The next day, Taemin finds it incredibly difficult to even open his eyes, much less sit up. He wants to sleep the day away because he's still not quite over his emotional breakdown from last night and his head is still throbbing (no doubt from crying so hard.) He has no plans today, so he keeps his eyes closed and rolls back onto his side. He tosses and turns on his lumpy couch, but sleep will not claim him. After twenty minutes of that, he's done trying.

He stands up from his couch slowly and stretches. His muscles ache from sleeping on his old couch. With a yawn, he makes his way over to the kitchen. He's hungry, but he finds nothing of use. Frowning in distaste, he decides he'll have to go out for breakfast. There are so many reasons he doesn't want to go out. For one, he's simply not ready. He doesn't want to run into fans or be followed by the paparazzi while his pain is still so raw.

A sigh slips past his lips and he searches through the cabinets and his refrigerator again to no avail. It's just as empty as the time before, and he goes to his room to grab fresh clothes. He hardly pays attention whether it's even matching. He simply doesn't care right now. Clothes are just clothes, anyway. When he goes to the bathroom with them in hand, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

He looks awful. His hair is flayed all around his head, some stray strands sticking to his forehead. His eyes are puffy and a little red. He notices that his nose is still runny and it looks like he didn't sleep at all. His skin is oily from forgetting to take his makeup off from last night. It's good that he's about to shower, because he's really going to need it. Without another thought, he strips down and steps into his shower. The hot water and steam works wonders on his achy back and puffy face. He simply enjoys the feeling of the water on his body for a few moments before he washes his hair. 

When his shower is over, he dries himself with the towel and wipes away the steam covered mirror. His reflection looks much better than it did ten minutes ago. He changes and brushes his teeth. Within a few minutes, he's ready to go. He's too hungry to care about his wet hair. He locks the front door and makes a mental note to buy groceries after breakfast. When he gets in his car, he notices the clock, and more importantly, the time. It's earlier than he expects it to be. It's almost seven. Did he only sleep for six hours last night? He knows he's going to be exhausted later, but right now, he can't feel anything but the hunger. He drives until he finds a relatively empty restaurant he hasn't been to before.

When he enters the quaint little place, he's instantly hit with the sweet aroma of food. It's a welcome smell, and his stomach is growling. He sits at a table and a waitress comes up to him with a mug and a coffee pot in hand. "Would you like a cup of coffee?" she asks, gesturing to the items in her hands. 

"Yes, please," Taemin replies, glad to have the caffeine. It'll make him more alert. The waitress pours him a cup and asks if he'd like anything else. After glancing at the menu, he decides to order doenjang.

A few cups of coffee and a bowl of doenjang later, he's stuffed but feeling much better with himself. He sits there for a few minutes thinking over his relationship with Jongin. This time, he's much more objective than last night. Last night, he was driven to over dramatic emotions because of his exhaustion, mainly. And it was too fresh at the time.  He realizes a lot of his doubts from the night before are irrational. Jongin would most likely remain his friend no matter what. So wouldn't it be better to talk to him about how he feels? He thinks that he can move past it if he's honest with Jongin and he knows without a shadow of a doubt that there's no chance of a romantic relationship. The source of his pain is the belief that he can't have him because his feelings aren't reciprocated. The thing is, he doesn't know that for a fact. And what if, by chance, Jongin is more than okay with how he feels? What if he returns the same feelings? He knows it's a very small chance, but he can't deny its existence. He also knows that Jongin might put distance between them if it makes him uncomfortable, but Taemin decides that he can't keep harboring these feelings without truly acknowledging them. He thinks he's finally ready to come clean.

He leaves a generous tip for the waitress and gets back in his car to go to EXO's dorm. 

He's not prepared for what he arrives to. He lets himself in as usual, only to find that the air is thick with tension. Everyone is sitting in the living room like they're holding their breath in anticipation. He immediately notices the absence of Jongin, and after a minute, he realizes Kyungsoo is gone, too. As he shifts his weight from foot to foot, he ponders what he should say. Joonmyun beats him to the punch, though.

"Taemin?" the older boy asks, rushing over to him. "Do you know where Jongin and Kyungsoo are? We can't find them anywhere!"

This explains why everyone is so tense. Taemin feels a surge of panic, but quickly tries to diminish it. "Have you tried their cell phones?" he asks logically.

Joonmyun nods seriously. "Neither of them are picking up. We're not even sure when they left. The last we saw of either of them, they went to bed. It was about eleven last night," he answers worriedly. "Nobody saw them leave. Kyungsoo's bed looks slept in, but Jongin's doesn't..."

"Maybe they're not together?" Baekhyun suggests, furrowing his eyebrows, concern evident in his eyes. 

