"Jongin's in the hospital."

Kyungsoo nearly chokes when he hears the news. The other members all go silent, their conversation forgotten. Everyone stares at Baekhyun, wide eyed with worry. None of them seem to be able to believe what they just heard.

"What?" Chanyeol asks almost inaudibly. "Baek, don't joke about something like that..."

Kyungsoo thinks he's hyperventilating while he listens to Baekhyun's explanation.

"I'm not joking," he says with an uncharacteristically serious tone. "Taemin found him unconscious on the rooftop at SM."

Kyungsoo isn't able to pay any attention to what happens around him. He's instantly slapped with hundreds of racing thoughts as his heart rate increases. 

How did this happen? What is going to happen to Jongin? How serious is it? He begins to wander down the path of endless 'what ifs'. What if he comforted him? What if he asked him to stay? What if he looked for him sooner? 

Every thought is like a punch to his heart, and he's terrified. He can't help but fear for Jongin's well-being and safety. His heart aches more with each passing moment.

He follows the other members of EXO to their cars in a daze, still reeling from the shock of it all. He feels miserable as he takes the seat next to Joonmyun. He slumps down and buries his face in his hands, half surprised to find it dry of tears. He can't bring himself to look up until Joonmyun gently nudges his shoulder and says, "We're here."

Before he knows it, he's sitting in the waiting room with his band mates and SHINee. He sees Taemin pacing back and forth with misery written all over his features. He looks like he's about to start crying, and Kyungsoo knows that he's not the type to cry easily. He can't bring himself to feel any sort of resentment towards him when he's like this because he completely understands. He's going through the same thing, albeit in a different way. 

The air is still heavy with worry as time inches forward at a maddeningly slow pace. Kyungsoo's panic has subsided for the moment, but he feels like it's just waiting on the periphery of his mind, waiting to attack again the second they receive news. For now, though, he's oddly calm. Maybe even numb. 

But that quickly dies the second he sees a doctor making his way towards them. Instantly, everyone is alert and sitting upright in their chairs. The doctor takes a breath before explaining what happened. "Kim Jongin has sustained a severe concussion and has a torn meniscus in his left knee. He will be hospitalized overnight. Tomorrow, we'll have the results back from the MRI. After we see the results, we'll determine what treatment to use for his knee. As for the concussion, we assume it's severe due to his inability to wake up as of yet."

Oh god. Kyungsoo's heart clenches at the prospect of him not being able to wake up. He's so nervous and worried. His hands are shaking a little when he feels fingers intertwine with his. He looks at their hands and he feels the slightest bit better. It's nice to have support from someone.

His eyes drift back to Taemin when he clears his voice. "Can I see him? Please." His words are desperate, and he looks so broken, like Jongin's health also affects him. Kyungsoo finds it hard to look at him and he wonders if he resembles him. 

"Visiting hours are over," the doctor says remorsefully. "If you'd like to remain here, be my guest and stay as long as you'd like."

Of course. Hospitals always have those rules in place, but Kyungsoo has never understood why. He bites his lower lip and tries desperately to think about something, anything, other than his anxiety about Jongin's health. His eyes wander over to where Taemin sits, nervous and fidgety. He looks like he's half dead, but he downs a cup of coffee to stay awake.

Kyungsoo doesn't know what comes over him, but he walks over to him and offers a hand to help him stand. Warily, he accepts it. "Why don't we take a walk?" he suggests. Taemin looks reluctant, but he nods. Kyungsoo pulls him to standing and ignores all the eyes on them. Together, they start walking in a random direction with no destination in mind. 

Once they're out of earshot, he begins his little spur-of-the-moment speech. "Taemin... It hurts to see this. I'm tired of seeing Jongin in pain, so I'm going to tell you something important. Jongin... I love him so much, you know. I'm doing this for him, not you."

He's so nervous now that he's started. They stop walking and Taemin stares at him skeptically. "He's hopelessly in love with you." There. It's out in the open now. "I'm telling you this because I can tell you're in love with him, too. And he's so confused about how you feel about him that he can't see what I see. He's also not very good at expressing his emotions because he second guesses everything. So... take good care of him, okay? Because I can't keep watching him break down anymore. Even if he doesn't return my feelings, he deserves someone who will take care of him and love him unconditionally. So... please be that."

