Unpublished, Unwritten, Unloved, (0)

All he wanted was flowers but I never gave him one.

It has been five months since I started a routine. Wake up at 7, prepare something to eat at 8, visit the hospital at 9.

Upon arriving, I always replace the single red rose on the vase situated on top of the bedside table. I enver forget to bring a new one every time –everyday. I read a story by 10 in the morning then the doctors come in at 11 to check the vital signs. That's the time I grab my lunch. By 2 pm, it's either I meet a familiar face or a new one enters.

There will never be a day that will go by that I won’t read something. I felt the need to. I make it a point to read a couple of phrases or a full length story even though I have been repeating the same things for a couple of times. Sometimes, people listen when I read and they wait until I finish, some will leave half way to meet other appointments, some will request that I’ll continue the story once they get back. There are times when the nurses drop by to listen even after their shifts.

By 6, a nurse comes along to check him once more - that's the time I eat my dinner. I go home at 10 then I sleep. And when I wake up - I do it all over again.

People, unbeknownst to them, are always on a routine. They fall in love, they get hurt, they stand up, they fall in love again and the habit continues, whether they agree to it or not until they found that one special someone who will mess up the routine – completely.

I have loved and fallen out of love several times.

I am Park Chanyeol and my greatest love is Byun Baekhyun.
The first time I met Baekhyun it wasn’t like those scenes in a movie where everything becomes magical. There are no butterflies in my stomach; I didn’t feel the padum padum. The first time we met, it wasn’t really special. He’s just Byun Baekhyun – a classmate.

We started as classmates and eventually became friends – he’s the loud guy in class whose friends range from the president of the student body down to the guy who’s a regular student-can’t really determine if he’s a student because he’s rarely in class. I’m the introvert who rarely speaks to the persons I am not friends with but I’m a fun guy to the persons I’m closest with. I have 5 friends – that’s about it. The rest are just acquaintances.

They say love moves in mysterious way but I don’t believe in songs or the lyrics for the broken-hearted persons.

Byun Baekhyun is not overly popular but many students in the campus know who Baekhyun is. He’s the social guy who everyone adores.

Sometimes Baekhyun volunteers to do our assignments because he has nothing to do. One of my friends thinks he’s cute. But I don’t, he’s just Byun Baekhyun – the nice loud guy Byun Baekhyun.

I remember Baekhyun being super close to one of my friends, Sehun; they claim to be best of friends. Baekhyun has a lot of best friends – I really couldn’t determine who the first in rank is. And because Baekhyun has a lot of friends, I often see him on every place in the campus – running around to help a friend design a layout for the banner for the campus fair. And then he is in the faculty room, helping the professor arrange the dean’s list. Baekhyun is always on the move but his smile never once faltered.

But again he’s just Byun Baekhyun - the nice, helpful, loud guy Byun Baekhyun.

They say love will suddenly make you realize everything that has been missing in your life but I don’t believe in such, love is a decision not a choice and it’s definitely not related to realization.

I remembered ther, it’s when Sehun had said Baekhyun will help us make the project for our History subject. Baekhyun was supposed to help only Sehun but I joined them because I really need to pass History and getting creative isn’t one of my strong points. Upon reaching Sehun’s house, I wasn’t really surprised when Baekhyun said he had finished the project and all we need to do was just to cut out the remaining pieces and add up a few little descriptions. Baekhyun does that the best. I think Sehun and I both felt guilty because Baekhyun basically did all the work, we volunteered to finish but Sehun had said I should just entertain Baekhyun by being his opponent on Sehun’s newest gaming console.

Of course, I was an expert in the game and Baekhyun was a newbie but I let him win a couple of times because I had fun watching his reactions every time he beat the crap out of me in the game. Those were priceless.

But at the end of the day, still, he’s just Byun Baekhyun – the nice helpful fun loud guy Byun Baekhyun.
After that day, Baekhyun talked with me a lot more often than before. I didn’t find it suspicious or anything because Baekhyun talks with a lot of people. And a lot, I mean – all the students in the campus. Among my group of friends, he’s closer to Sehun and Kai. I’m just another friend among his gigantic circle of friends. Eventually, Baekhyun and the usual friends on his side join our lunch table. I don’t mind.
They say love isn’t something you find, love is something that finds you.

