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It’s usually a ten minute walk to the hospital, but having the girl along seriously slows them down. It has already been over fifteen minutes. Hyukjae has thought about carrying her so they would move faster, but he can’t find the courage to actually do it. It seems too affectionate, and he doesn’t want any of that.

Instead, he tries to pace his steps to match the girl’s.

It’s still quite warm, although the trees tell that summer is indeed changing into fall. The pavements are covered with a thin layer of different yellows and oranges. The sun tries to peek behind the darker clouds, and somehow the weather doesn’t fit the turmoil inside of him at all. It’s too peaceful and calm outside, when inside of himself he’s a desperate mess of feelings.

Walking there with his daughter, he realizes it’s the first time he’s ever met her in person.

And he still struggles to remember her name.

What confuses him a little is the way she doesn’t say—well, at least show—anything against whatever he says. She doesn’t resist anything, but quietly follows. He’s not sure if he should be glad about it or not.

It’s not the walking itself what bothers him. It’s the stares. The man really tries to ignore it, but he can’t help but see people giving odd looks towards him. Well, he’s not exactly the father of the year material with his ragged leather jacket appearance. He’s the one your parents warned you about. He’s the good-for-nothing and the one who’s up to no good. He’s the perfect example about what you should never turn up like.

Every other older woman glares at him along their nose, bridling at him as they pass by. Hyukjae has learned to ignore those stares when he was a lot younger, but now when he has a kid beside him it feels a little different.

The hospital already looms ahead of them when they stop at the traffic lights, and he turns to glance at the girl who stops beside him obediently. He feels an already a little familiar tug on his hoodie, and the agitated churning sensations returns into his stomach.

Hyukjae tries to think over how he’s actually going to persuade his old friend to help him. They’re not friends anymore, and he has easily caught onto the look Donghae always gives him when Hyukjae arrives to the emergency room after a rough night.

He thinks the same way as everybody else.

But Hyukjae needs him. He has to be on duty—there’s no other option.

It takes another five minutes to reach the building, but they finally arrive. It’s Saturday, closing to 5pm, and there’s not so much commotion—but enough people to look at them funnily.

Hyukjae takes a brief look that the girl is still following him, and he marches to grab one of the loitering nurse’s arm after not finding the one he’s looking for at the first glance.

“Hey, you!” he hollers, and the young woman turns to look at him. She has long hair and deep eyes, and for the first impression she could be the type Hyukjae might try to flirt with, but then she shots him a surprising death glare. Eyes wide, he slips his hand off. She condemns him without any shame.

“Yes?” she then finally says.

“Uh,” he ponders his words. “Do you happen to know if—“

“I’m sorry, but you should go ask from the info desk for any detailed information about—“

“No, no, no!—I mean, do you know if Donghae’s on call? I need to see him,” Hyukjae says, growling a little in frustration.

“Donghae?” Her eyes narrow.

“Yes, Lee Donghae, you know the—“

“Well, you need to check in first. We’ll deal with in order of urgency, and I can’t ensure he will be the attending nurse for you.”

“No! This is urgent! I need to speak with him,” Hyukjae protests. It’s obvious she knows Donghae, and it couldn’t annoy the brunet more at the moment. He feels something touching his leg, and he realizes it must be his daughter.

“Have you checked in, mister…?”

“You don’t understand,” he groans, desperately. “Is he here or not?”

“Uh-huh, I don’t think you understand but we have certain policies about dealing with patients –“

She’s being cut off mid-sentence, when a third person—oh thank god—joins their debate whilst looking a little apologetically at the female nurse.

“I can take care of this, Jung.”

Donghae doesn’t give a proper look towards Hyukjae yet. The woman seems a bit offended.

“But—“

“I know him—I’ll deal with this, okay? I’ll use my break now.”

The man has a white hospital jacket and a light blue collared shirt under it. His hair is really dark brown, clean cut, and the expression always a little sad because of the shape of his eyebrows; his skin is not flawless, but he’s definitely the type females always swoon over. He’s the one who’s gotten the good cards in the game of life—the exact opposite from Hyukjae.

Donghae gives the other nurse an assuring nod, and it’s enough, because she leaves. When she’s gone, Donghae slowly turns to finally face Hyukjae with raised eyebrows. He crosses his arms over his chest and eyes expectantly at the male who looks like he’s practically been pulled straight out of bed.