"I'm a little worried," Chanyeol comments quietly. "This isn't like them."

Taemin's trying to stay calm, but his mind shows him all of the worst scenarios. Mainly one involving crazy fans. Especially EXO fans. He's seen them tackle members down, and he shudders at the horrible thoughts. He'll never forget how Jongin injured his waist, either. "I hope they are together," he says, trying to shake off the panic. It won't help him think clearly, and that's exactly what he needs to do right now. "Um, has anyone tried the dance studio?"

"No," Joonmyun says. "Not yet."

Taemin feels an instant relief. "That's probably where Jongin is, at least. Does anyone want to ride with me to check?" he offers to the other members. Joonmyun nods his head. Nobody else really moves forward. Joonmyun says that he'll call them if he finds them. Taemin remains silent as he walks outside after Joonmyun. He's not sure what to say, so he stays quiet. The car ride is short and just a little awkward. Taemin himself is rather shy, and he's not very comfortable around any of the EXO members besides Jongin, at least when they're alone. When they get to the company, they head to the studio together, both speed walking.

It's Taemin who goes in first. He twists the handle to the studio he usually frequents with Jongin. What he sees makes his heart clench. Jongin is there, alright, but he's not how he expects to see him. He's laying on the floor with one arm resting on Kyungsoo's chest and his head pressing against the older's shoulder. Kyungsoo has a hand haphazardly resting on Jongin's hip. They both are still sleeping in a makeshift bed of blankets.

He has no idea what to say or even think. His mind flits from one thought to another in a flash. Why did they sneak out? Are they... together?

Taemin's heart aches more than he would have thought possible as he thinks about the possibility of Kyungsoo and Jongin being a couple. Even if they aren't, they must be really close, and that alone makes his heart thud in anguish. He doesn't ever really think about how close Jongin is with his fellow members because whenever he's around, Jongin gives him his full attention. He doesn't ever do skinship with anyone other than Taemin in his presence. Taemin notes that he does the same thing when Jongin's around him and SHINee. So upon seeing this, Taemin's incredibly jealous. He knows he shouldn't be, but he is, and it makes him venomous. He moves over to the couple and jabs at Jongin's shoulder sharply. Joonmyun gently wakes Kyungsoo.

Jongin groans as he opens his eyes. "Ow," he says childishly. "What was that for?" A frown distorts his features as he rubs where Taemin jabbed.

He tries not to think of how y Jongin's voice sounds when he wakes up in the morning as he replies, "Get up, sleepyhead." He hopes he doesn't sound too annoyed. He doesn't want Jongin to catch on. Not now. Not when he's around other people and certainly not when he might be in a relationship. 

"Ugh," he says, rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Time to get up," Taemin says.

Kyungsoo next to him finally starts stirring until he opens his eyes.

Jongin sits up, and looks around. "When did I end up on the floor?" he wonders aloud.

"I moved you," Kyungsoo answers sleepily. "I found you here last night. You were sleeping in a chair."

Taemin listens to their exchange and feels a little better. Apparently they aren't in a relationship. But that doesn't really make him happy, because it's clear that Kyungsoo takes really good care of Jongin. Those feelings probably indicated that they are in a relationship... or heading there. He also feels a little betrayed that his best friend slept in the studio with Kyungsoo. He still remembers when Jongin slept in the studio with him... He never thought that he would do that with anyone else.

"Thanks," Jongin replies. Is it just Taemin, or is he being ignored? He hadn't even said hello... or really even looked at him.

"Now that you two are found, I guess we can leave now," Joonmyun says as he stands up, pulling Kyungsoo with him.

Taemin offers a hand to help Jongin up, but he stands up alone. The tiny rejection stings, and he needs to leave. He doesn't want to be around Jongin right now because he can't think, and every little thing is setting him off like a bomb. It's not healthy. He's rather trapped for the time being, though, and it doesn't sit well with him.

"You look horrible," Taemin jabs in the best teasing voice he can muster right now.

"I bet I do," he answers dryly. "I was dancing until almost three this morning."

Taemin feels a little sorry because his friend slept less than he did. It's about eight thirty.

"You always overwork yourself," Taemin says, softening a little. He gets the feeling that no matter what, Jongin's well-being will always be a priority in his mind. Even when he's mad like right now.

"I... was upset last night," Jongin says softly. He doesn't meet his gaze, though, and Taemin is left to wonder why he looks so shy, so uncomfortable. Since when did they keep things from each other? He seems distant, and it makes him swallow uneasily.

Nonetheless, he's concerned. "About what?" Taemin asks sincerely, grabbing his hand gingerly. His skin is so warm that it momentarily distracts him. 

