(Authors note: holy this was painful to write. but enjoy it. i'm not too happy about the ending, but i still hope you like it. warning: emotional as .)

Home. And everything went by way too fast. Home, and Taehyung’s health deteriorated so fast the others were barely able to keep up. Home, and although they’d planned to enjoy the past few days, the only thing they could do was sit around the bed of Tae and try to comfort him as he poured his heart out, or when he threw up, or when he cried because he felt like a burden. Home, and nothing was okay.

As soon as they had arrived at the dorm, Taehyung had collapsed to the floor and passed out while blood came from his nose. They had rushed him to the nearest hospital and there it became known that Tae’s cancer had worsened. There was no real reason for his cancer to become worse, but it had anyway. And they’d taken him home next day, in a wheelchair as he was barely able to walk. Hoseok stayed by his side no matter what happened. Hoseok had barely slept or eaten while he took care of Taehyung, 24/7.

And now, today as well, two days after they’d returned to the dorm, Taehyung was hanging over the bucket, over the edge of the bed and throwing up whatever was left in stomach to empty. He’s grown so thin and pale. Hoseok patted his back, biting his lip as he felt tears well up. It was five days until Taehyung would be euthanized so he could pass away peacefully. But Hoseok wasn’t sure if Taehyung was even going to make it. The boy was so weak and seemed as if he was on the edge of death. He sighed and continued patting Taehyung’s back, until the boy was done and curled up in the arms of Hoseok.

Taehyung felt bad. He didn’t want the others to see him like this, but he couldn’t avoid them. They were his family and he wanted them around. He needed them around. Tears welled up in his eyes and he clung to Hoseok, quietly sobbing. “I’m so sorry for all of this, hyung,” he sobbed. He didn’t understand why this had to happen to him. He didn’t want this to happen to him, he hated it. He didn’t want to see his friends upset.

“Taetae, it’s ok-“

“No, it’s not,” Taehyung interrupted, words muffled through Hoseok’s shirt. “It’s not. We would have spent these days doing fun stuff. But instead…”

Hoseok sighed and hugged the younger one tight. “Tae it’s okay. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is your comfort. We don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or pain.”

There was silence. Taehyung just sobbed, not able to control himself and shaking. He felt so guilty about everything. He wanted to know why, why him? Why had it to be him? What had he ever done to deserve this? He didn’t know. He couldn’t answer the questions. No one could answer the questions, and it made him feel bad. He felt worthless. He felt like he was a burden. He didn’t want to be a burden, but he was. He was a burden to them, even if they said he wasn’t.

Suddenly, Jimin came in. And he saw them. And his heart dropped as he crawled into the bed and hugged Taehyung, who clung to Jimin so that Hoseok could stretch. Jimin patted the younger’s back, gently rubbing soothing circles into them. He didn’t know what to say, but he knew that Taehyung didn’t want to hear any comforting words. So Jimin was silent, just letting the boy soak his shirt. Jimin didn’t care. All he wanted was to see Taehyung smile again, but he knew that probably wouldn’t happen. The last few days, it’d been rare if Tae even showed a glimpse of happiness. It was as if all the happiness the boy used to have had been out of him, leaving a broken mess. Jimin sighed and after another hour of holding Tae, the younger fell asleep and Jimin tucked him in, his cheek.

“Oh Taehyung…”

Hoseok sighed, getting out of bed and looking at Jimin. They were all tired. They all barely slept as they kept awake to comfort the boy at any time necessary. It was difficult, they hid their tears, their pain and just smiled, or comforted him without thinking of the happiness off themselves. All they wanted was to be there for Taehyung when he needed them, and up until now, that had caused some serious emotional strain. But they remained strong, for Taehyung.

Jimin sighed and rubbed his eyes. He was so tired, but he didn’t want to sleep. He looked at Hoseok, and they both knew that it wouldn’t be long until Taehyung would pass away. And silent tears streamed down their cheeks. Jimin hurried away, Hoseok crawled back into the bed, Taehyung immediately snuggling up.

Hoseok smiled faintly and wrapped his arms around the boy as he continued sleeping. He was hungry, and soon enough, Seokjin walked in with a bowl of soup. Something easy and light. Hoseok took it and started eating.

“How long do you think he has?” Seokjin asked, sitting down onto the bed.

“Not long… A day, two max, is my estimate.”

Seokjin nodded and sighed. “I wish there was something to relief his pain.”

“Me too.”

“At least he won’t have to suffer for long.”

Hoseok nodded in agreement, putting the bowl onto the nightstand after eating it half empty. He sighed. “Have the others filmed their part yet?” he asked, looking at the older male.

