"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."
- Viktor E. Frankl

Jungkook

In the past two days, Dasom had not once visited any of their lectures. Nor did she ever open the door when Taehyung and Jimin had tried to get her out for coffee. It had even crossed his mind that, maybe, she hasn't been in her dorm room at all.

In the past two days, Jungkook hadn't been able to sleep. The nightmares had gotten worse, and wandering around at night couldn't relief his inner stress. He avoided looking in the mirror for his own sake, fearing he would hate what he saw.

Dark eyes that belonged to a face that wasn't his own.

When his alarm clock rang on this particular morning, Jungkook got up from his bed with mixed feelings.

Today was the day of the school's competition, where his friends would participate – and it was also the day he would meet up with Dasom to talk.

Having promised Taehyung to listen through his final rehearsal, Jungkook put on black sweatpants and a black hoodie, stuffed his phone and keys into the pocket before exiting his room, stepping into the hallway with a loud yawn.

Just when the door behind him falls shut, he notices the pair of heavy boots standing in front of the door opposite of him.

Jungkook didn't even need to look up to know who it was – but he did anyway.

Dasom stood there, dressed in all black expect for a bright red beanie, looking down at her phone – probably reading a text message, Jungkook figured – and didn't even notice him. Or if she did, she hid it well.

Instantly, Jungkook ducked out of the way, pulling the hood over his head, and hurried down the hall to where the staircase was. He did not feel like facing her just now. Neither his head or heart were prepared for that talk.

The lash of the cold wind was almost unbearable as he stepped out into the snow-covered campus. The air cut through his thick hoodie, and not even shoving his hands in the pockets did any help. His legs picked up in a jog and he cursed Taehyung for living on the other end of the school's property.

When he arrived at Taehyung's dorm room, the tip of his nose was frozen and he was pretty sure that his cheeks were bright red from the cold. He knocked on the door with one knuckle and listened to rummaging behind it. The next second, Taehyung ripped the door open. The boy's brown hair was disheveled and he looked stressed all over. No picture Jungkook enjoyed seeing.

“You look like ” Jungkook stated, greeting his friend with a curt nod before pushing past him and flinging himself on Jimin's empty bed. He was probably in the dance studio since 6 am.

“Nice to see you, too” Taehyung grumbled, pushing the door into the lock. Then he added “Suave, as always,” under his breath, but Jungkook could hear his low murmur anyway.

Jungkook let himself fall on his back, his wrist resting on his forehead, and he let out a heavy sigh. “You seem stressed is what I meant to say.”

“Well, no , Jungkook” Taehyung scoffed and fell next to his dark-haired friend. “It's because I am!”

“Redundant,” Jungkook yawned. “I've told you a million times. Stress and nervousness – it's only in your head. You're not seeing things in the bigger picture. This day – this contest – it's all really irrelevant to your future-”

“It's not!” Taehyung protested, but Jungkook didn't get deterred.

“- to the other people, and to this universe. They care for Kim Taehyung just as the moment passes, but in a week of time, nobody will really give a thought about it. You're nervous and stressed because you're making out scenarios in your head, and the possibilities prevent you from focusing.”

After Jungkook's lecture, silence fell over the room, causing him to open one eye. Taehyung was glaring at him in disbelief, but Jungkook only shrugged unapologetically. He was telling the truth, and he knew it.

“I didn't ask you over to drown me in bluntness, .”

It was the first time that Jungkook noticed that he might have actually hurt somebody with what he said, and something like a bad conscious pierced his heart. A frown formed on Jungkook's face and he sat up in one, swift motion, his eyes never leaving Taehyung's, which were throwing daggers.

“Taehyung, I didn't mean to-”

“What ever, Jungkook” he cut in with a flat voice, facing his lap. Jungkook scanned his friend's face and felt bad when he noticed the dead, lopsided smile on his lips. “It wouldn't be the first time I'd get over what you said.”

Jungkook's mouth hung open as he registered what Taehyung had thrown into his face. Dumbfounded, Jungkook let his shoulder hang and sank into himself. Was that all he did? Hurt people with what he said? It wasn't the first time somebody accused him of this – all his past girlfriends did, to be honest – but it was the first time it mattered to him.

“I don't have all the time in the world, so you either go, or get a hang of yourself and listen to me sing. Your choice.”

