Chapter 27

Jung Ah was sound asleep by midnight. It took me a whole box of crackers and some tea to calm down her stomach from churning, but it worked. I stood by the door frame and watched her for a bit while she peacefully snored and snuggled a bunch of blankets and pillows. She looked comfortable to the point where I was tempted to join her, but instead, I reached for the door handle and shut it just a bit before heading over to the kitchen where Jae Hyun was brewing a fresh cup of tea for the both of us.

“I want answers when I question you.” I said immediately as I sat down on a stool across from Jae Hyun, who handed me a cup of tea. “And I don’t want no beating around the bush or any more lies. I’m sick of trying to find things out from people who shouldn’t be keeping secrets from me.”

“Yes, officer Ahn.” Jae Hyun jokingly saluted me, but he was frowning the whole time.

“I’m serious. I’m sick of all of you, in case you all have not noticed.” I rolled my eyes before sipping onto my tea. “You all have been making me feel like lately and for once in my life, before my wedding, I just want to be happy.”

“Want to be happy, Soo Jin? How about you quit feeding yourself lies?” Jae Hyun snarled.

“Excuse me?” My mouth dropped. I was surprised by his reply. “What is wrong with you?”

“No, what is wrong with you, Ahn Soo Jin? I get I’m the only one who wants to be honest with you, but I have other problems I would like to take care of here.” Jae Hyun ran his fingers through his hair and after awhile when he finally looked at me, I could tell he was desperate. “Can I get answers for once?”

“What’s wrong?” I asked, setting my cup of tea down. “Are you okay?”

“You know, right?” He asked quietly, as if he really didn’t want to ask this out loud.

“Know what?”

“About Jung Ah…” He muttered.

“You mean…? The fact that she’s pregnant?” I scoffed before sipping onto my tea as if this made me feel like some sort of genius. “Who wouldn’t know? The girl puked so much to the point where she missed an appointment with me. That usually never happens. Plus, Jung Ah wouldn’t drink with me when we went out, so that was a big obvious there.”

“Cool, you can figure something like that out, but your life is too hard to figure out when everyone can see it?” Jae Hyun sighed, crossing his arms as if I was a total idiot.

“Hey! Shut your mouth.” I snarled. “These are two different situations.”

“Whatever. Same difference to me.” Jae Hyun shrugged.

“But my first question to you, even though it seems quite obvious…” I leaned forward on the counter. “The baby is yours, right?”

“Well yeah. If that was not my child, why the hell would I let her sleep here like it’s okay? I would have kicked her to the curb already.” Jae Hyun rolled his eyes to the point where I could see his sclera only.

“Wow, getting all offensive here, Mr. Jae Hyun.” I raised my hand up as if I was caught. “Anyway, I was only saying that because the guys kept mentioning that she was with Jong In, which made me realize that Jong In was always working, which also meant he was too busy to even hang out with her.”

“All the guys know. I had them cover for me just in case…” He looked down, but he looked back up again as if I was going to do something to him and he had to make sure. “I hope you’re not mad that you just found out or whenever you figured it out…”

“I don’t know what I should be upset with anymore, Jae Hyun. I have so many things going through my mind that this would be the last thing to be worried about.” I reached over and quickly yanked his ear. “What the hell were you two thinking when you two had without protection?!”

“We were drunk and somehow managed to fall into it. I don’t know. Let me go!!!” He yelped as I yanked onto it even more. “I’m sorry! I know Jung Ah is your best friend, but she became someone I could talk to easily. She never made me feel stupid and at least asked me how my day was even when she was having a horrible day…”

“So you’re saying you like her, Jae Hyun?” I asked slowly letting go of his ear.

“Yes, you crazy woman!!! Now let go of me!” Jae Hyun slapped my hand away before rubbing his reddened ears. “You’re so got damn demanding.”

“I wouldn’t have to be so demanding of you all if all of you were just ing honest with me but nope, you guys just want to make it hard on everyone.” I blew a raspberry and sat back in the stool as I crossed my arm. “You must fall easily for people, huh?”

