(Contains scene, continue on to the next chapter or read past if you do not feel comfortable reading a scene.)

Taehyung was showering. Somehow, he felt a little comfort in taking a hot warm shower every morning. As if it reminded him that life wasn’t as bad as it may seem and that everything was going to be alright. He wasn’t so sure of that. He doubted he was ever going to be alright. He sighed and turned towards the mirror, again looking at himself. He was so skinny. Not yet skin over bones, but it wouldn’t be long until he’d actually be a walking skeleton. He closed his eyes and turned the shower off, grabbed the towel and wrapped it around himself.

He exited the bathroom and went into his bedroom, closing the door behind him and getting dressed in comfortable hoodie and sweatpants. Lately, he hadn’t been wearing anything else but that, just to feel comfortable while dealing with everything.

He had to eat. Tae went to the kitchen, but to his surprise, saw Hoseok already making some breakfast. The cheery male turned around and smiled, faintly so.

“Good morning,” he said, turning back to the pans and stirring whatever he was making. It smelled good, that was for sure. It made Taehyung’s stomach growl. Especially after he hadn’t eaten anything last night. It didn’t seem necessary to him anymore, he’d throw up everything after a while anyway. But now, he had no choice. He had to eat something. So he patiently waited for Hoseok to finish cooking, and then hungrily ate the bowl he’d gotten from the older male.

Hoseok just looked on, eating his breakfast a little slower, calmer. It made him smile that Taehyung was so hungry. He worried about him so much.

Once done, Taehyung took the bowls and washed them. After he was done, he felt Hoseok wrapping his arms around him. They stood there, quietly. Tae was wondering what was up with him, but he didn’t want to interrupt these moments where he felt happy.

Hoseok turned him around, grabbed his hands, pinned them above his head against the cabinets and kissed the younger male, not caring if he wanted it or not. He’d been holding back too long, he couldn’t hold back much longer. Taehyung was either going to work along or submit to his desires.

Taehyung’s eyes widened and he stared at the older male, who had his eyes closed and was holding him firmly. He wasn’t sure what to do, or what to say. This was so confusing.

“H- Hoseok, please…”

Hoseok opened his eyes, picked him up bridal style and carried him off to his own bedroom. There, he put the younger male down and closed the door, locking it.

Well, that was definitely not what Taehyung meant. He stood there, nervously observing the older male. He wasn’t scared and he was most definitely aroused, but he didn’t want anyone to see the bad state his body was in, not even one of his close friends. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to stop Hoseok or just let it happen, he felt torn between those two options.

Hoseok pulled off his tshirt and approached Taehyung, grabbing his hands and gently forcing him onto the bed. He kissed the younger male again, who eagerly responded.

“Keep your hands above your head,” Hoseok ordered and released Tae’s hands. He held them there, quietly watching the older male. Hoseok reached for the hems of Tae’s shirt and started pulling it up, until Taehyung stopped him.

“What did I say?” Hoseok asked, frowning down at the younger male. Taehyung swallowed and looked up into Hoseok’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, softly.

Hoseok nodded and again, reached for the hems, this time pulling the shirt up over Taehyung’s head and throwing the piece of clothing outside. He was shocked at the state of Taehyung’s body.

“Oh, Taehyung…”

The younger male closed his eyes, not responding. He was scared, he didn’t want to disappoint anyone. This is why he hadn’t wanted this in the first place, because he was so thin and looked so sick. He’d wanted to look strong, as if he was going to be alright. Although everyone knew different, he’d still tried to be himself. But lately he’d been failing in that. Reality was getting to him, he knew he might not have long until he’d pass away.

“It’s okay,” Hoseok said, trailing a finger over Taehyung’s lips, down to his chest. He felt the bones so clearly. It was terrifying. Hoseok hooked his fingers into the waistband of Taehyung’s pants and shorts and pulled them off, throwing them on the shirt.

Taehyung swallowed and opened his eyes, nervously watching Hoseok plant light kisses on his chest, trailing them down, to there. Hoseok started playing with him, it felt so good.

Hoseok smiled at how Taehyung responded. He moved his hands up and down, then lowered his mouth over Taehyung’s and started him off.

Taehyung gasped and grabbed the headboard, holding on tight. “Hoseok… ~” He breathed, trying to control himself but did it feel good. His embarrassment and shame were gone as he was enjoying Hoseok’s play.

Hoseok smiled and continued off Taehyung. Until the young one came and he swallowed every drop and cleaned him, then released him with a pop and climbed on top of him. He looked down at the body, covered in sweat, chest rising and falling fast and hands scattered above him. “My turn,” he said, stripping the remainder off his clothing and grabbing the blindfold that was on his desk. He blindfolded Taehyung, then pushed him up on hands and knees.

“Don’t be scared, okay?”

A little whine from the younger one. Hoseok spread some lube around on Taehyung’s , then gently pushed a finger in.

“H- Hoseok…”

Hoseok immediately stopped and looked over at Taehyung. “If you really don’t want this, please just say so. I don’t want to do something you don’t want.”

Taehyung swallowed and looked at Hoseok. “No, it’s okay. I’m just scared. Please don’t hurt me,” he choked out the last words. Hoseok nodded and kissed his back.

“Of course not.”

Taehyung nodded and lowered his front onto the bed, resting his forehead on his arms and closing his eyes as he got used to the feeling of something inside him. It was so strange, not painful. But it still made him nervous. Fingers were thin, he knew Hoseok was not.

Hoseok inserted a second finger, feeling Taehyung tense up and giving him some time to relax. Then moving them in and out to spread the lube around, adding a third to get him used to something bigger and then eventually, replacing his fingers with his . He slid in smoothly and stayed completely in for a few minutes until Taehyung relaxed and then he started moving, a slow and steady pace.

