love it.” A man in suit smiled gently and gestured at the welcoming rice cakes.

“Okay, I’ll have some ddubolggi, thank you so much!” I paid her a respective 3000 won and stood aside to wait for my food.

The line sped up again, and as more smells of delicacy entered my nose, I almost bent over with agony and hunger.

Just as the woman slid me my container of food, a question popped into my head.Did oppa eat yet?

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I was walking down the sidewalk again, and finally opened the huge container.

Inside, waiting for me were a mountain of ddulboggi, a quarter of a corn, a scoop of Kimchi fried rice and five dumplings lined up in a neat row.

My heart swelled and I felt bad for not paying for all these food, then my eye caught the small note whistling against the wind on the side of the container.

I struggled to read what it said.

My sweetie, don’t bother to pay! It’s my treat. Have a great time in Seoul.

Remember to come back and visit your ahjuhmma~

I smiled widely. Such nice people, yet I doubt if I deserved their niceness and hospitality. Again, I thought of my brother and felt guilt overpower me.

Making up my mind, I decided to save him half my breakfast and walked into a supermarket, equivalent to a London Drugs back in NYC.

“Anneyonghaseyo,” I said and bowed to the register. He smiled and gave me a small bow.

Zig-zagging through the market, I found a bottle of cool Korean pop and small bottles of strawberry, banana, and chocolate milk.

I decided to look around to kill time and found that the market connected to a mall.

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My hands were almost full after buying all my thirst needs so I decided to head back to my comfy park bench I’ve confined myself to half an hour earlier.

Before leaving, I circled around the mall and window shopped, looking hungrily at the displays.

My eye caught sight of a poster so I peered closer. It was a clothing advertisement for SPAO, and someone familiar was on it.

Heechul?

Heechul was wearing a red sweater and a black wool hat, his body bending as another girl’s arms wrapped around him, holding a present.

My eyes looked to the girl and marveled.

Her skin was so smooth and beautiful, and her eyes twinkled happily. Her smile was so wide and looked sincere and her light brown hair rained to her shoulders in beautiful waves.

I sighed and turned my back to them. Somehow I wished that that girl was me, on good terms with Heechul. Somehow I realized that Heechul might not be so bad.

Somehow I hoped that Heechul’s actions will tell me that he’s not so bad as well.

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Like a wolf, I stuffed down my breakfast and left a small pile of ddulboggi and two mandus for my brother. I leaned against the park bench, sighed, and the tears I’ve been holding back fell.

Is he at radio right now? Is he having fun at radio? He mentioned Teukie hyung. Will Leeteuk take care of my brother?

Then realization hit me.

None of the other members know that he has a fever, and Ryeowook only knows that he has a cold.

That means he’s probably at radio at the moment. Still choking through my tears, I whipped out my iPhone and fumbled through until I found the tune-in radio application.

I scrolled down the huge list of live broadcasts in Seouland felt lost with every radio name I read.

Trying to think back to the fiasco this morning, I thought and thought until I remembered the name of his broadcast.

Ryeowook, can you *cough* get my clothes for me? I have to do *cough* SuKiRa with *cough* Teukie hyung.

SuKiRa.

My fingers danced across the small keyboard and furiously typed in SuKiRa. Because of my hurriedness, I kept making mistakes and deleting and mistakes and deleting when at last the six letters could be comprehended.

My heart thudded faster and faster as my iPhone searched for results.

A century later, it finally beeped the announcement of its find.

1 Result- SuKiRa , Super Junior Kiss The Radio

Jackpot.

I turned up my volume and stuffed in my earphones. My head was angled awkwardly on the bench and my legs curled up to keep myself warm.

A few beats of music later, my brother’s voice began talking.

They talked and talked and talked to the guest speakers and they laughed and laughed and laughed.

Everything seemed like a blur to me and I could barely understand anything because they spoke so fast. I could tell that he was happy though, and although he coughed every little moment it was covered up by the speaking of guests and background music.

As I was dozing off, my radar ears caught a conversation during a preppy song.

“Hyukkie? Are you okay?” someone’s voice-Leeteuk’s?- asked.

“Yeah, hyung. Just morning allergies.” Eunhyuk lied.

My insides exploded and I furiously punched at the bench.

Why is he not telling people that he’s sick?! Why do that to himself and torture himself till the end? Is this what he does all the time when he’s sick before?

