It was that time of year again. The time of year I visit my physician? Nope. Exactly one year from that day in November, I visited a fortune teller. I only went due to plain curiosity. Honestly, I just happened to pass by her shop and entered it without any intentions of getting my future read. I was in my first year of high school, then. She wasn't a tarot card reader. She was a fortune teller with a glass ball. Yes, it sounds cheesy but it's the truth. When I had my fortune read, she was concentrating her power on the glass ball.

When she asked me what I wanted to know about, I told her to read the most important event that would happen to me that year.

She closed her eyes and spoke. "Someone will adopt you soon." I never believed in fortune telling but at that moment, I believed in it. How could she know I was an orphan? There was no way she could have known just by looking at me. I was already at an older age and she told me someone was going to adopt me. Then, she opened her eyes and frowned. "But you must not go with her."

I suddenly got angry. "Why can't I?"

She shook her head. "It's up to you to believe me or not. I can't say anymore. My services depend on the amount of money."

"I can pay you more!" I said.

"You need to save up so you can fend for yourself. I won't accept anymore money from you." She left my future in such a puzzle. On one hand, I was excited to know I was finally getting adopted. I would have a mom, a dad and maybe even siblings and cousins. On the other hand, I was scared to find out what happens once I do get adopted. Will I get abused? Will I just be a slave? Why did she tell me not to go with her?

I got my answer a month later in December. It snowed the day before so the roads were still a covered with wet snow. I was called to the office by one of the nannies. We were told to call the social workers, nannies, because they said it brings us "closer."

I didn't really expect anything when I was called down because when the fortune teller told me I was going to be adopted soon, I didn't think it would take a month. I just forgot all about it and concluded the fortune teller was just a scam. I entered the office and there was an unknown lady sitting in front of the head nanny. She stood up when she heard me enter. Her eyes suddenly got wet and I was utterly confused.

"Sunggyu," she called.

My brows furrowed together. "Who are you?"

"Say hello, Sunggyu," the head nanny told me. "She's your mom's sister. She's your aunt."

I stared at the woman who stood in front of me with tears falling down her cheeks. I didn't understand why she was crying. She didn't even know me. Was I supposed to cry, too? Was I supposed to have any emotional feelings towards her? No, I didn't. I was only confused as to why this woman was crying.

The nannies left us together in the office to talk. "You've grown so big," she said, sliding her hand down my arm. Uncomfortably, I moved away from her touch. She noticed and her hand moved to her lap. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"To take you home, of course!" she said like it was the most obvious thing. "I have to take you home. You'll love it! I live in the big city. I also have a child in his last year of high school. When I told him he would have a younger brother, he was very excited!"

"Why now?" I asked, interrupting her.

She was quite shocked to hear my question like I was someone who would agree to go with her, no questions asked. She smiled. "I forgot you're already so mature. The social workers here told me about you." She paused, expecting me to say something but I didn't. I patiently waited for her answer. "Have you ever wondered about your parents?" she asked. I shook my head, no. She smiled, "You're different from what I thought you would be."

Who did she think I was? I had never seen her in my life. Did she expect me to be a normal orphan who longed for their parents? That wasn't me. Why would I miss my parents who threw me away?

"Your parents sent you here because they couldn't financially take care of you. They had problems of their own and with you, they couldn't handle it. They sent you here so you can live better." That was complete bull and I knew it. They sent me to the orphanage so I could live better? I was three when they sent me there and I never felt any love from them.

"So why did you come and they didn't?" I asked.

"Because I want to adopt you. I wanted a second child but because of unfortunate circumstances, I could not. I haven't been in contact with your mom ever since you arrived here but recently, I met her. She reminded me of you, so I came here to adopt you. I felt horrible for what she had done so I came here to give you a better life, with me."

I didn't understand her. She was contradicting herself. "Why are you lying?" I asked. She blinked, not understanding what I asked. "You said she sent me here because they couldn't take care of me. They would rather let me live here than take me with them. They left me here when I was three and all of the sudden, you came all the way here from the city to tell me you want to give me a better life."

