“. I’m so gonna kill that fat .” Kyuhyun crushed the empty water bottle that he had just downed, imagining it as the irritating maid.

“I like him,” Donghae said amusedly, cutting into his steak again. “He knows how to keep a clear line between his grudges and gratitude.”

Kyuhyun shot his friend a death glare. “Gratitude?! Is leaving your steak clean gratitude? Since when did you do anything that deserves his gratitude anyway?”

“Oops.” Donghae let out a sheepish grin. “Pardon my limited vocabulary. I don’t know if he has any gratitude towards us three, though I’m sure he definitely bears a grudge against you.”

“Like I needed you to say that.” Kyuhyun spat through his gritted teeth, twisting the bottle by its cap. “No,” He threw the bottle towards the rubbish bin beside the bar counter, smirking as he made a goal. “I’m the one who bears a grudge against him.”

“What are you up to again?” Yesung leaned over with a raised eyebrow, as Siwon shook his head with an amused smile.

“A lot of things.” Kyuhyun replied, his mind occupied with various ideas on how to prank his new little maid.

“Woah woah woah.” Donghae exclaimed with rising volume, clinking his fork and knife together. “I’m so gonna have fun watching your servant’s reactions this time. This one’s cute!”

“Cute?” Kyuhyun looked at his friend weirdly, before a naughty grin surfaced upon the light bulb lighting up on top of his head. “Say, Hae. You like my maid?”

“Hich—wone?” Donghae asked with his mouth full, swallowing his food hurriedly in excitement. “Yoona?”

“Sunny is not bad too,” Yesung added, to which Kyuhyun groaned.

“I thought you all were discussing the new servant?” Siwon interjected, unable to hold back his amused smile at the mischievous grins his friends had whenever they were thinking of something naughty.

“Exactly! You two dumb wits! Stop hitting on my female maids. Especially you, Hae. You’re gay.”

“Correction, Kyu. I’m bi, not gay,” Donghae said sternly as though he was teaching a fact in lecture, snapping into his ‘professor’ mode.

“Whatever. As long as you like guys.” Kyuhyun waved his hand dismissively, leaning towards his ponytail friend. “You wanna have some fun?”

“What?” Donghae blinked innocently at him like a five-year-old child.

“Seduce the fat maid for me.”

Kyuhyun’s smile widened along with the grin appearing on his friend’s face, but the smile immediately disappeared at the next words that came out of his friend’s mouth.

“There’s a fat maid in your house? Unless you’re talking about Halmeoni, the rest are all…” Donghae whistled, drawing an hourglass with his fork and knife in the air. “y.”

Kyuhyun couldn’t stop himself from knocking his friend’s head this time, as Yesung and Siwon burst into laughter.

~--~

Sungmin rubbed his hands together, feeling how the wrinkles on each finger brushed against each other. There was a numbing sensation as he pressed down on the wrinkled skin – a result of the prolonged soaking in water from doing hand laundry –, but it felt weirdly appealing. What wasn’t appealing was definitely the three hours of laundry he had just done after dinner, and it was only for one type of clothing that he was learning to handle the cleaning for. He didn’t want to think about sorting clothing, dry cleaning and any other techniques he had to learn. In his world, it was either throwing it in the washing machine, or simply soaking then hand washing. Laundry was a hundred times simpler.

Drying his hands against his apron again though the moisture seemed to be eternally trapped, he trudged down the corridor of the Servants’ wing. He was looking forward to taking his much-needed shower, then cramping some schoolwork before he crashed for bed. However, there was light emitting from small gap of his open door, and laughter travelled out of the room.

Carefully tiptoeing, he slowly moved over, peeping into his room first. He had surprisingly not seen his Young Master since he returned from school, but after the two bottles of salt and pepper, he was not going to take any chances. The suspicion and caution was uncalled for, as he recognized the two faces chatting happily in his room.

“Leeteuk hyung?” Sungmin pushed the door open, stepping into the small, comfortable compounds of his room. The head butler was dressed in a simple t-shirt with a pair of sweatpants, a total contrast from his butler uniform. However, what surprised Sungmin wasn’t Leeteuk’s casual image – he had seen the butler in such clothing the night before –, but the secretary sitting on his chair.