He can tell that Taemin's at a loss for words. He himself is now drained from the speech, but he feels good. Now there is nothing standing in the way of Jongin's happiness. He has no doubts about Taemin's love for him, and knows he will do his best, even without Taemin's verbal answer. It's written all over his face.

Kyungsoo may hurt now that he's fully faced the truth, but it feels like he's finally done something right by Jongin and that feels great.

He's at peace now with his internal conflicts. He smiles softly at the man his best friend is in love with and suggests that they get more coffee.

…

Taemin's mind is reeling in shock from what Kyungsoo told him. He feels awful because what Kyungsoo said means Jongin had been suffering with the same unrequited feelings Taemin had. The incredibly stupid part is that he never noticed. Taemin always thought he knew Jongin better than he knew himself. How did he miss this?

And he feels horrible, still, because Kyungsoo mentioned watching him break down. Had he broken down the same way he had? The thought of Jongin crying because of him makes him feel sick inside. He regrets hiding his feelings now. Hindsight is 20/20, though. He knows that he had his reasons. He just hates that they seem so invalid now. He wishes so badly that he could go back in time and change things.

Maybe Jongin wouldn't have gotten hurt if he went to Taemin for comfort instead of the studio. He knows he shouldn't put this guilt on himself, but he can't help it. It eggs at the corner of all of his thoughts. The grief, the guilt, the stress, the panic. All of it's getting to him. He alternates between sitting down and drinking endless cups of coffee and pacing the room back and forth. He feels useless and he's scared. 

Jongin's health terrifies him. He googles all he can about the knee injury and discovers that Jongin will probably need surgery. The idea unsettles him and he tries not to pace across the waiting room again. Doubts are forming in his head. They all worry him, but there's one that is the worst of them all.

What if Jongin can no longer dance?

Taemin wants to banish it from his thoughts, but he can't. He's scared of it because that would destroy Jongin. Jongin without dancing isn't even possible. And Taemin doesn't think he could watch if he's in pain all the time, because he knows that Jongin would do it. He'd face the hellish pain every day for his passion, and Taemin wouldn't have the heart to stop him because it's a lose-lose situation.

He hopes it won't happen like that. He read that most people regain normal function of their knee within six weeks. He sincerely hopes that Jongin will be one of them, but only time will tell and it's passing so slowly. 

He downs another cup of coffee and glances out the window. The pale light of early morning starts to creep in, and he realizes that he's the only one still awake. Everyone else is asleep in their chairs, probably too exhausted from worrying or crying. Even Kyungsoo. Taemin half wishes that he was one of them, but he knows he's way past the possibility of sleep. He stands and goes back for more of the hospital's cheap coffee when a nurse taps him on the shoulder.

"Yes?" he asks quietly. He hopes he sounds better than he thinks.

"Visitng hours don't start for another two hours, but I can tell you're very devoted to Mr. Kim," she whispers. "I'll let you in to see him now. If anyone asks, tell them that Ki Seung allowed you in."

Taemin's never been so thankful for anything in his entire life. "Thank you," he replies genuinely. "Thank you so much!"

She smiles softly and leads him to Jongin's room. Within seconds, his heart pounds at the sight of the man he's in love with. The nurse leaves them, but he doesn't hear her leave.

Jongin's head is bandaged and his leg is elevated, but Taemin's never been so happy to see him. He pulls a chair next to his bed and gently intertwines their fingers. "Everything will be okay, Jonginie," he croaks out. "I'm here. I love you, and I'm here." He's not sure if he can believe his own words yet, but he feels a thousand times better now that he can see Jongin with his own eyes.

He squeezes the hand entangled with his and just looks at him. He takes everything in; the soft rise and fall of his chest, the pallor of his skin, the shape of his face. Seeing him eases the heaviness in his heart, and he realizes that he's been overreacting. Things will be okay. If nothing else, they can get past this. Surgery or no surgery, Jongin is strong. Taemin relaxes and leans his head against the side of the bed. His exhaustion is starting to take over.

