Chapter 25

My phone hasn’t had a text or call from anyone for the past 24hours and it was starting to irritate me. What was going on with Jin Hyuk? Was he in Japan? Did his plane land safely? Did I do something wrong? I don’t know and even when I’ve called and texted him about a million times already, I have had no response. I’m sure he wasn’t dead because there would have been news that something had happened and there’s just no way no one would call me.

I was sprawled in the hotel room on the floor. How did I end up on the ground instead when I was sure I was sleeping on the bed the night before? Yeah, it was all that alcohol I consumed since I was so dead bored and literally watched dramas and cried myself to sleep. It’s ridiculous. I’m turning into someone I don’t want to be… Actually, I’m just turning into a drunk girl who doesn’t know how to stop herself or what her limit is.

I sat up from the floor and looked over the messy bed before peeking out the opened windows. The sun was seeping in and I could tell that it was going to be a nice day out. As I forced myself to stand up from the ground – finally – my phone finally freaking buzzed and just when I thought it was Jin Hyuk, it turned out to my mother, who was wondering if I was alive since I have not texted her at all.

“Jin Hyuk… Why aren’t you replying to me…?” I muttered to myself as I threw my phone back onto the bed and went to the bathroom to wash up.

**

I don’t remember the last time I’ve actually ran off alone to enjoy myself other than when I left Korea to go to Canada and when I skipped school the last year of high school. It felt like it was only last year that everything has happened, but it’s been over five years. It’s crazy how quickly time can fly by or at least how it makes you feel and how much time can change within those few years.

As I walked through the city of Busan, I found myself not enjoying my time at all. I couldn’t help but check my phone every five minutes, hoping Jin Hyuk would reply or text me something. I took a deep breath and dialed his number out of curiosity. Will he answer me now that it’s a bit later in the day? He can’t be busy right now, right? Wrong.

The phone kept ringing and would go straight to voicemail after the 5^th ring, as if he was purposely ignoring me, but there was no way he would get it right every time, right? On the 8^th time I tried calling him, I left him a voicemail.

“Hey, it’s me… Soo Jin…” I even paused for a bit. It felt nerve-wracking. “Jin Hyuk, it’s been a day and half, but I have not heard a single thing from you and I’m starting to get worried. Please call me back when you can.”

Something about leaving that voicemail was stressing me out. Something was off and I couldn’t figure out what it was.

What was going on?

**

Why did I still look like I was in high school even though I was dressed a bit better and did my makeup? Was it the baby face I had? Maybe because everyone I passed by today was asking me why I wasn’t at school and why I was playing hooky. This isn’t the first time I’ve been mistaken as a high schooler since I’ve come back to the country. I didn’t know how to explain to everyone that I was pretty much almost twenty-five years old since my birthday was coming up, but they all were acting like I was a bad kid and ignored me after hissing words as if I couldn’t hear them.

I was alone at BIFF Square and of course, the only ones really there at this time of day were the older men and women doing their early grocery shopping. I, for one, didn’t know where to go. I didn’t want to shop. I barely had money, but I was starving since I didn’t even have any sort of breakfast and fish sounded a bit good.

As I came across some fried fish, I couldn’t help but drool a bit. I must have been really hungry to be craving this.

“Can I get two fried fish please?” I asked the older lady as I handed her money.

“Oh, please add a  couple more.” I heard a voice say beside me.

I quickly turned around about to tell them off and say they couldn’t just make someone pay for their food like that, but when I saw that it was Se Hun staring at me with the most evil smirk possible, I handed the lady the money and walked off.

What was going on? Was this real? I’m dreaming.

“Where are you going?” Se Hun yelled behind me. I could hear his footsteps getting closer. “Soo Jin!”

“This isn’t real…” I whispered to myself. “I’m just overthinking and seeing things.”

Se Hun grabbed my arm gently and pulled me back, forcing me to look at him. “What are you doing?”

“Why do you always know where I am?” I said, feeling out of breath due to the sudden adrenaline rush I was feeling. “Every moment, every single moment… You know where I am. Do you stalk me? Do you have some sort of tracker on me?”

Se Hun let go of my arm and smiled kindly. “Jin Guk kept saying how he wanted to come here… That there was something he wanted to see and do… Kind of like a wish he had…”

I bit my bottom lip nervously remembering how I had visit Jin Guk the night before and kind of told him that I was going to come here on my trip. He must have told Se Hun. Little kids nowadays didn’t know how to keep secrets.

