It was a normal schoolday. Song Mino had slept in and in a hurry he put on his tight black jeans and buttoned his shirt while brushing his teeth. This happened often, which was because of the boy staying up late. His black hair was messily on his forehead, so he grabbed a snapback from his messy rooms floor and squeezed his hair inside of it. He spitted quickly to the sink and patted some face cream on his face. In the mirror he sees a failure, but everyone thought he was a tough guy, because he failed classes, slept in every morning, cursed to the teachers and smoked on breaks. He knew, that he had lots of absences and delays, and that he should avoid them. After winter, he had failed a few classes already and skipped some classes. High school wasn’t his thing, but he had no choice.

 

 

”Did you sleep in again?” his dad said with a cigarette husky voice and came to the door his dark eyebrows curved angrily, which scared Mino who just reached the doorknob.

 

”I still can make it to the class in time.” Mino defended himself with lies and avoided eye contact. He always felt so uncomfortable around his dad.

 

”Remember son, that if you don’t graduate in time, you will get out of this house” his dad warned him with a deep voice, which would have made a little girl cry. But Mino was used to it - kind of.

 

”Yes” he answered and bowed slightly to his dad. He knew very well, that if he wouldn’t behave like this, his dad would get even more mad. His dad just watched and nagged, he did nothing else and had not done in couple years. 

 

Mino pulled himself together and threw his undone homework filled backpack on his back, while he started hurry outside from the quiet house hungry and tired.

 

 

 

 

He stepped in spring’s still tired and gloomy nature. The sun was shining somewhere behind those gray clouds and and it was cold - but so was Mino. He pressed his snapback even deeper on his head and hided his freezing hands in his jeans’ front pockets. His normal state of matter, only a cigarette was missing. He sighted deeply and started walking towards the school like always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

”Hugeboy!” his over energetic and little dorky friend Bobby exclaimed on a crowded hallway after class, when Mino was sitting on a bench as not having strength going to the first class. Bobby hurried to him his jeans hanging again very low exposing maybe one or two centimeters of his boxers and his hoodie was maybe couple sizes too big. Mino yawned and waved his hand to Bobby, who’s eyes cutely were like the shape of a sickle when he smiled. Bobby had maybe the most handsome jawline Mino had ever seen in his life. It was so sharp, that they sometimes joked, that you could slit something with it.

 

”Do you have cigarettes?” Bobby asked while sitting beside him and started to dig his wallet from his jeans’ pocket. Of course he had, he had promised to get Bobby always cigarettes, if in return he would get him snuff. Mino was half proud of his role, but on the other hand he did this because he was weak.

 

”Sure, of course! How many?” Mino asked innocently when he opened his backpack, so Bobby would see 5 cartons of green Malbourne among his homework books. Bobby’s calm expression changed in a second and he started giggling. Mino really though that Bobby was a good guy, because they had so much in common; snuff, cigarettes, rapping, skipping classes.

 

”I like you so much” Mino gave a laugh and answered to Bobby: ”Me too, where’s my snuff?”. Couple of girls who were walking past them turned to look at them when they overheard their conversation. It made the boys smile every time.

 

Bobby digged three snuffboxes from his backpack and threw them to Mino quickly and took three cigarette cartons to his backpack.

 

”What class do we have next?” Mino asked Bobby while they were paying each other.

 

”Umm… History? But didn’t you fail history?”

 

”Not yet, I failed biology, maths and —” his words froze and were cut off when he watched, when the schools biggest harried walked on the hallway and maybe the Korea’s most cruel bullying gang walked towards him. The boy was longer than normal and he had Bobby’s eyes, but more feminine. He dressed quite the same everyday; some weather fitting relevant light-colored shirt always tucked inside his pants. 

From this sight the whole hallway froze and became silent.

 

”Showtime.” Bobby blurted out expressionless and emotionless. This too connected him and Bobby, neither of them knew how to react to the bullying at all. They didn’t feel sympathy, which they could use for the benefit and defend the boy.

 

There were 5 bullies and one of them was one of Mino’s friends. On of them poked the head drooped boy, who’s name no one remembered, expect the teachers.

