Dad wasn’t going to get better. I had to accept that fact after four days he was hospitalized and still in the same state. I felt jittery, refused to go to school in fear that he might slipped away from us when I was away, and most of all, feeling guilty. Changmin, my stubborn brother, took indefinitetime off college. When he told me that he could catch up all the classes he had left, I didn’t believe him at all. But he had promised me that it wouldn’t affect his graduation, so I gave in.Beside what eighteen-year-old could possibly do in this situation?

The thing was,Yunho was also staying with us. I didn’t know what to make of it.

On day five, I was woken up on a nightmare. My body was covered in sweat in spite of the chilly air in the room. I knew that the sun was barely up. I sat gingerly in the couch. My limb was still shaking from the aftermath of the nightmare. Changmin and Yunhotook a turn onstaying up at night. From across the room, I saw my brother’s dark hair under the heavy blanket. I contemplate to wake him up but I couldn’t find my voice. My throat was dry.

The only sound in the room was the steady beeping of the machine supporting dad’s life. I shifted my eyes to dad’s immobile form on the bed. His chest rose and fell subtly. It didn’t make me feel better. In fact, the more I continued to watch him, the more I wanted to cry my eyes out. Suddenly, the back of my neck pricked with uneasy feeling as I saw a shadow in the corner of the room.

The shadow didn’t belong to Yunho.

The only lightening in the room came from the bulb next to dad’s sick bed. The shadow moved closer to dad’s bed and I watched helplessly as the soft glow from the lamp fell upon it. My breath hitched in my chest. It was mom. Oh god. I screamed Changmin’s name over and over again, but no sound came out. My mouth opened and closed without making sound. I felt sick.

Mom’s serene face stared at me tenderly. It had been too long since I saw her face. Hot tears covered my cheeks.

No, please. Please don’t take him. He’s not ready. He belongs to us. It’s not his time yet.

I willed mom to understand me, but she shook her head. I wished that I could move. Why couldn’t I move at all?

Mom, don’t take him. There are things I haven’t said to him yet. Please don’t take him. We need him, mom. 

The look on her face broke my heart. She understood what I meant. I could see it in her eyes.

Your father understands, baby girl. It’s alright. You can let him go now.

Her voice was as soft as I remembered. And it had been a very long time since I heard it that my eyes scalded with fresh of hot tears. Why was my brother still sleeping? Couldn’t he feel mom’s presence? Defeated, I slumped back on the couch. I watched as dad slowly drifted away until the line on the monitor beside him went straight. The deafening sound of the machine filled the room. It jolted my brother awake. Yunho stormed inside the room with panic on his eyes.

“What’s wrong?!” He ran straight to my motionless form, kneeling before me.“Yuri?”

My brother screamed, trying to shake dad awake, while occasionally yelled for nurse and doctor. It was sickeningly upsetting that he was trying to wake dad up. Dad was dead. Yunho’s hands felt like iron stamp on my knees, but I couldn’t force my eyes away from dad’s dead body. He was taken away from me in front of my eyes and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

I jumped to my feet when Changmin shook dad’s shoulder hard enough to rattle the various pipes connected to his lifeless body. Knocking Yunho on his , I charged at my brother with my fists. “Stop it! Stop! He’s gone! He’s gone!”

Yunho wr