There came a time when I was suddenly romantically and accidentally paired up with someone by my peers. It started as a joke because I was the quiet one and there’s this one guy who has talked with me – everything began with little teases and then eventually I, myself didn’t realize I’m suddenly investing in those simple tales.

I was the quiet – sometimes - the funny guy in class and an issue started to arise that I have a thing with our classmate Do Kyungsoo. My friends set me up on dates with Kyungsoo which I do not agree beforehand. Sometimes, I find myself alone with Kyungsoo in a room and then there’s no other choice but to talk because he always lead us to conversations And then I got used to it. I got used to the feeling that Kyungsoo is with me, that we talk with each other. Slowly, we begin to converse even after class, we exchange numbers and started texting and somewhere along the way, I fell.

There was this one time in class where Kai had brought a bouquet of flowers so I can give it to Kyungsoo. My friends are supportive to the point that I really don’t need to exert an effort because they do things for us, Kyungsoo and I, so our relationship or whatever we have will work. On my peripheral view I saw Baekhyun cheering for me and Kyungsoo– genuinely cheering for us because Baekhyun is friends with Do Kyungsoo. And Baekhyun always supports his friends.

I really don’t mind because Byun Baekhyun is Byun Baekhyun – the nice helpful fun supportive loud guy Byun Baekhyun.

According to a popular belief, love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.

It has been months since I was going out with Kyungsoo but we really aren’t together – we just practically hang out and spend time together – no kissing, no hugs – we held hands – once.
And then everything started to fall apart when Kyungsoo moved away from the city because it’s summer vacation. I was sad but that’s it. I haven’t exerted effort in paying him a visit. That’s just who I am – I don’t do extravagant stuffs. I’d rather spend my vacation at home with my family than to go out and chase a guy on another city.
The next school year started, Kyungsoo came back but we were over or the thing about us whatever that is was over. And I’m okay. I’m still the silent-sometimes funny guy in class.

The day I saw Baekhyun again was the time he was alone in a room completely engrossed in his laptop. I hated to stay at the cafeteria because it gets loud and I want some place that’s quiet, so I had no other choice but to join Baekhyun in an empty classroom.

When I enter, he casually smiled; the smile he gives to everybody, the Byun Baekhyun you are a friend smile and he said the moment he saw me, “Hey, Chanyeol!”

“Hi” I replied and sit at the far end of the room giving Baekhyun his space because I might have disturbed him.

Surprisingly, he stopped whatever he was doing and started a conversation with me. “Have you watched Ong Bak?”

There’s an evident confusion written on my face, maybe, that’s why Baekhyun laughed.

“The action movie with a lot of killing and slashing and it’s awesome.” Baekhyun explained while pointing to his laptop signaling that I can watch the movie with him.

Of course I know the movie, I have watched it and I have a dvd collection of it.

“Yes” I answered, “I watched all 3 of those”

Baekhyun’s eyes grew wide, “Three?” he said. In absolute disbelief, he uttered, “I didn’t know there are three.”

I don’t know what got me because I don’t usually offer kindness to anyone but something in me pushed me, “I have the dvds at home, I can lend them to you.”

Baekhyun’s reaction was priceless, “Oh my God, are you sure? Are you really sure?”

How can I say no?

“I’ll bring them over tomorrow.” I said and Baekhyun muttered a thank you. People started arriving and Baekhyun’s clique snatched his attention and I remained on my seat while waiting for Sehun and the others.

That night, I received a text message from an unknown number, “Don’t forget Ongbak” It said. I smiled, the sender forget to write his name, if it weren’t for Ong Bak, I wouldn’t have guessed it was from Baekhyun.

“I won’t.” I replied.

That day Byun Baekhyun is still Byun Baekhyun – the nice helpful fun supportive silly loud guy Byun Baekhyun.

We started communicating through text regularly - although we haven’t really talked much in person, we pretty much know everything about each other. It’s fun – I’m happy when I get to receive texts from him.

From Baekhyun:
Watcha doin?

To Baekhyun:
Watching television, you?

From Baekhyun:
Watching animes, hahaha!