 

”Show us a few pirouettes” the black haired, tall and broad-shouldered Chanyoung blurted with a smile really irritatingly. Mino didn’t even feel like watching, because this was already so familiar and heartbreaking sight. He peeked at Bobby who seemed like leaving.

 

”Let’s go to class” Bobby said calmly as he stoop up and it was heard, how the boy was threw violently into the metallic lockers followed with laughter and Mino followed Bobby without watching behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next class, but Mino’s first, was history and right when they stepped into the classroom, the teacher made it really clear that during this week they would be doing a pair-project.

 

”Hanbin!” Bobby greeted loudly their friend, who came to the same classroom as them. Mino waved his hand to him and Hanbin smiled widely with his big eyes, that looked sometimes like he was lost, which was adorable. Hanbin was the most fashionable and the most handsome among them, he dressed in ripped jeans and sweaters. He had straight dark eyebrows and thick lips. And one thing connected them all. 

 

 

 

”We have a busy schedule, so even the class’ slowest could do this pair-project, so let’s start..” their female teacher about forty-five years old, gray haired, spectacled and short Mrs. Kim announced in front the class and took a hat.

 

”, we are going to raffle the pairs.” Bobby cursed next to him quietly, which amused Mino, because Bobby seriously had the most worst luck.

 

”You could be Seunghoon’s pair.” Hanbin gave a laugh at Bobby, but Mino and Bobby didn’t get the joke.

 

”Who is he?” Bobby asked astonished and Hanbin’s smile died. 

 

”That boy who always gets bullied, he is in the same history class as us.” Hanbin explained almost whispering and looked at the boys judging their dumbness.

 

Mino and Bobby looked at each other first shocked, but quietly bursted into laughter because they hadn’t realized it earlier. At the same time Hanbin slammed gently his palm to his forehead and sighted.

 

”Well after all, the semester has only lasted two thirds.” Bobby laughed teeth showing with sickle looking eyes.

 

”Bobby and Hanbin.” the teacher announced suddenly, and all three astonished turned their attention towards the teacher. Their confusion could probably be seen from their faces.

 

”You are a pair.” Mrs. Kim announced while she swayed two paper pieces in her hands.

 

”Awhh yeah.” Bobby smiled relieved as the same time he threw a high-five with Hanbin. Mino was a little disappointed, but he knew that he would at least get along with three out of twenty who attended this course.

 

At the same time someone knocked the door and the class silenced immediately. Everyone probably knew who would come. A fragile and quiet voice apologized for him being late and the teacher didn’t say anything. The reason became clear to them all, when the boy walked into the classroom. He had a bad looking mark on his cheek, like a big dog had swept with its nails. Three deep cuts… Everyone were probably thinking, how was those cuts done. They were so neat and straight and the blood had dried around the cuts.

 

The teacher had her head somewhere in the clouds, until she returned back to reality and put her hand back in the hat. Her smile was long gone and she knew she couldn’t do anything about it - no one could. No one was brave enough. If the students were scolded about not getting involved with bullying, the adults were a lot more hopeless.

Everyone looked at the boy walking towards his desk and he was limping. How he standed this? Mino dimly remembered the boy from junior high school, but he remembered he was in the same class as him - bullied.

 

Yunheong and Chanwoo

Soohyun and Sandara 

Jinhwan and Junhoe

Bom and Taehyun

Hi and Donghyuk

 

It was only three pairs left to form and Mino had a bad feeling, that today wasn’t going to be his lucky day. He leaned with his elbows on the school desk and probably seemed really disappointed, because he had to pass this course meaning that this project needed to succeed.

 

Seunghoon and Mino

 

In a second everyone in the class started turning their heads and Mino just smiled annoyed, when Bobby patted his back almost laughing and enjoying his friends disappointment. Imperceptibly Mino looked in the direction of his partner, who sat one row closer to the board and completely in the right corner. He just sat there and looked at his desk, but probably not many noticed that he was squeezing his hands under his desk.