Hyukjae brushes his hand through his hair, not caring about the fact that it doesn’t make his bed head any better.

“I need to talk to you,” he says with a slightly hesitant determination.

There’s people going around them, rushing to and fro, and Hyukjae senses how the girl curls her hand more around his lower thigh as she stands behind him, in hiding. It’s a bit irritating.

Donghae seems like he’s not exactly satisfied with the situation either.

“What is it?” Donghae asks.

Hyukjae bites his lips as he steps a little closer to the other man, rolling the sentence on his tongue before he lets it out, tone lower and unusually polite: “I need your help, mate.” Staring for a short while into Donghae’s eyes Hyukjae hopes the nurse realizes that he’s being serious for once.

“Okay. Well,” he starts with an awkward cough, “Let’s move a little aside—it’s kind of noisy here…”

The dark haired man gives him an unreadable glance, until something catches his eyes. He seems to finally take a note of the little girl standing behind him. The frown turns into an entirely confused expression for a second, before a soft smile grows on his face and he hunches a bit lower.

“Oh, who’s this?” A smile is plastered on his face.

“Uh—she’s…” Hyukjae mumbles, thoughts jumping erratically when he tries to avoid answering the question. Luckily for him—although a bit unluckily for his ego—Donghae nonchalantly ignores him when he keeps blabbering to the girl even when she shyly hides her face onto Hyukjae’s leg again.

“Hey there,” Donghae says delightfully, waving his hand towards her. “You’re a little shy, aren’t you? What if I bought you a hot chocolate—would you like that?”

Hyukjae’s hand goes into his hair again, ruffling the messy mop at the same time he gives Donghae hard glares for fuzzing around the kid he so much wants to get rid of. Whatever, get the girl hot chocolate. Your money, not mine. He rolls his eyes when Donghae continues gently.

“My treat, okay?”

Yeah. Next you’re going to get her a pony.

Hyukjae shifts his head impatiently, hoping Donghae would move already and show him the way wherever he wants to so they could get this out of the way.

“I’ll grab something to eat real quickly from the café first,” Donghae says after waving his hand the second time, sailing a bit ahead of them, and the older man—yes, he still remembers he’s the few months older of them—gives the girl on his pant leg a glance.

Kind of figured. I’m not deaf, you know. I was right here.

“We’re right behind you,” Hyukjae replies shortly, gritting his teeth together.

The girl raises his round eyes to gaze back at him in mild curiosity. Hyukjae muses between the two names he’s had in mind since they arrived, a little unnerved about the fact that Donghae would obviously ask that.  When Donghae is already at the café a bit further away from them, he squats down to the girl’s level. The stuffed toy has been dragged along the floor, and is now laying against her legs.  There’s the washing instructions tag on the dog’s that catches his attention, and Hyukjae notices there’s something scribbled onto it. He reaches for the toy carefully, but stops to look at the girl in question.

“Can I take a look at your doggie?”

She lifts the toy slowly upwards. He takes the toy, and turns it around. Someone must have heard his hopeless wishes since there’s actually a name written on it. And it’s the other one of the two he already had in mind.

“Jaemin,” he mumbles, giving back her dog. “It’s your name, right?”

She nods a little more enthusiastically, pursing her lips.

Hyukjae glances over his shoulder, towards the café. Donghae’s already on the cashier.

“Okay, good,” he sighs, relieved. One trouble less, he thinks, but the nervousness starts to crawl back in. “I’ll have to talk more with that guy we spoke with just now. He’s a…friend. He’s a nice guy. Let’s go, ok?” As Hyukjae stands up, a sound catches him off guard.

“Okay,” Jaemin says softly, pressing the dog against her chest. Again, it’s almost a mere whisper but she definitely just said something.

Hyukjae has to close his mouth, and he doesn’t know what to think. His head goes blank, but he starts walking towards Donghae, expecting her to keep following him. He has to find Jiah as soon as possible—this can’t go on like this.

Donghae has a takeaway cup of coffee and hot chocolate with a sandwich on his hands when he waits t the two to arrive. He’s partly turned towards the front doors, and it looks like he’s going to go outside.

The hospital’s only recreation ground comprises of few park benches, a mediocre water fountain and a punch of flower beds. There’s supposed to be a playground too, but at the moment it’s under construction and not in use, Hyukjae notices.

