Yoon Ji Hoo and Hong Mo Nae

Two people who have been hurt twice.

Both wanted to forget the pain. Both wanted to find their new selves within a sturdy personality. Both wanted to take the trip to refresh their minds. And both call themselves a failure.

But if they were given another chance…

… would they be willing to prove that they could also succeed in love?

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­MO NAE

What happened nine days ago was really scary. I thought it would be the last time that I would be breathing. All thanks to Yoon Ji Hoo, I’m still alive ‘til now. But I was thinking, what could have happened if he hadn’t saved me? Would my soul be wandering in heaven now? Or in…

“All the passengers could proceed to the dining area now. The captain’s party is about to start. Again, all the passengers proceed to the dining hall. Thank you.”

I heard the lady on the speaker say this. It’s the last night of this cruise. I really enjoyed this and I’m sad that it has to end.

How I wish I could experience this again. Being far from all the problems, from the real life that I have to encounter again in a short time from now.

I’m all dressed up so all I have to do is follow what the lady said.

I made sure that all my things are packed up before leaving my room. I know this would be a long night for me because I would make the most of this party knowing that this would be my last free day.

Free from all the pain, from all the weakness, from all the failure.

I saw an empty table and immediately settled myself there. A waiter passed by and I got the red wine from the tray that he was holding. I drank and drank as long as I see waiters holding a tray with red wine on it.

“Shouldn’t you be drinking white wine instead?” someone asked me.

I turned around to look for the owner of that familiar voice and like what I thought, it’s him.

Yoon Ji Hoo

The man who I asked to share a table with. The man who initiated a conversation between us. The man who saved me. The man who made this trip colorful for me.

But doesn’t he know that I get easily attracted to a man? I mean, by just a single look, my heart gets easily captured. Just like what happened when Gun Wook oppa landed on my yacht.

It also doesn’t help much that my heart is wounded. When I met Gun Wook oppa, after a few days, my heart got broken on my birthday. And that’s how my feelings for him grew much stronger.

Now, I’ve been hurt, not just once, but twice! And then this Ji Hoo guy suddenly shows up! Isn’t he aware of how fragile my heart is? Doesn’t he know that with all the care he shows for me, I could fall for him in an instant?

I looked away from him and turned around to my table again. Whatever it is that I’m feeling, it has to stop before I get hurt again. If I ended up shooting Gun Wook oppa, what could happen if these feelings go on? I don’t even know what happened after what I did. Did he die? Or is he still alive somewhere? I don’t really have any idea.

Oh yes, that’s another thing. If this stupid attraction goes on, will this guy accept me despite the craziness that I’ve done? That is, if he ever feels the same way as I do.

“Is there any problem?” He distracted my thoughts by asking.

He’s sitting on the chair opposite me now. I shook my head at him.

“Just go away.” I replied quickly without looking at him.

“Why?”

I tried to hold back the tears and replied, “Because you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re just adding to… to…”

“To what?”

—to my hopes, you idiot!

I couldn’t terminate what I’m saying because I’m afraid he would just laugh at it. Laugh that I even thought of having an “US.”

But this male is a great observant. He seemed to read my thoughts without me finishing what I was saying.

“Don’t worry, I don’t get attracted to bratty girls, especially the elite ones.”

Okay, one sentence and I think my heart will burst. I should be happy that he said that. At least I know that this is just out of pure friendship. Or maybe acquaintances – one level below friendship since we don’t even know detailed information about each other’s lives.

“Then why did you try to interact with me?” I asked him.

“It’s because you seemed lonely.”

I rolled my eyes and made a face.

“What an illogical answer! So why don’t you talk to every single person on this ship who seems lonely?”

“They have someone with them.”

What the hell is he saying?

“You know, they are with someone. So even if they’re lonely, there’s someone who could talk to them. Someone close to them and could comfort them. Unlike you.” He explained further.

“Oh, as if I need someone to comfort me! For your information, I took this trip to find the better side of me and not to let someone like you insult me!”

“Hey, I’m not insulting you! I’m just stating the obvious.”

“Oh, please! You say that I’m alone and lonely. What about you? You simply conclude about people’s lives when you haven’t seen yourself in the mirror! Before you say anything to anyone, look at yourself first!”

I didn’t want to hear anything from him anymore. I’m really pissed off. I stood up and walked to the dance floor. I want to be happy on this night but why did this man have to come and ruin the moment? Sure, talking to him for the past nine days really made me forget about the reality about my life in the country. But did he have to use those harsh words on me? Alone? Lonely? Did he just talk to me because he felt that damn pity? Well, I don’t need him!

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JI HOO

Mo Nae stood up and went to the dance floor. Whatever. She’s free to do what she wants to do. I don’t want to meddle anymore. My words were true. I’m not the type to easily commence any conversation to someone. It’s just that we both appear to be on the same situation. That’s why I found it at ease when I was with her. But just like what I told her, I don’t get attracted to bratty girls of the elite circle. It’s all out of curiosity and longing to forget my real life in Korea.

I admit, I miss my life, but not the sorrows. This trip did help a lot. It made me enliven the happiness that I’ve been wanting to have even if it’s just for a short period of time. I wouldn’t deny that Hong Mo Nae had a huge role in making me divert my thoughts about the past. Her sweet voice and pretty face, everything about her. It’s just that I really don’t feel the attraction.