Seokjin nodded. “Yoongi has put all the little videos on the laptop and is now editing them, I think,” he answered. “I think he’s also adding other clips of videos from throughout the years. I think he’s making a tribute for the fans. So the fans could buy it and remember Taehyung.”

Hoseok nodded and looked at the orange-haired male. “That sounds great,” he said, tears welling up. Seokjin hugged Hoseok, rubbing circles into his back. And Hoseok, for the first time since a while, burst into quiet sobs, making sure not to wake up Taehyung. After a while, he pulled himself together and smiled faintly at Seokjin, who just nodded and left again.

After a while, Yoongi came in with the laptop, followed by the rest. They gathered round and Yoongi played the video. It started at the beginning, when Taehyung joined the group. Their trainee days, recording music videos and recording music, performances. Everything, the most beautiful and best moments they had shared, Yoongi had put it together. The funny interactions with all the members. The holidays and concerts. The days at the dorm, pretty much everything from the Bangtan Bomb videos and the other moments. All the things Yoongi had felt worth to put in it. With sad and happy music. And then something that was unknown to them. Hoseok had written a short song for Taehyung, which was at the end, showing Taehyung laughing happily, putting up that signature smile he had. Hoseok had put all his feelings into the song. And then the video ended with everyone waving at the camera, except Taehyung. Hoseok nodded, looking with a faint smile at Yoongi.

“That’s beautiful. Thank you, Yoongi-hyung,” Hoseok said, smiling faintly as he wiped his tears away. Yoongi nodded, closing the laptop and sighing. “We’re here for each other,” he said. He then left, taking the laptop with him.

The rest left too. Hoseok closed his eyes and fell asleep, curling around Taehyung.

“Hyung,” Taehyung whispered.

Hoseok groaned and opened his eyes, looking at Taehyung. He felt so tired. He wanted to go back to sleep.

“Yes?”

“I’m cold,” Taehyung said, tears in his eyes.

Hoseok reached a hand and laid it on Tae’s forehead. He froze, realising how cold the boy felt. He sat up and looked at Taehyung.

“Hyung…” Taehyung whined, eyes closing. “I’m scared,” he whispered.

Hoseok pulled out his phone and called the others, waking them up and they rushed to Taehyung’s room. They gathered round, tears in their eyes and looking exhausted.

“It’s okay,” Hoseok said, wrapping the boy in his arms.

Taehyung swallowed. “It hurts…”

Hoseok’s heart dropped and he bit his lip hard so that he wouldn’t break down into sobs. “Taehyung, we made a video for you. Yoongi will show it.”

Yoongi opened his laptop and opened the video, then put it on the bed so Taehyung could watch it.

Taehyung curled up against Hoseok and watched the video. Hoseok held him tight, feeling the boy’s body grow cold and his heartbeat slow.

“Taehyung… Stay awake,” Jimin said, wiping the tears from his eyes. Taehyung gave a simple nod, eyes now closed. Jimin sighed as he listened to the video, watching Taehyung. And then the video was over.

“Taehyung?” Jimin asked.

Taehyung didn’t respond.

“Taetae-hyung?” Jungkook whispered, tears in his eyes.

But again, there was no response.

Hoseok grabbed his phone from the nightstand and looked at the time. 5:48 am. That was Taehyung’s time of passing away. He burst into sobs, pulling the boy close. “No…” he whispered, knowing Taehyung was gone. He didn’t want Tae to be gone.

Jimin too started crying, Jungkook rushed out of the room and the others had tears, but let them slip quietly.

Seokjin eventually left the room at six to make breakfast. Yoongi left, leaving the laptop there and headed off with Jimin to comfort him. And Namjoon went off to find Jungkook and comfort him, leaving Hoseok alone. And Hoseok cried. He continued holding the boy until he couldn’t take it anymore and he rushed off to the bathroom, locking himself in.

Later that morning, a doctor came over to confirm the death. And then they’d prepare the funeral. Hoseok had come from the bathroom but was quiet and kept alone. He was in his own room, curled up under the covers.

A few days later, the funeral was quiet and not big. It was swift. Hoseok had pulled himself together, and was now singing the song he wrote. He had made it longer. It took a lot of difficulty, but he managed. A very short video was played, and then Taehyung would be buried and they’d head home, one member less. But they had to continue on. The fans were informed via social media. And they spread it around, so much it became world news. Tributes were made, tears were spilled.

Hoseok visited Taehyung’s grave a few weeks after. He sat down in front of it, holding a rose. It was orange, like Taehyung’s hair and he sighed. “I miss you, taetae.” He swallowed and laid the rose there, before he started crying while the rain started to pour down.

“Goodbye…” Hoseok whispered, as he got up and looked at the grave. “Goodbye…” And he left.