Is it true that nothing happens by chance, could it be that there is no such thing as luck? A meaning behind every little thing? Even a meaning behind this!  Maybe it’s like what wise men say … you will know, before long.

What brought up the matter of fate and my reluctant believe in it was no more than a crumbled old photography , it seemed so helpless and weak lying on the floor but now in my hands It held such a weight and I found myself smiling at it . My previous nagging mind now losing it argument and my once rushing feet’s losing their purpose. I stood there tracing the yellowing edges of my brilliant finding, not caring of the time that slipped around me or the consequences of my delay.

The photo corners were roughly bent and I realized that it once belonged to a frame, the beautiful image it held must have been once proudly presented and admired upon … long, long time ago before it was shoved inside a book and abandoned.

I looked around at my extravagant and ever so cold surrounding and wondered if I would ever own a home again. This house...  with its heave drapes and shine crystal would never become that, and the family, the one I was barely a part of already did nothing to my sense of belonging.

I sighted, heavily and long then tucked the photo into my purse. it wasn’t the time for such thoughts and I didn’t want to deal with the sad impact they always brought me, I was still glad I stumbled upon the photograph and a little bewildered at the events that brought it on but I didn’t want to allow myself to linger on such memories, all they did was emphasis how fast the future was hitting me and how little I was doing to change it.

I always end up running, rushing in hope that I might make it and looking at the watch on the wall I realized I had to literally do that, I was undoubtedly late but maybe if I rushed I could make it in a reasonable enough time to not be scolded too much … maybe I will get off with a warning and an extra shift, anything..  Anything but not get fired.

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“You’re fired “

“What?” I dumbfoundly asked, my mind refusing to register the words that were yelled at me.

“I’m sorry … I swear this will never happen again “I pleaded.

“That’s what you said last time, I told you I don’t need an irresponsible kid who’s always late in here “was the sharp replay I got, my merciless boss not even bothering looking up from the pile of clothes he was working on.

“But I need this ….  “I trailed off, my voice breaking as I imagined myself actually getting fired “i can’t go anywhere else “

“That’s your problem. I can’t tolerate your crap anymore “he said finishing the shirt he was sewing and grapping another one “Lee Hyesun .... Never on time, always calling to say she’s not going to make it, constantly asking to leave early. I think I will be better off doing all the work myself, at least I get to keep my money “

“   You know why I do that!!  You said you were ok with it as long as I did my job well when I do get here, please “i was pleading, praying and on the verge of tears. I would never get a job anywhere else, I was still young and a university student but mostly it wouldn’t happen for the same reason he was firing me …. I’ve looked and searched but being a freelancer with nothing to offer wasn’t really on demand and rather frowned upon.

“Ahjussi, please “I tried again and when I saw his strained eyes ease a little I bubbled on “I will work an extra free shift today … no, I will work an extra free shift every day of the week just please “

“ don’t make promises you can’t keep … I do know and understand you situation but every once in a while I like to see you try to overcome it “ the old man said , his voice losing its scolding tone and I let out a breath in relief . In my mind replacing the previous nasty remarks about him with now loving ones.

“i can and will do it, I swear I’m going to try harder than ever, you know what …” I stepped forward and grabbed some of the clothe on the table then continued saying “I will do this, and after I finish my deliver I can start on the pants “I tried smiling a little but it felt weird and forced and I let it drop.

“you’re a good kid Hyesun but I won’t always let it slide on that account, you should be more careful, after all I’m trying to run a business in here “he stood up and was about to leave, probably meaning to retreat to the small room with the TV he had at the back but he paused, gave me a mischievous smile then continued on his way.

With him gone I felt the grip that seized my heart ever since I walked into the shop release but still I felt tired and worn out , I knew he was simple scaring me , the Ahjussi wasn’t really planning on firing me  , at least not today but the thought of it .... It left me heave hearted.

I looked down at the clothes I had carried, meaning to start working on them and groaned in disapproval, the little drycleaner slash tailor I worked in managed to attract the strangest people... cut out backs , slashed fronts and man skirts , I didn’t even have to check the notes that came with it to realized who it belonged to …

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“I seriously need a wrist watch …” I yelled as I ran out of the shop, the image of my manager looking at me oddly nothing but a blur.

I crossed the street and rushed through the next one barley bothering to check for traffic, I felt horrible, my heart not accepting any excuses, what was being late to work and almost getting fired compared to this!! What did finishing my shift and even getting praised by the old man mean if it made me do this?

I thought of taking a cab, even paused a little to see if there was any nearby but I started racing again before the minute mark was up … I had no time and no guaranty I would find any. The wind blow at me heavily, the air now freezing and I felt horrified by thoughts of him having to wait outside in this cold .so with every last ounce of strength in me I pushed forward … my every thought and concern was on getting there.

I could have made it within the next 10 minutes, maybe less but I didn’t get the chance to … the other side of the street I was crossing seemed to stretch away and for an instant that  appeared to run both fast and slow I thought it will take forever to reach it but it came back, closer and closer …. At a blinding pace.

The world and all its colors seemed to get snatched away from me after that, my mind not registering anything beside the eye watering screech that reached me and the unreasonable thought of  ‘I couldn’t make it on time’ .