Mino woke up to his dad’s familiar rage and to his annoyed tone saying, that he needed to go to school. In some way it all felt just really empty and meaningless. According to his dad it was close that he would kick him out.

 

Mino had gone straight to sleep on that night, (right after he threw up in the toilet of course) but Gunhee hadn’t been home then yet - his dad had noticed it too. That’s were the rage had started. At five am, to Mino’s fortune, Gunhee came home. 

 

 

 

He smelled and he could still taste the vomit and alcohol in his mouth, when he finally managed to get himself up while his dad was yelled at him through the door. He listened to every word, but the meaning of the words was gone and he was as angry as his dad - although he wasn’t in a that kind of state that he could say something back.

 

”I raised a worthless kid like that?”

 

”I’ll go to the office now. For once, try to behave.”

 

Mino’s head was throbbing every time he used his brain or stood up. He never wanted to not go to school that bad. It felt like no power could get him out of this house. Expect, that he didn’t want to live on the street. And Mino didn’t even need to question his dad about kicking him out.

 

He glanced at himself from his room’s mirror and looked just like he felt. He was still wearing the clothes Bobby chose yesterday, but in a different condition. There were blood, vomit, blood, sweat and random stains on his shirt, his black ripped jeans were more ripped and his knees were covered with blood. His black hair were stickily on his black eye, his nose was reddish and blood stains still on his face.

 

 

 

His dad’s words which he said last night still swayed in his mind so badly, that it almost made him crazy in between all the pain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He had to see Seunghoon.

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

There weren’t any friends for him in school, just like Mino had thought, but he felt like everyone were avoiding him now, although it may have been because he didn’t have time to go to shower that morning and probably still smelled like alcohol.

Did the events of last night reach the ears of others? Good that Mino even remembered the half of it.

The strangest thing was, that the seventh graders stared at him contemptuously, when Mino walked to his math class. There was something very abnormal about this, which frightened Mino.

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

He managed to be in school for the first three classes, until he fell asleep twice on the same class and was sent home.

 

Mino knew that he couldn’t take the risk and go home, because his dad could be home.. He just couldn’t, so he decided to sit and play with his phone in the school’s library for a while. The library, where only smart people, nerds and phone addicts like him visited, to charge their phone.

 

 

 

In the middle of a class there wasn’t supposed to be anyone in the library, until Mino heard steps echoing in the library. Mino was sitting in the library’s downstairs in a dark corner his feet on the table and a hood heavily on his head. He didn’t want to be seen.

 

 

This person turned out to be Seunghoon, who threw his backpack on the other side of the table frustrated, probably thinking that he was alone. He was turning around, when he saw Mino staring at him wondering the boy’s gesturing. Mino didn’t even try to pretend that he wasn’t looking. Something in Seunghoon’s restlessness and frustration was new.

 

 

They looked at each other like competing with their reactions, which one would be more shocked. They didn’t say anything to each other and continued whatever they were doing. It was sad and ridiculous at the same time, but they didn’t speak to each other voluntarily before so they didn’t do it now either.

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

After an hour Mino decided to leave and started walking slowly towards home, because all of his drunkie friends were still sleeping and didn’t respond to his texts. He wasn’t able to cover up his hangover anymore, which was seen from the people’s reactions, when they saw him. It was really annoying.

 

Even when he came home he couldn’t avoid a judging expression, because Gunhee was awake.

 

 

 

 

Gunhee was sitting in the living room with a huge glass of water in his hands and hopelessly sick-looking. He didn’t even budge when Mino stepped inside. He was younger that Mino and inexperienced with drinking, but he surely had drank much more than him.

 

”Hey.” Mino blurted out as he sat on the couch’s hand rest trying to get some information from him, what had happened yesterday.

 

”Hi.”

 

”Mister Song came home huh..” Gunhee muttered tiredly. 

 

”Yeah and where had you been at that time?”

 

”I left the bar with Chanyong and Jinwoo a little bit panicky because no one had seen you.” Gunhee explained with a happy tone, but something didn’t seem right about Gunhee’s story. Chanyong? He was the one who got him into a fight and outside of the bar he suddenly didn’t know where he had disappeared?

 

”We stayed in the Seoul’s downtown with Bobby and Hanbin when we wondered where were we even going and we didn’t have any money.” Gunhee continued, which took surprisingly long. It didn’t bother Mino.

