This morning Mino didn’t even think about going to school. Four hours of sleep barely did anything. His school day started at eight, but he just layed on his messy bed, without wanting to get up at half past seven. The only thing, what made him want to go to school, was Seunghoon. It actually made Mino angry. What did the child do to get his attention? He didn’t want to care about the boy. It would be the last thing, that he’d do in his life.

Mino yawned and rubbed his face with his palms before he opened his eyes. The light flowing through the window shades slightly brightened the room and he just stared at the ceiling. Sometimes he was just so tired of his life. Was he really going to school?

 

”..” he grunted with a sleepy-gruff voice and sat up on his bed with only boxers on. He, displeased, opened his nightstand’s drawer and took out one of his snuff boxes and started to set small amount of it under his upper lip. It really soothed him and he stood up from his bed to wear his black jeans and his grey hoodie. He didn’t wash his face, didn’t look at his phone or eat, and just threw his backpack on his back. His dad was nowhere to be seen or heard, but it didn’t really worry him.

He started to walk towards the school like a zombie. He threw his hood on his head and was still squinting the light around him. Step by step he doubted his actions more and more.

His head dangled towards the ground and his steps were slow.

 

The sun didn’t shine today either.

 

 

—

 

 

”Mino, what the hell.” Next to Hanbin, on the corridor’s pole leaned Bobby almost laughed while speaking with snuff under his lip. Hanbin smiled next to him wearing his new Elstinko’s black hoodie, which had red checkerboard pattern on the sleeves, with black tight ripped jeans with a golden chain on his neck. How rich exactly was he?

 

”You have started going to school.” he laughed with his five billion won smile and made Mino laugh a little bit too. The four hours of sleep was probably shining from his face, which made the situation even funnier to them. Nothing was funny today.

 

”We are going to Jinhwan’s place today.” Bobby announced his face almost  deadpanned. The black haired zombie knew exactly, what they would do at Jinhwan’s place like always - the played, until someone’s eyes fell off - literally.

 

”When?” he asked as he put his hands in his hoodie’s pockets and at the same time leaned on the pole like Bobby. Externally it probably looked like he couldn’t care less.

 

”We thought we’d go after the next class already.” Hanbin answered  and Bobby quickly added: ”Because can’t stand school.” It wasn’t a surprising answer. Mino rubbed his eyes again and his lips. It felt like there were people only two years older spinning around them.

 

”I’m in.” he muttered while watching the clock. Five minutes before the lesson starts. Why he even bothered to come here? He could have just slept.

”That’s what we thought.” Hanbin answered, but Bobby started to explain something excited before he could finish.

 

”Did you Mino by the way hear already that Taehyun’s girl cheated on him with Donghyuk.” Bobby bursted into a loud laughter, which got the attention of people passing by. Bobby got the attention wherever, whenever he wanted it.

 

”Isn’t Taehyun your friend?” Hanbin curiously asked Mino, who didn’t understand the situation yet.

 

”Yeah he is, but like what the hell. Doesn’t Donghyuk date that girl who is two years older?” The topic didn’t really interest him, because this happened all the time, but Bobby made all rumors and news sound interesting. He was like all the gossip girls who were the same age as them.

 

”Yes he does! That’s what makes this all funny.” Bobby answered his smile almost reaching his ears. Mino liked that coldhearted side of Bobby. If someone their age did, for example, a suicide he still probably would give a laugh and say an ugly gossip about the person. That far he would go, in Mino’s opinion.

 

They were in school until twelve o’clock and then they marched  with cancer roll’s in their mouths to Jinhwan’s house, which was less than a kilometer away from the school. Leaving school didn’t really bother Mino, because Seunghoon wasn’t at school today. He ditched almost as much as him.