“Just cos’ I fell for you does not mean I fall easily for people. It took a few years before Jung Ah and I could even have a conversation.”

I nodded my head slowly.

“Look, I’m not here to play games or joke with you, Soo Jin. This has been hard on the both of us. I have money and I can take good care of her, but she refuses. She thinks that she’ll be living off of me if she moves in with me and I help her out, but if I don’t help her and my child out, how are we supposed to live?”

“You have to give her time.” I whispered. “Her hormones are probably all over the place and she’s probably having a hard time coping with her own feelings. I mean, have you asked her what she wants to do and not what you want to do? You might know what’s best for her and your child, but have you thought about what she thinks is best?”

Jae Hyun buried his face into his hands. “I guess I never really did since I just thought it’d be easier for me to help out since I have money and a place…”

“I’m not one to talk about relationships or give out advice, but knowing Jung Ah, you’re going to have to talk to her about what she wants to do first and kind of cater to her. Her hormones are really going to give you a headache and maybe almost kill you…” I chuckled, but he only glared at me. “Chill, I’m kidding, Jae Hyun, but she’s going to have mood swings and seeing how she’s only a few months or more, she’s going to gain weight and it’ll devastate her.”

“But it’s cos’ the child is growing inside of her…” He scrunched his nose in frustration. “I’m not ready for this chaos.”

“I think you are.” I reached over and patted his shoulder. “I mean, you’ve delt with her for how long now and you’re doing fine? This is kind of like a fun experience for the both of you.”

“You mean stressful…?”

“Maybe.” I shrugged. “But you two are at fault for what happened. You kind of have to step up and take responsibility for it.”

“Why can’t you give yourself advice, Soo Jin?” He suddenly interrupted.

“W-what?”

“I mean, you are encouraging and actually think when a problem comes around someone else, but when it’s you… you’re completely clueless and stupid.” Jae Hyun scoffed.

“You really want to die tonight, don’t you?” I chugged my tea.

“I think you do…” He said as I started to choke on the liquid.

“So everyone knows Jung Ah is pregnant?” I asked after awhile.

He nodded his head. “Jong In found out first and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut so he pretty much blurted it out.”

“Of course.” I laughed. “How did he find out?”

“Jung Ah passed out and Jong In happened to be there. I forgot where exactly they were, but he took her to the hospital and they found out she was pregnant there.” Jae Hyun replied. “I guess you could say that Jong In found out about the pregnancy before I did.”

“How could you be so sure that you are the father?” I questioned, but I was joking.

“I’m the only one she’s ever slept with and I was her first.” Jae Hyun shrugged obviously. “It wasn’t something she questioned and I accepted it.”

“What are you two going to do?” I looked over at him and he looked stressed out about the whole situation. “I mean, are you two going to get married?”

“I don’t think that’s really in question right now, to be honest.” Jae Hyun pressed his lips together and he actually looked a bit saddened. “Asking someone to marry you cos’ you impregnated them usually seems like you pity them, doesn’t it?”

“I guess so. I didn’t even think of it that way until you said it.”

“I want to do everything I can to help her and our child, but I want her to let me do so. I don’t want to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do either.” He started running his fingers through his hair again. “I hope Jung Ah doesn’t end up hating me cos’ I actually like who she is.”

“As if she was bad before?” I joked, but he didn’t laugh. He smiled though. “I’m glad you’re taking responsibility.”

“I have to. I am not going to be that father who goes missing and their child has to keep wondering who this donor was.” He laughed at his own joke, but I just stared at him. “What? You don’t think it’s funny?”

“No, but I think you’re going to be a great father if you’re already thinking about things in the future.” I said.

“So… Tell me about wedding planning…” Jae Hyun said, making me revert back to my reality I didn’t want to think about again.

**

It felt like I was dragging my feet back to my place. I didn’t really want to go back at all. It felt like things were just out of place and it was almost a yo-yo effect. One minute, I had the Jin Hyuk whom I fell in love with and the next minute, I had the Jin Hyuk I never knew or maybe it was the real him. I don’t know. I know it has only happened about twice, but it was overwhelming, and it was starting to frighten me. What if happens again? What do I do? I don’t want us arguing just less than a couple of months before we get married.