 

”But everything is alright now?”

 

”Well yeah. Jin called at night hysterically telling that you had got off from the taxi on a weird place, so we got a confirmation that you were alive.”

 

”Mmm…alright.” Mino laughed loudly, thinking what was the real story and Gunhee smiled widely with his tired eyes.

 

”Your friends are fun”.

 

”Yeah, but they can get annoying too.”

 

”We thought we could go get some hangover food today, you wanna come?” Gunhee asked and drinked the whole glass of water. Was Gunhee starting to be friends with his friends?

 

”We?”

 

”Yeah. Jinhwan, Junhoe, Sangwoo, Chanyong and so on.”

 

Mino didn’t know how to react, but he knew that it wasn’t the best idea for Gunhee to get friendly with them. Hearing Chanyong’s name gave Mino shivers. He still wanted to give the boy a chance, Everyone needed a chance.

 

 

”Maybe. I’ll think about it.” Mino said as carefree as possible, but it probably sounded fake.

 

When he turned away towards his rooms Gunhee stopped him asking:”I heard you are moving to America?”. Mino didn’t want to go through this conversation with anyone. He felt emptiness and darkness, when he thought about it. He still couldn’t believe it.

 

”Unfortunately yes.” he answered, but he felt like yelling NO and run away. Mino didn’t stay to listen, did Gunhee have anything more to say but he rushed to his room and jumped on his bed. Were they really moving? But his whole life was here? How could he just move himself to a different continent and imagine living there even a one good day? You could never assume something like that from anyone. 

 

 

Mino dug up his phone and noticed, that the group chats had woken up again.

 

According what people were saying, Jinhwan had left with Taehyun already in the early night back to Jinhwan’s house, because Jinhwan had been too drunk to even look straight. Junhoe and Sangwoo had stayed in Seoul at their friend’s house, because they didn’t think of anything else to do. Many had wondered, what had happened to Jin and Mino and Chanyong didn’t comment about it, even though he had read the messages. .

 

 

Then a problem came to his mind again and it was that text, which someone had saw at Jinhwan’s place.

 

A message appeared to his phone’s screen’s top, which made him take a deep breath and relax.

 

 

 

Seunghoon

Do you wanna meet?

 

 

Mino wanted to write of course, but his fingers and brains weren’t cooperating.

 

 

Mino

In an hour?

 

 

Seunghoon

See you then

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mino hurried to the shower, which he had waited for the whole day, along with seeing Seunghoon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

 

”Hey!” Seunghoon said to him nowadays smiling genuinely. He had started to use that smile recently. Mino appeared next too him a quarter late, but shower fresh. Mino was nervous, because this was the first time they met in daylight, and Mino didn’t like it.

 

 

”H-hey.” Mino answered with a trembling voice. Seunghoon just raise his brows, which he always did.

 

”I think we should go somewhere else.”

 

”Ahh…sure.” Seunghoon answered quickly with a disappointed tone. Did he think Mino was able to receive all the looks today, which he avoided everyday?

 

”I know a place, but it’s not near .” Seunghoon continued like covering the disappointment in a second, which didn’t bother Mino.

 

”Where is it then?” Mino wondered but didn’t question it.

 

”You’ll see.” Seunghoon blurted out smiling widely like a child. The boy stood up from his swing, but Mino was still marveling this side of the boy. Mino liked that childish glimmer in the corner of his eyes really much.

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

They had started walking a small but steep forest trail which was in the forest behind the playground. Mino knew where the trail was leading, but he never had managed to walk to the top because the trail leaded to a high hill, where you could from Seunghoon’s house to Mino’s house.

 

He could see from the trail that no one had used it for a long time, because branches were lying on the ground, the trees were growing everywhere and sometimes the trail disappeared and they had to climb up and continue the way up.

 

 

Mino still thought it was relaxing. The noises of the traffic disappeared and he knew, that no one would ever find them.

 

 

 

 

 

They had climbed up in silence, until they reached the top. It was a small grass flat, where a one single tree grew and there were pushes around it and other small trees. They still weren’t really high, because more trees levels were seen further up.

 

 

”You know the way here quite well?” Mino asked curious, because Seunghoon’s clear decisiveness was seen when he decided the path. 