About ten minutes later, he feels his hand being squeezed. He immediately opens his eyes and looks over at him. "Jongin?" he asks softly. 

A grumble fills the quiet of the room and Jongin stirs for a few moments before opening his eyes. He blinks and looks back at Taemin with groggy eyes. "Taemin?" he asks gruffly.

"Jongin, thank god," he whispers, relieved that he's finally awake. "You're awake."

"What... happened?" he asks in a daze. He looks confused and maybe even a little startled. "Where am I?"

Taemin swallows thickly and decides to play doctor. He needs to know if Jongin's memory is intact. "What is your name?" he asks softly, hoping his voice will sound better.

"Taemin, that's a weird question," Jongin replies, his throat sounding dry and scratchy.

"Just humor me," he says quietly. He wants to be sure everything is okay.

"Kim Jongin," he answers.

"What is my name?"

"Lee Taemin," he says groggily. His eyes still look out of focus. He gently squeezes their interlocked fingers. 

"When were you born?" Taemin's nervous asking these questions, but he needs to know if Jongin's memory's been effected.

"January 14th, 1994. What does this have to do with anything?" he inquires, looking at him curiously.

Taemin's lips tremble as he asks the next question. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three. You're holding up three," Jongin comments impatiently. "Why are you quizzing me?"

Taemin's chest heaves when he sighs of relief. "You have a concussion, Jongin. I'm just checking to see if your memory is intact. So how are you feeling? Is there anything I can get you?"

"Water," he replies quickly. "And you can tell me what happened... I'm not quite sure." He looks scared, and Taemin's heart clenches painfully. He hates seeing him look so unsettled, but he's still just so happy that he's awake and okay. 

He's prepared for the water, though, so he brings a cup of water up to Jongin's mouth. He's determined to be the one to take care of him. Jongin looks like he's about to protest, but he doesn't. Taemin carefully allows Jongin to drink, careful of his head injury.

"I'm not quite sure what happened," Taemin starts as he helps Jongin drink. "I can only give you my guess."

"Please," the younger says softly. His voice sounds better than it did before the few sips of water.

"I think you were upset about the news of Tao, and you went to the studio to dance. At some point, you went outside on the rooftop to dance instead. The rain must have distracted you, because you injured your knee and collapsed. I found you later that day..." By the end of it, he is doing everything he can to sound calm. But his hands are shaking and his voice is trembling slightly. His eyes feel prickly, but not quite watery yet. He's not fooling Jongin.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks, concern furrowing his forehead. 

"I was so worried, Jongin," he answers. "I thought that maybe you were upset with me and didn't want to talk to me anymore. And then I found out that you were missing and I panicked. I didn't know I could feel that much fear, and when I found you like that, I just about had a heart attack..." He's rambling and he feels like a mess. He knows that Jongin shouldn't see him this unsettled, especially after just waking up, but he can't hold it back anymore. "I love you, Jongin. I love you so much."

His eyes widen, and for a split second, Taemin wonders if Kyungsoo had been wrong about Jongin's feelings for him. All fears end the second he sees the incredible smile on his face. "I love you, too, Taemin. I always have."

Taemin smiles a true, genuine smile. It's mixed with so many emotions he can't even begin to sort out. "Please don't ever do this to me again," he whispers, pressing their foreheads together. 

"I won't," he replies, and he tries to hug Taemin. The shorter male immediately does whatever he can to make it easier for him. He stands up and bends down to embrace Jongin without him having to move at all. They stay like that for what feels like an eternity. When Taemin pulls away, he gently kisses Jongin's forehead. 

"Get some rest, okay? I'll be right here," he says softly, looking into Jongin's brown eyes.  

"I'll rest if you do," he says stubbornly.

A small laugh slips past his lips, and he rests his head next to Jongin's arm. He falls asleep to Jongin softly his hair. His heart feels light and the fingers feel wonderful as they lull him to sleep.

