chapter 8 | just having some fun

Mingyu slammed the door on his way out of his room even though he knew he’d definitely get in trouble for it if his parents were in a good mood or drunk. Again. But if they yelled at him it would mean that they’d at least recognize his existence even if it was for a short period.

“Kim Mingyu! How many times do I have to tell you not to slam the ing door? Maybe if we get rid of all the doors you won't slam them. Such a little brat.” His mother pulled at the hair on his head until his scalp stung.

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” He apologized with an emotionless tone, but still nonetheless wincing from the pain.

“Yeah, whatever. Just get to school so I don’t have to see your face.” She pushed him forward and into the front door. Mingyu groaned as his body made a loud thump against the hardwood. He just rubbed his arm and turned his hand on the doorknob to finally leave. He’d never thought of this place as a home in the least. Mingyu despised this place. No one even cared if he came home at the end of the day. No one would even realized he’d be gone if he left.

Mingyu tried to concentrate on the sound of his shoes hitting the concrete as he walked to school. It’s not that he regretted not going after Wonwoo but more like he was wondering where he went after he left. He had tried his best to convince himself that Wonwoo was a mature adult and wouldn’t do anything he would regret later on.

He allowed himself to grow weak as the cars speeding past him on the road swayed his body as he walked. He’d die if Wonwoo decided to have nothing to do with him but somehow every time he saw the older, all thoughts of staying on his good side escaped Mingyu’s mind.

Something about those narrow eyes looking at him made his mind blank out to nothing but

blood,

red,

skin,

lips.

Maybe instead of living day to day, sometimes Mingyu thinks it's not worth it. Living is just a hassle.

As Mingyu walked into the much dreaded school building something seemed wrong. When wasn’t something wrong? He decided to ignore it because it was probably nothing and just kept walking. But really, he knew it was not nothing but maybe, just maybe he deserved it for his behavior lately. He wanted to be punished. He wanted to scream in pain and bleed out through his mouth. Someone needed to put him in his place. Humiliate him. Make him suffer.

As if on cue, he was pushed into the side of a nearby outside wall of the school. He grunted not from shock, but because he wanted people to see that he was in pain. He spent so long convincing himself that for sure someone would notice his existence if he was in pain, but sadly it still didn’t matter. He doesn’t matter. He doesn’t belong.

“Hey pretty boy, what's up?” A tall boy smirked. He was still shorter than Mingyu though. Most people were.

Mingyu didn’t respond like always. Maybe his words could numb the pain if he beat them into Mingyu.

“Hmm, you don't respond to pretty boy? How about ? How does that sound you bastard?” The other student- Hansol sneered at him as he kicked him in the ribs. Even though Hansol was younger then Mingyu he still let him pick on him because it just showed how weak Mingyu really was. If he was in physical pain, maybe he could forget everything in his head even if it was only for a second.

Mingyu almost forgot to blink as he stared at the boys in front of him. Hansol, a second year that was so cocky Mingyu was surprised he even wasted his ‘precious’ time on him. The boy behind Hansol was another third year like himself named Jinhwan. He was more mellow than the rest of them and had never even said a word or laid a finger on Mingyu. Jinhwan usually just stayed in the background of the commotion. Mingyu wished Jinhwan would finally beat him one day until there was blood on his hands. The third boy was Junhoe who was a second year like Hansol. He had an extremely unpredictable temper that could snap at any moment and there would suddenly blood everywhere when he was done with you. Jinhwan usually spent most of his time calming down Junhoe after one of his many rampages.

A cold first roughly collided with Mingyu’s left cheekbone and his head was pushed to the side and into the hard brick wall from the impact.

But something was different this time. After a few more heavy blows to his stomach and face a strong hand gripped the collar of his uniform jacket and raised him to his feet. For the first time during a beating, Mingyu panicked. Suddenly those cold hands were holding the sides of Mingyu’s face painfully and chapped lips were moving messily on top of his pale ones. For the first time during a beating, Mingyu didn’t know what to do. For the first time during a beating, Mingyu stood paralyzed.

He didn’t struggle. He didn’t resist. And he couldn’t find the reason to care.

Mingyu guessed that somehow he actually deserved this. If how he was born was such a sin then he deserved this. He was meant to be pushed around and abused and caused pain. Something in his chest hurt so badly but he couldn't decide what exactly it was. He groaned in pain as Junhoe bit his lip, causing it to bleed. In his blood deprived condition even the smell of his own blood was making it hard for him to keep his fangs in.

“J-Junhoe, thats a enough. You’re taking this too far.” For once Mingyu heard Jinhwan’s voice. He chose to ignore the way it stuttered as he stepped forward towards his friend.

“I’m just having some fun.” The younger boy said in between the open mouthed one-sided makeout session. “Stay out of this.”

Mingyu could feel his body betraying him as he could feel his legs about to buckle. Just as he was about to fall he could feel a pair of hands grabbing onto his and he was pushed harder against the wall.

“Junhoe! That is enough!” Again, Mingyu decided to ignore the angry tone in his voice. He could hear Hansol laughing and could almost physically see that grin plastered on his face even though his eyes were just about sewn shut at this point.

“Koo Junhoe! This is out of your lane.” Jinhwan finally rose his voice louder and gripped his hand on the younger boys shoulder before prying his body away from Mingyu. Junhoe stumbled backwards away from Mingyu with a smirk on his face as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand. Mingyu didn’t miss the look of utter disappointment on Jinhwan’s face as he basically dragged Junhoe away with Hansol following behind them.

From the loss of support, Mingyu’s legs finally lost all strength to support his lean body as he slid down the wall and his body landed on the ground with a loud thump. Mingyu’s need for blood was increasing as he grew weaker and weaker, not sure how much longer he’d last.

For the first time after a beating, salty tears dripped down Mingyu's face and into his bloody mouth as he buried his head on top of his knees.

Wonwoo woke with a start, his breathing heavy. Guilt from running away from Mingyu had been eating at him all week. After running away that afternoon he'd visited a very surprised Soonyoung at the cafe he worked at. They talked for almost three hours straight until Soonyoung forced him to head back home and get some rest. But Wonwoo was beginning to fear sleep because nightmares visited every night now. He wouldn’t be able to face Mingyu after that but it had already been a week. He figured the younger boy couldn’t possibly be holding up so well right now.

The most common dream was of Wonwoo being touched. He’d cry and scream for them to stop but it never worked. The faceless people would spread their germs all over him and laugh at him and mock him and Wonwoo knew what they were saying was all true.

He was pathetic.

He was ugly.

He was useless.

He is scarred.

But he doesn’t want to be like this.

Thankfully, his cold had gone away but he still hadn’t spoken to Jeonghan. Maybe it would be better if they just drifted apart. Wonwoo knew it was too good to be true. He smiled numbly at how stupid he was to let himself begin to be happy again. The idea of how his life could never be the same again with Mingyu included now still hasn’t snapped in him. He’s still trying to live like he has all the years before even though he knows it's not possible. It’s not like if he ignores Mingyu he’ll just go away.