 

 

—

 

 

 

”Go in pairs around the school’s hallway or go to the library to plan your division of work for your project. Let’s meet here in 45 minutes.” the teacher informed when she passed out all the papers and topics. Everyone stood up quickly and went for a smoke, to the store or actually to plan this project. Mino sighted deeply again when he stood up from his chair with notes in his hands. Would working with him work out at all. Seunghoon stood up and walked out of the classroom, without even glancing at Mino.

 

Mino followed him and stood two meters away from him in the hallway, when the boy stared at the floor with hands in his pockets, like he was waiting, for Mino to hit him. He was going to talk to him for the first time in three years. 

 

”Let’s go outside.” Mino suggested in the silence his deep voice shivering a bit. The boy almost nodded and started limping after Mino.

 

 

—

 

 

 

There they were sitting. In the schoolyard’s most distant bench under the trees. The chilliness was refreshing. From the bench you could see the three-layer white-bricked school building with a huge clock on the wall. The wind blowed the other boy’s hair lightly.

 

The boy read the papers their teacher gave to them again and again. His dark eyes moved from the paper’s corner to corner. For the first time ever, Mino wasn’t brave enough to speak. He grabbed a cigarette from his pocket and lighted it. For the first time Seunghoon turned his head towards Mino, but didn’t say anything. His eyes expressionless just watched the cigarette and Mino.

 

”Does in bother you?” Mino asked fast as lightning as he put down his cigarette, but Seunghoon shaked his head and watched at the paper again. Mino wanted to hear Seunghoon voice, so he decided to play with the fire.

 

”What was our project’s topic?”

 

The boy froze and looked like he stopped breathing for a moment.

 

”History of the symbols.” his fragile, but decently deep voice answered and continued breathing. Mino nodded and breathed in his cigarette.

 

 

They spent 40 minutes like this. Mino occasionally asked something, and Seunghoon answered more and more tenderly. If Mino tried to get closer to look at the boy’s notes, he could feel the boy’s uneasiness, but the boy didn’t say anything. Mino always draw back.

 

The light haired had already done a lot of notes and Mino just had smoked half of his cigarettes while panicking, what if, someone saw them together. ’How selfish..’ he though to himself.

 

”Erm… Is there something I could do?” Mino asked carefully while biting his lower lip and tried to smile, but failed. His smile rose maybe too mils, but Seunghoon stayed to look at him a little longer. Now Mino started to study the boy’s face properly like he probably was doing too. He had really pretty high cheekbones and a petite nose. However he liked his pink curved lips the most.

 

”Write about saint’s symbol” Mino woke up from his thoughts and he even was embarrassed, how he noticed even the most unnecessary things.

 

”What are you writing about?”

 

”About everything else”

 

Mino raised his eyebrows for him under his snapback, but Seunghoon didn’t react but just gazed at him. Was he really that sincere? Mino couldn’t get the thought, that Seunghoon thought he was bad, away from his head. 

 

”Are you sure? Could we for example see after school tomorrow and do this together?” Mino startled himself with his own suggestion. Was he serious?

 

”I can’t” Seunghoon answered coldly, which paralyzed Mino, but he didn’t want to give up. The boy was changing his attention back to the notes, but Mino didn’t. He had to get a good grade from this project, whatever Seunghoon wanted it or not.

 

 

”Today?”

 

 

”Sure…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

 

The time was probably quarter to four, when the school ended, but for Seunghoon it took fifteen more minutes to get out of the school. When Mino walked from his last lesson, he saw how they surrounded Seunghoon again. It scratched his heart like a match for the first time, but the flame didn’t combust.

Mino was afraid the boy would make eye contact with him, so he just walked past while watching ahead. It hurted a little, but how could it, because he had walked past these situations for the past three years.

 

He stepped out of school and tried to stay natural-looking ten feet away from the school, in the parking lot for a smoke. Someone who attended the same history class as him, glared at him and then whispered something to his friend.

Frustrating.

He looked around him a lot, as the last scooters  and motorcycles slowly disappeared from the yard. And there he was - waiting, and the time was already five past four. Still the sun wasn’t shining and the nature was grey. A few teachers glared at him strangely, when Song Mino was still standing on the school yard. While biting his lip, he sat down on a huge rock near the parking lot and dig up his phone. There was a lot of messaged from many group chats, which he usually read at home.