“Oh, Sungmin-ssi!” Zhoumi flashed his wide smile at him. “Come in! It’s your room after all.”

“Secretary Zhou?” He swept the man from top to toe. A grey singlet and pair of black shorts – typical home wear, but what was not typical was those biceps that flexed as Zhoumi waved him in. “You look… different.”

“How so?” Zhoumi looked down at himself. “Ah. Because I’m not wearing a suit?”

“No… I just didn’t expect you to be this… muscular.”

Zhoumi laughed, deliberately holding his arm up to show off his muscles. “Well, this is nothing. Wait till you see Leeteuk hyung’s body.”

Sungmin turned to look at the head butler, focusing his eyes on the torso as though he had x-ray vision that could see through the clothes. However, after three seconds, he realized he was just a normal human being.

“What are you all doing in my room anyway?” Sungmin untied the ribbon behind his back, pulling the apron over his head. “Wait. How did you two even get in? I’m sure I locked the room.”

“I’ve got spare keys to all the rooms in the residence.” Leeteuk answered nonchalantly.

“Oh, responsibilities of the head butler… or benefits? Do you secretly go into Hyoyeon or Luna’s room at night?” Sungmin draped his apron over a free hanger, hanging it on the door handle of his closet temporarily. “Don’t tell me this is some surprise spot check or something.”

“Nope, though there might be one coming up at the end of the month,” Leeteuk said, ignoring his suggestive comment.

Sungmin took the headband off, turning around to Leeteuk, who was sitting on his bed. “What? I was just joking. There’s really a spot check?”

“Better safe than sorry. We don’t want any murder attempts in the residence.”

Thinking about how many times he had sworn to kill a particular being in the house, Sungmin burst out laughing. “Guess I’ll be the number one suspect if anything happens to the Young Master.”

“What did you do this time? I heard from Halmeoni that you two met in the morning.”

Sungmin made a small jump, lifting himself to sit on his table. “I think I might have tried to enhance the taste of his steak in school today,” he said, unable to hold back his naughty grin as he recalled the coughs and curses from the Young Master.

Leeteuk raised an eyebrow. “Whatever you did, I know he definitely wasn’t very satisfied with his steak.”

“Why?” Sungmin leaned forward with an amused smile. “Was he cursing when he got home today?”

“No… In fact, he was smiling when he came home today.”

“Smiling?” Sungmin frowned, looking at Leeteuk for an explanation, but the butler looked towards the secretary.

“Sungmin-ssi, I think I should have been the one who said ‘You look different’.” Zhoumi said, gesturing at his maid uniform.

“Yeah yeah. I look like a girl, a maid. Whatever,” Sungmin replied, already getting used to the numerous ‘praises’ that he had heard so far.

“You look good, to be exact.”

“Doesn’t make a difference. I’m getting my male uniform soon, aren’t I? When would it be done actually, Secretary Zhou?” Sungmin picked at a loose thread hanging off his dress laces.

“You look good,” Zhoumi repeated.

“Thanks. You haven’t answered my question though.” Sungmin replied distractedly, pulling open the first of his small drawers that was sitting on the table beside him. He grabbed the pair of scissors, carefully cutting the loose thread.

“You look good. I really mean it.”

“I know.” Sungmin looked up. “Wait… What-what are you implying?”

Zhoumi nudged Leeteuk with an anxious look, and the butler sighed audibly. “I didn’t know why the Young Master was so happy until Zhoumi came to me after he received a call… from the tailor.”

“Tailor?” Sungmin questioned, though he could already guessed what they were trying to tell him. “Wait,” he threw the scissors back into the drawer, jumping off the table. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”

“Young Master—”
 

“Don’t tell me!” Sungmin threw a hand over his forehead.
 

“Called off—”
 

“No!”
 

“The order—”
 

“No!” Sungmin ran over to Leeteuk.
 

“For—mmpph…” Sungmin threw a