"Uh, it's nothing now," the younger replies, but still doesn't meet his eyes. "I'm over it."

You're lying, Kim Jongin, Taemin thinks, but doesn't voice. He's not sure if he himself can handle the truth right now, especially if it has anything to do with Kyungsoo. He drops his hand, trying to control his emotions. He may not want to hear it if Kyungsoo has anything to do with it, but he hates the distance it's creating between him and Jongin. 

"So, um, why are you here, Taeminie?" Jongin asks, clearly trying to change the topic. The nickname makes his heart flutter and he wishes it wouldn't. He also wishes he could get out of spending the day with him, but he has no other reason he'd be here, and any lie would be painfully obvious.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go grocery shopping with me," he answers thickly. "You must be tired, though. I'll understand if you don't want to." He gives him the best sympathetic smile he can muster right now. 

"I'd never pass up an opportunity to spend time with you!" Jongin quickly replies. Taemin feels touched that there is no hesitation in his voice. He smiles at Jongin and finds that his anger and uneasiness is less than it was just moments ago. He realizes that Jongin's always had a calming effect on him, even when he only thought of him as nothing but his best friend. 

"Good. I'll take you back to the dorm first so you can clean up," Taemin says, ruffling the younger's hair. Jongin retaliates by poking his stomach and running off. A genuine laugh escapes his lips as he chases after his best friend. He tackles him and begins to tickle all of his ticklish spots until boisterous laughter fills the air. Taemin loves it that he's the one who made Jongin laugh and smile. It makes his heart feel lighter, and he's happy with it, at least for now. 

He's oblivious to the stares they are given from Kyungsoo and Joonmyun.

…

Kyungsoo feels like the moment was ripped away from him. While he feels touched that the other members worried about their well-being, he's also extremely annoyed. He wonders what might have happened if he had woken up next to Jongin naturally. It might not have been anything romantic, per se, but it might have at least been sweet, and a moment he could cherish.

And now, he'll never know. It's stupid and irrational, but he blames it on Taemin simply because he's the one holding Jongin's attention right now. His heart warms at the sound of his laughter but clenches that it is Taemin who made it happen.

He's still going to stick to the internal promise he made himself last night, but he's finding it too difficult to be in that room, watching those two interact. He drags Joonmyun out of the room with him, practically praying he doesn't figure anything out based on his actions here. But he knows that his face is very expressive when he isn't careful, and his lower lip is trembling. He steels himself, and looks up as if nothing is wrong. He thinks it might be convincing, but the look on Joonmyun's face tells him otherwise. His gaze is sympathetic and not judging. "What's going on here, Kyungsoo?" he asks, though Kyungsoo is positive that he already knows the answer.

He starts crying just then. Joonmyun just hugs him and tells him it's okay, that he'll be okay, and that it'll pass eventually. Kyungsoo breaks down, and it all spills out of his lips. Everything he's kept bottled up until now is suddenly out in the open. He mumbles incoherent thoughts in his haze of his tears. Joonmyun says more words of comfort, but he can't really focus on them because the person he loves is in love with someone else and it's so unfair. 

He hates this. He hates how his heart feels like it's being squeezed to test its limits. The only thing he wants is for the pain to stop. His instincts are telling him to run away and that he needs to get out of there. He doesn't want to face anybody, he just wants to run away to a place he can be alone so he doesn't feel the obligation to lie about anything. He wants to make himself a priority for once because it seems like he's always putting himself last. His heart thumps wildly as he tries to regain a logical thought process. 

Calm down, calm down, he tells himself. He needs to breathe and stop hiccuping for air. Joonmyun simply holds him and pats his back as comfortingly as he can. Now that he's more in control of himself, he leans into the touch and pays attention to the words of comfort. 

"-it's hard, but you'll be okay. You're strong," Joonmyun says softly. "I'm still not sure about everything that's going on here, but just know that that I'm here if you ever want to talk, Kyungsoo. I care about you." 

He's not quite sure how to reply because he doesn't trust his voice at the moment. He nods his head slightly and wipes away the tears that linger on his cheeks. He knows he needs to calm down and prepare himself to face Jongin soon, so he focuses on his breathing. Inhale, exhale. He keeps a steady rhythm and hugs Joonmyun tighter. Joonmyun feels like his anchor to reality right now; the only sturdy thing to depend on. He himself feels like he's made of fragile glass, ready to break at the slightest touch. The feeling doesn't sit well with him, but the comfort of another person makes his heart feel less heavy. 

After a few minutes, Kyungsoo has collected himself. He's positive he looks terrible, but if anyone asks, he'll say allergies or lack of sleep.  Joonmyun eyes him carefully as if he's silently checking up on him.  All he says is a heartfelt thank you to which Joonmyun responds by slinging an arm over his shoulders and saying 'anytime.'

