I'm Despaired

Avalanche

They went to the Hospital in the earliest appointment they could have. Hongbin hugged Wonshik before entering the room when it was their turn.

After a few tests, the Doctor asked them to sit down.

Hongbin held Wonshik's hand tighter mouthing, "It's gonna be okay."

     "I am going to ask you a few questions just to confirm the findings." The Doctor turned to Wonshik, "Mr. Kim, since you're studying, by chance, is your handwriting smaller? Or is it hard to write?"

     "Y-yes..Doctor. My hands are shaking most of the times."

     "Tremor." the Doctor said while checking his list and went back to Wonshik. "Tell me more unusual things that you're experiencing."

     "These past few days, I'm having a hard time sleeping. It's very unusual because I never experienced it before. I get tired easily too."

     "Also, there was a time when I was calling him out, he was answering but it was very low and soft." Hongbin added.

The doctor was nodding, confirming the results. "Anything else unusual, Mr. Kim?" 

     "I'm stiff these days, Doctor. Not only when I'm moving around but emotions, too." Wonshik said, with his voice shaking. He held Hongbin's hand tighter. He was so scared. He was so angry inside that he just wanted to shout at the doctor to tell them the result. But then, he went back to his senses. "Why are you so angry? It's normal for the doctor to ask you questions, Wonshik." he told himself.

The doctor cleared his throat, organizing the results.

     "Mr. Kim is diagnosed with Early Onset Parkinson's disease. This disease is a brain disorder where your brain slowly stops producing a neurotransmitter called dopamine. Wiith  dopamine. With lesser dopamine, a person will have lesser ability to regulate your movements, emotions and your body. It is either hereditary or cause of his environment." the doctor said as he look through the result. "Mr. Kim, have you ever heard of this disease in your family?"

 

Wonshik shook his head. He was scared and he was shaking. What? What's this disease?

     "This disease is not fatal. However, there is yet no cure for this disease. There are several therapies to lessen the attacks of the symptoms, but that's the only cure we could suggest for now."

Was that supposed to calm him down? He will not die from the disease, but he still has it. And there is no cure. 

 

They thanked the doctor. Wonshik went out first when the doctor called Hongbin for a second. 

     "Mr. Lee, the disease is not fatal but the complications are serious. The disease will not kill him, but his symptoms will. Please, remember that."

     "I will doctor. Thank you."

 

The ride home was their most quiet ride. No one was talking. They were just holding each other's hand and with that single touch, million words were understood. 

 

     "We should tell it to your mom as soon as possible." Hongbin opened up during dinner. Wonshik nodded and continued eating quietly. Suddenly, his hand was shaking. All he could do was look at Hongbin with his tears about to fall. Hongbin hurriedly went to Wonshik. He took his spoon and held Wonshik's hand. He was trying to be strong for the both of them. "It's going to be okay." he repeatedly said while calming Wonshik down. 

When his tremor stopped, Hongbin excused himself saying he'll get more rice. He hurriedly went to the Kitchen, and there, he broke down. He was crying so hard but he has to keep quiet. "No, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay." he told himself. The way Wonshik looked at him earlier, he felt helpless and it broke his heart into million pieces. 

     "It's up to me." Hongbin said. "I have to help him. There's a solution. There's treatments." He said while calming himself down.

Wonshik broke down in tears, too. He didn't want to look weak in front of Hongbin. He told himself to be positive. They'll get through this.

     "Hongbin!" he called out to pretend as if nothing happened. 

     "Y-yes?" Hongbin answered while wiping his tears.

     "The rice, please." he said trying to sound normal as much as possible. Dinner went on without having an idea that they were both breaking down. They were weak inside, but tried to show they're strong on the outside. 

 

They went to Wonshik's place the next day and told them what happened. Everyone was quiet. Mrs. Kim broke the silence.

     "Stay with us again, Wonshik."

Everyone looked at her, confused.

     "It'll be better for you to stay home with your family." she added.

     "No."

     "Wonshik!" she yelled, her voice shaking. Mrs. Kim broke down in front of everyone, something the others cannot do. "I tried..." she said trying to speak in between her sob, "I tried to stay strong, son. I don't want to cry and make you feel like everything isn't right.... but please..." she went to Wonshik and held his hand. "Stay home with us. With me. Mommy will take care of you."

It was still quiet. Mrs. Kim's cry was the only thing they can hear. 

Hongbin held Wonshik's hands assuring him that he'll be okay alone.

     "No" Wonshik insisted. "If you're going, I will too. Or..." everyone looked at him. "Stay with us. Here."

Mrs. Kim rose her head and went to Hongbin. "I'm begging you. Let me take care of my son."

     "And he'll stay with us?" Wonshik asked. Mrs. Kim was hesitant but she nodded. Hongbin was the source of happiness for Wonshik and she will not take that away. She's still not okay with Hongbin because she still felt like he stole Wonshik from her, but this time, they have to work together. For Wonshik.

 

 

    

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Comments

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sohotvixx #1
Chapter 15: Omg seriously... i just read this in wattpad and i'm cryiiinnggg so hard.. this is so sad but beautiful, thank youu authornimm and i'm waiting for the sequel
naznew #2
Chapter 15: Nice story..
thelostswagger #3
Chapter 15: You left physical world but your love never left me. ;-; authornim. U make me cry in midnight. I love the way u make rabin love each other, the conflicts, nd everything. This is too sweet, nice, nd greaaattt. I wanna ask ur permission to translate this into indonesian language. Ill put ur author name in it nd ill also give u the link if i post this. Thanx :)
InfiniTynTyn
#4
Chapter 15: Awwww it already ended ㅠㅠ BUT Yey a sequel! That's the first thing I've ever thought LOL but what will the story be like? Is Hongbin going to be alone? Is he going to meet someone? Wonshik's goin zombie? Ok ok I'm just going to wait for the sequel :D Thank you for this wonderful story author-nim :)
AtomicFlea
#5
Chapter 15: Second comment in hours! Ay, it's beautiful. Sad but precious ;__; Knowing you'll write a sequel made my day!
AtomicFlea
#6
Chapter 14: I'M DRUNK BECAUSE YEY NEW YEAR AND I READ THIS AND NOW WHAT!! Okay, calm... ;____; Wonshik, muy heart hurts
InfiniTynTyn
#7
Chapter 11: WHAT? WHAT IS THIS AUTHORNIM?! WONSHIK IS WHAT? SICK? NOOOOOOOOO
InfiniTynTyn
#8
Chapter 9: Yey! You're back author-nim!!!
They're together! I thought Wonshik's Mom drama will last forever -_-
Finally some real Rabin time wohoooo
Khysani_Myrical
#9
Chapter 8: Cool, they get to be together! :D Yes!
Khysani_Myrical
#10
Chapter 7: ... Oh. :( Well, Hongbin...

I hope that they can straighten this out. Rabin fighting! (^_^)9