The conversation are light ones ranging from the things we did the whole day or what had happened to a television show we both liked. Everything is basically simple – but worth every penny I spend on text credits.

The first time I saw Baekhyun cry was just an accident. I was passing by the library when I saw his group of friends circled around him. And there he was, crying his heart out. That night, Baekhyun didn’t text me. It was okay, maybe he was having a bad day.

It has been several days since he last text me, we haven’t really been talking in class lately – he seemed not the usual Byun Baekhyun. I got curious but I didn’t want to text him so I still waited for the day that he will – just like the other times.

And then after a week, one message from Byun Baekhyun appeared on my phone screen. It was a simple hey and he said sorry he wasn’t been able to text too much because there were some things he dealt. I wanted to ask what was it but I decided not to, I don’t want to pry into his personal matters.

That night, it’s the first time he called me. I was hesitant to answer at first because I thought it was a mistake but the phone continued to ring while the screen flashed Baekhyun’s name.

“Hello?” I said and Baekhyun replied with a loud laugh.

It started from there where we no longer just communicate through text but Baekhyun calls me every night too. Our conversations are always the same but different at the same time. We start casually to, “what are you doing?” and then he’ll tell me the newest book he has read or the frustrations he has to every single one of the bastards in class.

Our closeness ensued but he’s still Byun Baekhyun.

After months of late night phone calls, I have learned the reason why he cried that day. Baekhyun said he had experienced his 4th heartbreak – at first I was surprised, I haven’t really thought that Baekhyun was in a relationship – relationships. But as he continued his story, I understood. All of his heartbreaks came from only one man. That’s a little more surprising.

Baekhyun said he had loved a boy for three years and they were never in a relationship. I continued listening and somewhat my heart breaks for Byun Baekhyun.

“To love is one thing; to be loved is another but the greatest feeling one can ever feel is to be loved by the person he loved the most”

Baekhyun said he got tired being the guy who’s always there, exhausted of being the guy who will never leave and he can no longer accept that he’s the guy who will never be the first in someone’s life. I didn’t know that Baekhyun – the Byun Baekhyun that I know had been experiencing such agony.

After his story, I was speechless for two reasons: I’ve got nothing to say and I don’t know what to say. Baekhyun seemed to get what I was going through so he laughed the usual Byun Baekhyun laugh.

“I’m okay now and I’m getting over him slowly” he said. “And I’m sorry to just suddenly drop my story, I just needed to let this out”

“It’s okay, I understand. We’re friends right?”

“Thanks Chanyeol” Baekhyun replied and I knew he was smiling on the other end of the line. That made my breathing stabilized.

The phone conversation ended great – and I found myself smiling before I finally closed my eyes and dream of him.

I wasn’t expecting anything when we see each other after the phone call. But the thing is, I was all of a sudden excited to go to school. I was a little too early for the morning class but I really don’t mind. There weren’t much bustling around the corridors, the rooms were almost empty – usually the rooms were occupied by the early birds.

I saw Kyungsoo walking towards our room, he waved his hand. The thing was, Kyungsoo and I were pretty casual - we remained as friends as if there was nothing that happened between us. And that’s great.

“You’re not going to watch the program?” He asked when we met the door of the classroom.

“Program?” I asked, utterly confused.

“The one where Baekhyun and the others are performing.”

Obviously, I didn’t know that there was an event, on my defense, it wasn’t announc----

“It was announced yesterday, plus 20 points when you attend. You weren’t listening, were you?”

Okay, I wasn’t paying attention. But, Byun Baekhyun, performing?

“You should probably go, Sehun and the others are there. I was looking for the rest of our classmates so they could watch, a little support for Baek.”

And Kyungsoo bid goodbye and searched every room. I walked towards the auditorium, I honestly didn’t know there was a performance. As I was walking, I could hear the faint sounds of cheers and screams.

Upon entering the venue, it wasn’t so hard to spot Sehun and the gang because they always pick the chairs near the air conditioning system – no one would want to leave the auditorium all sweaty.

“You’re late” Sehun muttered.

“You didn’t tell me there’s going to be a program” I replied taking a seat beside Kai.