They return to the dance studio. Jongin and Taemin are dancing intensely to Pretty Boy. Unfortunately for him, his eyes zero in on the way Jongin's hips move during the chorus. He looks up towards his face and tries not to feel disappointed that Jongin didn't even acknowledge that he's returned. He wants to interrupt them to be spiteful, but when he sees the smile that lights up Jongin's features, he doesn't have the heart to do it. His own heart aches when he looks to the other's eyes because they are glued to Taemin's reflection in the wall length mirror. They both look like they're lost in their own private world, and he wonders how much more his heart can take. 

He honestly tries to ignore how perfect they are together, but it's impossible when they both look alight like this. Their voices, their looks, their styles, their dancing... All of it is like it is made to match the other. He's not sure if he's ever seen such a perfect match before, and it hurts too much. The second the song ends, Kyungsoo snaps, "Can we go soon? I'm starving."

He gets everyone's attention. Jongin and Taemin share a look as if they are communicating with eyes rather than words. Joonmyun just looks at him with sympathy. After he's done silently communicating with Jongin, Taemin smiles at Kyungsoo and says, "My treat. I'll buy everyone except Jongin breakfast!"

Jongin playfully slaps Taemin's shoulder and says, "Jerk!"

In a sing-song voice, he replies, "Just kidding." He sticks out his tongue at the youngest. "I'll buy you breakfast, too. Everyone to my car."

Joonmyun smiles and thanks Taemin sincerely before following Kyungsoo out the door. Jongin (always the first in the studio and the last to leave) holds the door for Taemin and follows him out after he turns the lights off.

Kyungsoo wishes that Taemin wasn't such a nice guy, because it's hard not to like him by his personality. He thinks if it wasn't for his feelings for Jongin, he'd probably like Taemin a lot and look up to him more.

He follows Joonmyun to Taemin's car and waits for the 'couple' to catch up. As much as he doesn't want to watch them, he finds himself watching them as the play around. Jongin tugs on Taemin's hair and runs ahead. "Your hair's getting long again," he teases. "Noona."

"Hey!" he yells, chasing after his friend. With Jongin's long legs, he's far ahead of Taemin. "Not fair. You're too tall!" he whines. Jongin's laughter is all Kyungsoo can hear as they approach. When Taemin finally catches up, he lets everyone in the car. "Jongin, I'm going to get you back for that."

"You couldn't even catch me!" Jongin teases playfully.

"But now you're in my car, and I can boss you around," Taemin answers, just as playful as Jongin. There's a gleam in his eyes whenever he looks at the youngest of them, and he's not sure how long it's been there. Now that he's noticed it, he can't not notice, no matter how much he tries. He can't tell if he wants it to be there or not, because he knows how Jongin feels, but he also knows his own emotions. He wants to be the one to be by his side, not Taemin. It's an impossible situation because either way, someone's hurt by it.

Kyungsoo shakes his head and tries to not feel like a third wheel. He wonders if Joonmyun is doing the same thing... It's going to be a long breakfast, he thinks as he stares out the window from the backseat glumly. He wishes he had his phone and headphones with him so he wouldn't have to listen to Jongin and Taemin's conversations. The idea of chatting with Joonmyun crosses his mind, but he honestly can't think of anything to say right now, so he remains silent and tries to focus on the scenery outside.  

It's impossible to ignore the conversation in front of him, even when he's doing his best to tune it out. "I want fried chicken," Jongin says, no longer teasing Taemin (to Kyungsoo's relief.)

"You always want fried chicken," Taemin counters. "What do you two want?" he asks Joonmyun and him through the mirror.

Kyungsoo shrugs his shoulders. "I'm okay with anything." 

Joonmyun nods and says, "Same here. Whatever you'd like, sunbaenim."

"No need for formalities. We aren't on camera and I'm younger than you," he answers. "And I already ate breakfast. So I guess we'll go where Jongin wants to go."

"Taemin, you don't have to buy us breakfast!" Jongin says. "Especially if you've already eaten!"

"I want to. It's not a problem," he says with a smile. "It's been a while since I spent time with people other than SHINee and you."

Kyungsoo tries to not scoff at his comment. Joonmyun and him may be in the car with him, but the only person he's even tried to converse with is Jongin. He's not sure if Taemin is doing it on purpose or if it's because both him and Joonmyun are both rather quiet and he doesn't know how to approach them, but it's painfully obvious to him how comfortable he is with Jongin. The thought unsettles him because he's never been able to feel that relaxed around his roommate, despite his best efforts.

