EXTRA: Lee Donghae's Diary 3 Years Ago.
A Drop of Coffee Cream
Lee Donghae Entry 08/04/04
23 years old. Paris. Stormy Night.
In such a way, I found my heart beating fast everytime I see him. Those pictures that shows his perfect smile,complexion and jaw line, the way his eyes would go smaller as he shows his gratitude and when he shows his happiness to others. It was kind of saddening to know what I'm feeling, especially to the point of realizing that someone like me,a cheap human being,won't be able to tame such fairytale-like man.
I'm a dense person.Therefore, knowing these kinds of things was hard for me.It took me years to know and It took me months to stop and move on from my stage of denial.
It was when I was depressed, depressed that my spirit and love for art lessen. When it was like the end of my life- the end of the whole universe in which we all live in, it was as if earth was breaking to peices and the only thing standing was him,my light.
He was the angel that was sent from heaven to protect everyone, to serve as the hope and inspiration. And just like that, there was a rule, to not fall in love with a creature different from yours. Yet, yes he is, truly a human being but with those elegant movements and the smile that could melt thousands, is he really?
The Pinching hurt you're feeling when thinking that he's with someone, am I right and is in that position? Those pictures that appear when you close your eyes, imagining that he's with his perfect one, the one he'll spend his life with; through happiness,sadness and in making choices. Someone you'll never be.
The unacceptable truth,the fact that life is like this-full of obstacles that you sometimes cannot take but with him by your side,without him even knowing...you can go.
He is my angel and I, Lee Donghae, could only admire his beauty from his back forever despite not knowing his beautiful name.
-Lee Donghae.
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