^{_{. .}} seven ^{_{. .}}

The address echoes inside his head on repeat.

“I’m coming with you,” Donghae suddenly notes as Hyukjae is already halfway putting his shoes on. Donghae leans shoulder against the wall, hands crossed loosely over his chest as he stares back at Hyukjae with an unreadable expression. The brunet doesn’t even realize how anxious he actually is. Now he knows where Jiah lives. This is going to be over soon, and everything will return back to normal. But as far as he remembers the last time he briefly met Jiah two years ago, he’s starting to have his doubts. At least back then, she wasn’t any more of a mother-person—even less than she’d ever been.

Knowing both Jiah’s and Donghae’s personalities, in his opinion taking Donghae with him doesn’t sound like a good idea.

“Why?” he then asks, giving a look towards the man who doesn’t really belong here, in his apartment. It’s weird to see Donghae around; at point it’s bearable and the next second Donghae’s already on his throat. And Hyukjae doesn’t like that. It doesn’t need a genius to understand how the younger man so greatly looks down on him—and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t because of his daughter. Without him things would have already ended up as disaster. Yet it seems like it’s still too much.

There’s an uncomfortable feeling down on his stomach as he pulls the other sneaker on his foot, and it’s almost like his whole body is upset about something; hangover or something else, he can’t really decide. It’s still unpleasant.

“Because this could be just another attempt of yours to run away,” Donghae retorts, lips in a thin line.

Hyukjae grunts in annoyance and stands properly up to face the man, who has changed his IronMan shirt to a white v-neck, and jeans. In his eyes Donghae is exactly everything he’s not; neat and polished in every way possible. It’s a miracle that Hyukjae even found the strength to struggle himself to shower and change into his current clothes of a simple black shirt and ripped skinny jeans.

He gives the other a hard glare—because Donghae is already doing the same at him. It’s not a question so he doesn’t need to answer; he keeps his mouth shut until Donghae is already on again.

“Do you even have an idea what are you going to do since you get there, then?” Donghae continues, scrutinizing Hyukjae’s entire being, obviously suspicious about his every damn move.

“Well, talk her to take the kid back?” he hisses, tucking his hands into the pockets of his dark denim jeans, shoulders tense and clenching his jaw. It might seem like Donghae pisses him off—although it’s actually not the other that exactly is the reason of his irritation. The nervousness is starting to get to him and it’s already pushing him on the edge.

There’s an abstract silence, as if it’s full of unsaid thoughts when they keep staring at each other. Hyukjae’s head buzzes. He really wants to get out of here.

Hyukjae proceeds to take his jacket from the racket—which Donghae must have put there—ready to leave and make things right.

“What if she refuses to take her back?” The voice now cutting through the air is different than before, low and more uncertain, questioning and doubtful.

As Hyukjae ogles him and tries to get the meaning between the lines, the uncomfortableness only increases. Should he be offended about Donghae’s indifferent yet critical glares, compared to the actual feeling of being badly off track with his actual thoughts, not least emotions? Everything that crosses his mind, he hastily tries to push back, because it’s too much. He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do if she’s not going to take Jaemin back. He hasn’t thought about that. What if she really refuses? What is he going to do, really? Exactly knowing what his ex-girlfriend is like, it doesn’t even sound absurd. But it’s not a possibility in his mind. Nevertheless, the thoughts ignite cold shivers to run over his skin, creeping him out.

Hyukjae unconsciously turns to have a look of the girl that’s currently seated on his couch with her stuffed toy held in her embrace. Four years and it’s the second day he’s ever been with her.

“Well?” Donghae inquires, watching Hyukjae closely.

It feels like his head is full of sawdust, and not anything that would make sense is apparent anymore.

“We take your car then,” Hyukjae mutters, ruffling his slightly moist, messy hair. Why does it feel like the air is running out? “Let’s get going so we can get over with this…”

“We have to take the girl too,” Donghae says matter-of-factly, turning towards the living room’s way. “Jaemin! Come here,” he calls out for her, of course receiving no soundly answers.

“Right. Can I go first and wait you outside?” Hyukjae asks impatiently, already gripping the handle of the front door.