“We weren’t planning on watching but Kyungsoo insisted and I wanted to watch Baekhyun too.” Sehun snickered. “He texted me a couple of times to remind that I should watch”

That moment, I felt like a child being robbed of his precious toys. Why would Baekhyun text Sehun, not me? Was I still insignificant in his life? Were all those late night calls just purely games?

The music started playing and I suddenly didn’t want to watch anymore. I felt drained, like all the energy had been out of my system.

But it turned upside down when the first note of the song was sung.

I was mesmerized.

Byun Baekhyun is Byun Baekhyun. The loud funny smart silly supportive --- Eventually, I ran out of adjectives to describe Baekhyun and then I realized I was in love.

I fell in love with Byun Baekhyun.

They say love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.

It was the mid-year break, and still, my secret was kept hidden. Baekhyun still calls every night, we talk about anything until Baekhyun says he needed to sleep. He always calls me first because I fear that if I was the one who will initiate the phone conversations, he will know that I like him and maybe if he knew, he’ll stop calling.

Baekhyun went home to Busan while I remained in Seoul. He still keeps in touch – the late night phone calls became our thing. But it decreased. Baekhyun has mentioned that there were a lot of things going on the province – his friends coming over, attending parties and family gatherings. He watched his friends compete during the festival and sometimes I hear his friends on the background – teasing him.

The more Baekhyun and I converse each night, the more I realized how much I have fallen in love and I have fallen more in love. The days when our phone calls are cut short because his friends visited him – that’s the time I feel empty.

I have tried not answering his phone calls because my mind was preoccupied with thoughts – thoughts about him. I feared that my mind would burst out because all I think about was him. My heart was in pain because I know it beats only for him and it hurts me because I don’t know if he feels the same way like I do.

And then there came a day, I knew I couldn’t hide it anymore.

Baekhyun called in a middle of a family gathering, he said he got bored and his best friend was being a pain in the so he needed a few minutes for himself. We talked about the usual things, how was my day, the movies I’ve watched and he talked about the places he visited until suddenly while he was in the middle of a story he stopped and I begin to get afraid.

I heard voices from the background, cheering.

“Baek?” I said but he didn’t answer. I want to end the call but I didn’t thinking Baekhyun just did some errands.

“Baek” I said again. I heard faint sounds of Kris is hugging him.

“Hey! Yeol!” Baekhyun panted. “I ran away from them” He explained.

Honestly, I didn’t know what to feel. Kris is hugging who?

“Kris is my first love” He explained.

That night, I felt I was losing to war - a war that hasn’t started yet. There was a lot on my mind - the stories Baekhyun had told me how much he had love the only guy he loved and that same guy who broke his heart, not once nor twice but four times and then I wondered, does Baekhyun still love him too?

“He visited” Baekhyun said.

I didn’t want to listen, it was complicated. A mixture of unwanted feelings were clouding my heart. My mind was in a daze and it was beyond painful. Do you love him, Baek? Does he love you? Because I do.

“I love you.” he wasn’t supposed to hear it, I wasn’t supposed to say it. It was not part of the plan.

“I love you too, Chanyeol”

But it caught me off guard; maybe those that weren’t planned are the best there is. no words could explain how I felt - all I know was that it was the happiest day of my life. And I remembered, I didn’t stop saying I love you for the rest of the night until Baekhyun has fallen asleep on the other end of the line.

Our relationship wasn’t perfect but we’re both happy. The first time I made him cry, I cried too because I couldn’t forgive myself for letting the person I truly love to be hurt and shed tears because of me. It was painful.

Byun Baekhyun is the type of guy who’ll sacrifice everything for the persons he loves the most. I was still running out of adjectives to describe him. Our first years were the golden ones. There wasn’t a single day that could go by without us muttering I love you’s and I love you more’s.

We were happy.

Happy 2nd Anniversary, I love you Chanyeol.

Happy 2nd Anniversarry Baekhyun, I love you more.

Baekhyun is the kind of guy who will make you feel you are loved. Every occasion, he would make a point to drop little surprises - some were big ones; there was one time when he organized a surprise birthday party. He would shower me with gifts even if he was on a tight budget. He learned how to cook so when our anniversary arrived, he made me home-cooked meals.

When I was too scared for my first job interview, he filed a leave from work just to accompany me and had waited outside the building for four hours. He would always make a point to tell me he loves me.

