#np Seo Taiji's Sogyeokdong

[2014]

My legs feel like jelly right after I could hear the door behind me closed. Luckily I didn’t fall but what frustrates me the most is why the heck did I do that to her? I put my right palm onto my chest and take a deep, steady breath. It’s still pounding hard though… That’s it, I can’t help it, I silently spazz like a mad man. Even my feet are going up and down but I quickly get back to my senses. This is a hallway, Lee Seunghoon. I’m exposed to sheer embarrassment if I continue to act like this.

I pause for a second and start to think. Should I turn back? I try to turn but my stomach churns when the door to the waiting room before squeaks open. Flustered, I swiftly turn back and walk forward. At least I guess I can show my cool back to her, but will she call me?

Nope, sadly it doesn’t happen. I walk and walk, without looking back even once until I reach our waiting room. I admit it. A slight disappointment hits me when she doesn’t even call my name before.

“You’re here, Hyung? I thought you’re staying at some other place.” I can barely hear Minho’s voice who’s sitting at the dressing table, waiting for his hair to be done. The sound of the hair dryer is too loud and a huge number of staffs are busy preparing for us that I thought I’m going to suffocate while being in here.

“Yeap. Other waiting rooms are full.” I answer casually and lie down on the leather couch inside the crowded waiting room. After putting my legs onto the sleeping Jinwoo Hyung’s hips at the far end of the couch, I pull out my earphone from my pocket and plug it into my iPhone.

I thought of having a calm nap at the empty waiting room before since I’m already done with my makeup but when she came, I have to choice but to stay here. There are no other empty room. Sighing, I tap onto the playlist and hit Seo Taiji’s Sogeokdong.

I’m walking alone on the narrow alley stairway
That I used to walk with you
The thick scent of the past passes me by

When I close my eyes, I can already see her face. She’s a lot skinner compared to when I first saw her almost five years ago. I understand, four years is not a short period of time. People change, I did and I’m not mad if she did too.

But what I’m curious about is does she remember? Me and her, that day… It’s as if I can still smell the scent of the rain and feel it’s wetness on the tips of my fingers… I inhale deeply and let go. The scene that happened with her that day replays back into my mind and it’s as clear as it has always been.

[2010]

“I’m sure you will succeed, Seunghoon-ah.”

I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought of those words, ringing inside my head. They were the hope that my family put on my back since I left home and now, it made me feel somewhat suffocated. Yeah, it’s my dream, to make it big, to enter YG Entertainment and be a superstar, a rapper that everyone will look up to, like all my idols in YG.

That dream, it made me alive ever since I was small. My family’s support had made me stronger but why did I feel so strained and so anxious lately? I was working hard to climb up but the last few nights, after the contract for the choreography plan was over, I started to think back.

How long will this go on? Where will I end up? How long will it take for me to succeed? Will I fall? Can I do it? Is only hard work enough?

Ever since I came to Seoul with absolutely nothing in my pocket, all I ever did was small jobs. I danced her