“I guess you're not for any help here either. Do you have the address?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Donghae mutters and leaves to turn the TV off as Jaemin climbs down the couch.

Hyukjae leaves before another word is said, anxiously closing the door after him. Donghae only manages to catch a glimpse of his retreating back. With a deep sigh, he turns his attention to the girl who’s now watching at him with wide-eyes as he closes the screen.

“We’ll go for a little ride, okay?” he explains, realizing that she starts getting anxious too now that Hyukjae isn’t around anymore. “Hyukjae is waiting us outside. Can you put on your shoes by yourself?”

With a nod she goes ahead, and for just in case, Donghae drifts by the bedroom and takes her backpack with him. Jaemin has her shoes neatly on her feet already, and he gently decides to praise her for it. She shares him a shy smile, and it is able to make Donghae both impressed and contemplative; she does so many things on her own, that her independence puzzles him. Not all 4 year olds are so willing nor obedient to do as they’re asked to without any help. He might even find her overly cautious and ready to do all those things by her own, as if she’s a little afraid of something. Once again, he’s unsure if it’s just Jaemin’s personality or an effect of something else—and if it’s an effect, then it could not have been caused by Hyukjae. So what options does it leave him? He refuses to think these things further, and brushes the thoughts off his mind, as he gently hurries Jaemin out of the door as they leave the apartment.

The car ride is quiet except from Donghae’s navigator babbling him the directions. It’s almost an half an hour ride to the area where Jiah lives, and when they get closer, everything slowly turns into grim, unapproachable grayscales. The neighborhoods give an even more distrust-inspiring feeling than the ones where Hyukjae himself lives.

The knot down on his stomach also grows thicker.

The brunet doesn’t know what he’s expecting to happen. It’s impossible to say, although the bad feelings worsens every minute, confusing him. He’s about to get rid of the kid, but there’s this voice in the back of his head, threatening him that there’s more to come.

The seat feels uncomfortable, the air heavy and dry, and all the noises of the car’s tires turning against the road sound extremely loud in his ears.

What is he supposed to think, or feel like? Is it supposed to feel like he’s drowning?

Suddenly the car halts, and is being parked on the edge of street.

“This is it?” Donghae asks with a strained tone, glancing outside through Hyukjae’s window. He stares back at Donghae with anxious eyes, noting that Donghae doesn’t seem relaxed either. His eyes then wander back to his own side, and he grabs the handle of the door, knuckles turning white.

He’s about to take a look of his daughter, who’s sitting at the backseat with her dog, but he decides not to.

“I guess so.”

The two-floor apartment building on their right has probably been pearl white back in the good old days, but now everything has already fallen into disrepair. It doesn’t seem like a nice place for a kid to live.

Hyukjae closes his eyes and clasps his hand harder around the handle, ready to go, but Donghae interposes again.

“What are you going to say?”

“I don’t know,” he grunts, opening the door and stepping out of the car. He doesn’t wait for answers when he slams the door after him as he’s already occupied on inspecting the surroundings; there’s two staircases and four doors in total, two of them being at the ground level. The note on his hand indicates she lives in the one on the down right, only a fifty meters of gravel away. The blinds on the windows are closed, and there’s nothing personal to see outside the apartment other than few jars occupying as ashtrays and emptied glass bottles on a row.

A car’s door is being opened behind his back as he stares ahead towards the house, feeling alarmed and uneasy, because his consciousness keeps nagging at the back of his head. He could guess Donghae has stepped out of the car to observe the situation, and it doesn’t make him feel any less difficult.

Oh, bollocks. Stop thinking about nonsense crap and get the kid back to her mother. Keep it together, Hyukjae, he orders himself, and despite not being very delighted to meet Jiah, he walks to the door, stops behind it, and knocks for four times.

He winces when the door opens after a half a minute.

A taller man with a pale looking face with red rimmed eyes stares at him, reeking like cigarettes and maybe alcohol and probably something more. He might not be much older than Hyukjae, but he’s precisely even more stray-looking than he is.

“What do you want?” the man grunts coarsely, leaning against the doorjamb and seeming quite a lot irritated.

