^{_{. .}} fifteen ^{_{. .}}

The days start to repeat the same formula: Donghae wakes up first, and wakes up Hyukjae before he heads to work if it’s not too early. They eat porridge, cereals or scrambled eggs for breakfast. After that they either draw, watch tv, go feed the ducks or play at the playground, where Hyukjae keeps trying to listen to the women and Jaemin builds sandcastles. They come home, and Hyukjae reheats yesterday’s leftovers. Jaemin likes to watch Paw Patrol and build the Legos Donghae brought. Meanwhile, Hyukjae tries his best to do something useful; laundry, dishes, maybe vacuum. But often he just ends up slacking beside his daughter, watching the kids’ shows with her. He makes up some snacks, which is usually cereal, or some chopped fruit, or a sandwich. She doesn’t like ham, only cheese. Hyukjae doesn’t really have a lot of imagination to make up new ideas. They often take a nap in the afternoon, before Donghae returns and cooks them something. Hyukjae’s not very good at that either; so far he’s only managed to get banned from the kitchen altogether. Sometimes after dinner, one or the other bathes the girl. She could sit in the tub for hours, playing with plastic ducks or blowing bubbles if someone doesn’t put a timeline. Donghae studies. They watch some more tv, or draw. After some supper, Jaemin brushes her teeth and she’s fast to fall asleep. Donghae keeps studying for a while, before he heads to take a shower. Hyukjae stares at the ceiling or his phone, before he falls asleep.

His interactions with Donghae are a little vague and they mainly revolve around the same things over and over again. They bicker and argue, but Hyukjae keeps thinking Donghae is still keeping his distance, for whatever reason he’s yet to figure out.

But one thing he’s quite confident about: Donghae and Jaemin are getting along better every day. She’s still shy, but Hyukjae has noticed the change, even how slow it is. And Donghae is good with the kid, he doesn’t push her too hard, and often remembers to encourage Jaemin better than he does. Donghae gets surprised every day by her progress.

“Dongha-ii.”

“Dong-hae,” the nurse corrects softly, as he puts a Lego on top of another. The red and yellow bricks are starting to look something relative to a house.

“Ha-ii,” Jaemin chimes again.

For almost ten minutes the two have debated how Donghae’s name should be said. Jaemin doesn’t quite get it yet.

Hyukjae snorts to himself, finding the focused look on her daughter’s face rather adorable as her brows keep furrowing in concentration. The man watches the two with a smile. Donghae is sitting on the floor with Jaemin, and the Legos spread all over between them.

Hyukjae checks the time from his phone, the numbers showing 9:55am. It’s Donghae’s first day off from work after four days, and he wonders if Donghae would stay or leave. Because he really doesn’t need to stay; Hyukjae can’t force the younger to spend every day with them, but Donghae does seem like he’s in no hurry to get out. His whole presence confuses him, to tell the truth. Even if the other has apologized to him, it’s impossible to figure out if Donghae wants to be friends again or not. He’s there, but is Hyukjae stupid enough to think they could actually be friends again?

“It’s with an E, not I,” Donghae replies, still smiling; there is a lot more patience with the girl than he has with Hyukjae. His back leaning against the couch, he waits.

“Eee,” the girl huffs, and the letter itself is said correctly. “Donghai.”

“Donghae,” Hyukjae putts in to the conversation from the couch.

Jaemin stares at her father, mind obviously bubbling with something.

“Why no daddy, too?” she finally asks, eyes bright and innocent, lips on a pout.

Donghae boggles on the floor, and Hyukjae stares at the kid. They stare at each other for a good minute, both confused, for different reasons, Hyukjae mostly just thrown off guard.

The younger man takes a deep, rather nosy inhale. “Because—“

“If you call Donghae daddy too, how I’m supposed to know when you’re talking to me?” Hyukjae talks over, but he contemplates what Donghae was going to say. He can’t really see his face from the couch.

“Oh,” Jaemin mumbles, putting few blocks to their Lego house.

Donghae stands up from the floor, and Hyukjae’s eyes follow him closely. “Where are you going?”

“Bathroom,” Donghae notes, a little breathless, scratching his neck as he exits the living room without looking Hyukjae in the eye.

Is it something he said, again?

He turns towards his daughter. “One more time, okay? Donghae.”

“Donghae.”

“That’s right!” Hyukjae hollers happily. “Donghae, did you hear that!”

He doens’t get an answer, but the grins on the father’s and daughter’s faces are racing.

Donghae returns back to the living room after a minute, his face still flustered, which makes Hyukjae eye at him in confusion. Did he really say something that got to him?

