“…Mark, I’m sure you already know what I’m going to say...that’s probably why you have such a bitter look on your face, huh?” I gave his hand a squeeze, because I didn’t know what else to do, and he wasn’t saying anything either. “I’m really sorry, Mark. I really like you, but only as a friend. You’re an irreplaceable existence to my life, and it would be nice if we could still be friends after this, but I understand if you won’t even want to look at my face anymore.”

                By then, my eyes had started tearing up, the tears threatening to just overflow and roll down my face. Mark didn't reply, and without anything more to say, I just sat there holding his hand while sniffling. My tears had eventually started to fall in big, fat droplets, despite my willing it not to. I noticed that Mark’s pants had darkened spots where tears had fell onto them, and it made me feel so bad that I just sobbed harder.

                After a while, when my tears had finally slowed, I let go of Mark’s hand and stood, not facing him. “I’ll go ahead first,” I said, my lips quivering. Then, I exited the infirmary briskly, breaking out into a run as soon as I reached the empty hallway. I ran to my locker to pack my things, not even bothering to go back to class. My backpack was in my locker, probably brought there by Jackson after I had passed out. Shoving my books into it and grabbing my jacket, I wasted no time in sprinting towards the nearest exit, wanting to just get home as soon as possible. I was just so scared that Mark would never forgive me, that he would avoid me forever. The wait for the bus felt like an eternity as my impatience took over my every thought. I just wanted to escape and get as far away from Mark as possible because I didn’t want to hear him say “I hate you” if I faced him.

                When I arrived home, my eyes were blurry from the tears that had once again accumulated. It took me way longer than usual just to separate the correct key from the few I had dangling from a keychain. It was the keychain that was given to me as a birthday gift from Jackson and Mark. Of course, that too made me start crying again because it made me think about the friendship between the three of us that might never be the same again.

                As the lock clicked and I finally entered the safety of my house, I slumped down, leaning against the closed door. Now that I was by myself, I cried my heart out, letting my tears flow freely, splattering onto the floor. I didn’t know how I would be able to face Mark at school tomorrow, and I didn’t know how I would face Jackson either. He’s bound to find out about what happened. Once again, I was scared, but this time it was because I was scared that Jackson would hate me too. Paranoid thoughts ran through my head non-stop, one leading to another. *What if Jackson hates me because I hurt his friend? What if I become a loner again? What if everyone at school starts to hate me? What if the same thing that happened with Hana happens again?* The paranoid thoughts kept heaping up until I practically had a mental breakdown.

                I was always one to overreact and to always think negatively of myself, but I could never stop myself from being extremely pessimistic once I started. In fact, it would often become so serious that it would even lead to depression. That was probably going to happen again today. The last time it happened was after the incident with Hana and Jinyoung. Luckily, Jackson and Mark were there to save me from my depression that time, but this time, Mark would not be there, and Jackson probably won’t be either.

I'm so sorry for the extremely late update :(  Thank you so much if you haven't decided to just drop the story already, though I feel like a lot of you probably would have.. I just realized that I use the word "probably" a lot...hmmmm...oh well ;) See ya next time!