A darker and colder expression rises to Hyukjae’s face although inside he’s more uncertain than he lets out.

“Is Jiah here?” he grumbles nonchalantly, gritting his teeth. The man opposite to him narrows his eyes, gripping the doorframe tighter.

“Depends on who’s asking,” the man answers. In Hyukjae’s opinion he could be handsome if he took a little more care of himself. His eyes are dazed, and his short, pitch black hair messy.

“An ex.”

“Who is it?” another voice soon interferes, and Hyukjae could recognize the voice anywhere. Jiah appears behind her apparent boyfriend, opening the door wider. When she notices Hyukjae standing in front of their door, she freezes for a second before a strained “Hyukjae” escapes from her lips.

She doesn’t look very good.

Hyukjae takes a closer look of her disheveled appearance, the same type of reddish eyes and paler face as her boyfriend’s. It seems like she’s lost weight. In fact she looks awful.

“Hyukjae?” the man repeats, and Jiah pushes her hand onto his chest, pushing him back inside. “That kid’s father?”

“Minho, get inside, okay,” she orders, and she sounds tired, but even more like she’s pretty out of it.

The man grunts in dissatisfaction, but slowly, he disappears back into the apartment. Jiah takes his place against the doorframe, and Hyukjae notes the hollowed cheeks and chapped lips.

“You look like ,” he suddenly retorts, receiving an annoyed huff back. She smells strongly like cigs and other stuff he’s able to recognize. The churning down on his stomach starts again.

“What do you want,” Jiah hisses then.

“What do I want?” the brunet asks in disbelief, “You gotta take the girl back, that’s what I want. I’m not gonna keep her.” His breath hitches as he talks, eyebrows furrowing in half-anger and irritation.

“You can’t just drop her behind my door like that!” he continues, pointing swiftly towards the car.

“Is she with you?” she asks, trying to catch a glimpse with eyes of a deer in the headlights.

“Where else would she be?” the one year older man snarls. He really didn’t expect Jiah to be in this kind of a state. She’s never gone so low before. It makes him wonder how long she’s been into something stronger than mere cigarettes and alcohol. “What were you thinking? Do I seem like a parent to you? Didn’t I make it clear that I’m not going to be involved!” his tone goes higher as the volume raises slightly.

“I can’t keep her here!” the woman snaps back. “She’s on the way. There’s not enough money—“

Hyukjae snorts in disbelief. “You kept her for four years and suddenly you can’t anymore?”

“You don’t get it—“

“What do I don’t get? What is it? Him?” he needs to recall for the man’s name for a second before he keeps going, “Minho? He doesn’t like kids or what?”

“She’s a nuisance!” Jiah exclaims, almost yelling at him, but Hyukjae’s not unfamiliar with it. She always had a temper as does he, and it was evitable that they clashed from time to time. However, this is not exactly what he’s expected to hear.

He’s getting angry and frustrated.

“What are you getting these days, huh? Ritalin?” he asks with an even lower growl.

It’s the first drug that comes to his mind, because she already used it in after she got out of high school. At first, it was just a prescribed medication for her concentration issues in school—but sometimes it got out of hand. He knows what it is, he’s tried it once, but he’s always known where to draw the line. He knows too many lost cases because of drugs.

She looks like she hasn’t slept for days. Her pupils are dilated and she’s already panting.

“I can’t keep her! She’s always on the way, I’m tired of looking after that kid. There’s not enough money for even the two of us.”

“How could that be?” he asks sarcastically, eyes narrowed and jaw extremely rigid as he clenches his teeth together.

“I don’t want her! You’re her father, you should take responsibility! I didn’t sign up for this!”

“Neither did I!” Hyukjae yells. “I made my opinion about this very clear four years ago, but you decided to take the wrong way!”

Despite what he’s saying, everything’s starting to get clearer.

“Look at you,” he grimaces at her, “I didn’t think you’d ever go this low. How long have you been like this? Has the girl been around every time you’ve been high?”

“Now you’re judging me?” Jiah laughs dryly, “Don’t make me laugh, Hyukjae.”