She nodded. "That's correct but I don't understand why you say it's a lie. I'm not lying to you!"

"Then why did my mom not send me to you in the first place?" 'Mom' was an unfamiliar word to say. I think it was the first time I ever said it. "You said you wanted a second child. Why didn't she give me to you in the beginning? I would have already lived a better life. You said she sent me here so I can be comfortable and now you say I can be comfortable with you. Will I be comfortable in the streets, too?"

She took a small breath. "I know this is overwhelming for you. I know."

"You don't know anything!" I yelled. "You don't know who I am. I don't even understand why you cried when you saw me. We don't even know each other. On top of that, why didn't you just adopt another child? Why did you search for me?"

The woman started to tear up again. I suddenly felt horrible. I just yelled at a woman who wanted the best for me. I'm not hot tempered at all. She just made me riled up because of her obvious lies.

"You're right," she admitted. "I am lying." I let out a breath and slumped in my seat. I wasn't even looking at her anymore but she still continued. "It's true that I met your mother after many years. She ran away from home with your dad when she had you. She cut off all communication from her family. I didn't know where she was and I didn't even know you were born. We met coincidentally and we caught up. She told me about you. I suddenly felt sorry because of what you went through. That's why I cried. When I saw you, I saw the resemblance. I lied because I didn't want to tell you all of that but you're smart."

Tears were running down my face uncontrollably. I cried because of the pitiful life I had. I was born to a couple who had eloped and left me alone. No one knew of my existence until now. A woman who claims to my aunt came to get me because she felt sorry.

"Sunggyu..." she called. She was about to touch me but I flinched away. I wiped the tears with my shirt. "Does she have a family?" I asked.

"Who?"

"...your sister."

She looked away from me and I knew the answer. She threw me away, forgot about me and had another family.

"Then, I can't go with you," I said.

"You won't see her. We just met coincidentally," she reasoned.

"What if we meet coincidently? You said I resemble her. What if she knows who I am? What if I know who she is? I don't want to know."

"Sunggyu..."

I stood up. "Thank you for thinking of me and coming all the way here. As much as I want someone to accept me as their son, I don't want to be connected to the woman who abandoned me."

"...I understand."

"Have a safe trip home." I bowed once and left the room without turning back. I think I handled the situation immaturely. I shouldn't have been such a baby and cried in front of her. I shouldn't have yelled at her nor should I have been sensitive about the topic of my mom. If I just let it slide, things wouldn't be like this. I wouldn't have to go through so much pain. I should have just ended it when I had the chance.

The fortune teller saved my life. She told me not to go back with her. On the same day, my aunt got into a fatal car crash. She and some others died at the scene because of the slippery ice. If I was in that car, I would have been dead at the age of 15. Maybe I would have preferred it that way.

When I went back to the fortune teller, all she said was, "I'm glad you're safe." I asked so many questions but she didn't answer any of them. She just told me to come back the next year and I did.

That year I came back. "So you marked your calendar," she noted and I nodded. I slapped a couple of bills on the table. She stared at the money before closing her eyes and concentrated on her glass ball. I noticed a slight smirk on her lips. She opened her eyes and said with a smile. "Sunggyu, you'll finally become a human being."

I gave her my most offensive 'are you kidding me' face. "You're joking right? I paid you five dollars for you to tell me that? I know I'm human or are you telling me I am an alien all along? I paid you to get my fortune read; not to give me riddles!"

"Sunggyu," she called calmly despite my rising anger. "I know your personal life is hard but you shouldn't vent it out at me. You should vent it out with your friend."

"Oh, and you should know what my personal life is? You just give me riddles and that first time last year was just a coincidence!"

