^{_{. .}} four ^{_{. .}}

It takes a while for him to understand that he could really move around without waking her up. Even when an ambulance decides to drive through to the hospital with its sirens wailing loudly—giving Hyukjae a heart attack—Jaemin soundly keeps kipping against his shoulder.

You can’t be for real, kid, he smirks as he steps into the somewhat calm lobby of the ER.

Occasionally sipping the cold chocolate on his other hand, he proceeds towards the waiting area; trying to shun a bit further away from all the people that give them reproachful and despising looks. He finds a seat closer to the big window where only an older man is sitting on the other end of the row of seats, holding a newspaper up high to his face. Hyukjae lets out a heavy exhale when he cautiously sits down, unconsciously securing the girl a little better on his hold.

The time flies slowly.

It hasn’t been even ten minutes yet, when the serenity starts increasingly tire him out. The people sitting there doesn’t really change, expect when a middle-aged woman takes her leave. He leans the other side of his jaw against his fist that’s settled against the armrest, as his eyelids threateningly starts to droop. The warmth that comes from the little creature hanging onto him makes him feel sort of cozy. There’s nothing interesting to keep him occupied enough, but he tries to stay awake the best he’s able to.

It seems impossible try to break from any of those thoughts turning and tossing inside his head. Although he now knows that Donghae is going to help him till he finds his damned ex, he’s scared. He can’t find himself being too comfortable; it’s obvious he’s tense and anxious although he might seem calm outwards.

The last thoughts that sail through his mind are about Jiah. She was the perfect partner in crime; rule breaker, risk taker, thrill seeker. She was the life of the party. Wild and crazy, and those were all things Hyukjae liked about her the most. Their thing was always to have fun till wee hours. It was never about love; it was partnership, and escapism. Match made in hell.

Sometimes he misses those times, but today is definitely not one of them.

The man on the other end of the row puts down the newspaper and leaves. Everything soon fades into darkness as Hyukjae drifts off into a restless slumber.

“...ey. Hey. Wake up.”

It takes him a while to grasp on the noise that repeats itself a few times before he stirs and the bright lights seem to blind him for a second. Soon he recognizes the voice, and he notices the figure sitting on the bench beside him.

He’s so tired though. He doesn’t want to wake up, but Donghae nudges his arm, and he sits straight, trailing his palm through his face and letting out a yawn. First, the older gives Donghae a glance. He has changed from his work clothes to denim jeans and a simple, black shirt. A neat jacket is hanging from the crook of his arm, and on his shoulder he has a bag. His eyes soon turn to the other side where Jaemin is still asleep. The clock on the same side up on the wall shows it has been only 50 minutes since Donghae went back to work.

Hyukjae inhales tiredly.

“You’re both heavy sleepers,” Donghae says. It’s not so easy to discern if he’s a little amused or actually annoyed instead. He seems a little anxious, though. “Jung took over me so we can go.”

“Yeah,” Hyukjae mutters, noticing that the arm he’s hold onto the girl has gone dead. He grimaces, turning her over to his other hand, which is not so easy because he’s still like a fish out of water with this. Eventually he manages to get up, and as they walk towards the entrance, there are people staring again. It pisses him off, to be honest.

Donghae leads them out through the parking lot to his car. It’s already dark outside, and Hyukjae shivers from the chillier wind. It’s not hard to pick on to the fact that things are a little awkward between them, when neither of them talks until Donghae orders him to sit on the backseat just when he’s about to grab the handle of the passenger’s. Hyukjae rolls his eyes but does it anyway. He struggles to settle Jaemin beside him, still afraid of waking her up.

“Tell me your address,” Donghae retorts, starting the car.

He tells.

The drive lasts for mere ten minutes, not one of them talking. Jaemin starts to finally stir from her nap, slowly opening her eyes as she snuggles against Hyukjae’s left arm.

The area Hyukjae lives in is crammed from dozens of the same looking old, timeworn apartment buildings. It’s not the worst it could be, and for him and for now, it’s enough. He tries to get a hold of Donghae’s expressions though, but he only notices the unimpressed eyes and a little lip-biting he does when he parks the car on the edge of the road, behind two other cars.

“Will I get a ticket if I park here?” Donghae asks, sharing a quick glance through the view mirror.

“Let’s hope not,” Hyukjae grunts and opens the door, standing out of the car. He turns back around for the girl who seems still to be pretty dazed from sleep. He has to pluck up his nerves before he leans back inside to carry her out. Donghae takes his bag from the passenger’s seat and closes the doors with an electronic key.

“Which one of those?”

“That one on the far left.”

The way from the car to his apartment is silent. For Hyukjae it’s not difficult grasp on the fact what is wrong. It’s him.