Watching the two of them, Kyungsoo tries to figure out if Jongin's emotions really are as one sided as he made them seem. Kyungsoo originally agreed with Jongin about his feelings being unrequited, but now he's not too sure. Taemin dotes on Jongin more than best friends would, and there's that look in his eyes whenever he looks at the younger member. Also, he acted so moody earlier when they first woke up. That had to have been jealousy. There is no other word to describe that, right? Or is he misinterpreting things again?

He's not sure of anything, and now he's confusing himself even more.

There's only one thing he's sure of, and it's the one thought that crosses his mind that doesn't make him feel as miserable with himself. 

I'm going to be there for Jongin, no matter what comes of his relationship with Taemin. Those words are still true to him. It may hurt like the blade of a knife, but Jongin is worth it.

But Kyungsoo does need to think of himself, too. As he sits in the car, he thinks of ways to give himself space from Jongin to collect himself and reevaluate the situation. He knows that it's impossible to do while seeing him every single day... and sharing the same room. Perhaps he should get his own place and relax a little. It's reasonable to want his own apartment, and the money is no problem. It might upset some of the members of EXO, but he needs to stop putting himself at the bottom of his priority list. Despite knowing that he needs to think of himself, he can't help but worry about how this will affect Jongin in particular.

Jongin's never done very well with big changes. He spent months moping around after Kris and Luhan left the group. Not that Kyungsoo intends to leave permanently, it's just... he knows how he'll feel about it. And Kyungsoo will feel guilty because Jongin will be left in the dark. Telling him about his feelings are out of the question at this time. It's not even a possibility. He doesn't want to complicate their relationship more than it already is. So that means Jongin will feel rejected and hurt by his decision. 

He doesn't want this. Hurting Jongin should never be a part of his plan. Ever. But what else can he do? He's not ready to explain himself, and he can't stay in an environment that's unhealthy for him. Jongin wouldn't want that for him, anyway. 

He feels sick with himself when they finally arrive at the place they'll eat breakfast. As they are getting out of the car, Joonmyun's phone rings. Kyungsoo isn't sure who it is on the other end of the call, but he quickly figures out it's the rest of their members.

"I'm sorry I forgot to call," Joonmyun answers. "Yeah, Taemin and I found them. They were sleeping in the dance studio." A pause fills the air before he replies again. "Apparently Jongin was upset and he went to the dance studio without telling anyone. Kyungsoo went to look for him." Another pause. Jongin's face looks a little flushed, no doubt from the conversation Joonmyun is having. "No, I think he's okay now."

Jongin hides his face behind Taemin's shoulders in embarrassment.

"I'm fine," he says. "It really was nothing!"

Kyungsoo knows it wasn't. He doesn't challenge it, though. There's no need to deny Jongin's words and start up more drama. He's already had enough for a lifetime, he honestly needs to do all he can to avoid more. 

HIs eyes don't miss how Taemin nudges Jongin softly and places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He leans in and whispers something into Jongin's ear. Kyungsoo doesn't think he was supposed to hear, but he did. "If you ever want to talk, you can always call me. I'm here for you, Jonginie. Always."

It may have been innocent, but it's like every little thing is a match setting him on fire. Was it Taemin that was there for Jongin last night when he was sobbing into his shoulder? No. It wasn't. It was Kyungsoo. So no, Taemin won't always be there. Not when he's the source of heartache and pain. Kyungsoo grinds his teeth together and clenches his fists. Even if Taemin's in the dark and has no clue about the pain he's causing, he still can't stifle his anger down. All these mood changes are driving him insane. All he wants is to go back to the dorm and stay in there for the rest of eternity. At the very least until he's calmed down. 

But no. He's stuck there, in some random restaurant, having the most awkward breakfast of all time. 

They are seated and everyone orders. Kyungsoo manages to tune out Taemin's story telling (something about being here this morning?) by looking over the menu intensely, really trying to hear the words in his head. He also thinks over his options and soon, the waitress comes over and interrupts them anyway. He orders his food, and calms down a little. Soon, it arrives and he realizes just how hungry he really is as he takes in the delicious smells. Since he's finally distracted, he relaxes much more and chats a little with Joonmyun.

Taemin and Jongin carry on a conversation, but Kyungsoo can ignore it fairly well. Before he knows it, the breakfast is over. Only Jongin is still eating, which is no surprise. He's always had such a large appetite, and he ordered a second dish. 

Just when Kyungsoo starts feeling better, another thing sets him off. Jongin has some crumbs on his chin and Taemin tenderly brushes them off, not missing the opportunity to brush his lips. 

As his fists clench in a rising storm of emotions, Kyungsoo notices a hand is now gently resting on his knee, no doubt from Joonmyun next to him. He isn't paying attention to him much, though. His focus is on the way Jongin blushes and looks away from Taemin like a flustered girl.

