What? What was going on? I didn't... I didn't understand. How can he know? I was inside a mini van and I knew all the faces of the people sitting in this car. He was not here. The windows were black. He can't have seen me. He can't know, can he? Or did I read wrong? 

I unlocked my phone to read once again the three messages I had received on Line.
The first one was three simple words I've heard so many times they don't mean anything anymore. The next three words were just a way to make me give in. And the last message didn't make sense. This was so random. I hadn't heard of him for weeks now. I wanted to know what was going on but I swore to never talk to him ever again. 

I was just about to screen lock my phone when Zico asked : 
"You stopped snapchating? You should continue it was good advertisement for the show."

I ignored him cause my head was full of questions I needed answers right away. I kept my eyes on my phone, waiting for another message. But nothing came. I could hear Zico talking to me but I didn't listen. I didn't know that number, must be a new one. But I knew who these messages were from even without clicking on the profile. I mean come on. It can only be him. But why now. And what did he mean in his last message? Was he trying to warn me about something? Or did he just sent the message to the wrong person? No, that's not it. I knew it was meant for me. He wouldn't have done such a mistake as to sent messages to the wrong person. And that wrong person being me. But why was he warning me? And against what? Or whom? 

I kept locking and unlocking the screen mindlessly when a hand took my phone away. I watched Zico unlock my phone, go through my messages. Everything went in slow motion but I couldn't even stop him, too stunned. I knew what he was going to read. I watched his face change into confusion. He looked up. His eyes glued on mine. Questioning me with his eyes. Questions I've been asking myself too. 

Even if I knew what was going on, I never planned on telling him about my life. So I glared at him and took my phone back. He didn't say anything. Didn't asked his questions out loud. Which I'm grateful for, Yuna unnie didn't know anything about it. And I didn't want to talk about my private life in front of Seolhyun. 

I tried to ease up the tension from my shoulders and my neck. 

"Already tired? That's why rookies shouldn't enter this competition. You have to be stronger than that if you want to keep up with your sunbaes. Don't worry, it'll probably be over very soon for you, said Seolhyun with clear disgust in her voice.

- I'm not worried. And I'm not tired. Actually, I was warming up my muscles for the war to come.

- Well, you should warm your voice. Your "muscles" won't be needed." She actually used her hands to make air quote marks. Seriously, not to brag, but I've been keeping up with a strict gym schedule. Remember how much I eat? Well, I need to burn them up. I didn't even take the trouble to answer her. 

Anyway, the van's door opened on the House and it wasn't the time nor the place to worry about him or Seolhyun. I put on my best fake smile and got out of the car after unnie. Zico followed me and we were all four smiling brightly at the cameras and photographers. One would think we're about to walk on the red carpet with all those objectives. I was looking out for any signs that would confirm the messages were a warning. But didn't see any. 

The camera's attention changed to the new arrivals coming out of another mini van parked behind ours, leaving us invisible for a few minutes. A few minutes of freedom. 
A few minutes that went on for ages. Everything went fast. 
Seolhyun tried to talk to Zico. She was angrier than before. Unnie tried to take me away from both of them. But Zico grabbed my other arm. And then I was dragged on the other side of the car, hidden from unwanted eyes and ears. 

"Who are they from? Why did they scare you like that? I thought you were going through another panic attack, you should've at least talked to me so I know you're ok. Do we need to call the police? Do you want me to do it? Do you want me to tell the staff to take you out from the show?

- Wait, stop. Stop talking. These messages are private and you just violated my privacy. So stop asking questions. This doesn't concern you, ok. So forget what you read." At that point I was really pissed. Who does he think he is? Meddling in my life like that. 
Yuna unnie came on my side asking me if I was okey and that we should go our host was waiting for us inside the house.
So off we went. Zico right behind my back trying to communicate. I tried to ignore him as much as I could. 
When we came inside the house I stopped dead in my tracks, causing Zico to bump against my back. I couldn't believe my eyes.
I knew what the messages meant now.

"I am sorry" to make you go through this again.
"You look beautiful."
"They didn't give me a choice." I have to be the host of this show to stand in for Lee Seung Gi.