“Five minute break, girls.” Their choreographer announced after an hour of rehearsals for their upcoming comeback. Yeri and Joy ran towards the water dispenser in no time, Wendy was discussing a part of the choreography she didn’t understand with Irene while Seulgi, immediately flopped down, pressing her hands down on her stomach as she breathed deeply. Irene caught a glance of her best friend sprawled out on the floor, breathlessly inhaling and exhaling. She quickly explained the answer to Wendy’s problem and rushed towards Seulgi. If anything, Seulgi was probably the only one left standing even after more than ten consecutive hours of training, Irene thought as she watched her best friend clench her eyes shut.

“Hey,” Irene mumbled softly, squatting down next to her. “Tired already? It’s only been an hour.”

Seulgi’s eyes shot open and her hands travelled back to her sides. “Huh? No, no.” She shook her head hurriedly coming up with an excuse, attempting to sit up at Irene’s assumption. “Just didn’t get much sleep last night, I guess. I keep waking up at the most unusual times these days, especially early in the mornings. I was actually heavily considering just sleeping in today for once.”

“Yeah, we noticed when we had to pick you up and caught you practically attached to a huge teddy bear this morning.” Irene chuckled, clapping a hand on Seulgi’s shoulder. “Must miss the human version quite a lot?”

“Maybe.” Seulgi forced out a chuckle. “This is one of the longest times that he’s been gone.” It’s been over two weeks and Jongin was still stuck in Japan. There was a deal on the brink of tremendous success and if he didn’t pay a hundred percent attention to it, he might lose yet another chance at accomplishing something great. And it was surely not something Seulgi was going to keep him from.

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” Irene flashed her a comforting grin as she stood up, stretching a hand out to help Seulgi up as well. “But this isn’t the first time you’ve seemed overly exhausted during training these days, you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Seulgi claimed as she pulled on the ends of her shirt, and tightened her ponytail. “I’m great.”

“Okay…” Irene said, staring at her as if she could see right through her words, looking not fully convinced. “But if something was wrong, you’d tell me right?”

Seulgi’s never once lied to Irene, and she was afraid this might have to be the first time she ever did, distinctly feeling those familiar pounds against her skull, as she managed to smile in response. “Of course.” Seulgi nodded, playfully slinging an arm over her best friend as a distraction right before their coach called them all to gather again to resume with their training.

---

Seulgi endured the rest of their crucial trainings right before the most crucial date arrived; comeback day. Thankfully the company (Seulgi assumed Jongin was behind this as usual) gave the girls a day off on the previous day, something Seulgi more than direly needed. She leaned back on her seat, earphones shoved on with their new title track on repeat, staring at her reflection intently as her hair was styled. The girls always knew to kindly leave Seulgi alone before important performances for it was when she gathered herself, and pushed away all her anxieties. Despite being an idol for years, the fear still got to her—the fear of disappointing her fans, her family, her company, her teammates, but mostly the fear of disappointing herself.

She heaved a much deeper breath after her stylist clapped her shoulders signaling that she was finished and that she should go get ready for rehearsals; also a reminder to kindly plaster on a smile now. And her lips quirked up even higher upon remembering that Jongin was finally coming home tonight after almost three weeks—probably the only reason she was still holding on, and not allowing the unusual pain, not only coming from her head but from so many other parts of her body, to break her down.

Irene was waiting for her by the door before they skidded off towards the stage. Right as Seulgi was being handed her mic, their manager simultaneously handed her a handphone, Jongin’s name blinking on the lock screen. “Do you want me to ask President Kim to call again later?”

“No it’s fine,” Seulgi shook her head, taking the phone, seeing as the girls still needed time to have their microphones checked. “I’ll make it quick.” She gave her a small grin and walked towards a quiet corner.

“Hello?” Jongin’s voice appeared.

“Hey, Pres.” Seulgi chirped, knowing for sure that her smile was audible at this point and would only enlarge Jongin’s ego even more but could care less.

Jongin chuckled. “Hello, Ms. Kang.” He rode along. “At MNet’s studio already?”

“Yup, was just about to go onstage actually. Great timing, by the way.” She said dryly. “But I can’t wait to see you later!”

“Sorry, you weren’t answering your phone--” Jongin said, cutting himself off as he remembered Seulgi’s pre-show routine that required no one disturbing her. “But anyways, I had to tell you I can’t come home yet tonight.”

Seulgi’s smile flipped as if a switch was switched off. “Oh.”

“I know how upsetting this must be, and I’m sorry I had to tell you right before you got onstage,” Jongin’s voice was reeking with so much evident guilt, it made the feeling in Seulgi’s chest even heavier than it already was. “But the rest of my day’s pretty packed and I had no other time to call you, and I didn’t want your manager just telling you for me, cause I know that would have upset you even more—“

“Jongin, hey.” Seulgi interrupted, forcing her tone to brighten up no matter how truly upset she felt. “You don’t need to explain yourself, I know how important this deal is.”