 

Suddenly he heard steps coming from the school, but it was only one of the bullies - platinum blonde Sangwoo, whose brown eyes always looked equally sad. Sangwoo was a really boring guy, but did boxing. The reason, why Mino thought he was scary.. To Mino’s surprise Sangwoo raised his chin as a greeting and he did the same. Mino felt something weird about the situation, but stayed still while looking when the other boys flowed too from the school building while talking loudly to each other and demonstrating the knocks with their hands.

 

”Dude, did you see my hook?”

”Yeah, oh damn”

”Did you see his face?”

”Next time I’ll certainly get him apologize on his knees”

 

Mino’s head started to slouch and he put his phone away. He just wanted to do one ing schoolwork and those boys had to ruin it for him. Soon they’ll beat him up too, if they knew, that he was waiting for him… He put his hands in his leather jacket and watched coldly as the boys walked away, until he heard slow steps on the asphalt. He turned sharply his attention to the tired, tall and unsteadily walking boy, who had blood on his cheek and shirt’s collar from his bleeding nose. This time though, he managed to get his black fur hooded jacket with him. Mino really didn’t know, how was he supposed to react to this. He just watched mouth open, how serious damage the boys had done to him. He didn’t even dare to ask, if everything was fine, because Mino had already known for three years, that that wasn’t okay.

 

Seunghoon realized only when he was five meters away from Mino, that the boy had actually stayed to wait for him. He started wiping the blood from his still bleeding nose like crazy.

 

”What are you doing?” Seunghoon asked melancholically and considered Mino’s action strange. He frowned his eyebrows while glaring at Mino heavily. At that moment Mino almost froze.

 

”I… umm..” Mino started awkwardly and changed his weight of one foot to another tensely :”I though, that we’d actually go to the library.” Seunghoon was still looking with his cute and bloodstained face at him heavily, but swiftly pulled his mouth in a line and relaxed his face as he looked away.

 

”You don’t seem to have any discretion.” he sighted , which explained to Mino swiftly and very clearly the probable reason, why Seunghoon was bullied. He hasn’t broke down completely. He was a challenge to the bullies. Mino looked with his bigger eyes at him and felt bad about himself.

 

”Not really.. Look, we don’t have to do this project today..”

 

”Well let’s go now, since you even waited.” Seunghoon answered sharply, even though he didn’t seem really interested. Mino wondered largely the boy’s actions, if he was afraid of Mino, why was he so cooperative? He clearly knew, that Seunghoon was actually a really big mystery to solve.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

They had walked the library’s sidetracks, silently, and Seunghoon didn’t seem to be hurt by peoples avoiding. They both probably knew really well, that what this could be followed by. And they both really didn’t feel anything for each other, that they’d take the risk of being caught.

Seunghoon had walked straight to the bathroom to clean up his cuts, when meanwhile Mino walked  to the gigantic and window filled library without seeing anyone familiar. The situation kept Mino’s heart rate high, because he had an image to take care of. The library lady sneered at him and Mino immediately thought, it was because he smelled like cigarettes and walked in a bad posture. That’s what all people saw in him first.

Mino saw only old people in the library and sat down on a lonely table which was behind a three meter high magazine reck, which was almost like made for them - for hiding. He sat down without taking his jacket off and put his legs on the table expecting, that Seunghoon would find him. Meantime he reached his hand towards the magazine rack and grabbed the first magazine he managed the get and covered his face with it from the window nex to him.

 

 

Without saying anything Seunghoon suddenly sat the opposite of him.

 

”Aren’t you exaggerating?” Seunghoon asked firmly as he took his jacket off and took the notes out of his backpack. Mino slowly lowered the magazine still not even glancing, what magazine it was. He didn’t know how to answer to the boy, because he thought that he just had that kind of a humor, but Mino felt even more bad about his behavior.

 

”I didn’t know you were interested about gardens.” The boy continued his funny joking, but this time Mino reacted and turned to look at the magazine’s cover ”The most beautiful gardens of 2014”. A wide smile increased on his lips with a laugh, but Seunghoon just glared at his eyes tenderly for a moment. It made Mino to pull his mouth in a line and put down the magazine.