“Jin Guk didn’t tell me you were coming here, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Se Hun was always good at reading my mind. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I still was. “But the mentioning of it made me realize something…”

“What?” I asked.

“You came to visit him yesterday, didn’t you?” Se Hun arched an eyebrow. “I thought we said we would get out of each other’s lives, Soo Jin.”

“And look who’s standing in front of me right now, Se Hun.” I mocked, rolling my eyes before taking a huge bite into my fried fish. “Doesn’t look like It’ll be all too easy, huh?”

Se Hun scoffed. “Idiot.”

“Stupid gangster.”

Se Hun suddenly nudged my forehead as I tried to swallow the fish. “What the hell!!!”

“Don’t call me stupid. It’s getting old.” Se Hun said as he bit into his fried fish.

“Oh? And idiot isn’t getting old?!” I snarled angrily.

Se Hun pursed his lips before shaking his head. “Nope.”

Instead of saying anything more to him, I turned back around and walked off. I had nothing to say to him after what had happened to us a few days ago. I wasn’t about to deal with this awkward situation when I came here to give myself some time and space.

“Where are you going?” Se Hun asked, following me.

“Leave me alone.” I muttered.

“Oh come on, Soo Jin. You get to walk around in people’s lives, but I can’t do the same?” Se Hun asked as he walked beside me as if we were friends.

I dead stared at him.

“Just pretend I’m not here.” Se Hun said as he bit into his fish again.

As if it was that easy…

**

Se Hun followed me everywhere in Busan and did not say a single word to me. He kept his silence. Whenever I bought food, he would hold up two fingers, indicating that he would like to add another two orders for himself so I had to pay for him. He walked beside me with one of his hands in his pockets while he held his phone in the other. It was quite peaceful in a weird way. It was as if he was accompanying me and waiting for me to speak, as if he knew something was going on, but I didn’t say anything.

“Is there anywhere you would like to go?” I asked as we finished walking around the fashion district area. I was getting tired and running out of ideas, especially since I didn’t want to go back to the hotel yet and I didn’t know how long he was going to follow me for.

Se Hun just shook his head.

“There’s somewhere I want to go, but can I ask for permission?” I asked, staring at him.

Se Hun nodded his head but still said nothing.

“Can we go see your grandpa?” I asked.

Se Hun’s face kind of fell, not that he ever really showed any facial expression, but I knew how he felt about it. I could tell his heart ached a bit and I’m sure he had not gone to see his grandpa for a while, knowing that he had been giving all of his attention to Jin Guk.

“He’s going to be so upset at me.” Se Hun said as he started walking towards the direction of where his grandpa would be.

“Why?” I asked as I trailed behind him, checking my phone hoping that Jin Hyuk had replied to me.

“Because we’re no longer together. I couldn’t keep my promise to him.” Se Hun said casually, making me stop in my tracks.

“W-what?” My heart sunk a bit.

“It’s the truth, but it’s not your fault, Soo Jin.” Se Hun didn’t turn back to look at me. He kept walking faced forward. “I’m the one who let you go first.”

My hands slowly fell to my side. I don’t know what it was, but the feeling of knowing that Se Hun did let me go felt like I was getting slapped in the face over and over again.

**

Se Hun gave me a moment alone with his grandpa. I didn’t say anything. I had brought flowers again for him and the last time I came here, I already cried enough. I looked at the grave and felt like I was betraying him – betraying Se Hun. I pressed the grass with my palm and felt the coolness of the greens against my skin. It was a bit wet, but it felt welcoming in an unexplainable way.

I stood up after awhile and turned back to see that Se Hun was faced slightly the other way staring off into space. He looked so serene. I couldn’t help but admire how he still looked. Se Hun was still as handsome as ever and I still couldn’t get over the fact that he was no longer the blonde guy I had fallen in love with, not that black hair changed him in any way.

“You’ve always had a staring problem.” He interrupted my thoughts, making me forget that I was pretty much dead staring at him.

I laughed to myself before walking towards him. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not.” He looked over at me and pressed his lips together.

“You’re right. I’m not… Not a single bit…” I sighed. “You can go visit him now. I’ll leave you alone –”

“Don’t leave.” Se Hun said, surprising me.

“What?” I couldn’t help but show him how surprised I was and he laughed a little.

“Just for a while, can we pretend like nothing’s changed?” Se Hun’s sudden words made me feel like the heavy weight on my shoulders were lifted off. “I don’t want us arguing and I don’t want us feeling like we cannot talk to each other. It’s… It’s burdensome to our friends.”