 

”Well yeah… I come here sometimes.” Seunghoon answered unclearly and sat on the ground leaning to the tree. Mino liked the boy’s difference. His interests were so different to Mino, but not weird.

 

 

 

Mino sat next to the boy with a slight distance between them, because he still felt that Seunghoon didn’t want any touching.

 

 

 

”Tell something about yourself.” Mino broke the silence between the leaves’ rustling and the birds’ chirping.

 

”What do you supposedly want to know?” Seunghoon marveled without changing his gaze towards him, it was a good opportunity for Mino to observe the boy’s side profile from up close. Seunghoon probably still thought very modestly about himself. 

 

”Everything.” that serious sounding answer made Seunghoon’s adam’s apple move along with his weak laugh. Seunghoon’s hair were recklessly on his face, which apparently didn’t bug him. 

 

”Ask something.” Seunghoon asked and turned his gaze towards Mino, who automatically turned to look at his shoes’ worn out tips. If Mino was timid about something, it was Seunghoon’s eye contact up close.

 

”Do you like food?” Mino came up with an stupid question, which he laughed at himself.

 

Seunghoon swallowed his laugh, but didn’t stop smiling.

 

”I like seafood and ice-cream.” Seunghoon answered amused and Mino nodded his head. He thought this was amusing too, but Seunghoon played along, so he didn’t care.

 

”Do you like coffee?”

 

 

”Eww, no way.” Seunghoon shrieked and quickly continued without giving Mino a say:”Do you like animals?”

 

”Not really, but reptile’s are cool.”

 

”Eww.” Seunghoon blurted out childishly again, which made Mino smile.

 

”What about….do you like summer?” Seunghoon continued his questioning, which bothered Mino a bit, because he wanted to know more about him.

 

”It’s ok.”

 

”What an boring answer.”

 

”Well let’s say that I like summer break but that’s it.”

 

”Are you here usually the whole summer?” Seunghoon asked without his smile, but if you asked Mino, he could smile more. That question hadn’t crossed Mino’s mind at all, because Mino could not think about how distressing his future was. ing America.

 

 

”Mm yeah, but I’m probably going on a long trip this summer with my dad.”

 

”My family and I travel a lot, but mostly for ballet culture.”

 

”Are you going to dance for me now?” Mino asked with a excited tone, when ballet became the topic. He also wanted this quickly out of the way. Seunghoon turned up his nose as a sign that he didn’t want to, but soon he started to look for something from his phone.

 

”Just a little bit because this is a little embarrassing.” Seunghoon explained and minimized himself and stood up, fined his jeans and handed his phone to Mino, where a song was ready to be played. ’Indila - Love Story’ Mino wanted to remember this song even at home. 

 

Seunghoon took of his grey cardigan, that he only had a white short sleeve on. Mino couldn’t get his eyes off the boy’s collarbones again. Mino also wondered, did Seunghoon always have his ribs showing through his shirt. 

 

”You can press ’play’ now.” Seunghoon informed in a starting position, which already looked difficult to Mino.

 

The song started with a very ballet like piano sound, after that started french singing and it felt like Seunghoon blocked Mino out of his world. He started to bend in the most beautiful and elegant poses his hands with him. The boy’s ankles bent symmetrically in the rhythm and he even did a few pirouettes. Mino didn’t know anything about ballet, but he was surprised of Seunghoon’s skills. His head, body and feet moved in the same pace and he was like in the same package the whole time.

 

 

 

Seunghoon apparently didn’t want to dance for long, when he stopped in the middle of the song and a small redness on his face, he smiled embarrassed. It was sweet. However, Mino stared at him his mouth slightly open.

 

”You are good.” was the weakest compliment, which Mino could have gave, but he said it. Seunghoon just smiled to him with his familiar and innocent smile.

 

The moment was ruined when Mino felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

 

 

Mino had a strange feeling in his throat and felt sick when he saw the name in the phone’s screen. It was his dad.

 

 

 

”Yeah.”

 

 

”Home, now.”

 

 

And the call ended to those words.

 

 

Seunghoon looked at him disappointed and nodding his head. He had probably heard Mino’s dad’s words through the phone.