“Donghae, did you hear what Jaemin just said?” he asks, frowning.

“Huh?” Donghae turns to look at him, but his eyes immediately wander somewhere else.

“Jaemin, what did you just said?”

“Donghae!” she chimes proudly, and Hyukjae observes closely Donghae’s response.

The brunet’s face turns from somber to slowly beaming, his toothy smile finally appearing. His mood change puzzles the older greatly, but at the same time, he can’t stop looking at Donghae; he’s so different with the girl, it seems he almost forgets everything around him – but with Hyukjae, he remains timid and withdrawn. And Hyukjae can’t put his finger around it.

He watches the two for a while, until the doorbell rings. The rings sound impatient, rather aggressive, and although the sound is totally different, it takes Hyukjae back to the day the girl appeared for a long second. It hasn’t been a week, yet it feels like it has been way longer than that, and at the same time, just yesterday. So many things has happened with as many changes to his daily life.

“Are you expecting someone?” Donghae asks, waking Hyukjae from his racing thoughts.

“N-no,” he mutters, eyebrows furrowed low as he stands up to get the door. He has no idea who it could be. His best guess would be Taehyung, maybe. Othan than him, there isn’t a lot of people who even knew where he lived.

Straightening his loose shirt and clearing his throat, he realizes that if the one behind his door is Taehyung, he would have a lot of explaining to do.

But when he opens the door, it’s not Taehyung.

It’s Jiah. Someone he would have least expected to see there. He stares at her for a second, the last encounter suddenly very fresh in mind. But his expression flashes from a surprised to an angry one very fast.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he hisses, stepping forward in front of the gap that would let her see into his apartment. He observes the woman, eyes very stern and hostile, looking up and down through her essence. She doesn’t seem any better than last time. Actually it’s worse. The bags under her eyes, the redness on them, her messy hair and dishevelent clothes. She has her fingers clasped together in front of her, but Hyukjae can see the tremors. And as he stares longer, he can see that she’s been crying, or something like that; everything about her screams pitiful to him, and all the emotions Hyukjae feels start boiling closer to the surface.

“H-Hyuk,” she stammers, something in the tone sounding desperate. “It’s nice to see you,” she continues, but it isn’t sincere.

“Yeah, right,” he snarls back, “You were so thrilled to see me the last time.” He points the scar on his head.

“I’m sorry about that,” she sniffles, “I just… I just thought...”

Hyukjae grits his teeth tighter, gripping to the side of the door violently.

“I wan to see the girl,” Jiah pleads, her eyes starting to glimmer.

Hyukjae sees right through her. The woman is high – again, or still, and this is probably because she’s coming down from whatever she uses. The point when the effect of the drugs have started to fade.

“As if. I thought you said you never wanted to see either of us again?” he snaps, trying to keep his voice low, but it is starting to become impossible. He takes a fast peek towards the living room at the end of the hallway, seeing Donghae peeking from the couch worriedly.

“I know, Hyuk. I… I just want to see her,” she whines, trying to take a step closer, maybe a glance inside if the girl would be there. But Hyukjae prevents him, forcing her to back off as he takes a step forward, blocking her.

“No.”

“But she’s my daughter! I have the right to see her!” She’s desperate. Desperate for something. Maybe she’s trying to convince herself that seeing Jaemin would make her feel better about herself. Just Jiah’s style to do something like that. Hyukjae remembers her doing the same back then, and now he understands what an idiot he’s been for ever falling for her lies. If she did something stupid, she would first blame Hyukjae for it, and later come crawling back for forgiveness and whatever the hell she was after.

“I said no,” he growls, pushing the door backwards, but it doesn’t shut yet.

“I want to see Jaemin! Jaemin, are you there?! Come see mommy! Mommy misses you,” she tries shouting to the apartment, but Hyukjae pushes her further away from it.

“She doesn’t want to see you!” the man hisses again. His body trembles in anger. He just wants the woman to disappear. She’s already shown that she has no real interest in the kid. “You gave your right to see her the minute you dropped her at my door! You need to leave.”

The tears are already pouring down her colorless cheeks, and her tremors have gotten worse. Hyukjae knows that she would cause a scene when she doesn’t get her demands met.

“I’m not leaving anywhere! Jaemin!” she yells, trying to struggle her way through as she grabs Hyukjae’s shirt and arm, trying to push or pull him away from the door. “I need to see my daughter!” she screams, ripping and trashing against the male despite him fighting back. “ you Hyukjae, you can’t stop me! Let me see her!”