“Which floor?” Donghae asks, uninterested.

“Third.”

It’s not that it’s easy for him either. Although he wants to think otherwise, he’s still not over the fact how Donghae ditched him for the soccer team and popularity in high school. He hasn’t forgiven him. But the fact that’s really starting getting into him is how Donghae acts around him now. He’s not an idiot, and it doesn’t take a lot to notice how the younger silently judges everything about him.

He has to grit his teeth as the elevator brings them to the right floor.

The hallway is dark as they step into it. Hyukjae automatically reaches for his keys, and doesn’t care to put the lights on. The key clacks in the lock, and he opens the door.

It’s almost as if they’re strangers when they get into his apartment. Hyukjae throws his shoes off carelessly, and then puts Jaemin down. She’s still tired but at least able to stand on her own two legs. He immediately walks further into the house and leaves the girl and Donghae behind. He switches a light on, throwing himself onto the couch with a grunt.

He would really like to clear his head from all of this. Clear it with alcohol, to be exact. It’s just too much fuzz.

He has just managed to close his eyes, when he hears Donghae clearing his throat and he peeks at him with his other eye, other still fully closed.

“What?”

“I don’t know,” Donghae says sarcastically, looking a bit pissed. “You know, maybe you could care to give me some details about this mess you’ve put yourself into? This place looks filthy, by the way.”

“Like you gave a about it,” Hyukjae snorts. His place might be messy but it’s definitely not filthy. He’s just disorganized. He’s tired and Donghae irritates him. This whole thing irritates him.

“Don’t swear.”

“Swear my . Just look after the girl and that’s all you need to do.”

“Right,” Donghae comments, arms crossed over his chest. “Well, when’s the last time she ate anything?”

“I don’t know. At home?” Hyukjae closes his eyes indifferently. He’s not going to admit, that he too, is starving.

Donghae opens his mouth but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he walks away, and the next thing Hyukjae hears is his fridge being opened. When he opens his eyes again, not getting clear what Donghae just mumbled in his kitchen, he gets a little startled when Jaemin blinks her eyes at him as she stands behind the opposite armrest. Her jaw barely meets the top of it.

Donghae returns, and it seems like he’s in a temper. “You have absolutely nothing in your kitchen!”

“I think there’s still few beers and three eggs left,” Hyukjae notes, knowing that he’s purposely annoying the younger.

“Oh yeah? Well, Mr. Smart-a—uh—idiot, what do you think I’m going to cook from them?”

Hyukjae thinks he might not be in his right mind when Donghae is actually a little hilarious when he’s angry. It reminds him about few times when they were kids and the younger threw a fit over something that was seriously not even important; like the mismatched socks he had when they were nine years old.

“Get your up from the couch,” Donghae orders.

“Why?”

“She needs to eat! You’re going to the grocery store right on this instant.”

“Come on—“

“Don’t come on me. I’m supposed to babysit her right? Or do you want to stay here while I go out and leave you here?”

“Well…”

“You. Out. Now. And don’t you dare to come back with some convenience food.”

At first, Hyukjae thinks he can finally sigh in relief when he steps into the grocery store alone. No kid along, no Donghae in sight.

Then he reaches the dairy isle and he starts to think otherwise.

What the heck does normal people eat?

His head goes haywire, and even a row of different kinds of milk suddenly freaks him out.

Well played, Donghae.

Like, he could probably manage this grocery thing if he only bought food from himself. But now the area he usually gets his food is banned, and he also needs to think what a 4 year old kid could eat, the task seems impossible.

Normal milk? Fat free? Chocolate milk? Extra fatty milk straight from the cow? God damn it, why are there so many different milks? What is even considered as ‘normal’ milk?

And it’s just the first aisle.

Eventually, after pondering for good five minutes, he takes the one they used to have at home when he still lived there.

Then, what?

He keeps wandering, trying to make guesses what would be acceptable by Donghae’s books, when his phone starts to ring. It’s a little weird hearing his ringtone after a day when his usual life is filled with events that he never ought to happen. He draws out his cheap smart phone, forgetting everything else for a while when a familiar name keeps flickering on the screen. A smirk forms onto his lips, when he puts it onto his ear and hears a voice that makes him sigh in content. He could already taste cold beer on his mouth.

“Ayy, mate! Where are you? How was last night? You disappeared before twelve, bugger! Got lucky, huh?” Taehyung blabbers; enthusiastically and loudly.

“Getting some food,” Hyukjae starts, and grabs a packet of rice and some ramen into the basket. His thoughts drift to Jaemin standing behind his door suddenly. “I’m not sure if lucky is really the best word to describe anything at the moment…” he keeps muttering, absent-mindedly picking some cereals too.

