(trigger warning: um i'm not quite sure but car accidents i think, death idk but thats inevitable considering the rest of the story)

Jeon Jungkook was defeated. He had finally taken the brave steps he intended to take months ago.

He thought that he would feel liberated, running away from home, but he didn’t.

In fact his pain multiplied.

He walked through the night city, thinking about the evening’s events and what they had brought him.

The scene played through his mind again and again.

He didn’t think it would work out this way.

Earlier that night, Jungkook had fought with his parents. He couldn’t stand them anymore.

He couldn’t live with them. He couldn’t cope with them. Their presence strangled and choked him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He despised them.

He had thought about running away time and time again. He couldn’t live in that house; it haunted him so much, memories of what had happened in that house and what could’ve been.

He had lost so much in that house. On the outside, they seemed like a normal family but only Jungkook knew about the horrors that occurred in that household; a household that he was no longer a part of.

He thought about how he argued with his parents, trying his hardest to choke back the hot tears threatening to give his weakness away. He thought about how his cheek burned at the hand of his mother reprimanding him. He thought about how his father watched, laughing at Jungkook’s feeble attempts to retaliate. His mother not allowing to him get a word through.

He thought about how he stood silent and determined, listening to his mother criticise him. He thought about how waited patiently to finish her criticism before he scoffed arrogantly in her face and told her that he was leaving for good. He saw the fear in her eyes as she saw his confidence, wondering what he was capable of doing. He wasn’t going to report them to the police, was he?

Jungkook had run away from home, now with no one by his side. He was all alone in the world and he knew it. He felt the loneliness creep over him like a dark misty fog. He had no one to turn too and was all too aware of it.

He felt a sense of helplessness overcome him.

He walked through the city streets, not caring about his destination.

He dragged himself forward, he needed to carry on walking, he needed to take himself as far away as he possibly could.

He didn’t want familiarity. He wanted to start afresh.

He knew this was pointless. He knew that he was unable to do anything with his life.

He was the honour student. Clever little Kookie.

Now it was all different, he was useless and hopeless and homeless.

He was walking, not caring about anything, pulling himself one foot after the other when he bumped into a group of men.

Walking past them, he heard them shout after him.

“Hey kid!”

He turned around to face them.

“Aren’t you gonna apologise?” the huge man demanded.

Jungkook thought about it for a second. He had an idea.

He wanted to provoke them.

“Nope” he replied coolly.

It had worked. He saw the anger boil up in their heads. How dare this little boy insult their pride?

He ran. Jungkook ran, shouting obscenities, jeering at them to catch him, to do their best.

He didn’t know where he was going, the scenery all too unfamiliar for him.

He didn’t mind though, it only meant he had a better chance of getting caught.

Jeon Jungkook stopped in the middle of an alley. He wondered if they were still following him. He sat on a crate to catch his breath, waiting to see if anyone would arrive.

He suddenly found himself surrounded by the men.

The ringleader grabbed Jungkook by the collar, pulling him up and then going on to deliver a hard punch to Jungkook’s jaw. His lip split from the impact but Jungkook smiled up at him.

Jeon Jungkook smiled for the first time that day.

He smirked at the man, knowing what it would do to him.

He straightened his back and lifted up his chin.

“Is that all you’ve got?” he said in a condescending tone, earning another punch from the ringleader.

The others joined in as Jungkook blocked some of the attacks.

He protected his head, his instincts helping him not to get hurt but Jungkook didn’t want that.

It seemed to him that he had found a knack for fighting back.

Jeon Jungkook found pleasure in provoking the men. He wanted to be beaten.

He wanted to feel the actual physical pain.

He quickly realised that it was so much better to feel actual wounds than to feel the numb pain in his heart.

He let them beat him up. He let them punch and kick and hurt him until he almost passed out.

He let them throw him against the wall, banging his head and making it feel all fuzzy.

But he got up again and pushed the closest man to him away, just hard enough to push his anger further.

His physical pain was nothing compared to what he felt on the inside.

The men finally stopped when they realised that he wasn’t fighting back.

They had developed a conscience in his lack of retaliation, realising that Jungkook was purposely doing this.

The men had left him there in the dark alley, on the brink of consciousness. Jeon Jungkook forced himself awake. He needed to feel the pain. He needed to know that it was real. That he had left home for a reason.

He lay there for a while before deciding to get up.

Each and every single one of his muscles ached, but he managed to stand up, almost falling down again.

He needed to stay awake and do something; anything.

He needed to walk again. So he did.

He stumbled and fell a few times but he didn’t give up. His breathing was heavy, each breath was hard for him, his ribs hurting every time he breathed in.

He successfully managed to get himself out of the alley and back into the busy city.

He reached for his pocket, taking out the lighter given to him by his older friend.

He told Jungkook that it would help him. It would keep him safe. It would ease his heart.

Jungkook switched the lighter on and off. He carried on walking whilst playing with the lighter.

That’s right, he should just focus on the lighter. That would help him.

He switched the lighter off again.

His entire world was in slow motion.

He heard a loud beeping noise getting louder and louder, getting closer and closer to him.

He slowly looked to his side only to see a bright light before he out and was knocked to the floor, lighter still in hand.

That very second, on that same busy street. Kim Namjoon’s world collapsed before him.

He didn’t want to believe his eyes. Did he just see what he thought he saw?

It could’ve been. Kim Namjoon had witnessed his friend get knocked down by a car.

He prayed that he was alive. He ran up to the boy, pushing others out of the way.

He rushed over to Jungkook and kneeled by his side, tears running down his cheeks as he tried checking for a pulse. Namjoon took the lighter from Jungkook’s hand and pocketed it.

His friend was gone. Jeon Jungkook was no longer in pain. Jeon Jungkook was dead.

He was dead and he couldn’t do anything to prevent it.

He was so close but he couldn’t help

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there's only rapmon's chapter left now! are you excited? i am~

BUT i love this story too much so i'll be splitting it into two parts, and then depending on what you think of the very last chapter i might make an alternative ending? one that's considerably happier i guess...

so what do you think of the story so far? x