You’re more than I deserve. You’re perfect, thank you for being my side. My lady.

“Hey, are you free this weekend?” Tao had asked one warm Wednesday afternoon.

We had been working on his English on the floor around the coffee table in the living when he had asked me the sudden question. I looked up from my papers and cocked an eyebrow, unsure if I had heard correctly. My glasses were sliding down my nose so I had look over the rim of the frames to look in Tao’s direction. He looked up after putting his pencil down.

“What?” I asked.

“I was wondering if you’re free this weekend, Saturday to be exact?” He repeated as he took a sip from his Starbucks drink.

“What for? Do you need help with something?” I asked as I pulled out my phone to check my schedule.

“No, I was just thinking we could hang out somewhere fun for once,” He replied with a smile.

“Umm, I’m not sure, let me check and I’ll get back to you,” I said as I felt my face heating up drastically.

“Okay,” He replied with a smile on his face.

A billion and one thoughts were running through my head as I struggled to explain to Tao how words with different connotations were used in different situations. Does he know that I’m the one who sent him that letter? Is this a date or just a friendly hang out? Should I go? What if people see us and take pictures and this leads to more rumors? What if I’m just going to cause trouble for Tao, who’s working so hard? The idea of just hanging out with Tao was seriously addicting, but I had to think; what would be better for the both of us? Definitely not going.

Of course, the idea sounded brilliant in my head, but actually executing it was a whole nother story. Luckily my excuse to skip out on Saturday’s possible hangout/ date came when I arrived at my part time job as a swim coach. The head coach was waiting for me at the pool with a paper held in her hands.

“Finals are this weekend for the high school team, they’ll last through Saturday and Sunday,” She said as she handed me the paper, “Can you make both days”

“Yes, I’ll come to both days,” I said with a small smile.

If I were to be honest, I did really want to go out with Tao. Heck, that had been my dream since EXO debuted. But now that I was so close to him, I realized how many problems would come with being out with him in public, let alone DATE him. I felt guilty for dashing his hopes, I really did, but I knew that I wasn’t the one for him and that this wasn’t the time. I’ve been in the EXO-L fandom for a long time and I’d seen the hate Baekhyun had received when he announced his relationship with Taeyeon. I would never want that for Tao. He was already in a heavy situation right now since his current position was unstable. It would do no good to add fuel to the fire.

Once I got back from coaching, I sheepishly had to tell Tao that my schedule for that weekend was full. I explained to him about my position as swim coach and how I HAD to be there at the championships and he understood completely. The disappointment in his dark eyes was evident and my heart clenched in my chest.

“I’m really sorry,” I said again, my gaze averted to the ground.

“It’s okay, we’ll have other opportunities,” He said with a tight smile and I nodded my head slowly. I’m horrible.

…

The next few days were awkward to say the least. Tao didn’t bring up the subject again, but I could tell that he wanted to. Guilt and selfish desires were eating me up inside every day because a big part of me did want to go out with him, like who wouldn’t? IT’S HUANG ZITAO. But I’m very logical and practical, so I thought things like this through. I tried to make it obvious that I was busy, but Tao was stubborn.

“Why can’t he understand that someone like me can’t be with someone like him?” You sighed one day.

The two of us still talked in the car in the mornings and on the way home, but whenever Tao tried to bring up the subject of going out you’d always change it or pretend not to hear or pay attention. My heart still sped up when he came near, but I pushed the feeling down, deep down. I just had to keep fighting it.

After one week of the air between us being really awkward, Tao finally spoke up.

“My car from Korea is coming tomorrow so you don’t have to drive me anymore,” He said one day when it was his and Kevin’s turn to do the wishes. I had been in the kitchen putting away items.

“Oh okay,” I replied, keeping my gaze on the ground.

There was twinge of disappointment poking at my chest. I would miss driving with him to and from school every day. Oh well, this was for the best. It’s better for the both of us to not get any closer. I didn’t notice the small smile on Tao’s face when he turned back to dry the plate in his hands and put it on the rack.

…

Class that day had been boring as usual. Final exams were coming up but I surprisingly didn’t feel the least bit worried. I knew this stuff back and forth, inside out so why worry? I just wanted to get a break from it all. I was tired of staring at books and papers all day with loads of information stuck on them. I just needed a little fresh air. The bag slung on my shoulder felt so much heavier today than normal and I suddenly felt years older. The sky didn’t look so bright and blue anymore.

“Just a couple more weeks before you’re on break,” You whispered to yourself.

If only someone could just take me away from it all

…

I was lying on my bed in room with my eyes closed and my ear buds in when there was a knock at my door. I sighed before getting up from the comfortable sheets to answer. When I opened the door, Kevin was standing there.
“What’s up?” You asked.

“There’s someone at the door for you, you should get dressed,” He said before walking away.

“What?” I yelled but Kevin ignored my obvious confusion.

I hurried to find some nice clothes and grabbed the closest things I had in my closet that worked, a flower skirt and a white blouse, before changing and rushing downstairs with my messenger bag and phone. When I looked outside the front windows of my room, a Maserati Granturismo was parked there like a gleaming white carriage from a fairy tale. My eyes almost popped out of my head. Desperately, I grabbed my hairbrush and fixed my hair before running down the stairs to see who it was. When I reached to open the front door, someone else pulled it open for me and I gasped.

Tao was standing in the doorway, dressed in a blue laid button up that was ed to show a white tank top underneath and ripped skinny jeans. He had a gray snap back on as well and sunglasses. He looked very handsome. In his hands was a bouquet of flowers that had a combination of white roses, sweet purple lavender, fresh green leaves, and other beautiful blossoms. He held the bouquet out to me with a smile on his face but I could only stare in complete shock.

“Are you free this afternoon?” He asked, his cheeks slightly pink.

Unable to form words, I just nodded my head violently. He led me out the door like gentlemen and opened the passenger s