“What what what? I thought she was pretty hot! Didn’t see her knockers too well that far tho to give you my honest opinion.”

“No, I mean, she was fine—at least from what I can remember—there’s just some other e going on…” he groans, longing to get drunk. He really doesn’t want to think he now has a daughter—and a nitwit—to go home to. He doesn’t really pay too much attention on what he puts in the basket. It’s getting a little heavy already.

“Oh, too bad,” Taehyung mumbles, “You up for a drink tonight?”

Hyukjae lets out a laugh; “Thought you’d never ask.”

When he closes the door after he finally gets back, a pretty unusual whirring sounds echo in the house. It smells different too. He raises his eyebrows in question when a wild Donghae appears behind the corner of his kitchenette, vacuuming away.

“What the hell?” he asks, tossing out his sneakers all over the place as he walks toward the living room with a plastic bag clenched into his fist. He seriously can’t believe it.

Where did he even find that thing?

The whirring suddenly stops, and Donghae his hand through his hair that is now a bit messier than when Hyukjae left the house.

“Took you long enough,” Donghae retorts, exhaling heavily as he’s been actually busy doing…things.

Jaemin comes into his sight too, having different clothes on that seem more like pajamas to Hyukjae’s eyes. She smiles shyly at him, pointing towards the living room area on her left. Hyukjae eyes the place cautiously, noticing quite a lot of change. Where are the piles of clothes? Where are all the rubbish he had around his coffee table? Where is his stuff?

“What have you done?” he asks along with a wary breath, staring at Donghae who has his other hand on his hips.

“Your pigsty was in need of a little cleanup…” Donghae mutters innocently, ruffling Jaemin’s hair. “You helped me a little, right Jaemin?”

Since when did those two become friends?

The girl nods. She’s still being overly shy around Donghae, but there’s a difference nevertheless.

Donghae gives Hyukjae a hard glare. Don’t you dare to say what you actually think, Hyukjae.

“Uh… It looks…clean?”

“And?” the younger man demands.

“…thank…you?”

“Good,” Donghae mouths to him inaudibly. “Now I think it’s time for some food. What did you bring?” The younger leaves the vacuum cleaner and steps towards Hyukjae, taking the bag from him and going into the kitchenette. It’s silent for a minute after Donghae’s put the bag on top of the counter, now examining what’s in.

Hyukjae’s mentally preparing for more nagging.

“I guess I can get something done from these,” he hears a mumble from the kitchen, “But seriously Hyukjae… Frosties? What are you?”

I guess I was asking for that.

“Well, your almighty highness, I used to eat those when I was a kid!” Hyukjae grumbles. “…And I still like them.”

“I guess Tony Tiger suits your mental age well.”

The brown haired huffs and leans against the doorframe.

“I thought you were one who once ate a whole package at our place… What were we…fourteen?” Hyukjae reminisces those all times again, and Donghae stiffens on his feet a little. He’s not sure why he even remembers things like that anymore. Maybe it’s because it seems like their friendship actually meant something for him other than Donghae.

Donghae doesn’t say anything, but he begins to put some equipment on the counter, and Hyukjae rolls his eyes before he leaves the younger to cook whatever he’s going to. It makes him wonder when was the last time he actually ate a home-cooked meal though.

It’s still weird though. It’s all bickering and arguing around, and sometimes it doesn’t even feel that awkward, but then it returns like a big- puff of thick smoke. At times it feels like they might get along, but then there’s that look in Donghae’s eyes that tells what it actually is, and it gets Hyukjae go all defensive and bitter again.

He goes to sit in the living room, where Jaemin already is seated on the other end of the couch, twiddling the floppy ears of her dog. Hyukjae stares at her for a moment.

“Where did you find those clothes for the kid?” he hollers to Donghae, at the same time he hears a click that sounds suspiciously like his rice cooker.

“I found a pink backpack with a puppy on front from the hallway—I reasoned it rather belonged to Jaemin than you.”

Oh, yeah.

He might have seen something like that on her when she came—but he was too much in a shock to really pay attention to things like that then. A thought crosses his mind then.

“Was there anything else in it?”

“Just clothes to last few days.”

Jiah obviously doesn’t want to be found. It makes his stomach churn unpleasantly again.

Hyukjae sighs and leans his back against the backrest in defeat. From the corner of his eye he notes the look his daughter is giving him, and he swallows and decides that distraction would be a good thing now. He feels trapped, and he can’t wait to get out of there again. Just few hours.

He reaches to take the remote controller, putting the TV on. There’s some American drama going on, but he switches the channel few times, before he finds what he’s looking for.

It seems they have one thing in common with his daughter: Disney Channel is just enough simple-minded for him at the moment.