He finds it so endearing because it's truly an adorable sight, but he can't stop seething with jealousy. It makes him want to punch Taemin so incredibly bad. He resists the urge, though, because he knows that would start drama he doesn't need or want. 

Imagining it is enough for right now. He sits there glaring at the table and bites his tongue. A few minutes later, they're leaving. The car ride is filled with more useless and girlish chatting from Taemin and Jongin that he tries to ignore. The ride seems to take centuries, but eventually they arrive at the dorm. Immediately, he's overwhelmed with the reactions of his band members. Some of the guys hug Kyungsoo and Jongin. Some of them scold them. Others look like they're just dying to find out what happened.

Jongin is the one who is bombarded with questions first. Kyungsoo knows Jongin hates being the center of this kind of attention, so he tries to get them to back off a little. "Guys give us a break! We barely got any sleep. I'll tell you whatever you want to know later, okay?"

Jongin shoots him a grateful smile, and Kyungsoo realizes it's the first time today that he feels like Jongin's actually paying any attention to him.

Joonmyun smiles at the other members and says, "Kyungsoo's right. You should at least let them get changed and showered before attacking them with questions."

Finally free of the spotlight for a few moments, Kyungsoo and Jongin make a run for it to their room. Taemin follows them silently. Jongin's rather quiet, too. Kyungsoo decides to head to the bathroom instead of the room, because he can finally have space from them now, and he's going to utilize it. 

He sheds his clothes and showers immediately. The hot water burns his skin, but it's not hot enough at the same time. He turns it up higher and higher and then the bathroom is filled with steam. It feels great against his skin, and he feels his muscles relax.

The heat feels like it's cleansing him emotionally, while the water cleans him physically. For the first time in a few days, he feels at peace.

…

Jongin's heart has been fluttering and pounding all day. Taemin's presence has his emotions all over the place, definitely, but spending time with him makes him so happy. It makes him feel so much better than yesterday, like it was just a bad dream. He forgets the pain when he's actually spending time with him laughing and smiling. He tries not to think about how it'll feel when he goes home, because reality will crash in on him like a ton of bricks. He unknowingly shakes his head to clear it of the negativity. He's with Taemin now, and he's so unbelievably happy. Days like these are the reason he's so hopelessly in love with him to begin with. 

He has it so bad for Taemin, it's unreal. And when Taemin brushed the crumbs off of his chin and lips earlier, his heart was pounding and his face flushed scarlet. He's never felt that flustered around Taemin before, and he hopes that he wasn't too obvious... 

Taemin seems more than okay with his reaction though. When they are in the privacy of his room, Taemin lays on Jongin's bed and says, "You're so cute, Jonginie. How do you do it?"

The younger blushes as he digs around for something nice to wear. "I'm not that cute," he replies. "You're the cute one, Taeminie!"

"Shut up! I was trying to give you a compliment," Taemin says as he throws a pillow at Jongin.

"Hey!" Jongin exclaims, picking it up and going to Taemin with the pillow in his hand. He hits him back, and the older retaliates by grabbing another pillow and swings at Jongin. Both of them are laughing and hitting each other, and Jongin feels so carefree and exhilarated. He can't even remember the last time he felt this way.

He collapses on the bed. "You win, Taeminie. I'm tired," he says breathlessly.

Taemin lays next to him, but lays on his side so he can look at him. Jongin tilts his head to look at his eyes. Taemin's eyes have always been beautiful to him, and he loves getting lost in them. Taemin looks as if he's struggling to put something into words, and the vibe changes from carefree to serious. Jongin's pulse begins to pound in his ears, and he anticipates what he'll say next. 

"Jongin... I have a serious question to ask you," Taemin starts, swallowing nervously.

He wants to reassure Taemin, so he also sits on his side and moves his hand to the older's shoulder. "Go ahead and ask me anything," he answers softy. Their faces are so close that he feels the need to whisper.

Taemin takes a deep breath and then starts his question. "Are you... gay?" he asks almost inaudibly.

Jongin stiffens because that isn't what he expected. He feels way more nervous than before and doesn't know how to answer. He's never really thought of his feelings for Taemin in that sort of way.

He's always thought of it as more of a special exception that he fell in love with Taemin. He has been attracted to girls, too, so he has no idea how to answer the question. He also doesn't want Taemin to think he's weird... And what if it makes him uncomfortable?

"No," he says finally. "I'm not." He's not sure how convincing it is, though, because it hadn't been immediate. He thought about it first.

"You're lying," Taemin says almost uncertainly. "Jongin, please be honest." He looks really nervous and Jongin gets the impression that this question has a lot of significance.