“Se Hun, I –”

“Please don’t be stubborn. If you keep this up, it’s just going to make it harder for everyone else and especially us.” Se Hun sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I just stared at him. I really didn’t know what to say to him because a part of me really wanted this so we could be at peace, but another part me felt like this was just all a fake phase between the two of us and I didn’t know if that would make me feel good at all whatsoever.

“Just until you get married…” Se Hun muttered.

“Okay…” I whispered.

**

Se Hun and I went to the beach after visiting his grandpa. We had to have been here for at least two hours already, but there were no words exchanged between us. I don’t know what was going through his mind, but I was too afraid to ask him. I saw the way he looked at his grandpa’s grave and how heavy his heart must have been. He cried, but he swallowed them as hard as he can. As if the great gangster kid could have fooled me.

The sun was starting to set and yet, I still didn’t have a call back or text from Jin Hyuk. I looked at my phone and checked to make sure all my messages were going through. I was a fool for thinking that they didn’t go through. I know they did. I know he’s not dead. I know he’s safe somewhere because no one has called me to confirm he was at a hospital or has disappeared. I know he’s ignoring me, but I didn’t know why. And it was the most frustrating thing I’ve dealt with all day.

I felt tears on the rim of my eyes. I was going to burst out into tears any moment, but I didn’t want to cry in front of Se Hun. Why would I cry about another man to someone I loved? I felt stupid. Everything about that moment made me embarrassed. I hated myself. Nothing was even going right. Why did I even come –

Se Hun, out of nowhere, pulled me into a warm embrace. I felt his arms squeeze me like they used to when I needed the comfort. His hands patted down my head, running through my nappy hair. My heart was beating so rapidly. I think I was having a heart attack. Okay, not literally, but it’s not good for your heart to irregularly beat the way it felt.

“Don’t say anything.” Se Hun said before I could even open my mouth to ask him why he was hugging me like this. “Can we just stay like this for a moment?”

I thought about how wrong it would be if Jin Hyuk saw me like this with Se Hun, but it didn’t feel wrong at all to me even though it should have been.

“Okay.” I replied to Se Hun.

“Can I say something?”

I nodded my head.

Se Hun pulled back at looked at me before wiping away the tears that unknowingly escaped. “What I said early at the grave, I meant it. I want us to pretend nothing happened between us. I want us to be friends again and be okay with being around each other. I… I love you. I love you, Ahn Soo Jin. I truly do and will always. But you’re getting married now and Jin Hyuk deserves all the love you have so let’s just end it that way. Sooner or later, you’ll think that way. Maybe not right now or tomorrow or…”

My face went numb, but I knew I was crying. His voice was fading as he continued to talk. I could hear bits of it, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to hear that Se Hun wanted us to pretend like we never fell in love, or that we never had that special connection… or that he made my heart so vulnerable every time we would look at each other.

“Soo Jin?” Se Hun was still staring at me.

“What?” My lips were trembling.

“Can you do that?” He asked.

I stared at him for what felt like a long while before I started shaking my head.

“Soo Jin –”

“I have never stopped loving you, Se Hun. I can’t just pretend we never happened.”

“You can’t –”

“Stop telling me how to feel.” I cried, almost yelling at the top of my lungs even though it was pretty weak. “I have been pretending the moment I came back and it was eating me up inside. I no longer am pretending to not have the feelings that are begging to come out.”

Se Hun didn’t say anything.

“But that doesn’t mean I won’t be marrying Jin Hyuk.” I wiped my tears as I stared the opposite way from Se Hun’s direction. “I will no longer let you make me falter.”

“T-that’s all I needed to hear.” Se Hun said before he suddenly got up and started walking away.

I turned around and watched him only to notice a different figure walking towards me and I knew exactly who it was.

Did Oh Se Hun, that stupid gangster kid, just set me up?

**Author's Note: Hey, it's been awhile, hasn't it? I want to apologize for the delay and hiatus. I won't go into detail with my life, but real life gets you as you age. It's tough and you really don't have time to yourself, but when you do, you literally have time to yourself and nothing else. I just want to thank those who have been majorly patient with me and this story itself. I mean it when I say I appreciate you guys. Words are just words, but I don't know what more I can do :( I love you all so much for always giving me motivation and for waiting. I also want to thank you all for all the condolences for my grandpa's passing. My heart was truly heavy for awhile, but I'm okay now. I hope to post more frequently and I will try my best to make each chapter better! Thank you all. I love you all so so much <3

**by the way, do not expect my grammatical errors to be corrected because I wanted to quickly post this up for you all who have been waiting :) <3