[author's note]

I honestly am not sure where the hell am I going with this story, so yeah, I am sort of winging it. On the bright side, I think I know how am I going to end this story. Updates will therefore be more frequent as I try to write according to the ending I have in my head. Thank you for your lovely comments; I hope I have replied to them all and enjoy the chapter!

P-S: I hope you're not going to unsubscribe from the story just because I've said that I'm winging it. xD OTL

{ SEHUN }
13 days after the incident

-- May 10th 201X

HELL.

That’s how I thought of school when Huijing somehow decided to give me the silent treatment. I wouldn’t mind if someone else did that to me, but if that person was Huijing, I wouldn’t be able to stand it. Of course, I tried playing it off as if I didn’t care about the way she behaved. And you guessed it. It was hard and painful to act as if she didn’t mean anything to me.

Huijing means everything to me.

The others noticed how different I was, but didn’t ask anything. They figured it out when Huijing and I stopped sitting next to each other, or maybe when Huijing stopped sitting at our table during lunch. I thought she was probably sitting with the student council, or maybe even those robotics geeks, but her presence in the cafeteria was nonexistent.

“She’s not here,” Irene, one of the cheerleaders told me when she saw me looking around for my best friend. “The other students are staring at us weirdly, so just focus on your food and pretend that everything is fine.”

I sighed and complied with her request. I usually don’t sit at the so-called popular table. Huijing and I would usually sit at that lonely table in the back, away from the curious, prying eyes the others had on us. I was somewhat used to the attention, but I should’ve known that sitting in the middle of the huge cafeteria, simply meant giving an opportunity to others to stare at me all they want, which isn’t something that I personally like, unlike the other people who sat at the same table as I am.

Sitting with them not only reminded me why I preferred sitting with Huijing, but also why I was still clinging onto this popularity that the others students have given me. The attention they gave me kept me craving for much more. Sometimes, this attention has gotten over my head, causing me to have one of the biggest fights I’ve ever had with Huijing.

I’m a huge paradox—I know.

Sitting at this table also reminded me why my relationship with Irene didn’t work out. Mind you, our relationship was “perfect” as the others labelled it. Even I admit that we suit each other perfectly. We were basically the same person, always craving for attention and more popularity as we move on to another year of high school.

That was, until Huijing and I became friends.

Although Huijing and Irene were best friends, they were also rivals.

Irene was obviously the most beautiful out of them two, but Huijing was the one who stole everyone’s heart.
Irene was the one going to SNU, but Huijing was the valedictorian of the year.

I guess becoming best friends with Huijing, also put a strain on their relationship as well. Due to my selfish nature, I’ve never cared much about the consequences it would have. I was happy with Irene, until my own incident happened. But, I’m sure you know all about the details.

However, that wasn’t it.
There was more to it.

I keep saying that Huijing is the one that keeps me grounded—which is still true—but, she’s also the one that keeps me sane in this place.

Irene, on the other hand, simply doesn’t understand the situation—my situation. She didn’t like the fact that I keep hanging out with Huijing, even though we were the ones in a relationship. Although we’ve had an okay breakup, I could tell that she still feels some sort of remorse towards me and Huijing.

“Why are you guys fighting anyway?” Jongin, my male best friend and one of the only few football players with a brain, asked me as he popped a grape into his mouth. “Here I thought you two were inseparable. Does this mean I can finally go for her?”

I softly growled. “Don’t even think about it.”

Jongin raised his hands up in surrender with a small, amused chuckle. But, I wasn’t as amused as he was. Not one bit.

“Bro, calm down, I was just joking. Sheesh, can’t you even take a joke anymore? Huijing is rubbing off on you way too much.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, well it’s thanks to her that I’m passing senior year, so I would shut up if I were you.”

“Don’t say that to me,” Jongin defended himself. “Tell that to Irene. She’s the one tutoring me at the moment.”

I rolled my eyes at his statement. Whether Irene was a good tutor or not, was none of my business anymore. But, the fact that he was blaming her for his own mistakes was starting to piss me off a little. And this conversation just reminded me of the convos I used to have with Huijing about them.

Both of us know that it’s wrong to talk behind our friends’ backs, but are we really in the wrong when we know they aren’t exactly our real friends?

The fact that all of us so-called popular kids aren’t exactly on the best terms, or aren’t exactly the best of friends, is probably and subtly known throughout the whole school. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t have each other’s backs. It was kind of like this un