“But I’ve cancelled on you so many times and gotten your hopes up—“

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m a big girl, Jongin?” She faked a laugh. “You don’t have to apologize.”

Jongin sighed. “You sure?” He asked quietly. “I mean, I can just postpone all my meetings for the time being and ask the other directors to handle it, and fly back to Seoul—“

“No, no, don’t you dare.” Seulgi said. “I’d kill myself if you did that.”

“Don’t even joke, Kang Seulgi.” Jongin retorted, seeming quite serious with the threat. “But fine… if you insist.”

“Good, I do—“

“But I will make it back in time to watch at least one of your shows live, I prom—“

Seulgi made a noise that seemed to successfully remind Jongin that his promises were starting to be full of .

“I will try my best.” Jongin corrected himself.

“Good.” Seulgi repeated, seeing their manager calling her over from the other end. “I have to go now, I love you.”

“I love you more, my bear. I’ll see you soon.” Jongin said just as Seulgi handed the phone back to her manager and had all her monitors attached to her before she entered the stage, being greeted by the sight of hundreds of fans cheering her on. When she honestly felt like she couldn’t even cheer herself on in that moment.

---

The producers backstage greeted them all with a short “good job” as they left the stage after rehearsals. The girls bowed shortly in gratitude and immediately headed back to their waiting room before the live show started. Seulgi was a few steps away from the door when she felt an arm tugging her towards a different direction. “Hey, can we talk for awhile?” Irene called out behind her, more as a statement and not as a question.

Seulgi gave in to her strength following her best friend to a staircase in an emergency exit. Irene carefully checked behind her if anyone saw them before she shut the door.

Seulgi chuckled. “Why are you being so secretive, it’s not like the fans won’t be happy if they caught us and think we’re dating—“

“Ha ha funny.” Irene glared at her. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

“If we’re dating?-- Well I don’t know about you Irene, but I’m pretty happy with my relationship and hey, Suho’s a really nice guy and all but I don’t think he’ll be all that nice if you and me—“

“Seulgi, I’m serious.” Irene firmly said, crossing her arms over her chest. “What have you been hiding?”

Seulgi blinked at her, startled by her normally cheerful best friend’s tone. “I don’t know what you mean, I’m fine, everything’s fine—“

“No, everything is not fine, Seulgi. You are sure as hell not.” Irene blatantly pointed out. “And you sure as hell know what I mean.”

Seulgi kept quiet, not knowing how to respond. “No, I don’t—“

“You haven’t been eating properly nor getting proper amounts of sleep lately, you messed up onstage so many times earlier, not to mention your smile was fake as —yes, I noticed,” Irene spat. “You’ve been getting tired way quicker when you’re pretty much the female version of Ironman, and whenever you are tired, your breathing speeds up so much that it frightens me that you’re just going to pass out anytime—and there are probably three million other things I have yet to notice, things that normally Jongin notices for me but he isn’t here to do that right now, is he so what is it? What are you hiding from me? From us?”

Seulgi remained silent, biting on her bottom lip.

“Are you sick?”

“I’m just upset-- over Jongin not being here—“

“Don’t pull that crap on me.” Irene spluttered, glowering at her. “Answer my question. Are you sick, Seulgi? Have you had it checked?”

“I’m not—“

“Cause I swear to god, I’m dragging you to the hospital if I have to--”

“Irene.” Seulgi interjected, placing a hand on Irene’s shoulder. “Irene, breathe.”

“We don’t have to do the show today if you’re not up for it, I can take you to go have a check up first and—“

“Irene, I’m fine. Yeah, it’s just the lack of sleep. And the nerves probably. The nerves for this comeback in general.” Seulgi explained. “And yeah I wasn’t kidding, I really do miss Jongin. He cancelled on me right before we got onstage for rehearsals, did you know?”

Irene slowly shook her head. “No, no I didn’t.” Irene said. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t told—“

Seulgi laughed shortly. “It’s fine, I’ll get over it.” She finally released the breath she was holding in. “But I’m fine too. I mean it, I’m fine.”

Irene met her gaze, continually staring at her. “If you say so.” She said, although not sounding all too convinced.

“I mean it.” Seulgi reiterated in an attempt to fully persuade her into believing her, flashing her best friend a grin. “I did tell you I’d say it if something was wrong right?”

“Yeah, you did.” Irene raised an eyebrow, making it seem as a threat.

Seulgi widened her smile. “Well, I meant that too.”

“… Okay.” Irene reluctantly nodded, slightly shrill. “Okay.”