"You like a girl who doesn't like you back." I stared at her before I scoffed. "Anyone can guess that." "Are you trying to test my ability?" she asked and I shrugged, challenging her.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Let's play it your way. Shall I go into detail of how you are less than that of a human? Sunggyu, human beings are people with emotions. You on the other hand, don't have any. Last year when your aunt died, did you even cry for her? Did you ever think how sad her family must be after hearing she died because she was trying to adopt you?"

"You told me not to go!" I argued.

"I did. I did tell you not to go but that doesn't mean you can blame her. You can't blame her for dying because she tried to adopt you." My eyes widened. "You feel sympathy and distress for people who died. You, on the other hand, didn't care. Also, should I mention the fact that when you were in middle school, your friend fell off the top bunk but you didn't do anything to help him while he was yelling in pain. You pretended to be in a deep sleep and waited for the social workers to come in." I stared at her in disbelief. You almost sound evil, don't you think?"

I shook my head. "But I'm not...I didn't mean to blame her for her own death. I was just angry. And I was going to help him! I knew the social workers were coming so I just left him..."

She sighed, "I didn't mean this to make you feel bad. I'm just telling you your fortune. Those thoughts won't happen anymore. You'll experience love. You'll receive love. You'll know what friendship really is. Sunggyu, you'll become a good person."

From then on, I ate my lunch by myself. I didn't even talk to Jia after that. I expected her to come to me and explain the situation. I thought our relationship was close to being friends but I guess she treated me like all the other kids at school. Obviously the fortune teller said I'd understand what friendship is but I wondered when. She told to come back in two years. She told me coming by every year wouldn't be good for me.

While I was alone by myself, I did a lot of reflecting. There were some things I did in the past that I regretted. I don't understand why I changed my image to be a 'bad boy' when I already was one. If I didn't change my image, things would probably be different. Jia would willingly talk to me instead of avoid me like I was a plague. I didn't know she was that cruel to leave me hanging.

"Sunggyu?" I looked up at the familiar voice that called my name.

"What?" I demanded coldly.

"Uh...can you move to the seat beside you? I was assigned to sit here." Looking around the classroom and noticed some others moving their desks around. I didn't even notice the teacher had changed our seating plan before lunch break.

"Sit on the other one," I said. "We're seat partners anyway."

"Right." She set her things down on the table and rearranged her things. I rested my head down on my desk, pretending to sleep. I just couldn't stop my heart from hammering against my chest. Although I was so pissed and angry at her, my body was still reacting like that. Even my reaction made me angry!

Soon, the others arrived and arranged their desks. "Sunggyu?" she called again. I didn't reply. "Sunggyu." I didn't reply. She nudged me. "Hey, Sunggyu."

"Say my name one more time and I swear I'll burst," I told her. My heart felt like it wanted to burst. Why couldn't she just shut up and ignore me like she had been doing for the past few days? She kept quiet for a while before saying, "I'm friends with Woohyun again." I involuntarily sighed when my heart started aching. "He...he kind of told me not to talk to you."

I shot right up. "What? Is he your boyfriend now? Do you do everything he tells you to?"

"He's my friend-"

"What am I? Who am I to you, huh?" I yelled. The class went silent and everyone stared at us. I saw her face go red as she looked around uneasily. She was clearly embarrassed. Frustrated, I shot out of my seat and left the classroom.

Although it was winter, I went outside anyway. I thought the cold would lessen my anger. I made an embarrassment of myself by confessing to her in front of everyone. Not caring about the cold pavement, I sat down and looked up at the gloomy sky. It was going to snow any second. Although it was freezing, I somehow drifted off to sleep.

After, I don't know how long, I woke up. I looked down to see a jacket on top of me. Two, actually. I picked the jackets up and inspected it. One was a girl's jacket and the other was a boy's jacket. I didn't think much of it and headed to the washroom to warm myself up with the air dryer before going back to class. School had already ended and no, I didn't sleep the entire day. If I did, I would have been dead earlier. I checked the time and noticed that I only slept for maybe 30 minutes.