Although I’m positive that I felt something weird on the night that she accidentally fell off the ship, I think that’s because no matter what happens, I’m still a man. And for me, that ends there. No weird feelings followed after that. Just mere curiosity is all.

It’s getting late and I decided to go back to my room to rest. I would be back to Korea tomorrow so I have to prepare myself for endless nagging from my grandfather and my friends. But before that, I have to talk to Mo Nae first, for the last time. I have to thank her for the communications that we had during this journey.

I stood up and looked for her on the dance floor. Since there are a lot of people and they’re all busy with their dance moves, I tried to observe their clothes. Mo Nae is wearing a red dress that is a few inches below her knees. But it has a kind-of-long slit on the left side that somehow exposes her left leg.

Right. I’ll just look for that outfit to see her.

I’m now in the middle of the dance floor. Some ladies went to me and asked me to be their dance partners. I can’t even dance to a contemporary music, so I just shook my head to them and continued looking here and there.

After a few minutes of searching, I saw the dress that I’m looking for and I wasn’t mistaken, it really is Hong Mo Nae. She had her back on me so she didn’t see me approaching her. But she’s not alone. She had a partner. And based on my observation, this man is taking advantage of her. His hands are starting to explore from her waist upwards. Mo Nae looks like she’s enjoying it. Doesn’t she know that she’s engaging herself to a grave danger?

I walked towards their direction and pulled them apart harshly.

“What the heck?!” The man yelled at me.

Mo Nae tried to push my hand away from her arm.

“What are you doing? Let me go!”

I eyed her ferociously as if sending the message of what danger she could have with this man.

“Excuse me, mister, if you don’t have anything nice to do, just let her go. We’re having a good time here!”

I transferred my gaze from Mo Nae to this unidentified man. Just what I expect, he looks like he won’t do anything right.

“Excuse us also, mister. But this lady here doesn’t know what she’s doing. It’s time for her to rest now.”

Mo Nae tried to push me again with greater force.

“You don’t give a damn! Let me go! I don’t want to---“

I didn’t let her finish what she was going to say as I stole a kiss from her lips. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it’s the only way I could think of to drive the suspicious man away.

“I think I’m going to be her dance partner from here.” I said to the man when I ended the short kiss.

Mo Nae just stood there still astounded for what just happened.

The man gritted his teeth and gave me a fierce look before walking away.

I let Mo Nae’s arm go as she stared at me with anger.

“You think you could just barge in and ruin my enjoyment?!” She asked me.

“I’m just saving you.” I replied coldly.

“Oh yes, saving me. You sure love doing that. Should I thank you for what you just did? Well, okay. Thank you for wrecking my last night on this cruise!” She yelled while still glaring at me.

Her stare made me feel guilty. We were supposed to enjoy this night, but what have I done?

Unexpectedly, the music turned into a slow one. Some people went out of the dance floor, while the lovers made their way to swing on the love song. We were the only ones left that weren’t dancing.

“Hey, can you two move? You’re blocking the way! Just sway with us!” A lady said while encircling her arms around her partner’s neck.

I gave Mo Nae an apologetic look. My intention was to thank her and not bungle her night. I couldn’t say it. It’s just a simple Thank You. Just two words that I’m so willing to say, but I couldn’t. I felt an overwhelming shame for what I did. So I just stared at her hoping that she would get my message of apologizing. I was about to walk away when she stopped me.

“If you’re really sorry, could you at least accompany me here? Just one song.” She pleaded.

I didn’t expect her to request that. I don’t want to give in, but she said,

“I think I’m going to be her dance partner from here. You said that, right? Can you at least be a real man and stand by your words?”

Okay, now I’m caught off-guard. I want to rest, but I also want to prove to her that I’m sincere with my admission of guilt.

I sighed when I finally made a decision. I put my hands on her waist as a signal for her that I’m granting her request. She, on the other hand, put her hands on my shoulders and we began moving side to side.

God, this is embarrassing. This moment is for the couples, the lovers, and such. We aren’t one, so what the hell?

Just this once. Just one song and it will all be over.

I was busy looking at the couples behind Mo Nae that I didn’t notice the intense stare that she’s giving me. When I felt her heavy gaze, I also stared at her and when I did, she did something that was unforeseeable for me—

—she crashed her lips on mine.

I’m thinking of pushing her away. This isn’t right. We don’t even love, or at least, like each other. But the event of me stealing a short kiss from her earlier flashed through my brain. And inadvertently, I found myself returning her kiss with equal passion that she gives.

Her hands left my shoulders and made their way at the back of my neck and to my hair. My hands tightened around her waist and began caressing her back. I don’t know what’s happening. It’s as if my hands and body have their own intellect that they won’t obey what my brain is telling them.

The light touches and kisses turned to heavy ones and I don’t know where it would bring us.

I felt the same weird feelings that I felt on that night when I saved her from drowning, when I was changing her clothes.

Maybe this proves that I was right. Even if I don’t interact with people much, even if I say that I dislike the bratty ladies, I’m just a person and no matter what happens, I’m still a man. A man who has no difference to others. A man who has his own desires.

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