…

A few hours later, doctors are in and out. Taemin still sleeps next to him, but the doctors ignore him. They ask Jongin almost the same questions he was asked earlier, but they are robotic compared to Taemin. They check his head frequently, and explain his knee injury to him. He's scared at the idea of needing surgery, but he knows he can do it. So they set up a date for the surgery and tell him what he can do beforehand.

Through all of this, Taemin's asleep. Jongin lets him because he doesn't think Taemin has slept much recently. That, and he loves how Taemin looks while he's asleep. His heart is fluttering every time he looks at his beautiful face. He frowns when he finally notices how haggard he looks, but he knows that he's resting peacefully now, and that's the best he can do.

At some point, Jongin must have fallen asleep again, because when he wakes, Taemin's not there. It's Kyungsoo.

He smiles softly and sits next to Jongin's bed. "Hey," he says. He also has bags under his eyes. "I sent Taemin home to change and get some food."

"Thank you," Jongin says, smiling gratefully. "I was worried about him."

Kyungsoo looks like he wants to say something but isn't sure how to put it into words. Instead of pressuring him, Jongin lets him take his time. "Jongin... I have something to tell you. It's been weighing on my mind lately," Kyungsoo says nervously. 

"What is it?" Jongin asks, happy that his roommate is finally opening up to him. 

"I love you. I love you the way you love Taemin, and the way he loves you. And I have for a long time. But I let you go when I told Taemin everything last night. You two both deserve happiness, and I'm not going to get in the way of that after what I've seen you both go through." 

Jongin swallows painfully. He feels like an idiot for not putting the pieces together sooner, and it makes him feel awful. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, Kyungsoo. I had no idea," he whispers softly, shocked at himself. And he's hit with dread when he recalls how he broke down in Kyungsoo's arms about Taemin. Guiltiness floods his veins, and he tries to find more words to describe how sorry he is. 

"It's okay. You had a lot going on. Just know that I want what's best for you, and you'll always be my best friend. I can move on as long as you're happy with Taemin, okay?"

Jongin still can't believe that he didn't even really suspect this, and he feels like an awful human being. "I'm so sorry, Kyungsoo, I'm so sorry."

He laughs softly. "You don't need to be. I'm okay now. What we all need to focus on is your health. Everything else can wait."

Jongin looks up at Kyungsoo and still feels guilty. When their eyes meet, Jongin realizes that whoever Kyungsoo ends up with will be really lucky. He managed to calm him down and be his soft place to fall, listening to Jongin's heartache, even when he was harboring those same feelings the entire time. Even though he's still sick with himself, he wishes the best for Kyungsoo. But he doesn't know what else to say. "I'm still so sorry, Kyungsoo."

"It's okay, it's okay," his hyung answers. "Just take care of yourself from now on?"

"Okay," Jongin replies, watching him go. He still feels awful about it, but he'll find a way to fix things.

Fatigue eventually takes over again, and the next time he wakes, Taemin is there, sleeping soundly with their hands intertwined. It looks too late to be visiting hours, but it's not like he was going to complain. Seeing Taemin's relaxed and angelic face comforts him. A few swirls of guilt linger in his heart about Kyungsoo, but he knows that his hyung wants him to be happy.

And Taemin most definitely is what makes him happy. He feels the most at ease with the slightly smaller hand in his. In the pale light of the moon, he can't help but stare at him. His black hair is shiny and trimmed to perfection. His nose is cute, and his closed eyes are so distinct. His eyelashes are thick and full, almost girly, but still Jongin finds it hypnotic. His lips look soft and pink and he wonders what it would be like to feel them on his own.

He ghosts his fingers lightly over the features, enjoying the small sensation of the intimate touch. His skin is so smooth and soft against his fingers. He feels light and tingly from the affection he feels towards Taemin.

With him by his side, he can do anything. Jongin falls asleep that night and feels like he's whole for the first time.

Sorry for the long wait! Anyway, if you're interested, I've posted two TaeKai oneshots, one titled "What is Love?" (not based on the EXO song) and the other titled "Something New." "What is Love?" has just a little bit of everything. , angst, romance. "Something New" is just ~ 

One last thing: I take requests through my tumblr! My url is exoel88. Please see my requests page for rules before requesting~

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