“The hell I will!” he snarls, trying to keep his cool but it’s starting to get difficult as she keeps struggling, scratching and pushing against him. “Can’t you see who’s the problem here?!”

“Let me see her!” she keeps screaming, probably waking the whole building from its slumber. She scratches Hyukjae’s arm, and he feels the sting, but he doesn’t budge until she suddenly bites his palm, causing him to howl in pain and joggle just enough for her to slip pass by him.

“Jaemin!” she yells.

“Jiah, no!” Hyukjae manages to catch her by clasping to her jacket, pulling him back off from the entrance.

Donghae shouts his name in frighten, and Hyukjae flashes him a look, shouting at the younger man hurriedly, “Stay with her!”

He shuts the door with his foot by force, making sure she won’t get in another time. He grabs her from behind, dragging her further. “You’re not seeing her, can’t your hear! I said no! You made your damn choice! You left her all by yourself!”

Still struggling, she keeps trashing on his hold.

“Let me go! I ing hate you! LET ME SEE HER!” Jiah screams even louder, her screeches echoing in the otherwise quiet hallways.

Hyukjae feels so frustrated and angry and betrayed and disappointed. Why is all this falling to his shoulders?

“You need to ing calm down! You are high as a kite, you’re not thinking straight! You seriously think I would let you meet her like this? She must be so ing proud of you, having an addict as a mother,” he growls deeper, like a pitbull in rage, even when he knows it might just provoke her more. But he’s not going to let go.

He doesn’t have time to think about his neighbors. The only thing Hyukjae can focus on, is protecting the girl.

“I have rights! Let go off me!” she goes on, suddenly managing to clasp her fingers around Hyukjae’s hair, tucking on it tightly.

“You need to calm the down!”

But she just screams louder and louder, scratching the man with her nails, and hitting him anywhere she’s able to. And at some point, biting Hyukjae again, and causing him to jolt, she has her chance at throwing a punch at him.

It’s impossible to think straight. Everything circles so loud in Hyukjae’s head. He’s afraid she’d manage to hurt the girl if she had the chance, and he tries everything to keep her away from the door. But the battling is getting exhausting, and Hyukjae just wants it to stop, but somehow, she keeps fighting back, not giving him a way to talk her down.

He doesn’t notice, as he struggles in the middle of the hallway, when a door across his apartment opens, and a man rushes outside.

“Hey, hey! Lady!” the man shouts, hurrying to help Hyukjae who’s currently defending himself from her endless fit. The man grabs her shoulder, but she keeps scratching, kicking and hitting Hyukjae with all the energy she has. It’s as if she’s gone rapid; nothing she says makes sense and it’s mostly gibberish and profanities, her mouth foaming in madness.

The man manages to pull her off Hyukjae, pushing her against the floor after she’s smacked Hyukjae’s head hardly against the floor.

A woman from the same apartment has a phone on her ear, talking with someone. Her eyes are worried and she seems scared, but who wouldn’t? Jiah is crazy, and Hyukjae’s gotten the worst of it.

Lying on the floor, head spinning from the impact and every part of his body stinging and aching in agony, Hyukjae slowly hears distant footsteps from the staircase. His neighbor keeping Jiah still against the floor with difficulties, as she never stops screaming, two blue suited police men appear. He doesn’t hear what they say, he can’t make sense of it.

“You need to calm down, M’am!” one of the police orders, as he grabs her from her armpits, freeing Hyukjae’s neighbor. “Can you hear me? You’re just making this harder for yourself if you keep resisting. Let’s calm down! You need to come to the station with us.”

The other police, a little older, bends down next to Hyukjae.

It’s when Donghae appears from Hyukjae’s apartment, holding and protecting Jaemin in his arms. She’s crying, and obviously scared. Jiah’s voice has reached most likely every apartment during the incident.

“Hyukjae!” Donghae gasps, fear and worry written all over his face. The man and the woman from across the hall give him a look as he rushes closer.

“Are you alright, sir? Do we need to call an ambulance? She’s going with us,” he says, as the other police struggles down the stairs with Jiah, who has finally calmed down a notch.

For one last time, Jiah’s scream reach Hyukjae’s ears. “You’re not any better than me, you piece of ! Did you hear that, Hyukjae?!”

“I’m fine,” Hyukjae finally struggles to say, swallowing.

“Are you sure, sir?” the police replies, giving a look at the bystanders.

Donghae decides to put in, “I-I’m a certified nurse, I can take a look at him. He’s my… He’s my friend.”

“Tell me your name, sir. Can you please tell what happened here? We need a statement,” the officer continues.