All was well. We were doing good. We stumbled into fights but before sunrise, we were holding each others arms.

I love you Park Chanyeol.

I love you more Byun Baekhyun.

I love you most.

Baekhyun took care of me when I was sick, would fly from another country because I was sick. he would leave everything behind just to take care of me but when he was running a fever, I just told him “You’ll be okay”

I know I love him, I really do but I don’t know myself, I guess I wasn’t a person to take action. It was hard for me to show how much I love him but I do - I really do. Were the words not enough?

You know I love you right?

Of course, Baek.

Never forget that.

I love him I really do but every time we fight, I want to break up with him. I tried several times but Baekhyun would always say sorry and would always always always tell me how much he loves me.

I’m sorry Chanyeol, it’s my fault. I will never do it again. I shouldn’t have said it. 
I love you Chanyeol, I’m sorry.

Even if most of the time, I was the one at fault, Baekhyun would always be the one who would plead for forgiveness. And I never once did.

Are you still happy to be with me Chanyeol?

Yes.

Baekhyun would always ask if I was getting bored of our relationship and I would always answer No but sometimes I want to say yes because honestly, sometimes I felt like nothing’s really going on. Baekhyun will then shower me with hugs and would tell me I love you too much, can you hug me too please? That was one of my biggest mistakes, because if only I had realized that it was me who wasn’t doing anything and Baekhyun was always the one who was doing everything and anything for me, then maybe - just maybe ----

Years have passed, we’re still together but our fights grew more. He demanded that I should show an effort in preventing our relationship to crumble into pieces. To show a little bit of effort was always his dialogue. He should’ve have known I’m not the type of guy who exerts so much effort on anything. I’m simple and Baekhyun should have paid attention more to that but he was still insisting that if I truly love him, I’ll exert an effort – even if it’s a little one.

So it’s Valentine’s Day, what do you want to do?

Let’s just watch a dvd Baek.

Okay.

At times, he would expect that I would give him flowers. He gave hints. He showed me what color and what type of flowers he wanted but I never paid attention. I listened but it was just a passing memory. Sometimes, I feel tired of having to agree on everything he likes but what I failed to fully grasp was that all he did was beneficial for me.

Happy Birthday Baekhyun, I love you.

Thank you Chanyeol, I love you more.

It wasn’t because I was poor or I couldn’t give him anything, it wasn’t just my thing. And I knew Baekhyun wasn’t the type of guy who would really want to receive flowers. Flowers wither, it would be waste to just throw them out after a few weeks.

Happy Birthday Chanyeol! I love you!

Baekhyun, you shouldn’t have bought me these. But you’re amazing and I love you more!

For me, our relationship was okay. We fought over stupid things but got over them quickly. Baekhyun always was the first one to say sorry. And would always the first one who initiates skinship. After every fight, he would wrap his arms around me and would always say I love you Chanyeol.

So, what’s your plan for our 3rd Anniversary.

I don’t know Baek, up to you.

Okay.

Maybe I got tired of hearing his sentiments, I got tired of hearing his pleaded requests. Of hearing my faults, of hearing the things that I’ve done wrong. Why do I always get the blame for everything? Those were the thoughts I regretted the most.

So Yeol, did you know that Kai gave a bouquet of flowers to Kyungsoo and it was beautiful.
That’s sweet.

Baekhyun had helped me with everything, in getting a job, in doing the laundry during the times when our house helper had fled. He helped with chores, gave me moral support, he took care of my family and basically provided me with everything I needed.

My favorite flower is a red rose.

Roses are very common, Baek.

I know. I just like them.

Okay, up to you.

Before our 5th anniversary, we got into a fight. Maybe he was tired of all my excuses. And maybe, I was tired too.

True love is selfless. It is prepared to sacrifice. I was not.

My birthday is next month, I really want a rose.

Sure, Baek.

But I never gave him one.

Yeol, our anniversary is in two months. Did you know there’s a newly opened flower shop two blocks away from your home?

I didn’t know.

I still never gave him one.

Four years, eight months, Baekhyun had pleaded that he wanted flowers. But I still never gave him one. He questioned me, interrogated me – asking me if it was too hard for me to buy flowers. I replied no, I just didn’t want to buy because it will wither.