A mouth-watering scent appears in the air in the middle of Hello Kitty’s episode, and against Hyukjae’s will, a needy growl emerges from his stomach.

Suddenly there’s a little, shy giggle coming from his right side. It keeps ringing in his ears wildly, making his head ache in an odd way. That girl really surprises him at the most unpredicted times. He coughs and tries to get the sound off his head, when he leans against the armrest and turns to look towards the origin of the scent of food. He hasn’t eaten anything proper in the whole day, and although he’s used to being so lazy about it, the hunger sometimes seems to be able to knock him off his senses. But it’s like a bright light at the end of the tunnel when Donghae finally says the magical words.

“It’s ready.”

“Oh thank god,” Hyukjae groans and slides off the couch, waltzing to the kitchen, where Donghae is just filling the last plate with something that looks pretty much like bipimbap. It’s simple, but Hyukjae’s too hungry to think more into the details anymore. His kitchenette is relatively small, and there’s just a tiny square table and two stools around it.

“Do you have more chairs?” Donghae asks, bringing the plates over the table.

“No,” Hyukjae mutters, engrossed in nothing but his own needs.

“You take the girl on your lap then.”

Hyukjae stops following Donghae and the plates immediately. “What? Why me?”

“Because she trust you more than me. Don’t ask me why though, I don’t understand it either, but I barely got her to calm down after you left…”

“Wait, what?” He doesn’t get it now.

“Oh, yeah… She got pretty upset when you left to the grocery store, but I managed to calm her down because I said you were going to come back soon,” Donghae explains and pours some milk into a smaller kind of glass; like it's not even a big deal.

“You’re kidding,” Hyukjae mumbles, a bit incoherent.

“Like, you’re the last person I could trust that easily,” Donghae grunts quietly, and the sentence is barely loud enough for Hyukjae to hear.

The irritation is there again.

“I really didn’t thought you’d turn up to be such an ,” Hyukjae snarls, and leaves to get the girl, who’s still focused on looking at the white kitty in pink. He leaves the TV on, but squats in front of the girl. “Let’s go to eat?”

Jaemin nods in approval, and Hyukjae awkwardly curls his hands under her armpits and hurtles her into to the little kitchen.

It still surprises Hyukjae how easy the girl seems to be. She might just be overly courteous and afraid to do anything that would upset him—Hyukjae wonders why—but it makes at least one thing not so much of a struggle. She’s even able to use the spoon by herself, and there’s some rice and other ingredients along the table after that, but he’s just glad it wasn’t any harder.

When he’s sitting on the couch again with the girl—after a debate who’s going to do the dishes (which he won because he didn’t care about dishes that much)—he pulls out his phone and takes a look at the clock. It’s almost 8pm, and Hyukjae’s already eager to leave the house as he promised to Taehyung a little over an hour ago. It’s all manageable whilst he stares at the TV, and his thoughts actually leave him alone for a moment.

Donghae seems like he has peas pulled into his nose again. He keeps glaring at Hyukjae from time to time, which the older luckily doesn’t see, because the kitchen settles behind his back.

It takes ten minutes for Donghae to finish the dishes before he appears into the living room, looking somewhat tired. Not in the most physical way, but more tired of just over a thing.

Probably me.

Donghae eyes the girl next to the older, and briefly there’s a little smile on his face that surprises Hyukjae. It’s obviously given to the girl, but when he’s around it is always harder thing to achieve.

“She’s going to fall asleep any moment,” Donghae notes with a bit softer tone again. “Where do I put her to sleep?”

Hyukjae stares at the TV.

“She can sleep in my bedroom. There’s a mattress on the floor.”

Donghae bites his lips.

“And I?”

The brown haired turns to give him a look. “You sleep there too. It’s big enough for two.”

"Right.”

“I can sleep on the couch.”

Jaemin’s eyelids are already closed, and Donghae goes to take her to carry her to bed, since she’s already asleep or at least very close to that, and she probably wouldn’t even notice. Donghae starts to walk towards the only bedroom, but he stops when he hears Hyukjae’s voice.

“I’ll look for Jiah tomorrow,” the man mutters. Donghae doesn’t answer, and when he takes another step away from him, he stops again when Hyukjae opens his mouth for the second time. “I think I’m going for a walk. I need some fresh air.”

“Okay.”

He frowns a little for the simple answers, and sighs when Donghae goes into the room and closes the door behind him.

It’s time to forget all those stupid things, though, when he takes his phone, checks that his wallet is in his pocket, and grabs his leather jacket before he exits the apartment.

He presses the speed dial on the screen, and pulls the device onto his ear. The line connects fast, and his eyes darken a little from knowing what is ahead.

“I’m on my way, Taehyung. See you in five.”

He couldn’t wait to get sloshed.

0506