“L-Lee Hyukjae,” he starts, but struggles to put words to together as his head feels like it’s going to explode. It’s just too much. Jaemin’s cries creeps to his ears, and it’s impossible to think straight.

“Can I please take a look at him first?” Donghae stammers, at the same time as he tries to comfort the girl on his embrace.

The woman from the neighboring apartment suddenly steps forward, waving her hand to Donghae suggestively. She’s in her thirties, a woman with a soft smile and an essence completely opposite to Jiah’s.

“I can hold her as you make sure your friend’s alright? Would that be alright? We have two kids,” she offers calmly.

The kindness and trusworthy nature appeal to Donghae enough to let her hold Jaemin after a short ponder. “T-thank you,” he says as he hands the girl over, even if it breaks his heart a little. But she’s only frightened, and not in any anger any more.

The woman’s husband starts talking, addressing the officer, “We heard the fight in the hallway, and as it seemed to escalade I came to help. She kept demanding to see the girl.”

The police nods, looking at Hyukjae again.

“Can you tell me the attacker’s name, Mr. Lee?”

“It’s… It’s my ex-girlfriend… Moon Jiah. The girl’s mother. She’s using—she’s… I wouldn’t let her meet Jaemin. I couldn’t trust her in that state. She was high, as usual.”

“Alright, sir. I’ll let your friend…?”

“Lee Donghae,” the brunet mutters.

“I’ll let Donghae check on you, we’re taking her to the station. Has this happened before?”

“She attacked him just last week. She threw a plate at him,” Donghae notes to the officer. “You can see the scar on his forehead...”

“I see. I would like you to come at the station later, to give a proper statement. You might want to think about filing a restraining order. Has she harmed the child?”

“Uh, we’re not sure exactly. Not today, the least,” Donghae continues with a wary exhale, finally crouching down next to Hyukjae.

“So you’re going to be alright?”

“I think so," Hyukjae mutters.

"Thank you, officer,” Donghae says quietly, eyeing Hyukjae as he bites his lips between his teeth in concern.

The police officer nods one last time, before he takes his leave to his partner.

It’s suddenly very quiet in the hallway except from Jaemin’s muffled, tired sobs in the background, as Donghae focuses on Hyukjae, his neighbors still standing close by.

Hyukjae has managed to sit up, but he feels dizzy. And it’s not just him hitting his head, again, but everything. Just everything.

Donghae stares at him, seeing how the skin around his eye is starting to bruise and a part of his jaw redden along the few scratches all over his cheeks, the bite marks on his hand and on his arm, and the blood running from his nose.

“Does anything feel broken?” Donghae asks the older male softly, taking a look at the man’s occipital which seems to be intact.

“No,” Hyukjae murmurs, still breathless.

Donghae examines Hyukjae’s eyes, they seem normal. But he lifts Hyukjae’s hands, staring at the deep bite marks, aghast. The skin is broken a bit in few places, and they would leave some scarring for a while. “She bit you.”

“She was just…” Hyukjae exhales, the exhaustion bubbling inside, a pile on his throat burning up. “She went crazy. She wouldn’t listen...”

“I know, I heard everything… I’m sorry I couldn’t help you—“

“I asked you to look after Jaemin.”

“But still—,” the look on Donghae’s face is frustrated and worried at the same time. It seems like he’s blaming himself again.

“Not your fault,” Hyukjae huffs.

Donghae turns the palm of Hyukjae’s hand, making him hiss. He furrows his eyebrows. “Your wrist hurts?

Hyukjae grimaces. “A little, yeah.”

“There might be a fracture,” Donghae swallows, holding Hyukjae’s other arm that seems fine. “Can you stand?”

“Y-yeah,” the older mutters, and he lets Donghae support his back as he tenuously stands up. His head keeps spinning, and his limbs doesn’t feel strong enough. He leans against Donghae, and manages to get up with his help. Hyukjae turns to look at his daughter, feeling the anger all over again as he sees the red and puffy eyes, and the dried tears covering her cheeks. She’s quieted down by the exhaustion, leaning against the woman’s shoulder and gripping on her shirt. He realizes he’s one of the women from the park; the playground moms. He turns to look at his other neighbor, the man he’s seen a few times but has never talked to.

“Thank you,” Hyukjae says to him, “I don’t know what could’ve happened if you didn’t stop her.”

“Anytime. I’m Sungmin, and this is my wife Saeun,” Sungmin says with a smile. His wife nods with another similar smile.

“Nice to meet you, despite the circumstances... I’m so sorry this had to happen,” Hyukjae replies tiredly.