 

 

 

—

 

 

Luckily these boys, who had arrived to Jinhwan’s family’s three floored mansion, got his thoughts away. A man, who Mino maybe didn’t want to see there, was there - Minwoo, Seunghoon’s biggest bully. He was a year older than them and he had dark short hair, which were styled up, annoyingly cute dimples and he wore light colored jeans everyday and different colored V-neck t-shirts with his worn out leather jacket. He was gathered in Jinhwan’s living room around a 45 inch wide television with Jinhwan, Taehyun and Seungyoon, who was a year older than them, with gamepads in their hands and eyes staring at the screen.

 

”Heyyy.” Bobby greeted them first and jumped on the big couch’s corner between Minwoo and Jinhwan showing maybe even ten centimeters of his boxers. This happened always, when Bobby began to feel like home somewhere. 

 

”Hanbin!” Jinhwan yelled out and tapped the empty spot next to him. ”Did you remember to bring something?” he asked the boy while smiling lightly towards the TV screen. The room was filled with boys’ yelling.

Still groggy Mino walked slowly towards the couch and lowered his bottom on the couch’s armrest next to Taehyun, who greeted him without even glaring at him and without his happy smile. Mino lay his hand on the boy’s shoulder without saying a word. Taehyun probably understood, because they had known each other for a long time.

 

Mino glared towards Hanbin, who dug two alcohol bottles from his schoolbag. The others probably noticed it too and scrappy laughs started to fill the room.

 

”What the hell?”

 

”When is the party?”

 

”Our little drunkie.”

 

”Please someone concentrate to the game!” usually quiet Seungyoon yelled out, but soon a text appeared on the screen saying that the game was over. It made the boy frustrated. Mino grinned slightly and turned his attention towards Jinhwan, who’s cheeks were red.

 

”At my girlfriend’s place, at friday.” Seungyoon answered more calmly and Mino felt Taehyun stir under his hand. ”Everyone are welcome.” he added, which made Bobby excited.

 

”Who wants to offer me the drinks?” he smiled as prettily as he could. Mino raised his hand automatically and relieved Bobby made a heart with his hands and pointed at him. It made Mino smirk and do the same for him. He was in debt to him anyways.

 

”Can Chanyong and Jiyong come?” Minwoo asked while watching at them. They all remembered the last party, where the two were, even though they all probably where drunk. They had started a fight with boys who were two years older than Mino and at the end Junhoe had gone between them while he was drunk and got his kicked. The school had gossiped about it for few weeks.

Always so kind-hearted Jinhwan immediately blurted out that it wasn’t a good idea, but all glared at Seungyoon, who just raised his shoulders.

 

”As long as there’s no need to call the ambulance.”

 

”Yeah I believe that if someone starts a fight, it’s Jinhwan.” Bobby giggled while pointing at the two strong alcohol bottles. He was probably implying to Jinhwan’s smallness because the older one just rolled his eyes. Quite few reacted to it with a laugh, except Taehyun and Hanbin.

 

”Wasn’t it close last time that Minwoo got hit too?” Hanbin asked irritating the older one on purpose. Mino just enjoyed the conversation as long as no one brought out his wobbling. He remembered well, how much people talked about his drunk peeing ritual and it embarrassed him a lot.

 

”Mm, but I try to be the one hitting.”

 

”Oohh!” Bobby reacted with a loud cheer and Seungyoon clapped dramatically to the answer. Seunghoon..

 

”That answer should get a medal.” Seungyoon blurted out amused and started a new game with six gamepads a.k.a everyone expect Bobby, he wasn’t really good at it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

”By the way do you know what’s the name of that ballet school?” Mino listened sharply to Minwoo’s question, even though they all knew that nobody knew the answer.

 

”Korea’s most famous ballet institute a.k.a KFB, sounds like a mafia to me.” Minwoo laughed mockingly and the others laughed after him - everyone else except Mino.

 

 

 

—

 

 

On afternoon Mino went to the gym, when the gaming started to tire him. He went to the gym, gossiped with Bobby about everything useless and about things they didn’t dare to speak in large groups; girls, motorcycles, about people in general, rapping, gossips… What normal teenagers talked about usually.