“Are you ing serious?” He’s getting really, really upset. The first thing in his mind is not even the matter that he’s supposed to return Jaemin anymore. He can’t really believe things have gone this bad. He doesn’t know how much Donghae has heard. He doesn’t really care. His head is even more of a mess than it was mere fifteen minutes ago.

“Now you’re on her side, huh? I’m the bad guy now, aren’t I?” she yells, taking a grip of the front of Hyukjae’s shirt. “You come barging in here saying that you don’t want her, and the next second you’re against me?”

“I never thought you’d be like this! I didn’t know she had to live with your too!”

Even if she doesn’t want his daughter in his life, even he realizes this is not a proper place for a growing kid to live. She doesn’t deserve to live with a mother whose life turns around the matter of getting high, because it’s all she thinks anymore. She doesn’t deserve to live in a place where the first thing where all the money goes is for drugs, and not for proper food and other stuff a kid needs. Jaemin doesn’t need to see her mother getting hallucinations because of the drug, nor get abandoned when she starts getting withdrawal symptoms.

For all he cares, it’s just not fair.

“Different thoughts about leaving her here, is there? What are you gonna do now, Hyukjae? Take her in, as I asked? Oh you would do so much better than me, knowing you,” she goes with her sarcastic and ironical tone that is more serious than Hyukjae is used to. She seems frustrated, and her eyes glimmer in unshed tears. Hyukjae knows she hates letting her emotions out as tears, and he knows it’s not going to turn any better if she actually starts crying. Knowing her, she’s only going to get worse from here.

He crasps her wrists, trying to get her angry grip off himself.

“You think you can handle her? You think you’d be any better than me? What are you going to do alone, huh? Or do you have someone who’s gonna play a nice little mom to her now?” she inquires, starting to get very incoherent. Her behavior is starting to get oppressing; the whole situation is as ed up as it could ever be.

“You’re not making any sense!” Hyukjae bawls out, pushing her off him.

“You’re going to play home now? As far as I know you, Hyuk, you’re not any better than me. You’re not any better! Who’s gonna be a mother figure for her instead of me? ”

“At least I don’t do drugs, for ’s sake! Get off me!”

She lurches backwards.

For five seconds, neither of them says a word. But then she glances over his shoulder, towards the car and probably ends up actually seeing the girl sitting inside the car. It’s not Jaemin that she gives her attention towards to, though.

“Who is he?” she asks. She’s starting to sound mad.

“Who?”

“Well, that car definitely doesn’t belong to you. Who is he?” she repeats again, more agitated every second. She seems like she’s lost control a long way ago.

Hyukjae glances towards the car, seeing Donghae standing beside the front of the car, arms crossed and expression serious, almost concerned what’s going on. This is definitely not looking very good in his eyes.

“Oh, you, Hyukjae,” she suddenly claims, “Of course you wouldn’t be able to take care of her alone.”

“What?” he narrows his eyes, extremely pissed off about her -fit. He really didn’t believe things could be this bad.

“You sleeping around with guys now, too?”

“What the ?” he almost yells, desperate. “For Christ’s sake, Jiah, you are out of your ing mind. What the happened to you? I didn’t thought you’d be this stupid. You’ve lost it. You promised you wouldn’t, don’t you remember?”

He remembers a clear night years ago, when they made a promise that neither of them wouldn’t lose the game to drugs or anything worse than alcohol. Their fun wasn’t supposed to last forever, and Hyukjae never wanted anything like this to happen. She was always the more erratic one, the one who was too daredevil for her own good, and he was afraid something like this could happen someday. That's why he ever made her promise.

But this is the day the promise is no longer valid to him.

The tears run down her hollowed cheeks now, and she’s obviously on the bottom of her emotions already.

“I didn’t promise anything to you!” she hollers, raging. Her tears seem bittersweet, and her words are clear lies.

Hyukjae feels the burning sensation in his own eyes too, but it’s all for lost hope, lost friendship and lost memories that used to have good pieces along the way. It was good as long as it lasted, but it’s now over.

“Get the out of here,” Jiah cries, the previous power from her voice disappearing. “I don’t want to see you again. I don’t want to see the girl either. Get the out my life!”

“Jiah, listen—!”