“Doesn’t seem like it was your fault,” Saeun says softly, as she pets the girl’s back in slow circles. Jaemin’s about to fall asleep soon.

“I should call mom,” Donghae says after a minute, “She could watch Jaemin for a while.”

Hyukjae gazes at the man, unsure. Hasn’t he already caused enough ruckus? “Is that a good idea?” he asks, his dry lips. He tastes the blood on his tongue, and he wipes his nose, wincing.

“She won’t mind,” Donghae assures.

“I can watch Jaemin until your mother gets here?” Saeun cuts in, “Our kids are with my parents. I don’t mind.”

Hyukjae clenches his jaw. “I can’t ask you to do that...”

“But it’s alright, we don’t mind at all,” Sungmin says with another smile.

Hyukjae’s stomach churns. He feels so bad for these people. He’s embarrassed and tired. For all his life, he’s just causing trouble after another.

“We appreciate it, really,” Donghae ends up ending the conversation, knowing from Hyukjae’s face that he would have wanted to decline otherwise. “I need to clean those cuts, I can’t watch the girl at the same time. You might have a concussion. It was a hard blow.”

Hyukjae grumbles, but Donghae’s bossy stare shuts him up.

It takes five minutes before Jaemin falls asleep. When Saeun has put her to bed in Hyukjae’s bedroom, she returns to the living room whilst Sungmin has taken the right to make some coffee for them. The same time, Hyukjae sits on the couch, as Donghae cleans up the mess Jiah has caused.

Hyukjae keeps wincing and whining, and Donghae tries his best to clean up his face. The nosebleed hasn’t wanted to stop, but as most of it has come out, Donghae has ordered Hyukjae to hold his nose and tilt just minimally, keeping his head over his heart.

“Stop wincing,” Donghae groans, as he pats one of the scratches on his left cheek. It’s the only scratch that’s bled, although just a little.

“Bud id stings,” Hyukjae replies with a nasal tone, giving a look of slight annoyance to the other.

Donghae looks back at him, and for a moment it seems just like he’s going to sneeze, but he’s just trying to hold a laugh. “Stop talking,” he snorts instead. He tries to focus on the wounds. And for a minute the soft look lingers, until the concern partly returns.

Hyukjae can’t really do much else but stare at the other. It’s already the second time the other is patching him up, and this time, it feels a little gentler. As unnoticeably as possible, his eyes wander from the young man’s straight nose to the little worry-wrinkle between his eyebrows, then down on his lips. Donghae then happens to bite his lips, and Hyukjae hurries his peripheral vision towards the kitchen, where Sungmin pours a cup of coffee to his wife.

“Donghae’s mom will be here in 15 minutes,” Hyukjae notes after he stops holding his nose. The haemorrhage has seemed to stop, at last.

Sungmin nods. “We’re not in a hurry, if there’s anyway we can help, just ask.”

“Thanks,” Hyukjae mutters back. He is sincere, though.

“You remember me from the playground, don’t you?” Saeun suddenly says, the corner of her lips quirking. “I always wondered where Jaemin’s mother was, since she never came. But I get it now.”

Hyukjae turns his gaze to her, a little flustered.

“We scare you, don’t we? The park moms,” she teases.

In a way, Hyukjae likes the mood change, although it’s a little embarrassing now. He clears his throat.

“You do,” Donghae snorts.

Hyukjae scowls at him.

“Donghae—was it? You should come there too sometime.”

Donghae smiles, but he’s a little awkward. There’s a certain gleam in her eyes, and he’s not sure if she has some hidden meaning in her words. Instead, he steers his focus on Hyukjae’s wrist. He turns it a little, making Hyukjae gringe and hiss again, verifying his initial assumption.

“Darn, you do know that hurts when you do that? Are you doing it on purpose?” Hyukjae scowls again, watching Donghae’s hands suspiciously.

“There’s most likely a small fracture,” Donghae mutters matter of factly. “I’ll wrap it up when mom brings my stuff.”

Hyukjae’s scowl withers as fast as it came. It really seems like Donghae’s in his element; helping, caring. But is he like that just because he has to? Is he just another patient for him, or does he really care? Donghae’s features are soft, he’s a little more relaxed with him than usually, and Hyukjae notices he very much prefers that to the other version that rather avoids him all the time.

And although he doesn’t show it to the outside, he can’t quite stop thinking about whas has just happened, and it gnaws him. Jiah’s last words before the police took her away won’t leave him alone, or without a mark. What if she’s right? That although different, he wouldn’t be any better to Jaemin in the long run? Is he really any better than her?

27.11.17
:P