We’ve grown closer, like best friend, and my parents are cool about that. Yunho, the genius, is always helping me with homework that my grades go skyrocketing this year. I always get A’s in every subject. He’s the badass boy, with badass body and badass brain. Everything about him is fascinating for me. The thing is, I want us more than best friend. I feel like what I and Yunho have is more than just friendship. Is it possible for that? It hurts to think he only sees me as a kid, a kid he found out on a day he was punished by his coach, a kid that will be only friend to him. This whole confusing friendship messes up with my head sometimes I found myself crying to sleep especially after I saw one day Yunho and Ara flirting shamelessly in the living room. It’s a wonder that they aren’t an item by now.

Of course I have to pull myself together if I want Yunho around. In the end I draw line of do’s and don’ts when Yunho and I spent time together. Rules no.1 is never, ever mention of boys or girls we date. Stupid rule because I never went on a date before.

On the other side, I also know that he has a bad home situation. He was raised by his uncle and aunt who were not that great of uncle and aunt. Rather than coming home to them on the weekend, he will spend his time on our home, either annoying me or charming the hell out of my parents. And ever since he has become the part of our family. Dad has made sure that he’d be always welcome here.

Actually it’s not only him. With the lack of men in the family department, Dad pours out his longing for sons to his soccer players. They are always welcome here on the weekend for pool party or family dinner. We, the female population, never complain as long as it makes Dad happy. Either way, we also get the benefit of it. Mom gets neat lawn,Ara gets to flirt the boys and thousand of attention and me, spending more time with Yunho.

“Did Junho make a pass at you last weekend?”

I look away from the glass wall to a scowling Yunho. There’s a party going on in the pool. My sister uses it on full advantage, flaunting her flawless body in front of red-blooded college boys. At a time like this, I usually choose to retreat in my comfort zone, that’s either watching TV or busying myself in the kitchen. But today, instead of doing either of those, I play chess with Yunho in the living room, occasionally glancing outside when my sister’s shriek of delight echoes in the air.

“Yes, I think.” I shrug him off, knowing where this will lead. Without actually see it, I know his brows have pulled together like he’s in deep thought. That’s the thing about Yunho. He’s intense and intimidating, an alpha male to the core.

“Stay away from him.” He says gruffly.

I can’t tamp down my temper. “What is it with you?!He’s a nice guy.”

“You don’t know about him.”

“Watch it!” I glare at him. As usual he’s ruining the mood with never ending boys-advice. Those advices, coming from him, sound hypocrite. I’ve heard from here and there about his escapades, and see if it’s not tearing me apart from the inside. How dare he threatening his teammates to stay away from me while he can flirt shamelessly with my sister and other girls? “I’ll talk to whoever I like. It’s not like I need permission from you.”

“He’s a man Yuri!”

Considering that my parents are in the house and they can possibly hear us, my adrenaline is kicking in. “It takes one to recognize one. Wow Yunho, really? And look at you seducing my sister at every turn!” Shut up!“Why won’t you just admit that you’re jealous?!”Shut up!“Why you have to threaten every boys who want to know me?!”Shut up!“Maybe they are even better than you!”

I’m breathing hard when I finish my berate at Yunho. We both know that I’ve crossed the line. The look on his face confirms it. It’s like he wants to be anywhere but here with me. And it hurts like hell. The silence that falls between us is more than enough to kill my heart slowly. In that moment, my heart admits that I fell in love with my best friend.

“You know we can’t do this.” He whispers roughly.

“You. Not we.” I correct bitterly. Why, there’s only three years difference between us. He opens up more about his life to me than anyone else. That counts for something, isn’t it? I practically hold all of his secrets in my hands. Why can’t he see it? “You can put up with my sister’s but you’re scare with mine?” I continue to taunt him even when my mind screams at me to stop. I risk our friendship here but I’m tired to pretend anymore. I see him more than friend and I want him to know even when I know that he’s already knew that.

His expression hardens. It’s his coping mechanism. He shuts out people completely when they push his limits. Yunho would rather run away when he’s confronted with his demon. And I wish like hell that he would fight it this time. I need him to fight. But instead, what I see in his eyes is enough to sting my eyes and breaks my heart all over again. The eyes that stare at me is miserable even when his face hard like granite. I know that I’ve lost the battle again.

“Who won?” Dad chooses the moment to stroll in the living room with mom following closely on his tail. My parents’ timing is .

We both look away almost immediately. It suddenly feels awkward. We both remain silence as my parents sit down on the couch in front of us. Mom sets down a plate of cookies I’ve baked in the morning near the chess board. I feel Dad’s eyes bore down on my shoulder and I suddenly feel ashamed for getting caught like this. Dad always knows my feeling no matter how good I’ve been at hiding it. It’s not like he’s disapprove of it. Well, I don’t know but every time he brought the topic, he told me that it’s better to wait. Whatever the hell that means.

“So, have you asked her yet, Yunho?” Mom asks suddenly. I look up at her to find her face full of hope.

“Ask her? Who? What?” I narrow my eyes at mom. My heart is pounding loudly in my chest I’m scare it’d burst out of me, leaving me hollow and empty. I have the feeling that I’d soon feel that way with or without my heart in my chest.

Mom’s smiling and sighing like she just witnesses a happily ever-after. “Yunho told us that he would ask Ara out.”

The ground beneath my feet crumbles down. I know that this will come sooner or later, but hearing it coming from Mom is like rubbing salt on a fresh wound. I know that I’m not her favorite daughter. I still wish that I could do something right to make her proud of me. But as years passed, it’s a futile hope. I’m different. I’d never meet her expectations. 

It's been a very long time since the last time I updated. School's been busy and I have to write my final paper. I'm so sorry that I can't yet to update 'Best Mistake'. Instead, I finished writing this story. But don't worry, I've planned to update lots of chapters with this one since this story has only eight chapters. Hope you like it. 

Love,

Chocolate_Yul