I placed the jackets on my desk before I grabbed my things and got out of there. I headed to my locker to get my own jacket when Nicole called my name. She was coming towards me with a broom. "Hey, gramps, clean up the classroom, will you?"

I turned back to my locker. "Why? It's not my day to clean the classroom."

"Today is Jia's turn," she said in a 'duh' tone.

I shrugged. "That's not my problem."

"Aren't you her friend? You know her partner is going to ditch her anyway."

"Why don't you do it?"

"I have tutor right after school. You're the only friend she has in class."

"We're not friends," I told her. She sighed loudly. "Fine. Don't help her." She walked away, to return the broom to the supply closet.

I packed my books into my bag before I stopped. To help or not to help? Why was that question even popping up in my mind? I was supposed to be angry at her. I sighed in frustration before stuffing my jacket and backpack back into the locker and ran after Nicole.

With the broom in my hand, I headed towards my classroom. One moment I refuse to help her and the other I was willing to. Boys are bipolar, I tell you; more specifically, boys in love. I opened the classroom door to see Jia cleaning the windows and Woohyun right beside her. I felt angry and my face hardened. What the heck was he doing here? This wasn't his classroom. "Hey, angel in disguise. I want a word with you."

Woohyun stepped down the chair and smiled at Jia before following me outside. I scoffed. We stepped outside and he closed the door behind him. I stood across from him and scanned him. What was with this person that Jia liked so much?

"Who are you?" I got straight to the point.

"I'm Nam Woohyun."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. Was he stupid or what? I already knew who he was. "I don't want your name, idiot. I'm asking, who are you to her?"

"I'm her friend," he replied.

I didn't believe that for a second. "You're not her boyfriend or anything? There are rumors, you know. You guys have been together since middle school, not separating for one minute."

He chuckled. "I'm sure we separate for more than a minute. I also know where this is going. It's obvious for me and I'm sure it's obvious for everyone else but her. You like her."

"What's wrong with that?" I asked.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just, she doesn't like you. She thinks you're rude and she detests those kinds of people. So as an advice-" I didn't let him finish his sentence when my fist suddenly made contact with his face. I didn't know where that came from. Honestly, he was the first person I ever hit on the face. I packed a real punch because he hit the door behind him hard. "Advice? Don't you dare give me any advice!" I yelled.

The door behind him opened but he pulled it closed. "Woohyun? Are you alright?" I felt a pang in my chest. Why was she asking him and not me? I never hit a person without a reason. I shouldn't have gotten mad over such a little thing but I couldn't help it. I was sick and tired seeing Jia so depressed and worried over him. When he comes asking for forgiveness she immediately forgives him? No, that's not how it works. He is the one that caused her pain and he wants to give me advice?

"I know what I'm doing. If you were to back off, everything would work out fine," I continued. "If you would have just stayed away, if you would have just gone with your own friends, she would have come to me. Do you know how lonely she was? Do you know how damn lonely she was when she started eating inside the classroom? She ate her lunch and stared at nothing for the next hour. She didn't even do anything productive. I felt bad watching her like that and I felt angry at the person who made her lonely. Angel in disguise? You're no angel. You're no good with her."

"And you are? Didn't I just tell you, she doesn't like you at all?" That sneer on his face made me retract my arm back and I swung it towards his face until I stopped short when Jia called my name. I was literally two inches away from his cheek.

"Please, stop!" she screamed. "Both of you, just stop! What's the point in arguing about this? I'm right in front of you! Just talk to me!" She had opened the classroom window to the hallway and poked her head out.

I pulled back my fist and said while glaring at Woohyun. "What's the point of talking to you about this when he is the one who needs to know? He needs to know you've been miserable because of him. Because of his stupid drugged friend!"

"And you don't do drugs?" he yelled. "You're practically the most rebellious student in this school. You treat everyone like trash and I get to hear this from you? If I'm making her life miserable, what are you doing to half of the student body? A person like you shouldn't be telling me this!"