He cried out of anger. I only wanted flowers Yeol. A single rose would be perfect.

I still never gave him one.

After 5 years, I got tired of hearing over and over again about Baekhyun’s pleads so I told him I couldn't do it anymore and its okay if we broke up. We always argue, we always fight and we always find a way to make things right but this time, I was sure, I couldn’t be with him anymore.

I knew deep inside, this was not the same arguments we had before because I had no reservations left. I was ready to let him go.

Baekhyun had agreed but I saw it in his eyes that for him it was just the same the last time, after a couple of hours, Baekhyun will come back to me and say sorry and ask if we can continue to be together. That was the sequence, fight and make up but I wasn’t in the mood to make up. I was determined to let go.

And I am serious.

“No Baek, this time I mean it.” I said and I look into his eyes hoping to convey what I really felt inside, that I’m tired and I really want to leave him and maybe he did understood because he just nodded, tears streaming down his eyes and said slowly, “Okay, Chanyeol, thanks for everything.”

And then he was gone. Just like that.

Just like that.

This is our story, the one that hasn't been written yet, the one that I loathe, the one that changed every world. This is the real one. This is the world where I failed to show my love for him.

This is the one I wanted to change the most.

Our story started flawlessly – a love that most people envy but it ended drastically and it became a tragedy no one would want to read. I knew I was at fault, Baekhyun only wanted what was best for me, always did what was best for me but I could not do the same thing for him.

Baekhyun only wanted flowers, but I never gave him one.

It has been five months since I started a routine. Wake up at 7, prepare something to eat at 8, visit the hospital at 9. Remove the withered flower and place another one.

I read a story starting by 10 in the morning then the doctors come in at 11 to check the vital statistics. That's the time I grab my lunch. By 2 pm, it's either I meet a familiar face or a new one enters.

Sometimes, they listen to the stories until I finish, some will leave half way to meet other appointments. By 6, a nurse comes along to check him once more - that's the time I eat my dinner. I go home at 10 then I sleep. And when I wake up - I do it all over again.

Every day I tell a different story – the one he has written hoping that when he wakes up, he’ll remember.

He’ll know every word – every line and then he’ll learn the feeling – his feelings when he was writing all of these and I pray somehow my efforts will make up for everything that I did and eventually, he’ll forgive me and we’ll be together, again.

It has been a year since we broke up. And in those 12 months, I have been living a dull life. I was happy but that was a temporary freedom. And when I realized what was missing, maybe I was too late or maybe I wasn’t.

It happened 5 months ago, the time I realized I’ve committed a big mistake. I wanted to make amends, to relieve what was lost – to be able to call Baekhyun mine again.

Sehun informed me that Baekhyun had accepted a job offer in New York. Sehun refused to tell me at first but still, he did because he said the one guy who has ever made Baekhyun genuinely and truly happy was me. Sehun called me a er - an - a person who should rot in hell and I accepted all the harsh words because I deserve more.

When Baekhyun and I have broken up, I wasn’t devastated, I felt a strong urge of freedom - I was alive - I was Park Chanyeol - I’m free. Little did I know that Baekhyun wasn’t as happy as me.

Baekhyun fell into a depressing well. I was soaring with delight.

But then after a year I had realized something was missing. Baekhyun was missing.

I was on my way to his apartment before he fly out to New York – hoping, wishing praying that I can ask for forgiveness and he’ll take me back.

I was waiting for him at the lobby when I received a call.

“Chanyeol—” Sehun had said in his calmest voice and I sensed there was something going wrong. I didn’t want to hear what he has to say – I dreaded it because I already think I knew what the next words would be.

“Chanyeol, you need to be at the hospital. There was an accident ---”

Every day I tell a different story and I pray somehow my efforts will make up for everything that I did and eventually, maybe he’ll forgive me and we’ll be together, again.

But that is just a sad maybe.

Baekhyun hasn’t woken up since. I read to him every day all the stories he has written, the plots he came up and the ideas he want to put into words.

Whether it be complete, incomplete, drabble or even just a plot or an idea.

I have lived countless times in different worlds, in different times. I have lived in his stories. The stories he has written for me – for us.