“Okay!” Seulgi echoed, a little more cheerfully before stretching an arm out to open the door back to the building, allowing Irene to go inside first, praying to herself that she really did mean everything she’s been saying.

---

The next things happened too fast.

One minute, Red Velvet was performing onstage, they even had a couple interviews, and they made it through each of them downright flawlessly. The next minute, during the end stage just before the girls received their award, the last thing Seulgi could remember was everything in her sight blurring up before she just completely out and dropped to the ground.

And everything was the complete opposite of what she continuously claimed; the complete opposite of of fine.

---

Seulgi’s eyelids gradually quivered open, she felt a cloth of what she immediately assumed was a mask covering half of her face, and glass behind her head. The city lights of a highway in Gangnam came to view as she took in her surroundings from behind the car window.

But the one behind the driver’s seat was what startled Seulgi.

She carefully sat up, rubbing the back of her head, the pain inside it now replaced with external pain caused by what she figured was her sudden fall earlier. Her shuffling around her seat must have made a louder noise than she meant to produce cause Jongin immediately noticed.

“Hello.” He muttered, a lot more calmly than Seulgi expected. Maybe he didn’t know what happened, Seulgi thought as she watched his eyes remain steady on the streets, and his attention focused on purely driving.

Seulgi jerked her head towards him in surprise. “You’re back.”

“And you’ve become even smarter.” He retorted, a sarcastic smirk toying with the corner of his lip.

“Funny.” Seulgi scowled, immaturely poking a tongue out at him even if he wasn’t looking at her. “How are you? How was your flight?”

“All fine, Seulgi.” He said. “Everything is fine.”

“That’s good—“

“Like how you’ve been saying everything was with you.” Jongin said, briefly turning his head towards his girlfriend on the passenger seat, that smile on his face looking far more creepy than Seulgi expected. “Fine, right? You’re fine, Seulgi?”

Seulgi sat up, internally preparing to explain herself. “Okay, so you do know what happened—“

“What, did you think I had no cable in Japan?” Jongin retorted, with a snort. “It happened on national television, Seulgi. I got on the first flight back the moment it happened-- do you know how many other people are worried about you right now? How many reporters, and how much the media has been flooding my phone wanting to hear what happened to my girlfriend--”

“I don’t care about them, I just didn’t want to worry you— really, I’m not that sick, it was just a one time thing, the stress probably got to me and I know how important that deal you were making was to you and—“

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Jongin interjected, shaking his head. Although, he still sounded quite surprisingly calm. “What matters is you getting better.”

“Where are you taking me?” Seulgi sighed, attempting to read the street signs they were passing by but Jongin was going on a pretty rapid speed. “Cause I swear to god Kim Jongin, do not take me to the hospital aga—ever. Don’t take me there. All I’ll be is worse if you do—“

“I’m not taking you to the hospital.”

Seulgi frowned at him. “Where then?”

Jongin’s smile became more sincere, excitement glinting in his eyes. “I’m taking you home.”

“But we’re already far past the apartment, and it must be crowded there with the media right now—“

“Not that home,” Jongin said, turning the car towards an expressway. “Home-home. Your home.”

Seulgi took a moment to try and comprehend what he was saying, wracking her brain for any answers, annoyed that he wouldn’t just tell her in the first place. And just when she noticed another sign saying they’ve exited the vicinity of Seoul, an answer popped in her brain. “Wait—are you taking me to my family?” She subtly gasped, shooting her head to look behind at the backseat, seeing a bunch of luggage bags stacked on top of two huge teddy bears. “I’m-- we’re going to Busan?”

Author’s Note

/gasps/ what a stressful chapter. It’s been awhile since I’ve written angst and I thought the story finally needed it at this point. Too much fluff gets tiring right? No. Not when it’s SeulKai. I know. BUT HEY ANGST IS NICE TOO—I talk too much.

I was gonna post this yesterday but I decided to add a few more things before I did but anyhow, belated Happy EXO-L Day!!!!!!! I love this fandom, I love EXO, I l love you all.

So yeah, Jongin and Seulgi are going to Busan. Take note that this is the first official time that Seulgi’s family will be meeting Jongin as her boyfriend (lol remember in Officemate when Jongin practically was loooool) and hey, what’s happening to our lead girl? Can’t wait to see what you guys have to say in the comment box. See you all there, and I hope you’ll keep being patient with me with updates, I’m going back to uni soon—so more responsibilities and . But yeah. I’ll try my best. Thanks for reading! Behave and don't do anything stupid like applying nail polish on your lips like Jongin, my children HAHAHAHAH til’ the next chapter update.

PS. I changed my twitter username hihi, I’m @jongxnnn now. Since some of you were saying you couldn’t find antimaknae on Twitter HAHAHAHAH. There.