“What are you doing out here?” I heard my mother’s voice ask. I didn’t even realize I was already standing in front of my place. “Don’t you know what time it is?”

I looked at my phone and saw that it was almost five in the morning. “Sorry, I was at Jae Hyun’s place –”

“What in the world? Why would you be over at his place around this time? Don’t you think it sounds a bit absurd? What if Jin Hyuk finds out and finds it completely strange?” My mother seemed to be accusing me.

“Jung Ah was over there puking her guts out and I thought I would help him out.” I crossed my arm and squinted my eyes at her. “Are you accusing me of seeing someone behind Jin Hyuk’s back?”

“No, but I figured that’s what I would say if I were a typical mother.” My mother plopped down to the steps and patted the area next to her. “Come sit with me.”

“Ugh. I’m so sick of people acting around me.” I said as I walked over and sat beside her. “Do you all just like giving me a hard time?”

“No, but I wanted to join in along and keep it going.” She laughed at me and it only irritated me more. “I’m sorry, honey. You know I love you and I’m only joking.”

“Yeah yeah…”

It was getting colder out. It was practically almost winter, or so it seemed like it since the grass was no longer green and all the leaves were practically gone from the limbs.

“Jin Hyuk told your father and I that everything is almost complete for your wedding.” My mother spoke after what seemed like the longest two minutes of my life.

“The only thing I really have left is my wedding dress…” I muttered.

“You didn’t find one the day you went?” She asked.

I thought back on the day I went to go look for a wedding dress and I could feel the pain of that day suddenly erupt inside of me. It was unwelcoming, but it was such a familiar pain, as if it all just happened yesterday. I hated myself for feeling so vulnerable, but I really couldn’t help it. I started crying and my mother saw, but she didn’t reach over to wipe my tears.

“You’re just going to let me cry?” I asked as I felt the hot tears streaming down my cold cheeks.

“Yeah, why not? I mean, if I wipe your tears, you’re only going to cry some more and then I’ll have to reach over again, right?” She laughed at this, but I didn’t. “Oh come on, Soo Jin. I don’t remember seeing an actual smile on your face since you’ve gotten here.”

“I wonder why…” I groaned.

“Tell me why.” She said nonchalantly. “Tell me why you’re crying or why you’re so vulnerable lately.”

I perked up at her and shook my head.

“Then don’t cry.” She scoffed.

“I can’t help the way I feel.” I groaned.

“You can. You’re just being stubborn.” She nudged me.

“Why do you all keep picking on me?” I cried.

“Honey, can I ask you an obvious question?”

“What is it?”

“Are your feet cold?” She asked.

“What? What kind of question is that?” I looked down at my feet and even though they were covered since I was wearing sneakers, yes, they were cold.

“Are they?” She asked again.

“I mean, yeah. It’s cold out here.” I answered.

“Ahn Soo Jin, why are you doing this to yourself?” She turned to look at me and gave me these puppy eyes that I’ve never seen before. “Why do you keep forcing yourself to feel something you don’t feel?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” I furrowed my eyebrows confused.

“When you left here to go to Canada, I thought to myself ‘wow, she really left’.” My mom took in a deep sigh. “I was disappointed because some part of me thought you were going to come back and realize what really happened…”

“W-what?”

“You know he’ll always love you, right?” She suddenly said, making my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. “And the more he pretends that he’s okay seeing that you’re going to get married, the more devastated he actually gets…”

“Mom, don’t –”

“The man you’re marrying, Soo Jin, I hope he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, but you have to know that the rest of your life needs to be filled with comfort, laughter, and love.” She reached out and squeezed my cold hands into her warm fingers. “I’ve heard you cry many times as a child, but seeing you cry at this age makes me question if I’m ready to even give you away to someone I still am getting to know.”

“Mom, I think you’re misunderstanding –”

“Soo Jin, I want you to be happy but right now… You are not happy, and you need to realize that.”

**Author's Note: Happy Holidaze! More to come, I promise!