After that Mino walked home and his dad was still nowhere to be seen. That wasn’t new. One time his dad had went 200 kilometers away for a work trip for two weeks, without telling him. After the first week, Mino had contacted him. His dad thought it was okay to Mino; to leave without saying a word. That’s what his mom had done when she left him and his dad when he was four.

Mino ate his pizza while sitting on the sofa after a shower while his legs on the table, which was filled with newspapers and mugs. The oldest paper was maybe from two weeks. He watched some froth korean drama to loosen his brains. This was what he did almost always, when he was home alone. Mino enjoyed this.

As he let his thoughts fly around, suddenly he remembered - he had history tomorrow. He didn’t like it.

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

His automatic alarm was again useful, because he had imperceptibly fell asleep on the couch while the TV was still on. He felt disgustingly cold when he woke up without a blanket. The black muff sat up on the couch and ruffled his hair wearily. He didn’t have enough strength.. Mino turned off the TV and yawned once before he went to put on the coffeemaker. He took up his phone while he was walking to his room to look for some clothes.

 

He firstly noticed from all the notifications, that he had been added to a new Line group chat, which was named with a beer emoji. 304 unread messages… He quickly glanced at the messages and the topic was about who would get the alcohol and it was full of embarrassing drunk photos. One picture of Mino had managed to get there; there was a panda swing in the play park which was attached to the ground and moved back and forth - only really small children used them and Mino had got on top of it while drunk his head close to the panda’s bottom. He uttered a laugh at the picture and noticed that there were about 15 people in the group chat. Some of them were still middle schoolers, but they were tolerable and more mature with their stories; Sehun, Tao and rich- Suho.

Bobby spammed to him all night too, telling what drinks he wanted and about that girl, who he had been talking to for a long time, but she lived in Mokpo. Mino sighted frustrated, because he had to take care of the drinks. He read the messages and decided to give advice to him at the school, which the boy needed.

 

Mino applied face cream, put on his ripped and little uncomfy black jeans with his grey hoodie. He put hair gel on his hair with his fingers to get iy appropriately look ”neatly messy”.

He drank his coffee and left still with his untouched books in the backpack towards the school unnoticed, that he was for once going to school in time.

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

He walked straight to in front of his class room to wait for his lesson to start while leaning to the wall. He glanced around him imperceptibly as possible, looking for his friends. Instead, he saw this eight and- nine grader trio, who were in that drunk group chat and they stared at him very closely. They slowed their speed and Suho- was just about to turn to him, but luckily Bobby, Hanbin and Donghyuk jumped in front of him while greeting loudly, so Suho backed away slowly. Mino truly didn’t care about young boys, so good.

 

”Mino gets to play with the ballerina boy today.” the youngest and the most stupid of his friends a.k.a Donghyuk laughed with his childish but cute face and a high voice. He wasn’t sure, how to react, because he thought that was a inappropriate comment and Donghyuk always tried to be so ”funny”.

 

”Oh yeah..” Hanbin said while smiling widely and talking really slowly. Bobby just smiled with his teeth showing and snuff under his lip. Mino forced a smile, so he didn’t need to say anything to Donghyuk.

 

Mino’s attention turned away in a second, when he saw Seunghoon walking in the hallway towards their class. His little too big white, short sleeved V-neck highlighted his thinness, because his collar- and thorax bones were showing. His gaze was towards the floor again, hiding the fear in his eyes.

 

”Does he eat?” Donghyuk threw a stupid comment again, but Mino knew he used to be the same; inconsiderate about the rudeness of his comments. Only a few, nowadays was careful of their words and was actually aware, that the victim of the words was a human like himself. Only now Mino started to realize the world’s bleakness.

 

Their teacher came to open the door, but Mino peeked behind him, when some boys got Seunghoon to trip and then laughed sarcastically. The only thing, that Mino was able to do, was to turn away.