Taehyung’s eyes widened at the feeling of his spreading. It was also painful, at first, but as Hoseok moved slow and steady, it started feeling better and he started feeling more comfortable. He started as pain turned into pleasure.

Feeling Taehyung relax and give in, Hoseok picked up the pace and became rougher, grabbing his hips as the pressure started building up. He closed his eyes as he came with a loud moan, slamming inside and resting there until he was done, then pulling out and watching the younger man collapse onto the bed, breathing fast and irregular. He smirked, placing kisses on his back before getting up and leaving for the shower, unlocking the door and leaving the boy.

Taehyung calmed down his breathing and tried to collect his thoughts, but he couldn’t. What had just happened confused him greatly. He felt hurt but he didn’t mind. Why were emotions so difficult to deal with? He curled up and closed his eyes, hearing Hoseok return after a while from the shower. Taehyung got up, grabbed his clothing and fled to the bathroom, closed the door and locked it. Turned the shower on and stepped under it, hoping to collect his thoughts and get a clearer picture of how he actually felt about this.

Hoseok cleaned up the mess and combed his fingers through his hair. Now he felt uncertain, hoping Taehyung wasn’t hurt. That hadn’t been his meaning at all.

.

Taehyung shut off the shower’s water and dried himself, got dressed and opened the door after unlocking it. Hoseok had been waiting for him, looking worried.

“Are you okay?”

Taehyung nodded, forcing himself to smile. Yes, he was okay. More than okay. He just had the best moment of his life and he didn’t know how to feel about it and if it was up for repetition.

“Are you sure? You looked… hurt.”

Taehyung wrapped his arms around Hoseok. “No. I just needed a moment to collect my thoughts. Thank you for making me feel so good.”

Hoseok was pleasantly surprised, smiling and wrapping his arms around the younger one. “I’m glad about that,” he said, kissing the boy’s orange hair.

“What about we check social media?”

Taehyung froze. He nodded. He had to face his fans, if he wanted it or not.

Hoseok took his hand and lead him to the living room, got his laptop and checked twitter and facebook, who were full of support messages and campaigns to make Taehyung feel good. It made the younger male smile, made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that these fans cared about him. It brought tears to his eyes and before he knew it, he was sobbing into Hoseok’s chest as the members started to surround them.

Hoseok gently rubbed his back, comforting the younger male, but at the same time, sad. He was scared Taehyung wasn’t going to make it. He didn’t want to lose him, but he knew that could well be the case. It scared him.

Taehyung wiped his tears away and looked at the members. Jin smiled faintly, Jimin looked neutral. He got up and hugged them, one by one, thanking them for all their support. He felt like he had to, and also because he was so glad about all the support. After that, they settled down for breakfast in the kitchen.

After breakfast, Taehyung prepared to go to the hospital. He sighed. Hoseok came in, closed the door behind him and looked at Taehyung.

“Taehyung… I must confess.”

Taehyung looked up, confused and slightly scared. He swallowed and nodded, listening intently.

“I… Look, what happened this morning…” Hoseok pressed him down onto the bed and climbed on top, looking down at the younger male. “I love you. I know that, you might not be interested in dating at the moment, but I’d appreciate it anyhow if you’d give it some-“

Taehyung pulled Hoseok down by his shirt and kissed him, passionately. Hoseok was surprised but smiled and kissed him back.

Taehyung pulled away. “I love you too,” he confessed, sitting up and staring into Hoseok’s eyes. He felt himself growing red. He wasn’t used to this, but he wanted to be true to himself.

Hoseok nodded and smiled, then Jin called for the two. The car was ready. They both side, tangled their fingers together and headed to the car, climbing in the back and buckling up. Taehyung rested his head on Hoseok’s shoulder as they drove to the hospital.

Jin looked at them and smiled. He didn’t know what was going on between the two of them, and he didn’t care either. As long as they were happy, he was content.

The drive to the hospital didn’t last long, neither did the waiting for the doctor, nor the waiting for the x-rays to see what had changed.

Taehyung sat quietly in one of the chairs, looking at the table because he was too scared of facing the doctor. He was nervous, biting his lips and them every few minutes.

The doctor cleared his throat.

“I have bad news.”

Taehyung looked up.

“I’m afraid your cancer has progressed until a stage we cannot help you any longer. The only thing we can do for you is give you medication for the pain when your health decreases. You have anywhere between this month to next year.”

Taehyung swallowed but remained silent. He just nodded, showing off a neutral face. Hoseok felt tears welling up but he did not dare to cry, and Jin just quietly nodded as the three got up and left the hospital, heading back home to the dorm and announcing the news to the other members. Everyone was silent, Jimin broke down crying and Taehyung just left for his room. He locked himself in it.

Hoseok hugged Jimin, trying to comfort the guy while dealing with his own feelings. This was unfair, Taehyung did not deserve this.

The next few days, Taehyung stayed in his room, not coming out. The rest had been quiet. Hoseok had tried several times to get to Taehyung, but with no success. After three days, Taehyung finally showed himself.

It was early in the morning and he was sitting at the breakfast table. The rest joined, Jin making breakfast. Finally, Hoseok showed up, sitting down beside Taehyung but not looking at him or asking him anything. There was silence. Only silence. Until Taehyung got up and looked at the members.

“I’m so sorry. I… Perhaps it’s just better for all of us to move on and…” He swallowed hard and looked down at the ground. “Perhaps it’s just better to… kill me. I’ve been thinking about this, and I think euthanasia is my best option. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to suffer until the end.”