 

”The only green thing for me is money.” Mino blurted out a line straight from a movie, which’s name he didn’t remember. Seunghoon just nodded with a familiar heaviness and wariness on his attitude. He probably thought, that Mino was serious.

 

”So you want a good grade from this project?” the boy asked as he lifted his gaze towards Mino and now Mino concentrated, how he had tried to tidy up his wounds. He still had blood on his collar, the cuts still looked fresh and deep and his nose was so red that it’ll probably form a bruise.

 

”Well yeah.” Mino woke himself from his thoughts, when he realized that he had stared the boy probably for too long.

 

”Maybe I’ll go find some books.” Seunghoon sighted as he left the table. It was seen from Seunghoon’s behavior, that he visited here often.

It was probably gloving from Mino’s essence, that he’ll get lost in the library or something like that. So he waited and read his garden magazine.

 

 

 

It didn’t take long, when Seunghoon came back with a pile of books and Mino lowered his garden magazine again and also his legs from the table. However the blonde’s expression told, that he had something to say, which made Mino worried instantly. Was someone in the library? The boy’s hands were still holding the pile of books, but they were shaking.

 

”I want to make one thing clear..”

 

 

 

”When this project is done I want you to leave me alone.” Seunghoon raised his distraught and amazed glance towards the black haired boy who just started at him.

 

 

 

He was really afraid of Mino.

 

”Yeah..” was the only thing he managed to say, but it didn’t sound convincing at all. He was nearly shocked, that Seunghoon hold so much fear inside him. But why was he afraid? Perhaps Mino will never have the courage to ask.

 

They were still staring at each other’s eyes and Seunghoon’s eyes shined like he had tears in his eyes, but he was just afraid. His glance was like he tried to look inside Mino. It even made him nervous. He nodded as a reply and cut off the eye contact as he sat down without looking at Mino’s direction at all for an hour.

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

The only things they talked about, were related to this project. But at times Mino’s thoughts fled to think, why did Seunghoon say that. What kind of prejudices he had? 

They walked to different direction without any goodbye’s after an hour, without talking about the next meeting. They were just doing a project together, there was no and couldn’t be any friendship. Hardly Mino wanted it, rather a explanation. (The library visit, fortunately, wasn’t useless)

 

Mino was walking home and the sun still wasn’t risen. Wearing a jacket in spring because it was cold, was quite new. He walked a lonely path home, which was surrounded by trees without any leaves. Everything in the nature was so unfinished. He started to hum out loud, as he lighted a cigarette cosily, but without getting Seunghoon out of his mind. The boy’s unsure, but weirdly confident essence was something so weird, that he didn’t know how to deal with it yet. The most annoying thing was, that he couldn’t get the boy out of his mind.

Suddenly his phone vibrated in his pocket and the caller name ’Junhoe’ appeared on his phone screen.

 

”Yuup.” he mumbled and he heard noise on the other end of the call.

 

”Hugeboy, where you at?” Junhoe asked with his husky voice almost yelling through the noise.

 

”Going home.”

 

”At this time, from where?” Junhoe’s annoyingly curious voice asked.

 

Mino startledly watched at his phone’s clock, quarter past six. His muscles tensed up, when he thinked, what to say. Quickly he used his imagination.

 

”Well yeah, I went to the grocery store.”

 

”Come with me and Double B to drive around.”

 

Luckily, it’s very easy to lie to Junhoe and Mino sighted quietly in relief.

 

”Aah.. okay, where are you?”

 

”Still at Bobby’s place.”

 

”I’ll come at seven.” Mino raised his voice, when the noise was almost unbearable on the other end of the call.

 

” I ALMOST GOALED”

 

”Yeah, see ya, bye.”

 

”Bye.”

 

 

—

 

 

He managed finally to get Seunghoon out of his mind when he drove the same familiar route in the neighborhood with the boys with his dark blue Yamaha DT 50 X. When he came home at nine, his dad was on a night shift, so he was peacefully on his computer and his instruments composing till late at night without even thinking about homework. He drowned his thoughts into music and a dream, which he never tried to achieve.

 

 

This is how he actually spent his days, but Seunghoon mixed his thoughts.