(trigger warning: overdose, mentions of suicide)

Jung Hoseok was weak. He had tried to be strong. He managed to stay strong for a week before the withdrawal symptoms kicked in.

All Jung Hoseok ever wanted in life was love. He thought he’d found his love. He thought everything was perfect.

He treasured her but she left him.

He thought about her words. They echoed in his mind still.

She left him with her shallow heart saying how he was the best person she ever had the pleasure to meet, but he wasn’t good enough.

She had found someone better. Someone beautiful. Someone worth her time. Someone who didn’t need fixing.

Hoseok would never admit it but he hoped that she would realise what she was missing and come back to him.

She never did.

Jung Hoseok tried to be strong a week ago. He thought he could do it.

He felt empowered.

He wasn’t crazy. He didn’t need drugs to feel happy.

So he tried to get rid of them. He was given a lighter by a friend, telling how burning things made things better for him. That he should try it too and everything will be better.

Jung Hoseok pitied his friend for thinking this way but instead decided to give it a try.

It couldn’t hurt, right?

He lit a fire and emptied the contents of the small bottle into the fire. Jung Hoseok was victorious.

He congratulated himself for taking that brave step all alone.

Jung Hoseok didn’t realise how painful it would be.

He had become addicted to his prescription drugs.

The same drugs that made him sane just for a little while had ruined his life.

He needed to find some quickly. He couldn’t function properly. He couldn’t live without them. He was so dependent on them and it hurt. It hurt that he was so weak.

Jung Hoseok was in a rut. His head hurt, his thoughts jumbled, and his body shaking.

He found himself searching though his cabinets, looking for some prescription drugs that he had hopefully left behind.

He was in physical pain and his body hurt.

He lost all sense of reality and he’d had enough.

He wanted to feel normal again. As normal as he possibly could.

He began to doubt himself and whether the drugs would actually work.

Was he crazy? Did he actually need them?

No. Jung Hoseok wasn’t crazy, he didn’t need anyone.

He needed to stop shaking. The drugs would help him.

After searching, minutes feeling like hours, he’d managed to find a bottle on his fourth round of the cabinets, half full with small white pills.

Jung Hoseok sighed in relief. He had found what he needed.

He didn’t care about anything anymore. He wanted to feel normal.

He downed all the pills in one go.

That would work wouldn’t it? That would make him feel happy.

That would make him function properly.

Jung Hoseok was content. He finally felt sane.

He was over the moon in fact.

His sanity lasted for a few minutes. He began to feel dysphoria cloud over him.

He was miserable and he hated it.

Did the drugs even work? Maybe some fresh air was what he needed.

Jung Hoseok went for a walk.

He paid no attention to his surroundings.

He paid no attention to the time.

He felt the scorching sun on his face. It was hot and he was sweating and he was tired but he still carried on.

He walked and walked hoping that he’d somehow find his sanity.

Jung Hoseok was so absorbed by his feelings that he didn’t even notice the passers-by.

He bumped into a familiar boy in a leather jacket but he didn’t pay attention to that.

He didn’t question the boy. He didn’t even wonder who it was or what he was doing.

He just carried on.

He didn’t know how long he was walking for.

He eventually didn’t even know why he was walking.

He just dragged himself forward.

Nothing mattered anymore.

His thoughts were hazy and his legs were shaking.

His conscience was wavering and he didn’t know what to do about it.

He didn’t want to do anything about it.

Jung Hoseok knew nothing about the bridge he was on.

It was a place he had never been before.

He was exhausted and stopped in his tracks. His head was pounding and his feet were hurting. He leant on the bridge’s pillar for support, looking over the river and trying to catch his breath.

He listened to the cars behind him rushing by and wondered why they were in such a rush.

Jung Hoseok couldn’t think straight. The world was collapsing from beneath his feet.

His legs gave up on him and he found himself falling.

He lost all consciousness before he fell into the river.

Cars were stopped and people looked on from the bridge, hoping and praying for Jung Hoseok to come back up again. But he didn’t. Jung Hoseok was indifferent.

An hour later, a car was stopped on that very same bridge. Kim Namjoon wondered what all the commotion was about. He saw the police cars and an ambulance and went up to an officer.

He asked what was going on.

“A real sad story” the officer commented, “some boy committed suicide tonight, some people say it looked accidental like he passed out or something but they found drugs in his system” he continued.

Kim Namjoon was saddened by this. It was so disheartening hearing of so many deaths.

He didn’t know it was his friend. He only found that out the next morning in the newspaper.

He read about how his friend had overdosed on his old prescription tablets and drowned to death.

Why did this happen to his friends for? Kim Namjoon felt selfish for wishing that his friends were alive. He had lost too much.

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this chapters a lil shorter than the others but honestly i think it's due to my lack of knowledge with drugs/medication

hopefully it still makes sense though

dON't do drugs kids or do them whatever just stay safe yo