Jungkook didn't know what to respond, so he simply shut his mouth, his teeth clattering as the jaws met. With a curt nod, he signaled Taehyung to start singing.

And as he did, Jungkook felt like he was suffocating.

Jungkook had heard his friends sing before. They were good and Jungkook himself was pretty decent as well – but when Taehyung closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the vice coming from his mouth sounded different.

All through the song, Jungkook simply stared at Taehyung, his eyes hanging at his lips and the words sung by that beautiful, deep voice burned their way into his brain.

When silence superseded the singing, Taehyung opened his eyes, ruffling his hair and letting out an amused chuckle with his square smile plastered on his face – just as Jungkook was used of him. It seemed like their argument was already long forgotten, but Jungkook knew that it was tucked away into the box in the back of his mind. By now, he pondered, it must have been close to exploding.

“Hyung...” Jungkook croaked, looking up at him. “I...”

His speech got disrupted by a sob in the back of his throat. As he brought his hand up to his face, it came away wet. He didn't realize he had been crying.

Taehyung's facial expression changed immediately as he saw the tears straining Jungkook's face. Instantly, he sat back next to him, pulling him into a hug.

“Jungkookie, what's wrong?” Taehyung's words were so sincere, despite how Jungkook had treated him all those years. Like a stranger – at least that's how Jimin put it. “Jungkook, talk to me? Why are you crying? What happened?”

For good ten minutes, Jungkook wasn't able to say anything due to the sobs rattling his body. He sat there, his face buried at Taehyung's shoulder, who cradled him in his arms. Just like his mom when he'd been crying all those nights.

“I'm sorry” he finally brought forth, freeing himself from his friend's embrace. “I'm so, so sorry.”

Taehyung let out a sigh, even though a light smile was tugging on the corners of his mouth. Was he glad that his wells finally broke? He raked his fingers through Jungkook's hair, who sniffled and dried his face with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“It's okay” he mumbled soothingly. “We can talk later, alright? Only if you want-”

“Yes!” Jungkook answered in an instant. “I will...I will tell Jimin and you....I will tell you everything, I promise...just don't...” Another sob escaped his lips, and he resembled a small kid. “Don't hate me.”

The brown-haired boy let out a low chortle, his eyes forming into crescents. “As if we ever could, Jungkookie.”

Dalnim

The last few days, Dalnim had spent at the pack's den. As far as she could, she avoided Namjoon and Jin. Former for what he was demanding of her, latter because of his confession and sort-of breakup.

Most of the time, she hung out with Hoseok in her room, the door locked and empty bottles of beer and vodka everywhere. It took her some courage, but she felt like Hoseok deserved some answers, a wisp of truth about her.

When she had doubts about whether he would accept what she had to say – Hoseok crushed all her worries when he had hugged her, telling her hat she was too good to be at a place like this.

Dalnim had even found herself on the rooftop in the middle of the ice cold night, Yoongi sitting next to her, a joint being passed in between them. Something she hadn't done in years.

And every second spent alone, sitting underneath the too hot beam of the shower, all her thoughts revolved around Jungkook. How was he feeling? What was he doing? Did he hate her now?

She woke up early on the morning of the talent show. As she turned around, she looked into the sleeping face of Hoseok, who had one arm wrapped around her waist. It felt comforting. Like when you were small and thought your blanket could protect you from every monster lurking in your room. Hoseok was her comfort. Her guardian angel.

Dalnim got up from her bed, quickly slipping into her usual set of clothes. Before heading out, leaving for her dorm again and preparing for what she had to tell Jungkook, she placed a soft kiss on her best friend's forehead. She felt like she owed him so much. Even her life, maybe.

On her way out, she passed Jin, who just came back from where ever, really. He'd been in and out all the time these past two days, and nobody asked where he was going. Their gazes met for a split-second, but it was enough for her mood to shatter. Unlike her, Jin ignored her completely. No, that would have been an understatement. He looked at her like she was a spec of dust on top of a brand new, black lacquered Baldwin piano.

In front of the door, she took a second to inhale and brace herself for what would, what could, happen on this day. From a window somewhere in the house, she felt two eyes drilling into the back of her head. Dalnim knew without a doubt who was watching her, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of turning around. Turning around meant weakness – and she definitely had been weak enough for a life time these past days.