I cried and watched as my tears melted themselves into the snow at my feet. I wrapped my sweater a bit closer to myself and my eyes lingered at the box of food.

Eat that food. You’re hungry, he’s apparently not. If he wants to do that to himself, let him. You tried. My devil sneered and a strong wind pushed the smell of breakfast into my nostrils again.

I shook my head stubbornly.

My angel did not show up but I did what I thought he would say anyways. Save the damn food.

(A/N haha now listen to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lmy_ifzs5iM / Y by Super Junior)

I pressed the Home button and switched to my Music. I kept searching until I found my current favorite track, Y.

My brain woozily acknowledged that it was by Super Junior and it will only pain me more but I did not care. Setting it on repeat, I fell into slumber despite the hard bench and the lashing snowflakes.

Will you forgive me?

Please think about it one more time.

I won’t let you go now.

I’m such an idiot, why did I shout at him?

Please don’t tell me I hurt him, I only did it so he could live happier. Does he hate me now?

Saying I love you, saying it to you.

Saying I miss you, saying I want to hug you and only you.

I want to protect you.

For you, who will come back to me.

-Narrator POV-

As she slept a man stumbled through the park. He had cursed at his own stupidness and knew that it was not he that should be in this position.

Why did he run out anyways? Why did he have the sudden urge to protect her? Her, who was so against him. Her, who he shamelessly lashed at with harsh words just last night,

Her, who he felt the need to protect even though she’s not his blood sister.

He murmured angrily at the wind messing up his smooth hair and the harsh snowflakes falling onto him, yet he kept searching.

Although Ryeowook had shouted at him to calm down, he did not.

Should I have?He thought back painfully and regretted. Yet his footsteps would not stop. They thudded emptily as he strode past the people laughing and smiling.

How come happiness is so biased?

He wondered as he looked on enviously at them.

Circling around the park, he finally arrived at where he knew was the quietest spot from his pre-debut days.

That same park bench that embraced him and welled his tears and pain now held another sorry soul.

Catching a sharp breath, he ran towards her and fell on his knees, his hand catching the girl’s.

I’m so sorry, Jae Mi.

He knew it might not necessarily be his fault yet he couldn’t help but apologize.

This man rarely apologizes, for he had always been stubborn to his nature. He was always the one that received apologies and Sorry’s did not come easy to his tongue.

Her pale face was as white as the still falling snow, her lips faded to the thin color of pink carnations. She looked so sympathetic yet as strong as ever. Her black lengthy hair fell against her shoulders, hugging her close.

He sat down beside her and his arms slid beneath her to lift her up. Her iPhone dropped and his reflexes bounced to catch it. He then took the earphones from her ears and wrapped them around her phone.

To stop her music the man pressed her Home button twice.

She’s listening to Y…? I thought she knows nothing about us.

He lifted her body with almost no effort. She was small and light. As he walked, a lock of hair fell in his eyes.

The scent of strawberry watermelon drifted into him. He picked up her box of food as well and turned out of the park.

The man and the sleeping girl walked down the streets. As he walked he talked.

“I can do a lot of things. I can tell secrets of so many idols that the entertainment company falls apart. I can make girls instantly fall for me and beg for my heart. I can walk down the streets of Seouland have people throwing money at me.”

He waited for a green light and the girl shifted, burying her head into his shirt.

Tears?

He flinched a little bit but decided to keep going as if nothing happened, yet his mind was racing with questions. Why is she crying?

He shifted his hands and put one on her now-rosy cheeks. Her apricot skin color was back now that she was in the embrace of this man.

As the doorman to the apartment opened the door without questions, he kept talking.

“And I want to do lots of things. I want to make my family proud, show them that I’m worth something. I want to have a wife and kids and be happy once my career ends. I want to never leave the sides of my true friends and brothers. I want to tell my members that I love them but I’m afraid of being cheesy. There are so many memories for me that I want to relive.”

He stopped at the door to his apartment and pressed in the passcode with a finger.

He walked in quietly, setting the girl onto his bed.

“There’s just one last thing I want to do. The Kim Heechul wants to say Sorry.”

As he turned to walk out of his room, the girl’s eyes fluttered open.

~~~

Aigoo, sort of a depressing chapter, no? haha i sound like i know about korea so much but i dont D:

at least Heechul apologized~ who knows if Jae Mi heard him or not? (;

i hope you enjoyed this chapter, comment&subscribe~thankyou<3