I used to have a crush on him, during middle school. We both played soccer, and that fact alone had already attracted my attention soon after I met him. We usually never talked to each other, and our relationship was nothing more than mere classmates.  Never one to really take any action, I had just admired him from afar. Then, on the last day of middle school, I had planned to confess to him, but it seemed I was one step too late. I saw him holding hands with a girl who was on the volleyball team, a happy smile on his face.

               All I felt was my heart numbing. I wasn’t even shocked. To comfort myself, I would tell myself that it was to be expected. I was just a dull girl who never stood out, while she was the ace of the volleyball team who had the smile every guy fell for. I wouldn’t even be qualified as competition. By telling myself these things, I was able to slowly move on and forget about my first love. I hadn’t seen him once since that day, and today’s encounter made my heart throb with pain as I remembered those events.

               It was the most awkward thing ever having to sit beside him, and I kept thinking whether I should have just let him stay standing, but that seemed too mean and I felt bad for even thinking it. After what seemed like a forever of awkwardness, my stop finally came into view, so I pressed the button requesting the bus driver to stop. Noticing that I needed to get off, Jae Hyun rose from his seat to let me get past. I was having just a little bit of difficulty getting my sports bag off of my backpack without having it just completely tumble off while still on the moving bus. Just as I was about successful, I felt the bag being lifted out of my hands. It was obviously Jae Hyun, but I was still surprised, because…well…just ‘cause. Shuffling out to the passageway in the middle of the bus, I bowed slightly as thanks to him, grabbed my bag, and stepped out of the bus.

                As the bus drove past me, I glanced at its windows to sneak a peek at Jae Hyun. I saw him resting his head on the window, having taken the seat I had been at. He was soon out of my sight, but I kept looking into the distance at the direction the bus went. WAIT A SECOND. Didn’t I forget about him already?? Why am I acting like a stupid lovesick person? Smacking my face a few times, I cleared my head and marched back to my house.

                After dinner, I continued working on my chemistry homework, but I just couldn’t seem to focus. My brain kept replaying today’s meeting with Jae Hyun over and over again as if someone was repeatedly rewinding and playing it as a movie. I dropped my pencil and flopped, belly-down, onto my bed. There was no point in sitting in front of my homework if I couldn’t focus anyway, so might as well lie down. I wondered if Jae Hyun was still dating that girl from the volleyball team. Her name was Da something…but I couldn’t remember it clearly. Darin? Nope, that wasn’t it, but I couldn’t remember exactly what it was. Well, whatever her name, I really wondered whether they were still going out. The curiosity was killing me. Sighing, I yelled into my pillow.

“AHHHHHHHHH I should have just brought it up casually! Why didn’t I ask???”

 I should have just confirmed it and then moved on for once and for all. After seeing him again, I realized that I couldn’t deny that my feelings for him came back just a snippet, but I was sure that I would be able to forget them again, just like I did back then. I was so deep in thought that I almost didn’t notice my younger sister poking her head into my room with a face that said “shut up”.

                So, I decided that the next time I saw him, I would make sure to question his current relationship with her, with indifference, of course. If he had afterschool soccer practices on Thursday too, like today, then I would most likely be able to see him at around the same time as today. With my mind made up, I went back to my desk, picked up my pencil, and worked on my homework, awaiting Thursday.