 

 

 

—

 

 

They sat in the class room, but already after five minutes Ms. Kim let them to go do their work. Mino started to feel nervous, when he stood up from his desk. While noticing again, how the boy’s hands suffered, white, under the table.

 

Mino walked to his desk and watched completely somewhere else and said:”Outside?” Seunghoon didn’t look at him or give any sign, that he was listening. Mino got always angry, when someone didn’t listen him, but he tried to remind himself, that maybe today Seunghoon wasn’t just that cooperative. The black muff started to walk with long steps out of the class room while sending a explosive glare towards the teacher, who had been watching them the whole time.

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

He walked speedily trying to elude Seunghoon, because the boy surely remembered, where they were sitting last time. Mino didn’t want anyone else to see. Luckily it was quite quiet and peaceful outside, and any class wasn’t on a brake or anything else. It wasn’t winding, wasn’t raining, but this still wasn’t spring. Calmly sitting down, starting to place a cigarette to his mouth, Mino stayed to wait for Seunghoon, who walked a little bit further with notes in his hands.

He sat down on very edge of the bench, but something in him was colder than last time.

 

”How much do we have left?” Mino asked while he was breathing out the smoke. He didn’t want to be interested, if was he unthinkingly rude again.

 

”A little bit.” Seunghoon almost whispered and added:”I can do all by myself so we don’t have to see on our free time.” His words hit Mino as a strange disappointment and he turned to look at Seunghoon and how the boy’s tired eyes jumped from row to row.

 

 

”You don’t need to.” Mino answered confidently, but it just made Seunghoon to bit his lower lip like he tried to keep something inside him. Mino didn’t like this atmosphere. There was something explosive about it again.

 

 

After ten minutes, when Seunghoon had wrote the text further and Mino had just smoked his cigarettes, Seunghoon finally raised his gaze towards Mino.

 

It surprised the black muff and turned his eyes to his. His eyes shined again in fear, which he saw from his eyes in the hallway every day.

 

”Stop.” he asked, but he didn’t have that confident tone in his voice. Mino was sure for a moment, that he was talking about the cigarette, but he couldn’t.

 

”Stop whatever you are trying to do.” he specified his words without breaking their eye contact. What was he talking about? His words really hit Mino, because he knew that he wasn’t trying anything.

 

”What?” Mino asked confused while looking at him. And he couldn’t help it, that his low voice easily sounded grumpy, like now. It made Seunghoon’s body froze and it was obvious, that something was boiling inside of him. Not hate, maybe fear again.

 

”Are you purposely trying to be nice to me?”

 

 

 

 

Mino froze and stomped his cigarette on the ground while his lip - a habit, which he did always when he didn’t know what to say. He lowered his elbows on his tights and pressed his palm on his face. Did he really think of that kind of things?

 

”I know that they are your friends.”

 

 

 

Mino lifted his face from his hands and rested his chin on his hands as he watched ahead, where he saw few trees and a sports field. He was just speechless and couldn’t cool himself. Maybe Mino really had been too nice to the boy.

 

 

”That’s what I thought.” Seunghoon blurted out still watching him like a mom trying to say to her child that he should behave better. Seunghoon wouldn’t believe him. Never - and Mino didn’t want to betray Seunghoon anymore. They had seen on one day and the boy was already thinking about those kind of things?

 

”I promise in my mother’s name that I’m not like that.” Mino said serious, but maybe Seunghoon wouldn’t understand how important those words were to Mino. Maybe it was just a joke to Seunghoon. But he had never said anything so seriously appealing to his mom.

 

”Don’t we all..” Seunghoon muttered sarcastically and started to calm down. He returned back to his notes. Mino turned his head towards the boy, but Mino could almost see how the boy put a dome around him. A dome, inside Mino would never be welcomed.

 

 

Maybe Seughoon was just looking for his savior, but was disappointed every time he met new people.

 

 

 

___________________

omg thank you all for your

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