Later that day, she was just about to head out to stack up on alcohol and instant ramen - and maybe even weed, who knew? - when her phone rang. She stopped in her tracks, right as she exited her room, and peered down onto her display. Faintly, she could hear steps around her, a door closing, hurried feet on the hardwood floor. But her eyes were glued on the phone.

Jimin                            11:32 am

Hey. We tried to hang out with you, but you never opened your door.
In fact, you never replied to any of our texts, so I'm not sure why I'm
even trying. Anyway, after the contest, Taehyung wanted to invite you
to celebrate. If we win or not...whatever. Just us friends, you know?
Tae and I would be glad to see you. Jungkook as well.
See you at the show? Jimin

Dalnim clenched her jaws and pinched her eyes shut to refrain herself from crying. There have been too many tears lately and she was afraid she would die from dehydration if it went on like that.

When she finally snapped out of it, out of the astonishment of being called a 'friend' by somebody else than Hoseok, she stuffed her phone deep into the pocket of her dark jeans. The thick heels of her combat boots clattered loudly as she hastened down the wooden stairs.

The minute Dalnim stepped out, the pace of her steps picked up, and she didn't stop until she reached the bus station. She didn't need to wait long until her bus stopped in front of her. She got on without getting a ticket, she pushed past people to the back of the bus, letting herself fall into a seat. As she looked outside, she noticed the reflection of herself in the window. Her face was red from the cold, and her eyes were glassy from the tears she didn't allow to fall.

Getting off, she wound her arms around her body, but the cold was not only coming from the cold wind, but also from inside her very soul. Not once had she visited this place. Dalnim had considered it a bunch of times, but had always been too afraid of someone from the pack following her.

Seoul National Cemetery, where her family was buried at.

The whole space was covered with light gray, stone gravestone, which looked all the same. The only thing differentiating them from each other were the epigraphs carved in them.

It took Dalnim a while to find where their graves were, and when she finally did, she noticed that all graves around them had candles lit or flowers placed in front of them. But the stones of her family – they were all empty. She knelt down in the snow-covered grass, the fabric of her jeans being soaked immediately, but she didn't care. For half an hour, she just knelt there, staring at the gravestone of her sister.

Yoon Daeun. *February 3rd 1995 †September 11th 2005

Hot tears burned on her face as they ran down her cheeks. September 11th 2005 was the day Dalnim was supposed to die. There were supposed to be four gravestones instead of three. Instead she was brought into an orphanage just three days later.

Dalnim was living in the orphanage for only a month.

All the time she had spent there, living in a room with another girl that wasn' her sister, a girl she didn't care about, she refused to do anything. She didn't visit the school, she refused all sorts of activities and even her food. She had lost a dangerously amount of weight, along with her will to live.

It was after around 4 weeks of staying at the orphanage, when Dalnim had eavesdropped a conversation between the head of the institution and the doctor, that took care of Dalnim.

“Dr. Cha” she had heard the heads exhausted voice. “I'm at a loss of words about her. She won't eat, she won't go to school. She won't even leave her room. All she does is sit on her bed and stare at the blank wall.”

The doctor had sighed, rubbing his temple and clicking his ballpoint pen repeatedly before noting something down.

“Miss Lee, that girl is dangerously underweight. She needs to get stationary medical and mental treatment. She had just lost her family. What do you expect her to do? She's only 10 years old and lost everything,” the doctor retorted.

The head pressed her lips into a tight line, giving him a curt nod. The doctor smiled a little, handing over a clipboard and the pen to her.

“I will need you to sign those transfer papers, then” he said, giving her an encouraging nod. “It will be the best for her, believe me.”

Dalnim watched the head watch, before swirling the pen over the piece of paper and handing the clipboard back. Then, the two adults got up from their seats, and Dalnim knew it was about time to return to her room now. She just slipped back under her covers, the room illuminated only by the dim light of dawn, when the doorknob turned and the doctor walked in.

He softly shook her by the shoulder, and she let her eyes flutter open as if she had really been sleeping.

“Get up and dress yourself prettily” she beamed, a whiff of his cologne causing nausea in the pit of her stomach. “We're going on a trip, Yoon Dasom.”

Later that day, Dalnim pushed through the crowd in the auditorium of SNU, looking for a familiar face in the crowd. Despite the event not starting within the next hour, the place was already packed tightly, everyone wanting to have great seats to watch the contestants.

She had texted Jungkook to meet her here, i