These are the stories he has written – all the stories that I have been reciting and reading over and over again are the tales he imagined and put into words. There are many more. I remember the first time he had told me he wanted to write a story, I laughed back then but given him a thumbs up and promised I’ll read it. But I never did.

These are his masterpieces. Sehun had said Baekhyun writes because of several reasons – to ease the pain, to forget the past and hoping that one day – eventually, he’ll have his happy ending. He wanted a happy ending but I never had the chance to give him one. It’s my fault, for letting go, for leaving – for being me.
And it pains me too much that Baekhyun wrote all of these because he was dreaming that someday, he’ll get a happy ending. An ending he deserved for I haven’t given him the best happily ever after.

And now, all I want to do is to make everything right. I’ve been in the hospital for months, patiently waiting for him to wake up. It’s 3 in the morning where my phone suddenly rings, I woke up in the second ring. My initial reaction was something must have happened in the hospital and I’m praying to God - please, please, don’t let anything happen to Baekhyun.

“Mr. Park”

“Yes” I replied, my voice is unstable – shaky.

“Mr. Byun is awake.”

It’s almost four in the morning.

I’m hoping my bedroom slippers won’t fail me. I haven’t got the chance to hail a cab or drive my car, my will wanted to go by itself as it dragged me from my house. There’s still three blocks away from the hospital and I need to be there as soon as possible. Tears starting to fall from my eyes, happy tears.

Finally. Byun Baekhyun. Finally.

By the time I arrive at the hospital, it’s four thirty and the nurses welcome me with small smiles.

10 steps away from the room – my heart is beating wildly – loudly, I fear that the patients sleeping soundly would wake up because the sound is deafening.

3 steps – My mind isn’t processing anything, my body is shaking.

Finally.

When I enter the room, doctors and nurses are all over, I couldn’t get a decent view. Is he really awake? Is he okay, what does he feel? Did he rememb--

“Baekhyun?” I breathe slowly. The doctors and nurses notice me as they moved away, giving me space. And then I see him, I want to howl – I want to scream because finally, Byun Baekhyun, finally.

When our eyes meet, I know I’ve fallen into a much despairing well. I have expected so many scenarios, planted different endings just to evade a single – most real picture because I still hold on to that single string of hope that he’ll wake up remembering all the stories that I’ve been reading and maybe, just maybe ---- but then I close my eyes and waited for the dreadful response.

“Who are you?”

I walked towards him and he looked at me in the eyes, and I knew staring at those orbs, he has no idea who the hell am I. There wasn’t any trace of recognition or even a glimpse of the past.

The nurses who have been attending to him shot me pitiful glances. But they shouldn’t be sad for me because only if they know what I did in the past, they wouldn’t feel any remorse.

“I’m sorry if I can’t remember you” He said, “I couldn’t remember everybody. There was a problem here” He points to his brain and he laughs – his pretty laugh, the pretty Byun Baekhyun laugh. “I’m Byun Baekhyun” he says and he laughs again but not as sincere as I remember it to be, “I just wanted to say my name over and over again, sorry.”

As I make another step closer to him, I know what I have to do. This time I’ll make sure he’ll love me again and I will love him more than I loved him before. And I will love him for the rest of my life.

I’ll make sure to give him flowers – to shower him with affection, to make him feel he deserve a happy ending. I know the feeling of having lost the one you truly love and the feeling of wanting to kill yourself for being the reason why he suffered in pain.

I am not a perfect person. But I’m willing to change.

Baekhyun deserved his happy ending and I promise to give him one.

Let us erase all the worlds--- as if they never existed. I hope you'll write again - this time it'll be perfect. Because this time I'll make sure I'll exist to make you smile, to make you laugh, to make your world forever in rainbows and butterflies, I'll make sure this time, you'll feel my love – even if I start from scratch.

“It’s nice to meet you Byun Baekhyun. Let’s be friends. My name is Park Chanyeol.”

a/n: Ever wondering what is the (C-5 or D-1) beside the titles of the story? It represents Baekhyun's stories, the letters mean Complete. Drabble, Idea, Incomplete/ The numbers signify the number based on the arrangment on how it was written. e.g. C-1, (Complete-no.1)

ahahahaha. im lame im sorry :( 

But i hope you like this story :D