Donghae halts in front of one of the benches painted in tile red color, and takes a seat on it. Hyukjae stops a meter away from him, remaining on his feet since it feels impossible to sit down right now.  Jaemin follows right behind, but Donghae taps the bench and soundly asks her to come sit with him.

Hyukjae swallows, although his mouth feels horribly dry. It takes a moment for Jaemin to ponder if she can actually trust the man with the white jacket. But towards the girl, the man holds onto the tender expression. The stuffed dog hangs from her hand, reaching the gravels under them when she takes a cautious step toward him. Hyukjae observes them, biting the insides of his mouth, fingers tucked into the pockets of his jeans. The sun glimmers through the clouds, forcing him to narrow his eyes. The weather is still relatively warm, but it doesn’t help him feel any easier. However, the girl takes a step backwards and leans against Hyukjae’s leg again.

He cleans his throat, and Donghae gazes at him expectantly, but there’s some reservation in his otherwise warm eyes. Hyukjae feels the invisible wall between them, but this is his best chance now. He has no idea how to take care of a four year old, and until he finds Jiah, he desperately needs help with that.

Donghae takes a sip of his coffee. His fringe covers part of his eyes with the mug over his mouth. When he drops it lower, he his lips in thought before he mutters in a low voice.

“So, what did you want?”

Hyukjae takes a deep breath.

“This is my…daughter,” he blurts.

Oh well. Here we go.

The coffee goes wrong in Donghae’s throat, and he coughs once, placing his coffee on the bench next to him just in case.

“What?” His eyes go wider. “She’s your what?”

“Daughter.”

“…she’s not.”

“Is.”

“You don’t have a daughter,” Donghae snorts back and takes the hot chocolate. It looks like he’s trying to distract himself from the things he just heard, or he’s trying really hard to focus on understanding them.

“Since four years ago,” Hyukjae retorts matter-of-factly, giving a look at the younger man.

Donghae stirs the chocolate with a plastic spoon, testing if it’s too hot. The frown on his face is slowly getting deeper, and his lips form a thin line.

“That bit—my ex… She sent her to my door with a note saying that she’s done being a mother.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Do I look like I’m joking around?” Hyukjae snarls, making a tilt towards the girl with his head. “I have no ing idea what to do.”

“Language,” Donghae hisses back at the same time he starts opening the plastic around his lunch. He crunches his nose.

Hyukjae grits his teeth again. “I didn’t want this.”

“You’re four years late on that.”

He huffs, getting extremely annoyed. His heart thumbs loudly up in his ears.

“I’m not gonna keep--,” he makes a pointing move with his head again towards the girl grasping onto the toy. “—you know.”

Donghae doesn’t say anything, but takes a sip from his milk coffee. Hyukjae still remembers this look of him; he’s thinking really hard on something. But instead of giving a reply to Hyukjae, he hunches a little lower, trying to make contact with the girl.

“Here’s your chocolate, if you want to drink,” the nurse says in the soft tone, that kind of gets on the other’s nerves. “What’s your name? My name is Donghae.”

Jaemin hides a little more behind his father’s legs, avoiding eye contact.

“She's really shy.”

“Jaemin,” Hyukjae says between.

It goes a bit over Donghae’s ears: “Hmm?”

“Her name is Jaemin.” Hyukjae meets his gaze slowly. There’s a pregnant silence, when Donghae drifts his attention back to the child. His eyes start to wander more carefully on her, examining her appearance. It seems that he’s starting to catch the details, some of them a little alarming. Hyukjae changes the weight onto his other foot, waiting.

“She’s been with you for how long…?” Donghae asks. There’s obviously a hidden meaning in it, and it makes the father toss his neck in pique.

“Barely an hour and half. She was like that when she came ringing my doorbell—alone,” he grumbles, already answering to the question in Donghae’s head.

“Hmm.”

“I’m gonna find her mother, but it’s gonna take a while. Her number doesn’t work anymore and I don’t know where she lives either.”

“You’ll return her,” Donghae notes blankly.

“I know what you’re thinking about, I don’t want—“ Something holds him from saying it. “I’m no good for anyone.”

Donghae remains quiet, the brief quirk of his eyebrows giving out his clear opinion that he, for once, agrees with Hyukjae.