He takes a shaky breath and answers, "I might be. But... I'm confused. I've been attracted to girls before, but... I... I'm not sure of it. I'm not completely straight..." His heart is pounding obnoxiously in his nervousness. This is so, so, so hard for him. He's never been good at expressing himself, but he's falling apart now. His words aren't cooperating with him. He hates how he feels right now. This is a scary topic to share with Taemin, especially when he's not prepared for it. It's uncharted territory between them. "Um... why do you ask?" he asks in a whisper. This is equally as terrifying to him. 

Taemin turns away from him, uncharacteristically shyly. "Because I am. I... I was worried that you would be uncomfortable."

Jongin feels relief flood his system. Taemin doesn't want a girl. And Jongin isn't a girl. Could that mean...?

"I'm always here for you, Taeminie. That will never change. And-"

The door opens suddenly, and it's Kyungsoo... wearing only a towel. Taemin reflexively moves away from Jongin and sits a good foot away from where they just were. "I'm... sorry. I'll leave you to change!" he says as he stands to leave.

Jongin is about to follow him out when Taemin turns around and puts a hand on his chest. A flash of uncertainty crosses his features and he retracts his hand, like he's crossed some unspoken barrier. "Um... you need to shower and change, too. I'll wait for you in the living room. We can finish our talk in private." Jongin wants nothing more than to grab his hand and hold it because he doesn't like the awkwardness in the air. 

"Are you sure?" he asks, looking at him, trying to convey his reluctance. He hates that they were interrupted. 

Taemin nods uncertainly, but leaves the room anyway, eyeing Kyungsoo nervously. Jongin doesn't understand that look, but he decides to do what the older wants. "Okay," he says quietly. The sooner he showers and changes, the sooner they can leave and be alone to continue their conversation.

After the door closes, he grabs out a shirt Taemin once said looks good on him. He finds the matching pair of jeans while Kyungsoo changes. Jongin doesn't even really look at him because he's starting to get the feeling that something bigger than he knows is going down here. He doesn't know how to handle it, either. So keeping his eyes firmly locked on his clothes and the ground is his safest bet for now.

But then he realizes that now might be a good time to figure out what's going on with Kyungsoo, and why he's been upset lately. So he asks, "Are you okay?" He finally looks up to meet his gaze. He's already half dressed, anyway.

"I'm fine," Kyungsoo replies, immediately avoiding eye contact. "The shower is all yours." It's a normal comment, Jongin thinks, but his voice is slightly strained.

"You can talk to me about anything, you know. I might be a hypocrite, but that's only because I'm better at listening to other people than expressing my own emotions," he says thoughtfully, trying to make it clear that he's here if he needs to talk. 

"You should go," Kyungsoo says, his voice still strained. "Taemin's waiting for you."

Jongin feels a sting in his heart. Here he is, honestly trying to reach out and comfort a friend who's been there for him, and he's being shut out. He stands and exits the room, unsure of what else to say so he says nothing at all.

His shower is brief and short. He's eager to get out of the dorm because he feels suffocated in there. Once his skin is clean and smells like his coconut body wash, he changes and decides to let his hair air dry. He pushes open the slightly squeaky door and double checks to make sure he has his wallet and phone. Thankfully, he has both. He meets Taemin in the living room with a smile.

His heart flutters when he hears Taemin's laughter. He loves the sound so much. It brings him a lot of happiness. "Hey. I'm ready whenever you are," he says with a smirk.

His eyes don't miss the way the older looks away with some blush hinting at his cheeks. Jongin realizes that he might look hot in what he's wearing... not to mention the wet hair that still clings to his forehead. The thought that he was the one to put blush on Taemin's cheeks makes him feel buzzed with energy and excitement. Jongin's finally starting to catch on that his affection and admiration for Taemin isn't completely one-sided. Is it possible that Taemin likes him as more than just a friend? The thought makes him so happy, but now new fears are entering his mind.

What if they do try out a relationship, and it backfires? What would the company do? Would the company try to keep them apart? And who would they tell, if anyone?

Jongin can't only think of his attraction. He can't be selfish. EXO is finally doing well again... They're back, and a scandal is the last thing they need. Same for SHINee. If they do try a relationship, it would have to be incredibly discreet. There are already rumors around... This would just amplify them.

As they get into the car, though, Jongin decides that he'll just have to wait and see. He's been overthinking things too much lately, and it's nothing but a headache for him. Besides, Taemin hasn't made himself clear about anything in particular.

"Hey, Jonginie, are you okay? You're spacing out on me," Taemin says, looking over at him with uneasy concern written on his face.

He just smiles and says, "Sorry, just thinking. So what are we doing today?"

