Other cracks → My new fic!!!

He's a greasy guy- an OnChicken tragedy

Keyva VS Shin Se Kyung- back when they were dating and this was funny

This chapter was going to be about the excessive use of pictures, but then this happened.

Step 1: What to write about?

You either need to write a really heartwarming fic about the struggles of mankind and actually write well, or write about whichever group is popular at the time. It’s exo right now, so if you want to be popular you have to write Exo fics!

Step 2: Create a really cheesy female character!

People love fics with females! They love romance fics! They love comedy! So create an OC with an easy name like Maki, or Hana, or Eunhye, something easy like that. Next, search pictures on the internet for ulzzang girls, that means Korean pretty girls! Choose a really cute one with great fashion!  She’s supposed to be relatable to the reader, so make sure she is so beautiful you want to slit your wrists in depression after looking at her in comparison with yourself!

Got it? Great!

Now create some characteristics for her. Use this base!

She has to be multicultural, so include some foreign in her, not just Korean. In the case of Exo, include some Chinese and some sort of English ethnicity! This way she is a good example of what young girls are supposed to be, and she is our goal! Also, wouldn’t that just be awesome? To be able to speak these three languages? Cool!

Next she needs to be really shy, but outgoing! Because we have all forgotten what shy means, we’ll just pretend it means the opposite of diva. Even though she is incredibly shy, she has to make friends with this group of guys, so give her some spiciness as well.

She’s gotta have appeal! Not ty in the sense that her s are falling out of her shirt, but she needs that ability to turn guys on and bring the boys to the yard! Of course she needs to be really skinny and adorable as well!

Smart! Nobody likes to feel dumb, so make her smart, if not average if you think being smart is too much of a stretch (compared to everything else so far).

Lastly, she needs to be popular. That means she is friendly and makes friends easily, but of course she isn’t that social because she has some dark past that is to be revealed in the character profile along with all this other information.

Oh, and she is an orphan.

Step 3: The guys!

You need to know every single bit of information about the group of guys you are going to use that way you can seem like a real fan and spout nonsense into the chapters that other fans will recognize and praise you for. Yay for dumb fandoms!

Make sure to use every single guy in the group, especially for the new groups. Prove that you did your research and are in tune with the fandom even if you have only been in it for the last few months. Especially if this is your first fic!

Give each guy a different personality. One has to be serious, one playful, one adorable, one needs to be babied, one or two a bad boy, one really smart, one incredibly handsome, one sporty, one a diva, one awkward, one your best friend, one a dork. If all else fails, just borrow Super Junior personalities, there are 13, give or take considering M-ness.

It’s very important that their personalities are very distinct in case a reader accidently confuses them because they are newer to the fandom than you. Don’t worry, you can remind the readers at the beginning and end of each chapter with lengthy Author’s Notes!

Each of these guys is going to fall in love with the girl somehow, if just a little. There can only be a few real rivals, and narrow that down to two main guys, and finally, pick your winner. It doesn’t really matter which, because this group is so popular right now, the fans don’t have real opinion.

Remember to get really hot pictures of each of them as well. You will use this information in your ever important Character profile!

Step 4: Put them in a relatable environment

There are only two environments you can choose from, a band fic where the girl somehow becoming an idol or working close to them, or in school. their real ages, they are all now 17!

If they all idols then the girl also has to have talents like singing and dancing and relative control of and stage fright. Other scenarios are that the girl is working as a maid or slave for this group and they are idols. In bandfics, all the guys have to fall in love with her charisma and skill.

The high school fics is much more tedious. High school is very rigid and any change can cause the whole system to collapse in. Because she is multicultural, introduce her through a silly way, like foreign exchange or something. Make sure she starts off as an outcaste with some of the band members bullying her and some others saving her. If the band you chose doesn’t have that many members (must be SHINee) for this task, then choose some other band that isn’t nearly as popular or alluring for the challenge, no fans will be pissed off by this because clearly that fandom is dead.

Anyway, love triangles, kidnapping, , and silly antics, readers love that!

Step 5: Create your Foreword and Description with care

So your description is the area where you tell every single detail that is going to happen. Make sure to tag as many people as you can, even your OC’s name, or “YOU” if it is that type of fic.

Your foreword is for your senseless word babble and your ever so holy CHARACTER PROFILE! Remember those pictures? I’m sure you do! Don’t change the size of them, that ruins the quality, and you’re new to AFF (that stands for Asianfanfics, in case you didn’t know) so you don’t even know how to change the size. What are pixels, omg, you’re so clueless! Also, after posting the picture you need to include their backstory, their personality, their looks (because a picture is not enough) their hobbies, their family relations, their weight, their age, their height, their eye color, their hair color, and anything else you might want to spoil. Why we’re at it, make sure to change the color and font and font size, readers get bored with the same old font every chapter.

Do this for all the characters, even the ever so awesome antagonists. Make sure to include all of that for them too! We’re supposed to either love them by the end of the fic, or wish they were dead.

Your mindless babble is limited to how many fics you have written and how you are so excited to be writing this new one. If you are a returning writer, be sure to mention it with really big bold letters, like so: OH HAI GUISE, I’M BACK WITH ANOTHER FIC!

Finally, because every single word and picture you use is now yours, claim copyright and ask that no one plagiarizes it, just like all the other popular fics out there.

Step 6: Use lots of pictures

Use a picture for everything! A different one for every chapter, then embed them on words, and put them in the middle of the page. Use them to avoid describing things like clothing or rooms. In the case of schools, choose a really European looking one, even if the fic takes place in the heart of Seoul, because you don’t really know any other cities.

Pictures are your life, so only use really high quality pics!

Step 7: Use a lot of random Korean (or Mandarin depending on the band)

Things like Oppa, Noona, Hyung, and Unnie won’t cut it. Go full out with Appa or Abeoji, Umma or Eomeoni. Use cute words like “Aegyo” and “Byung byung.” Use Korean words for everything that isn’t essential for the story! Even some of the essential parts can be in Korean as well! , even use the Hangul if you want to! Because we can all read Hangul! We’re going multicultural es!

Step 8: Never stop writing

That means that whatever loophole you just overcame, there now needs to be another. And update every single chance you can, everyday if possible. Your fic won’t get featured unless there are over 1000 subscribers and 10,000 comments! If you finish the fic, it’ll never get there! That means you have to use every cliché you can think of. One wants to get married? Sure, make sure to add a contract, the possibility of divorce, some y time, pregnancy too. Add a lot of rivals and misunderstandings, and make a lot of enemies for them to face off against.

The fic can never end!

Step 9: Nine seems like a good number

Always be random and completely humble. Try to be the reader’s friend. Leave comments on their wall thanking them for their support and reply to all of their comments. You have to be a spazz with everyone, even your hateful readers. Take trolls lightly, they just hate your popularity. You managed to get popular without any skill whatsoever. They really want you to die. Especially if it is your first fic.