"So let me get this straight. Jessica was on the rooftop at the time of Mandy Hsu's death?" Kyuhyun wheeled around and started walking backwards so he was facing me. He was walking me home later that day. Actually, "walking me home while grilling me about Jessica's secret" was more like it. I promised my friend that I wouldn't tell anyone, but Kyuhyun persuaded me that Jessica didn't say anything about verifying guesses - and that wasn't the same thing as "telling".

So here I was doing just that. Verifying guesses. I nodded. "Yes, you got that right."

"What was she doing there?" Kyuhyun asked.

I shook my head. "Ani. I can only say 'yes', 'no', or 'maybe', remember?"

"Okaaay," Kyuhyun nearly bumped into a fire hydrant. He turned around and was once again walking in-step with me. "Was she smoking?"

"No."

"Meeting with a boy other than Tyler?"

I shook my head vigorously. "No!"

"Taking drugs?"

I paused. 

Kyuhyun stopped walking. He grabbed my shoulders. "She was taking drugs. What kind?"

I didn't answer. I was still trying to digest the truth. I knew Jessica was emotionally affected soon after she left Girl's Nation. She received a multitude of threats. She was bullied online. Her decision to leave severed her long-term friendships with Tiffany and Taeyeon. For a while there, her image morphed from a pretty princess to that of a wicked traitor. I knew taking this all in was hard, but I didn't know it was too hard for her.

"Illegal drugs?" Kyuhyun pressed.

"No," On one hand, I was glad it didn't get to that.

"Anti-anxiety?"

When I gave a tiny nod, Kyuhyun's lips curled into a smile. "Bingo!"

I swatted at him. This wasn't a laughing matter, but I have to admit it. This guy's pretty good at guessing. "She was diagnosed with a panic disorder last year. When stressed out, her heart rate would go up and she would find it hard to breath."

"Understandable," Kyuhyun went to serious mode as well. "So here we are."

Before I realized it, we were already facing the front steps of my apartment building. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Kyuhyun asked.

"NO!" I exclaimed because, well, duh. What would the neighbors say if I let a man stay at my place for the night? I shook my head for added effect. By this time, my head was pretty much aching from all that shaking. 

"I'm just kidding," Kyuhyun said and inched his face close to mine. I braced myself. Was he going on for a -? I was glad it was dark outside beca