Taemin looks like he wants to say something more important, but he goes with the topic change for now. "Grocery shopping for sure. My kitchen is a barren wasteland."

Jongin laughs and says, "That doesn't surprise me. You never remember to shop for groceries until it's completely empty."

Taemin smiles genuinely, and it makes Jongin's heart pound. That ing adorable and y smile has him going crazy. If this keeps up, he's not sure how he can keep himself in check. He's always so clouded and confused about his emotions with Taemin around, and while he hates it, he can't bring himself to hate spending time with him.

"Jongin, um, about earlier... I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I know I said it earlier, but I really mean it."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. I mean what I said, too. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You're gay? Who cares. It doesn't change anything for me. I'll always be your best friend, your shoulder to cry on, your soft place to fall. Nothing can change that. Taemin, your uality... it doesn't make me uncomfortable. You're still Taeminie and you always will be," Jongin states, rather in shock of himself. The words flowed so naturally, and he usually struggles with expressing his emotions. Maybe he's not as confused as he thinks around Taemin. Maybe things are actually pretty clear.

A small tear leaks out of the corner of Taemin's eyes, and Jongin immediately wonders why. He gently brushes it away, and hopes he doesn't distract the older from driving safely. "What's wrong?" he asks softly.

Taemin pulls the car over and takes a moment to breathe. It's an extremely rare sight to see Taemin crying. He's only ever seen it once before. "They're happy tears, believe me. I was just so worried you'd reject me... The relief is overwhelming. Nobody but you knows about my uality, and I was so scared that I'd be judged harshly..."

"Taeminie, I could never push you away," he replies, gently interlocking their fingers. "You mean everything to me." His heart is pounding furiously now, and he wonders if Taemin can hear it.

He's suddenly thankful that Taemin's car has the darkest tinted windows around. Nobody but them will know what happens here, but it's also dangerous. He wants so badly to press his lips to those beautiful ones in front of him. He wants to kiss away the tears and make him laugh and smile, but uncertainty holds him back.

Taemin looks to him and appears to be thinking the same, which immediately confuses him even more. Are his feelings reciprocated? He holds the heated gaze from Taemin and unconsciously leans closer until mere inches separate their faces.  

"Jongin," the older starts, but is rudely interrupted by the younger's cell phone ringing. It startles them both, and they startle upright in their seats. 

Why are they always interrupted?

"Uh, you should get that. I'll start driving again," Taemin says as he wipes at the few tears on his cheeks. 

Jongin wants to protest, but it's Joonmyun, and if he ignores the call, he's bound to be scolded when he gets home. He's done being the center of attention, so he says, "I'll see what he wants. I want to continue our conversation, though."

Taemin just nods and keeps his eyes on the road while Jongin answers. "Hello?"

"Jongin-ah, we have a bit of a problem," his hyung says kind of annoyedly.

"What is it?" he asks.

"The managers mixed up the day of our interview," he says. "It's today, not tomorrow. We're already late. Could you meet us at the studio?"

Jongin really doesn't want to, but the managers will have his head if he doesn't show up. A sigh slips past his lips, and he notices Taemin glance at him. "Fine. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Sorry," Joonmyun says. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

"Don't worry, hyung, you didn't," he lies easily over the phone.

"Okay, I'll see you soon then," Joonmyun says with finality.

"Yeah, bye," he says before they hang up.

"What was that about?" Taemin asks, already somewhat sure of what his answer will be.

"Our managers mixed up the date of an interview we're scheduled for. It was supposed to be tomorrow, but I guess it's today."

"When?"

"Now," Jongin answers with another sigh. Sometimes his schedule is hectic, and it's hard to get used to plans being cut short.

Taemin understands because this has happened to him before. Jongin can tell that the older hates it just as much as he does. Taemin nods and changes the direction, his face annoyingly neutral. They aren't far from the studio, so it's only a few minutes drive. Jongin's trying to figure out what to say, but he draws up a blank. His unusual moment of being able to express his emotions has passed, and everything's confusing again.

Both boys are quiet in the car. Jongin hopes that the next time he sees Taemin, they won't be interrupted. 

"I'll text you whenever it ends. Maybe we can get dinner?" Jongin asks, hoping the older male says yes.

"Sure. See you later, Jonginie," Taemin says softly. "I'll be watching on TV!" Just like that, most of his worries are brushed away.

Jongin smiles and waves goodbye. "Thanks for the ride!"

He goes into the studio with the smile still on his face.

Thanks for reading! I can't believe the response my story's received so far. A thousand times, thank you!! You all make me so happy~

Oh, and if you're interested, I posted a TaeKai  oneshot called More Than Just . It's , but it's super fluffy and romantic!