If only you, would know me better,
If only you, would listen better,
If only you, would see me better,
If only you, would hear me better,
Set me free, before you press delete

If only you, could see that I'm burning,
if only you would know how I'm hurting, all for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A whole week has passed since my shameful situation in class with Kim seungsaeng-nim. Although I kept sleeping in class, he didn't bother talking or shouting at me.

I didn't feel any better, though, but I felt like I was forgetting my love for him or just ignoring it. Baekie and Soo tried always to help me in that, and I was so grateful for them, of course.

My friends and I had to meet each other in the central park, as always, in the weekends. However, I had another important duty which was taking care of my oppa as he was really sick today. 

I waked up early and typed a message to Sohyun and Baekhyun to apologize for not coming:

Me:Sorry guys, but oppa is sick as a horse and I have to take good care of him. I won't be able to join you later today, but I'll see you tomorrow in school.

Sohyun:Ohh~ bad news. It's okay, Jiji. Just make sure oppa will be okay, and send him my greetings and my '' get well soon'' wish. Later.

Baekhyun:Yeah, we understand. Be a good nurce for him, Eunji-yah.

Me:Alright friends. Thanks for understanding.

I felt like I needed to be the housekeeper today, and although I hate housework, I wanted to do it all this time.

I started with making samp for oppa, and it took almost an hour to have a bowl of it only. Oppa liked it so much, though.

He also wanted me to leave everything and just sit beside him, but I refused, of course, and said that he had to get some sleep. I was glad that he finally agreed, so I closed his room's door and started planning my to-do list.

I went to the kitchen that I ruined by cooking that small bowl of samp. With no hesitation, I started washing the dishes and tidying up kitchen's cabinet and ware.
 
Then I moved to my bed room and tided it up carefully. I swept the floor of the bedrooms and the living room. For the bathroom, I left it to the end as I wanted to do laundry first.
 
After two hours and half, I've done my work and have totally  been done in. I started to feel really sorry for oppa as I put myself in his shoes. Therefore, I promised myself to help him whenever I am free in the future. 

I got a sneaky peek at my oppa in his room, and I found him deeply sleeping. However, when I was going out, he called my name with close eyes which made me almost pee on my pants of fear. 

Gazing at him angrily, I scolded,''Oppa~ you are really bad. What if I died of fear? Would you be happy?''

He laughed hysterically and almost shed tears. Seeing him like that made me extremely joyful, and I even forgot all about his annoying deed before some seconds.

After cutting his laugh, he asked me to sit on the bed beside him, and I obeyed with a grin. 

''Do I have to tell you a story? It looks like you are sleepless, my lovely baby.''I touched his hair fondly as a loving mother, and he seemed to like it very much.

''I hope that I had a mother like you, Eunji-yah^^''Oppa smiled sadly at my face, so I decided to make fun of it so that oppa would forget his saddness.

I held his warm hand and hugged it between my palms then acted as a worried mother,''Aigoo, my kid is really sick. Oh, my God, please help him. Aigoo, my sweet and lovely son; what should I do?'' 

I knew he liked it, but he stopped me to take back his control by saying,''You should do your homework now, young lady.''

''Uhh, that little brat! How do you call your mother ''young lady''? Aigoo, Aigoo, I have to punish you.'' I completed acting with a scolding frown on my face.

''Go and do your homework, or I will get really angry.'' That sounded so firm.

Therefore, I acted cutely and whined,''Oppa, let me sit here till you fall asleep, please.'' Am sure that he couldn't resist it, and that's why he agreed after I promised him that I'll leave to do my school stuff once he sleeps.

I kept holding his hand and started chattering,''Do you know something, oppa? Although I really want to meet my real parents and ask them why they left me, I am the happiest girl in the world to have you, oppa, beside me. If I ever met them, I would just ask that question and then come back to you.''
 
He hummed with sad eyes, so I scolded him,''I am not sad, so don't show me these eyes.''

''My parents left so early. They worked really hard, but they end up dying in a traffic accident. I know how it hurts...but I just cannot do anything.

'' H

is eyes told his saddness, and his words indirectly showed his anger.

''Sorrow shared is sorrow halved, oppa, so don't ever keep things in your chest to burn you alone. I am old enough now for you to lean on.'' I stated seriously as my heart was distressed seeing him like that.

He wiped away that gloomy facial expressions and looked really annoyed. He then chided me by saying,'' You are annoying! Who said that I ever want somebody to lean on~ You are my kid and my resposibility, so hush it up and go do your homework.''

I got really irritated and went out with a flounce before banging the door. After only few seconds, I sneaked my head in- through the door- and said quietly in a regretful tone,'' Oppa~~ I am really sorry, but can I bring my things and do my homework here in your room? You know that I hate to be alone.''

'' Do whatever you want~'', he said with closed eyes and a ''never mind'' tone.

Therefore, I rushed towards my room, brought my school bag, and entered his room banging the door for the second time.

I chuckled when I saw his startled face, and then I approached him leaving a peck on his forehead with my warning words,''Never whatever me~'' 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her loving soft gaze has followed me and me only. She and I were walking down the spacious green fields hand in hand. I could only see my small chubby hands, and they,surprisingly, were even smaller just like a little kid's ones.

We didn't utter a single word but laughed away with no reason as we strolled around. Then all of sudden, I heard a weird tone coming from my drawer as I found myself lying down on my bed in my room.

I picked up the weird man's mobile, which seemed to be the sourse of the sound, worringly. A message peeped on the screen and I read it with a trembling voice,''It really hurts, doesn't it?'' 

TRRRRRRRRRNN~ alarm sound.
I waked up due to the annoying alarm sound, but I was thankful for it today. It saved me from that weird scary dream, or to be more accurate, it was a horrible nightmare. 