 

”I…umm…have to go.” Mino started to explain nervously, but Seunghoon nodded his head acknowledging. At that moment Mino just wanted to be brave and yell at the world, that he just wanted to be with Seunghoon, and that they should be left alone. But a part of Mino wanted Seunghoon to hate him again so this didn’t need to be so difficult.

 

Seeing his dad made him nervous enough and that, that he wanted to stay with Seunghoon, but he couldn’t say it out loud.

 

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

He stepped carefully inside the house, which exuded negative energy. Mino started walking towards his dad’s office and there he was sitting his forehead wrinkled staring at the computer screen. His dad turned to look at him already looking mad.

 

 

 

”We have something to talk about.” he started appropriately, but Mino knew he would be yelling after couple of minutes.

 

”Yes we have.”

 

”First, I want to know that why do you have so many absences from your classes?”

 

Mino tried to get an explanation from his mouth, but he didn’t think of anything. Disappointment and cockiness was heard from his dad’s tone.

 

”Indeed. Second, how much do you have left from the amount of money I left you?”

 

”Nothing….” Mino sighted submissively while looking at the ground. His dad didn’t rage at him often, but now that he returned from his trip he seemed like explosive.

 

”I left you 115,000 won and I was gone for a week!”

 

 

”Thridly, I want to know what’s this thing with Gunhee.”

 

”What thing?” Mino asked raising his eyebrow and raising his tone threateningly, which his dad didn’t like.

 

”That thing that the boy is here on a holiday and is on weaning period and he comes home at night, drunk, his backpack full of cigarettes and cannabis.”

 

Mino was now speechless and felt a strike in his conscience. Had Gunhee really got himself cannabis? Mino had really thought the boy was fine. Mino had failed - again.

 

”Which one of us is going to explain then when the boy sees illusions again and pumps into walls?”

 

”I-I di-didn’t know.” Mino stuttered and started to be afraid of his dad again, who’s face were reddish, like he could hit him.

 

”You are lying.” his dad blurted out coldly squeezing his fist on his lap.

 

”No I’m not!” Mino shouted now a little bit angry and taking one step forwards his dad stood up from his chair and hit him on the already sensitive cheek.

 

 

It hurt hundred times more than the bar fight yesterday. Not that, that his dad is a strong man, but because he felt like he was hit mentally too and leaving emptiness inside him. The hit wasn’t any beating up but a childish slap on the cheek. He felt like his own dad wasn’t there at all.

 

 

”You are grounded until we move. I hope America will give you a new opportunity.”

 

 

 

His dad kicked and hit him mentally deeper to the hole, which literally broke Mino, but he didn’t feel like crying. He constantly changed his sadness into anger. Hating was easier than kicking your feet and crying on the bed.

 

Holding his cheek which was sensitive from the slap Mino settled for his defeat and walked - almost ran, to his own room full of oversized hate and disappointment - also towards himself.

 

 

 

Mino lain on his bed staring at the ceiling and trying to sort out his thoughts, but no, he always came to the same final decision. 

 

He hated his dad almost as much he hated himself and that, that he just would have to endure this treatment somewhere in America. It felt stupid anyway in Mino’s mind that they were moving to America after his dad’ work, and Mino didn’t even know what his dad was doing for a living.

 

 

Gunhee still wasn’t home so he probably was still hanging out with Mino’s friends and Mino wasn’t able to not think about, that he didn’t like it.

 

Seunghoon felt like becoming too close to him, but Mino didn’t ever want that to be took away from him - and he would make sure that it would stay like this.

 

 

All this time in his room Mino hadn’t noticed, that he had scratched open the scars from his cutting and had fell asleep in the bloody sheets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mino woke up in the morning to his dad’s loud morning chores. He felt like he hadn’t slept all night, because couldn’t open his eyes, but when he managed to open his eyes, he saw his left arm covered with dried blood and his sheets in some places like dunk in blood. It didn’t scare the boy, but that, that he didn’t remember that he had scratched his right arm’s scars or that there were a couple new cuts on his hands. It worried him a little.

 

 

Without even glancing at the clock, Mino started to take of his sheets and walked to the bathroom to put them in the laundry basket and forgot the tiredness completely.

 

His dad looked at him from the kitchen critically sipping his coffee and asked:”Why are you up at this time?”

 

”What’s the time then?”

 

”Five at morning.”