Without thinking, I punched him in the face again. No one expected that. Jia screamed and Woohyun fell to the floor, holding his face. "I have all the right to tell you this because I like her! I changed because I wanted her attention. No one is going to remember an orphan. I changed and she noticed me. So why did you have to come along and ruin my plan?" I looked at Jia and said in a softer tone. "Why do you make me look so bad in front of her?"

I got to cool down over the weekend but when I got back to school, I felt bothered and angry. It didn't help that Jia sat right beside me during classes. She just reminded me of that stupid confession. We didn't really talk during any of the classes, which I was grateful for. But that dreaded time had come when the teacher revealed his true intension of changing the seating plan.

"I want you to take a good look at your partner," he said and I scoffed loudly. "Because that person will be your partner for your half year project." The students groaned and I mentally did, too. Seriously? Right after that fight I had to be paired up with her? Lady Luck was definitely not on my side.

The teacher explained what the whole project was about and honestly, I just zoned out of that. I didn't have the patience to listen to all of that when there were so many important things going in on my head. Before I knew it, the bell rung. I put my head down on my desk while the other students headed towards the cafeteria. Jia would be gone anyway and I would have liked to have some time for myself.

Unfortunately, she didn't even get up. When I sat back up and looked at her, she just stared back. I felt my face becoming a bit hot by her strong stare and I just wished it didn't show. "What?"

"You're an orphan?" she asked right off the bat. Of course she would. What did I expect?

"So?"

"Why did you tell him?"

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't tell him. It just came out and I wished you would have just ignored that but obviously that's the first thing that came out of your mouth."

She looked down at her hands. "Sorry."

I let out a long breath. "So what? Why is it that you wanted confirmation from? Are you asking because you pity me or what?"

"...I would have noticed you if you hadn't changed. I would have noticed you even if you are an orphan. You're still a human being."

My eyes rounded a bit. I didn't expect that to come out from . I guess I was really shocked because when she looked at me she smiled and said, "You better close that mouth if you don't want a bug to fly in." I shut my mouth and looked away embarrassingly. "I wish you were that nice, quiet person from before. It's a shame you turned out to be someone like this."

"I changed so you could notice me," I said. "I don't do drugs. Nor have I ever hurt anyone. Your friend was the first person I ever got physical with. You probably don't believe me-"

"I believe you." I looked at her. "I believe you," she repeated. "You're not a bad person. You just tried hard for the wrong person. You shouldn't like me. I'm not that great or pretty. I have a smart mouth, too."

"...I don't think I can do that. I have a reason to like you."

"Okay," she said. "I won't ask you why. If I do, I'll wonder why Woohyun doesn't like me for the same reasons." She chuckled bitterly. "Come on! Let's go to Woohyun's classroom." She grabbed my wrist but I tugged it back.

"Are you serious right now? I just punched him twice yesterday and you want me to go apologize?"

She shook her head. "I didn't tell you to apologize. I'm just telling you to come with me. I need to tell him that we're working on the project together. He might not be comfortable with the idea of us being together." I rolled my eyes and got up to follow her.

I don’t know what happened. After that Woohyun and I became friends. I don’t remember what happened. Actually, that’s a lie. I do remember. I don’t remember what was going on my head when we suddenly became close. I don’t regret it though. It’s just unexplainable. I’m glad Woohyun was my best friend. He was so nice I wanted to punch him a couple times just to get him angry. Have we fought before? Of course, and I’m telling you that he had a good reason to. I wanted him to punch me. I wanted him to beat me so I couldn’t stand anymore but he only threw one measly punch. It was a shame, really.

He liked Jia but he was afraid to confess; he was afraid his feelings were one sided. He was scared their friendship wouldn’t last if something went wrong along the way. He was totally wrong. They liked each other but I didn’t say anything because I was greedy. I was a horrible person. Jia and Woohyun liked each other and I was the one to in. I don’t regret it though; I don’t regret dating Jia. There are many things I regret and dating Jia is not one of them.

I miss them.

Have y'all figured out what's happening?