Things that I've seen in it were mixed up in my mind; I mean, that beautiful woman, my small hands, and then that message.

''Uhhh~ thanks God it was just a dream.'' I sighed deeply then whispered,'' What is that? It is so confusing.''

Oppa entered my room with a worried face asking inquiringly,'' Ohh~~ what's with your sweaty forehead? Are you sick?'' He laid his hand on my forehead and my cheeks gazing softly at my eyes.

I remembered that strange lady of my dream, so I asked him with a weak tone,''Oppa~ have you ever had a girlfriend? Was she pretty? Did she love me? Have I seen her? Tell me please.''

He left of touching my face and wondered,''Why are you asking that now?'' 

I started explaining,''I've just seen a lovely woman in my dream; she seemed really pretty, and she kept gazing at me just as you do now~ and she....-'' 

He cut my words and looked low spirited when saying,''Yeah~ I had a lover long before when you were young. She stayed with me to raise you up, but then we just broke up. Her picture remained in your memory, probably, so that's why you've seen her. Get up and get ready for school now.''

''Why...did you broke up?'' These words were suddenly released out of my mouth. Although I disapproved them, I deelpy inside wanted to know his answer.

A pregnant silence took place between us. Then he faced me by saying with a hurt tone,''Because I loved someone else.''

That completely hushed me, so he found his chance to leave. 
I was content, after all, as he clarified that woman matter for me. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In school, things were the same except for some new bothersome news.

''Uhhh~ I can't believe that Kim boring-nim is going to be in charge of this anticipated school trip. I hate it~'' Sohyun acknowledged after huffing .

''Just don't bother yourself because of him. Kim seungsaeng-nim or any other teacher... that doesn't matter at all.'' Baekhyn stated as he leaped out from nowhere.

We both flinched and scolded him, but he berated back,'' Soo's voice is so loud that probably the whole school heard it.''

After calming ourselves down, Baekhyun said looking at my frowning face,''You look confused, Ji. What's up?''

''I am going to ask him to delete my name from that list. Sorry guys, but am not going to join you in this trip.'' I stated firmly and they bacame shocked.

Soo scolded me,''Whyyy? We enrolled our names for it since days, and now you are going to give up this rare chance just because of that teacher?''

''You don't understand~ I have to do that, or oppa will get angry as I may fall....''

She cut my words angrily and said,''Don't make excuses... then thanks for making my day even worse.'' Then she left.

''let her alone now~ she will understand later...'' Baekhyun stated before leaving me alone there, too.

I dashingly walked to teachers' room and rushed towards Kim seungsaeng-nim when I found him working in his office. 

''Could you please delete my name from the list of the school trip? I don't feel like going, especially that you are....''

I stopped talking as he stated after doing something through his computer,''Done~ anything else?''

His look seemed too irritating for me to handle; I noticed that he is trying to make me hate him so much, and I thought that he succeeded. He then got back to look at the computer screen, so I got really angry.

Impetuously, I kicked his office table strongly, and hopefully there was nobody other than him and I.

He stood up, gave me a scary glare and then said,'' Do you know what you have done now, Eunji?''

I started to regret my boyish deed but pretended the opposite, so he turned to be extremely mad when shouting,''This is not your 

house where you can fool around like a little impolite kid, understand?''

My heart statrted to beat rapidly, and the tears gathered in my eyes ready to go out.

''What's going on? Why aren't you in the teachers' meating mr.Kim?'' A known voice appeared beyond my back, and I didn't need to turn my head to know its owner, the school principal.

''I am sorry mr.Cha, but I think we need to call this student's parents first. She acted impolitely towards me, her teacher.'' Kim seungsaeng-nim acknowledged firmly without looking at me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

''To what extent are you going in this trifle, Jung Eunji? You are making me speechless.'' Oppa stated these words as he was so furious. 

''You should listen to me before shouting at my damn face. I've done all that because of you. You wanted me to stop loving that man, and I decided not to go to that stupid trip so that I won't face him for a whole day and fall for him again. You are so selfish to ask me to do it with no single reason. He is even younger than you, so why can't I love him. Tell me, why living with you is so normal while loving my teacher is forbidden? You adopted me, but you don't have a wife, so I can't call you appa. Even my friends in school find it weird that I am living with a single father. Sohyun's parents can't accept me as a friend to her, too. I don't get it~ why I live this way?'' I couldn't keep these angry words inside my confused and frustrated heart, so I revealed them while I was yelling.

He was completely shocked, and he couldn't utter a word.
Then he moved towards the exit door and went out silently leaving me behind him sobbing like a lost child.

I just wanted to hit everything came in front of my face. I hated it so hard, and wanted oppa to return back and hug me to comfort me as always, but nothing of this happened.

I really couldn't understand him these days. He was just getting angry at me for no reason, ignoring me when I ask important questions and leaving me crying alone when he have nothing to say.

He was never like that, and I started to feel really confused because of him. I became worried that he might abandon me like my real parents. I prefered to sleep forever if this was the matter. 

After half an hour, I washed my face, which was full of tears, and lain down on my bed to get some sleep.

Before closing my eyes, I picked up my phone and typed to Sohyun: 
''I know that you are angry, but please forgive me. If I lost you, too, I would have no reason to live anymore.''

Then I just closed my eyes tightly, and whispered sadly,''Oppa~ please don't leave me~ please.''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that this chapter seems to be sad, but this is not the end. It will get better next chapter, so don't worry ppl^^

Thanx for whoever follow and read my story even without commenting; I like to read comments, though :(
Anyway, enjoy reading!

Thanx^^

 Don't bother yourselves asking why this and why that~ I know that this chapter is a little bit confusing but still we are in the beginning of the story; still more to come^^

 , P.S. Pardon my errors and mstakes in the language