 

It definitely didn’t feel like it for Mino, which made him shake his head even more. What was was wrong with him? He really felt like he had started to lose his grip from his life. He hadn’t even touched his instruments for many days. He felt like losing energy day after day more and more.

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

 

It was Friday and it would be the weekend soon. The whole school’s essence screamed the weekend, but Mino didn’t know how to be excited. And he hadn’t heard about any parties, even though he was usually the first one to hear about them. Mino felt like there was something really weird about this.

 

”Mino!” Bobby waved his hand in a group of people, where Chanyong and Sangwoo were apparently in. Mino took the hood off his head and keeping his hair on his forehead covering the half of his sight, but that was the purpose.

 

”Hey.” Mino said to the group, which consisted of everyone who where at his birthday party and everyone were now looking at him.

 

”Had fun at your birthday?” Donghyuk annoyed him while smirking. He probably didn’t how annoying he really was.

 

”Yeah, if I could even remember what happened.” Mino gave them a really Mino-like answer, which made few people in the group laugh.

 

”Yeah, I would like to apologize about that fighting scene, because I really don’t know why did that guy get so mad.” Chanyong said to Mino disgustingly fake, but the others of course believed his apology. Mino hoped he could hit the boy right now right here, but nodded his head as casually as possible.

 

”The some of the bruises will probably last until next year.” Mino blurted out and cursed Chanyong inside of his mind so much, that it was probably heard in his tone.

 

”I heard you were at school yesterday?” Junhoe asked confused like it was obvious that you didn’t have to go to school.

 

”Dad came home.”

 

”Really?” the whole group wondered, but in some way it felt half serious. Gunhee had probably already told them.

 

Suddenly he felt a hand landing on his shoulder like coming to save Mino from this unpleasant situation. He turned to look, how Taehyun stared at him with his dark eyes concerned. 

 

Would this be the moment Mino would get answers?

 

”I have to talk to you.” Taehyun stated with a tone, that sounded like he should listen to him. Like a curtain of suspicion was revealed and everyone’s glances were uncovered in that group.

 

They looked either disgusted or suspicious at them, when Taehyun left Mino following him outside. Now Mino knew his suspicions were right.

 

There weren’t anyone outside, because the classes had just started. Taehyun didn’t look like he would be ready to talk about calm things at all, which was a little concerning, because he was always so appropriate and calm.

 

”Do you have anything to tell me?” Taehyun asked with an strict expression. This conversation didn’t start off nicely..

 

”About what?” Mino’s question made Taehyun restless and he started walking in circles like trying to stay in his right mind.

 

”You know what this is about.” Taehyun answered, which made Mino realize immediately. Mino was scared and his mouth felt dry, when he tried to say something out loud.

 

”Seunghoon.” his whole body froze and he finally managed to breathe out the name. Now he was really scared, because he felt like he wasn’t welcome anywhere anymore.

 

”Yes.”

 

”How many knows?”

 

”Quite many, but they don’t want to let you get away so easily with gossiping about your friendship.” Taehyun explained, but Mino just stood there staring at the nothingness. It was certain now, someone who had read the message or messages and had told everyone. What would happen now?

 

”They want you to suffer.” Taehyun added, which was obvious and he now stopped to look at him.

 

”So they are quiet about this for now?”

 

”Yes, but I feel like they will figure out something bad.” Mino didn’t doubt Taehyun’s answer at all.

 

”What do you think?”

 

”About what?”

 

”That I have been seeing Seunghoon.”

 

”It’s weird, but that’s your business.”

 

”What does Bobby think?”

 

”I’ll not say anything about that.”

 

A small disappointment hit Mino, because Bobby and Taehyun were his closest friends and he couldn’t expect, that they would be understanding after all the laughing and sneering at Seunghoon. 

 

”I don’t know what to say.”

 

”You don’t have to say anything, but be careful of what they’ll do.” Taehyun warned and their glances met for the first time now during the conversation. Mino just wanted to admit, that he was scared - not just because of this situation but because of this whole life situation, but he couldn’t do it.

 

Mino nodded wistfully at Taehyun, who walked inside, but MIno couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t move, because the fear felt like it made his eyes tear in a long time.

 

 

 

 

Mino was at that downhill right now, that he wanted to avoid in every way.

 

 

 

 

Everything would go down now.

 

 

 

 

________________________

 

hey! So the chapter six

is finally here! ^^

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