“I need your help, Donghae. Just till I find her mother,” Hyukjae continues, no with a lot more honest desperation lingering on his voice.

Donghae glances at him meaningfully. “Why me?”

The older turns his eyes away, biting his lips for almost ten seconds.

“I don’t have anyone,” he starts, eyes cold and empty. He tries to harden himself; it’s not easy to admit the fact. “You’re the only decent person in my life anymore.” There’s a raise of eyebrows, and it makes him sigh heavily. “I know, we’re not really friends anymore, and I don’t know how to repay this to you, but I have no idea how to be with a kid. So if you could—I don’t know—babysit her while I try to find Jiah?”

Jaemin leans against his leg, a bit unsteadily.

Donghae stares at the man who’s mostly dressed in black, except from the gray hoodie under his leather jacket. Hyukjae’s messy, cold chestnut brown hair flicks in the light wind. His dark eyes stand out even more now that he still has the leftovers of the last night’s eyeliner on.

“How about your parents?” he then asks the older, and anger pours up to Hyukjae’s surface.

“I haven’t seen them in years,” Hyukjae spats back quietly.

The male nurse frowns in confusion. There’s probably no way he could know about Hyukjae’s life after high school. They haven’t been in any kind of direct or even indirect contact since then.

“I—,” Donghae starts, but his sentence stops suddenly and he stands up, closing the few steps in-between them and squats down next to Jaemin—who’s now drooping against Hyukjae’s legs; obviously ready to fall asleep. “Jesus, Hyukjae,” the nurse mutters in annoyance, and catches the girl on his arms before she happens to fall down.

“She could have hurt herself. You need to pay attention,” he nags, then hands the girl onto her father’s arms. “Take her, I need to get back to work. I need to conjure my co-worker to cover me so I could luckily get off in an hour.”

Hyukjae is forced to take the girl onto his embrace, because Donghae doesn’t give him other options—at least that’s what his eyes are telling Hyukjae. He feels awkward and flustered to be in this kind of contact with the girl. He’s tried not to make any if possible, because for starters, it freaks him out. For second, he’s been secretly hoping that if he doesn’t touch her in any way, it wouldn’t become so real.

Now it’s way too real for his liking.

She’s light to hold, and Donghae helps him a little—without asking—to fix her position for a more comfortable one as she soon has her cheek pressed on the crook of Hyukjae’s neck, her little hands airily curled over his shoulders, and the stuffed dog pressed in between his elbow and her back.

Donghae continues babbling. “I think she’s going to nap at least for an half an hour, it’s been a rough day for her.”

Hyukjae can’t get a word out of his mouth. Jaemin’s chest rises slowly as she takes breaths in her sleep, and it’s so odd to have something that small yet so living so close. He’s a little scared he’s going to break her if he moves.

“C-can we stay and wait?” the brunet then asks uncertainly, staring at the creature sleeping on him with horrified and concerned orbs.

Donghae puts the empty coffee mug into the nearest trash can. “You can stay in the waiting area or the cafeteria,” he replies, holding onto the now-already-cold hot chocolate cup, contemplating if he’s just going to do the same for it and throw it away.

Hyukjae takes the cup from him suddenly, and takes a sip of the overly sweet—although cold—cocoa. “I can have this, thank you very much.”

The nurse shakes his head in disbelief, turning towards the hospital’s entrance, the sandwich still on his hand, untouched. “You have the next two days to find her mother. Those are my free days.” 

The older takes it as a yes to help him out this once. Relieved, he sighs. Some sort of hazy feeling of content settles in him, and he thinks there’s a chance he’ll survive these two days.

“You’re going to owe me some, Hyukjae.”

When Donghae disappears back into the building, he realizes he also has to survive through the next hour alone.

Well, .

He takes an experimental step, holding onto the girl with one arm around her tiny form. Holding his breath he waits for a second or two until he’s sure Jaemin is still fast asleep, and he takes another one.

It was going to be a long hour.

an 02/06: I'm seriously impressed about myself.
three updates in a week?!

I changed the font, I hope you don't mind.
I'm sick and tired of times new roman. =_=

aaand btw I imagine Hyukjae with that kind of appearance
he had during the last Maxim Magazine photoshoot. *Q*

so. what do you think so far?

...comments, votes—anyone?