It’s useless. She pushes him backwards, but he doesn’t lose his balance; she doesn’t have enough strength to make him fall.

“Get lost!”

“Jiah, come on—!”

“I don’t want to see you two ever again!”

It happens too fast for him to realize what she’s about to do.

She grabs something from the ground, and in no time something painfully hits Hyukjae’s head. For a moment he feels like he’s going to black out.

He falls backwards on the ground, growling in pain as his head spins horribly around. He hears a distant sound of his name being called, but it’s muffled and he can’t get it clear in his head. Something starts dripping down from his temple. As he touches it, it feels warm, and as he brings his fingers in front of his blurred sight, he notes the redness on his fingertips. His head aches like , and he can’t really keep his eyes open for a minute.

The door is closed, and Jiah is gone.

“Hyukjae!”

The brunet palpates the ground around him with his other hand, hissing as something sharp meets his skin. After a moment his head starts to get back to its senses, and he cautiously open his eyes, despite the horrible throbs on his forehead.

“ing hell,” he grunts, trying to stand up as he now hears rustling from behind him.

“Hyukjae! Are you all right?” Donghae suddenly appears beside him, clasping on his shoulder to get a better look of his face.

“God damn it, that ,” the older grumbles quietly, wiping some of the blood off on his fingers and then onto the side of his jeans. The liquid drops over his left eye, and forces him to close it.

“Let me look,” Donghae nags impatiently, crowding out Hyukjae’s hair around the wound. He tries to ignore Donghae’s fingers trying to push his own away, but he consents eventually as the younger keeps huffing at him in irritation. “I’m only trying to help, you moron. Let me take a look at it.”

He exhales in exasperation.

“So she throw a plate onto you,” the other male states somewhat calmly, but a bit bewildered, maybe even a bit amused.

“Great,” Hyukjae growls, “ing great.”

“Stop moving, I’m trying to see how many stitches you need this time.”

Hyukjae’s a little taken aback by the sudden care—gentleness, even.

Standing on his feet makes him feel dizzy again, and as his head feels like a tornado in a thunderstorm, he grabs his hand onto the closest thing he finds, which is Donghae’s arm.

“You feel dizzy?” the nurse asks, a little warily.

“I’m fine.”

There’s a short silence, until Donghae lets his hand fall off Hyukjae’s temple and he gives a fast glance towards the closed door.

“It didn’t seem to go very well.”

“You don’t say,” Hyukjae sighs. Why is everything so messy? It was messy already at the start, now it’s even worse. “She’s…” He doesn’t know what to say.

“I heard… Most of it,” Donghae comments shortly. Hyukjae stares at the ground, trying to keep himself steady. “Let’s head back… We have to clean that wound and I probably need to give you a few stitches again. Can you walk straight?”

“Don’t with me now, Donghae. I can walk on my own.”

“Alright.”

The car is still a bit blurry in his eyes, but he eventually gets to the passenger’s side and grips on the door. Donghae observes him from the other side before he sits in the car after him.

Donghae starts the engine, and the vehicle hums as it starts.

“How’s she…?” Hyukjae turns to take a look to the backseat, but his head throbs in pain again and he has to turn back and hold his head. “e…”

“Shh,” Donghae hushes, “She fell asleep before anything crucial went on.”

Hyukjae’s head might hurt like a , but he knows he’s deep in the now. The girl’s mother is out of the options.

“What the hell I’m gonna do now,” he hisses, leaning the good side of his head against the cold windowsill, hoping that it would ease the pain.

“Let’s think about that later. I need to get that hard head of yours done,” Donghae mutters, “I need to stop at home first, though. It doesn’t take long.”

“Whatever. Just be quick,” the older says tiredly, trying to shut off the traffic inside his pained head.

Still…

What the hell is going to happen from now on?

I'm so screwed.

an 0616: a little longer chapter.  
sorry for any stupid typos present, I'm a little too tired atm (3:47am lalala).

idk if those three are getting somewhere or not?

I hope you liked the chapter...... 

thanks for reading!

*Ritalin: "Ritalin is a drug that is commonly used to treat ADHD.
However, it is also a drug that is consistently abused to try to get high or focus on school work."